Body Image Issues & ED Support Thread

[Jadejones9596]

Hi all,
Just reaching out for a bit of advice and support.
I have body dysmorphia, diagnosed properly last year. Been single for 10 years due to problems with my self image.
Just started a very new relationship only in the second month and I’m struggling as he isn’t the most complimentary about my looks or so I think!
I’m sure before he told me I have an amazing body but I can’t remember if he did. He says seeing my face cheers him up but never really calls me beautiful or anything
Am I expecting too much because of my BDD? Am I needing too much reassurance? He compliments my personality all the time and he is quite hands on when we are together. He just never really calls me things like gorgeous or beautiful! I asked early on if he’s attracted to me and he said yes
He has ADHD and anxiety so I wonder if he’s shy?
Appreciate talking it through x

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I need to rant and I have nowhere else to go with this, there’s an ED helpline, but they’re not open until later today.

Long story short, I have suffered quite badly from bulimia in the past, finally got help a few years ago, and I’ve at least been physically recovered since then.

Now I’ve had depression for a while, and started a new antidepressant a few weeks ago. One of the possible side effects is weight gain, I hoped I wouldn’t get that, but I have. I won’t go into numbers or details but I stupidly weighed myself this morning, and it’s more than I can deal with.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this, sorry.

It’s like all the nasty things my ED brain would tell me about my body are now literally true, and I can’t handle it. I’m going to ask my doctor if I can stop this medication.

It’s like a cruel joke, I’ve tried so many antidepressants before, this one seemed like it might help, but now it’s just added another problem, and I’m still f*cking depressed.

I don’t need anyone to reply, everyone has their own things to deal with, and it could be a lot worse, but I just needed to get it off my chest. If anyone’s even read this far, thank you x

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I called the helpline, and the woman I spoke to was so kind with her advice and non-judgemental. I was so embarrassed to still be dealing with these issues and kept crying, but she was so patient.

I really hope everyone else is doing as ok as can be.

 

[Agent Cooper]

I called the helpline, and the woman I spoke to was so kind with her advice and non-judgemental. I was so embarrassed to still be dealing with these issues and kept crying, but she was so patient.

I really hope everyone else is doing as ok as can be.

Hi Sideboard Bob! I don’t have much time now but I just wanted to say that you are not alone, so many of us struggle or used to struggle with something similar. I’m so proud of you reaching out to get the support, I know it’s not easy Hope you are doing better, please report back tomorrow and tell us how you are feeling, and I will try to reply properly soon.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Hi Sideboard Bob! I don’t have much time now but I just wanted to say that you are not alone, so many of us struggle or used to struggle with something similar. I’m so proud of you reaching out to get the support, I know it’s not easy Hope you are doing better, please report back tomorrow and tell us how you are feeling, and I will try to reply properly soon.

Thank you for your sweet words AC!
I wish you didn’t know what it’s like, but it helps that other people understand. You’re so right that it’s not easy, I was shaking before I made that phone call.

Please don’t worry about replying I really hope YOU are doing ok though.

To be honest I don’t know how I’ll be tomorrow, but hopefully in a couple of weeks I’ll be off these nightmare antidepressants and be able to try another kind that doesn’t send me spiralling.

 

[Agent Cooper]

Thank you for your sweet words AC!
I wish you didn’t know what it’s like, but it helps that other people understand. You’re so right that it’s not easy, I was shaking before I made that phone call.

Please don’t worry about replying I really hope YOU are doing ok though.

To be honest I don’t know how I’ll be tomorrow, but hopefully in a couple of weeks I’ll be off these nightmare antidepressants and be able to try another kind that doesn’t send me spiralling.

Thank you! I’m as okay as can be, I guess. Still have ups and downs but I try to distract myself as much as I can.

You are so strong and I admire that Do you think it is possible for you to change your medication to something that still works but does not affect your weight? Maybe you could mention it to your doctor during your next appointment. There are quite a lot of options these days so hopefully you can find something that works best with as few side effects as possible

 

[Lazarus]

@Sideboard Bob
Hey Sidey B, how are you doing? I’m kinda in the throes of this atm, looked for a thread on here and seen it’s been a while since it’s been posted on. Hope you’re ok.xxx

 

[Sideboard Bob]

@Sideboard Bob
Hey Sidey B, how are you doing? I’m kinda in the throes of this atm, looked for a thread on here and seen it’s been a while since it’s been posted on. Hope you’re ok.xxx

Hey Laz, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s such a mind-duck. I stopped taking the antidepressants I was on (I would NOT recommend this to anyone else!) because as well as triggering me too much they were having other negative side effects.

