Body Image Issues & ED Support Thread

[Sideboard Bob]

Oh, sorry, I know you weren’t downplaying it. I just know when I look like an idiot and I had a feeling that was a time when I came across like a massive one.



So sorry things aren’t good for you either. I see your posts and you are always so upbeat, but I suppose we can hide a million things with our posts. Remember, I am always here, lurking, trying not to be an idiot, trying to get through each day. Sending huge hugs Bob xxx

I’m glad you understand. Hey, who hasn’t acted like, or just felt like an idiot.


Haha yes, I definitely hide it well, it’s only if someone catches me crying at work, or when my brother asks how I really am that it all comes out.

Thank you so so much, it really means a lot. We can all get through each day, and know that it’s something to be proud of. Sending huge hugs to you too lovely xxx

 

[BelleAmie]

Does anyone else find social media and pop culture especially triggering? I’m okay in my daily life, but sometimes you just see a picture on Instagram or watch a movie that is all about the importance of being beautiful and thin, and it really gives you all the wrong thoughts. At least I’m an adult, hate to think how dangerous it can be for teenagers

Yep - I’ve been watching Selling Sunset today and they are are SO thin and it makes me feel bad that I don’t look like them, and then I restrict, and then I binge and the cycle continues

 

[Sideboard Bob]

have stayed away and from F&D because I don’t want to be the one to be tiptoed around.

Spoiler: Off topic

Ah I just realised what you mean about that thread

Your response was so graceful, I didn’t know what to say. I don’t think anyone feels they need to tiptoe around you, but I do get it.

But the fact that it was asked, totally innocently, if anyone minds triggering topics, made it hard for anyone to answer honestly if they did mind. I had to bite my tongue because I wanted to say, “well yes, you know it’s hard for other people and there’s a whole other thread for that topic so maybe that would be better?”.

Thankfully you and others responded in a more thoughtful and mature way. I know it’s more a “me problem” than a “them problem” though.

But you’re missed there, it’s meant to be a non-triggering space for everyone x

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Spoiler: Off topic

Ah I just realised what you mean about that thread

Your response was so graceful, I didn’t know what to say. I don’t think anyone feels they need to tiptoe around you, but I do get it.

But the fact that it was asked, totally innocently, if anyone minds triggering topics, made it hard for anyone to answer honestly if they did mind. I had to bite my tongue because I wanted to say, “well yes, you know it’s hard for other people and there’s a whole other thread for that topic so maybe that would be better?”.

Thankfully you and others responded in a more thoughtful and mature way. I know it’s more a “me problem” than a “them problem” though.

But you’re missed there, it’s meant to be a non-triggering space for everyone x

It’s so difficult isn’t it? Like others were saying, seeing triggers everywhere (SS), on SM, means that it is hard to get away from it. My MIL is deep in SW culture and my manager is obsessed with weight and sizing.

It is on us, we are the ones with the ED, but when it creeps into the threads we enjoy being on (and there are designated WL and SW threads for people to go to) it becomes hard.

Is there an answer? I know with the calorie stuff on menus people are becoming more understanding, but there is still a long way to go.

Hoping everyone has as a good a day as possible.

 

[soymilk]

it's been so comforting for me reading all of your posts, I've resonated with so many things that have been said. I've been fighting this for so long and although I'm physically better, mentally I'm all over the place atm - I've just been away for the weekend with a group of girls and everytime a pic was sent into the group chat I couldn't bare to open it because I knew I was going to see myself as a "fat mess". I feel ridiculous even typing that, a part of me knows that's not true but still, it's a thought that is embedded in my brain and I can't shift it!
Hoping everyone has a nice day and is kind to themselves

 

[WhatABore]

It makes it so difficult with my partner too as he has always been an average weight.
He sees food as a boring chore he has to do.
And as someone who Binge eats and comfort eats, I just can't see how he could think that. It amazes me. That someone isn't thinking about food, calories, weight, 24/7.

He eats whatever he wants and usually, eats a lot more unhealthy than me, but I presume he had a super high metabolism because he just doesn't gain weight.

He's never had to diet in his life, he has no idea about calories, nothing.

Trying very hard to raise my 3 kids the way he was raised in the hopes they end up the same as him. But he was raised where he was allowed to eat whatever and he was in control of how much.
It is a very hard thing to get my head around and let go of that control and worry!

 

[BelleAmie]

Hi all, how has everyone found today? I find days where I’m at home quite challenging because there’s nothing to stop me from just eating my way through the house. I’m back at work tomorrow so I’m hoping some routine will help. I’m taking extra snacks because I find that I don’t plan ahead and bring enough food to work so I end up getting really hungry and then I overeat when I get home. Hope you are all ok

 

[Agent Cooper]

I’m struggling today. I know my perception of my body is distorted by my issues, but it’s still so difficult.

 

[instanonsense]

I’m struggling today. I know my perception of my body is distorted by my issues, but it’s still so difficult.

Sending you loads of love. For me knowing that my thoughts and feelings are irrational makes me feel worse! I think give myself a doubly hard time! Dealing with the intrusive thoughts is hard enough but then I give myself an extra kicking for having the intrusive thoughts and not being “normal” Is anything causing your struggle today? For me 90% of the time I have these feelings it’s because something else is going on. Something bad will happen or I’m stressed about something and I instantly feel fat.

I want to write more about my story but I’m struggling a lot myself at the moment and I don’t really have the mental capacity to do so. I’d like to be more active on this thread but I feel guilty if I post and then don’t respond for days. Does anyone else give themselves a hard time over EVERYTHING??

Eating disorders are truly tit and lonely. Sending you all loads of love xx

 

[Agent Cooper]

Sending you loads of love. For me knowing that my thoughts and feelings are irrational makes me feel worse! I think give myself a doubly hard time! Dealing with the intrusive thoughts is hard enough but then I give myself an extra kicking for having the intrusive thoughts and not being “normal” Is anything causing your struggle today? For me 90% of the time I have these feelings it’s because something else is going on. Something bad will happen or I’m stressed about something and I instantly feel fat.

I want to write more about my story but I’m struggling a lot myself at the moment and I don’t really have the mental capacity to do so. I’d like to be more active on this thread but I feel guilty if I post and then don’t respond for days. Does anyone else give themselves a hard time over EVERYTHING??

Eating disorders are truly tit and lonely. Sending you all loads of love xx

Thank you, you are so kind! I’m not in a very good place right now, lost my job due to the pandemic and haven’t been able to get another one for a while. I study full time so finding something that works with my schedule is almost impossible. It bothers me so much. It also leads me to compare myself to people my age who do have a job, and then I go from general comparisons to body comparisons and it makes me feel terrible. I feel like such a failure even though I have little control over the situation.

And please don’t feel any pressure to post when you are not feeling it! I know what you mean about not having the mental capacity, I get it too so I just lurk for days before going back to posting. On this thread, we are here for each other anyway x

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

[

Thank you, you are so kind! I’m not in a very good place right now, lost my job due to the pandemic and haven’t been able to get another one for a while. I study full time so finding something that works with my schedule is almost impossible. It bothers me so much. It also leads me to compare myself to people my age who do have a job, and then I go from general comparisons to body comparisons and it makes me feel terrible. I feel like such a failure even though I have little control over the situation.

And please don’t feel any pressure to post when you are not feeling it! I know what you mean about not having the mental capacity, I get it too so I just lurk for days before going back to posting. On this thread, we are here for each other anyway x

So sorry you are feeling this way. This is such a tit way to live. There is no other way to put it and there is nothing I can say to make you change your mind. Just know we are here and are listening when things are bad.

We are told by those who are around us that what we see in the mirror isn’t what others see, but that doesn’t help does it? That won’t change our contorted view of our bodies. It won’t change the endless arguments in our heads or the fact that we do things in private to feel in control.

sending . Hopefully tomorrow might be a bit brighter. If not, we are here.