It is worth trying to keep in mind the bigger picture though, if it’s going to help your health overall, it’s so worth it.

This is a quiet thread, but lots of kindness and advice, so I really hope it helps you if needed xxx

 

[Agent Cooper]

@Sideboard Bob
I’m kinda in the throes of this atm, looked for a thread on here and seen it’s been a while since it’s been posted on.

Hey there! Sorry you are going through this, this thread isn’t very active but I still check it from time to time, I’m here if you need to talk. Please remember it’s not you, it’s your illness, and you are not alone

 

[Lazarus]

Hey there! Sorry you are going through this, this thread isn’t very active but I still check it from time to time, I’m here if you need to talk. Please remember it’s not you, it’s your illness, and you are not alone

Thanks so much Agent Coops (oh how I love Dale Cooper!).
,I have binge/purge bulimia, I’ve had it for 26 years, but the past year has been the worst it’s been. I think in part to do with me successfully losing weight during Lockdown, doing SW. I lost almost 3st, got to my target and immediately a switch went off in my head and I just couldn’t do it any more. Ever since then I’ve gained all bar a stone of what I lost, my eating is more disordered than ever and the binge cycles are really distressing. I’m now trying to lose weight healthily whist at the same time overcome this cycle of binge/purge/binge/purge. It’s hard.
I’ve been referred to ED specialist and to the weight management service and in the meantime asked my GP for metformin to act as an appetite suppressant which will hopefully help break the cycle of binge eating. Started taking the tablets on Sunday and whilst not hoping for a miracle, I’m hoping they help. Fingers crossed - I think I’ll have a long wait ahead of me for the psychological support.

 

[underwhelmed1985]

I’ve struggled on and off with body image and tonight I went to get some food as munchies hit and my husband kindly told me I’ve had a lot of calories today and to put said food down. I’m feeling very upset and triggered over this

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I’ve struggled on and off with body image and tonight I went to get some food as munchies hit and my husband kindly told me I’ve had a lot of calories today and to put said food down. I’m feeling very upset and triggered over this

No wonder you’re feeling upset, that’s a really cruel and unnecessary thing for him to say. I’m so sorry.

 

[Smell_my_cheese]

I’ve struggled on and off with body image and tonight I went to get some food as munchies hit and my husband kindly told me I’ve had a lot of calories today and to put said food down. I’m feeling very upset and triggered over this

I’m really sorry he said that to you. It completely damages any progress you may have made. Men (probably women too) can be so insensitive. Often if we eat out, my boyfriend will say “Your portion is huge!!” And then will often not finish his serving as he’s “stuffed”. Makes me feel like a greedy pig if I then eat all of mine. Ruins any enjoyment of food whatsoever. I do sympathise with you xx

 

[zetta buttons]

Just popping on to say hello, to all those who are struggling right now. How are things with the stuff you mentioned upthread sidey B?

In the middle of a big dip. Not really up to talking about it, but each day is a becoming a battle again.

Sorry that the things people say are so hurtful. At the time, it feels deliberate and malicious, particularly in the moment. But I think we are coming from different places. We are coming from a place of disorder and irrationality, they aren’t and can’t see that what they say may be hurtful. That isn’t to say what is being said isn’t wrong or insensitive- it is, but they might not understand the extent to which it is. I hope this comes across ok. I’m not defending anyone, just trying to rationalise because…

We had a huge argument about something that was said off the cuff last weekend (about the calories in Halo Top ice cream and what they equated to). I went flying off the handle, screamed and cried and put washing up liquid in the rest of the pot to stop myself eating it. As you can imagine, that went down like a lead balloon. Food wise since then, things have gone from bad to worse.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Just popping on to say hello, to all those who are struggling right now. How are things with the stuff you mentioned upthread sidey B?

In the middle of a big dip. Not really up to talking about it, but each day is a becoming a battle again.