 

[Puppys]

This thread is for everyone who has body image issues and/or eating disorders. I want this to be a safe place for all posters so please use trigger warnings for potentially triggering posts and try not to include or at least blur out numbers, sizes etc. This is not a substitute for professional advice but we can use this thread to get things off our chest and share our experiences.

Everyone is welcome here whether diagnosed or not

Love this

it's been so comforting for me reading all of your posts, I've resonated with so many things that have been said. I've been fighting this for so long and although I'm physically better, mentally I'm all over the place atm - I've just been away for the weekend with a group of girls and everytime a pic was sent into the group chat I couldn't bare to open it because I knew I was going to see myself as a "fat mess". I feel ridiculous even typing that, a part of me knows that's not true but still, it's a thought that is embedded in my brain and I can't shift it!
Hoping everyone has a nice day and is kind to themselves

Please don't feel ridiculous

Last night wasn’t as disastrous as it could have been so I am taking that as a win.

Mostly, I just feel so tired of the constant voice in my head. My wife wants me to delete MFP (which I do periodically just to reinstall the next morning) but what she doesn’t understand is that I know all the numbers anyway and am permanently counting and adding and working out how much to run/walk/swim. On another thread, I got so angry when people were giving the wrong calorie values for foods. I ended up correcting them and looked like, in all honesty, a huge twit. My body image is much better and I am learning not to want to look how I used to but this endless dialogue is exhausting.

I see people on Instagram say they have recovered. But how? Like the poster above, I see those who are in pseudo recovery and that is so dangerous. It leads people up the garden path, allows us to think that we can be well again.

Can we?

Don't think you can ever fully recover just get better its like anything isnt it once its a problem its always a problem thats just my opinion but I do believe with support it can improve

 

[smooth_operator33]

so glad i’ve found this thread
i wasn’t diagnosed with an ED but went for therapy and they told me i just had badly disordered eating. I know it was worse- a mix of AN and orthorexia i think. That was around 3/4 years ago now. I’m now 21 and i have good and bad days. I don’t think it’s something that will ever go, just something that’s maintained and controlled i guess. i’ve had binge and bulimic episodes but managed to pull away from them pretty quickly as i truly hated the feeling. For sure i have some habits still but some are easier to get over than others i guess
really glad to see this page tho- with summer coming up it can feel really hard to not lean into old ways

 

[July9696]

Nice to see this. Wondering if anyone can relate to me..
I’ve been in recovery ten years and don’t struggle with calories or food much anymore but still struggle with the idea of not being thin and have never allowed myself to gain weight above a certain set point a few pounds into the ‘healthy’ range cos i identify too much with looking thin (as in, it takes up most of my identity, sad I know). In the early years of recovery it never came up but never wouldve thought id still be here 10 years on!

 

[Agent Cooper]

So sorry you are feeling this way. This is such a tit way to live. There is no other way to put it and there is nothing I can say to make you change your mind. Just know we are here and are listening when things are bad.

We are told by those who are around us that what we see in the mirror isn’t what others see, but that doesn’t help does it? That won’t change our contorted view of our bodies. It won’t change the endless arguments in our heads or the fact that we do things in private to feel in control.

sending . Hopefully tomorrow might be a bit brighter. If not, we are here.

Thank you Just knowing I can talk to you guys on here makes me feel better x

Nice to see this. Wondering if anyone can relate to me..
I’ve been in recovery ten years and don’t struggle with calories or food much anymore but still struggle with the idea of not being thin and have never allowed myself to gain weight above a certain set point a few pounds into the ‘healthy’ range cos i identify too much with looking thin (as in, it takes up most of my identity, sad I know). In the early years of recovery it never came up but never wouldve thought id still be here 10 years on!

I have a similar problem even though I’ve never been what is traditionally seen as ‘thin’? I’m a size 10, have been since I was around 12. It actually really triggers me when people talk about ‘teenage thinness’ because I was never thin as a teenager, even when I starved myself. My body shape is what they call an hourglass so I also look ‘curvier’ compared to people who weigh the same but have a different body shape. It’s caused me so much stress and dissatisfaction in my life. Have you noticed what makes you focus on your size so much? Do you think being a certain size makes you seem more ‘desirable’ or ‘successful’? Because essentially our bodies are just houses we live in, they are not our whole personality, and there are many things about them that we don’t get to choose: height, skin, hair and eye colour, shoe size, genetic predisposition to be a certain shape…These characteristics are neither our accomplishment nor out fault, and at the end of the day character traits mean so much more than our looks.

These are just my thoughts, and I know how hard it is to change your mindset even if you know it’s just your ED speaking and not the truth. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling, here is a big hug for you 🫂

 

[July9696]

Thank you Just knowing I can talk to you guys on here makes me feel better x

I have a similar problem even though I’ve never been what is traditionally seen as ‘thin’? I’m a size 10, have been since I was around 12. It actually really triggers me when people talk about ‘teenage thinness’ because I was never thin as a teenager, even when I starved myself. My body shape is what they call an hourglass so I also look ‘curvier’ compared to people who weigh the same but have a different body shape. It’s caused me so much stress and dissatisfaction in my life. Have you noticed what makes you focus on your size so much? Do you think being a certain size makes you seem more ‘desirable’ or ‘successful’? Because essentially our bodies are just houses we live in, they are not our whole personality, and there are many things about them that we don’t get to choose: height, skin, hair and eye colour, shoe size, genetic predisposition to be a certain shape…These characteristics are neither our accomplishment nor out fault, and at the end of the day character traits mean so much more than our looks.

These are just my thoughts, and I know how hard it is to change your mindset even if you know it’s just your ED speaking and not the truth. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling, here is a big hug for you 🫂

You’re right about our bodies being a house we live in or a shell for our souls, I’ve tried so hard to focus on other more important things about myself as its like punishing yourself for having size 6 feet rather than size 5.

For me it’s always been about 1) feeling safe and 2) seeing being thin as a success (sth that I took on as a child). I have been and I guess am successful in other areas of my life, career, relationship, independence but my thin success trumps all. Maybe others can relate but even though I know it doesn’t mean success or safety in reality, it’s such a deep seated belief. Like even if everything goes wrong in my life, I’ll still have being thin.

That being said, I’ve made lots of progress with food. I no longer have fear foods and can eat what I fancy (generally). I don’t calorie count and can eat at restaurants no problem, which I hope provides some hope that things can change (I didn’t believe it ever would)

 

[Gidget00_]

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

How is everyone doing?

Spoiler: weight mention

the person who is the subject of the thread I am on the most actually posted her weight on Twitter this afternoon and it sent me into a spiral. She is well known for posting very triggering ED posts. I spent ages looking at pictures of her, seeing her at various stages, trying to find evidence that is she is this weight. Ffs this is so messed up. Why do we do this to ourselves? I had to stay away from her because of her triggering posts but that is sad because the people on there are fun and it is nice to be on the thread generally.

Yesterday wasn’t great. Learning to move on without days of guilt and repeat behaviours.

 

[smooth_operator33]

Yesterday wasn’t great. Learning to move on without days of guilt and repeat behaviours.
[/QUOTE]

i’ve been really quite good recently, i just unexpectedly came on my period this week (i’m on the pill and was mid pack) but i think it’s due to stress from university work
body feels all fluffy and bloated but just layering up and staying intuitive - major urges to track my calories tho and i’ve not done this in months…🫤

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I hope everyone’s doing ok. I have so much I want to talk about and empathise with others about, but my head isn’t in the right place just now, but something has been on my mind.

I genuinely think women can be beautiful as all shapes and sizes. I’m bisexual, and I prefer women, so this isn’t just a “you go girl” thing, I really do think women can be beautiful in so many ways.
But I can never see myself that way. I’d never, ever criticise (even internally), another woman who has a similar body type to mine. Does that make sense? it’s not even like I want to think I’m “hot”, it’s just this stupid illness is so cruel to myself, but I’m glad my “real” self still sees other people in a clear way.