Sorry that the things people say are so hurtful. At the time, it feels deliberate and malicious, particularly in the moment. But I think we are coming from different places. We are coming from a place of disorder and irrationality, they aren’t and can’t see that what they say may be hurtful. That isn’t to say what is being said isn’t wrong or insensitive- it is, but they might not understand the extent to which it is. I hope this comes across ok. I’m not defending anyone, just trying to rationalise because…

We had a huge argument about something that was said off the cuff last weekend (about the calories in Halo Top ice cream and what they equated to). I went flying off the handle, screamed and cried and put washing up liquid in the rest of the pot to stop myself eating it. As you can imagine, that went down like a lead balloon. Food wise since then, things have gone from bad to worse.

I’m so sorry things are hard for you again

When you speak about these issues ZB, it really shows that it is an illness, and not your own way of thinking. Because you can look at it all rationally, objectively and understand what’s happening, but it still affects you. It’s not fair.

I had to stop taking the antidepressants, because they just made things worse, I was feeling triggered by my own body, and constantly on edge that I was going to engage in harmful behaviours again. So now I’m just trying to hang in there until I see the psychiatrist in a couple of weeks to see what he suggests.

I really hope things get better again for you soon. That goes for everyone here too.

 

[instanonsense]

***might be triggering but I don’t know how to do it properly***

Sending everyone who’s struggling my love. I’m currently struggling. Nothing too major at the moment but I have lost a bit of weight in a short period and I’m borderline with my bmi. I need to get on top of it before it gets out of control. I’ve noticed a few behaviours have crept back in since the weight loss. I think you lose a lot of cognitive ability with weight loss. Anyway, people are careless with their words. I don’t think they’re being malicious (most of the time), they just don’t think. A couple of days ago a friend messaged to tell me I’m looking gorgeous It’s really messed with my head. It’s made me feel like I shouldn’t put the weight I’ve lost back on. Healthy is not a look ffs. I know I’m not at my body’s healthy set point at the moment.

 

[zetta buttons]

I’m so sorry things are hard for you again

When you speak about these issues ZB, it really shows that it is an illness, and not your own way of thinking. Because you can look at it all rationally, objectively and understand what’s happening, but it still affects you. It’s not fair.

I had to stop taking the antidepressants, because they just made things worse, I was feeling triggered by my own body, and constantly on edge that I was going to engage in harmful behaviours again. So now I’m just trying to hang in there until I see the psychiatrist in a couple of weeks to see what he suggests.

I really hope things get better again for you soon. That goes for everyone here too.

I’m so sorry the AD made you feel like that. We hear about side effects but when those physical side effects combine, add to psychological ones and potentially exacerbate the initial condition, it’s just heartbreaking.

I hope the break from them gives you some respite from those thoughts and a discussion about a new way forward helps.

I forget about this thread () but my thoughts are always here. We need to remember we are never alone in feeling this way about food, even though at times it can feel that way.

 

[Lazarus]

I’m so sorry the AD made you feel like that. We hear about side effects but when those physical side effects combine, add to psychological ones and potentially exacerbate the initial condition, it’s just heartbreaking.

I hope the break from them gives you some respite from those thoughts and a discussion about a new way forward helps.

I forget about this thread () but my thoughts are always here. We need to remember we are never alone in feeling this way about food, even though at times it can feel that way.

Sending big love ZB xx it’s a tough old slog.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I’m so sorry the AD made you feel like that. We hear about side effects but when those physical side effects combine, add to psychological ones and potentially exacerbate the initial condition, it’s just heartbreaking.

I hope the break from them gives you some respite from those thoughts and a discussion about a new way forward helps.

I forget about this thread () but my thoughts are always here. We need to remember we are never alone in feeling this way about food, even though at times it can feel that way.

Thank you. You’ve explained so clearly why it went so wrong!

It has given me a respite from thinking that way though, thankfully.

That’s such a good point. I don’t know about anyone else, but I often beat myself up for thinking that way, “you should be able to snap out of this by now, get over it” etc. But I would NEVER think that about anyone else going through the same.
So, it does help to not feel as alone, althigugh I wouldn’t wish any of this on anyone

 

[zetta buttons]

Just letting off steam, no need to reply.

Spoiler: Big old rant

I just need to let off some steam and needed to write down my thoughts.
I’ve been injured for almost three months so can’t run or exercise like normal and this is sending me off it. I have been in this situation before but ran through it(which ended in a very expensive course of treatment). The lack of control and constant pain is turning me into a horrid person. I am spending all my free time calculating stuff on MFP, working out how little I can eat. I go a few days eating 500/600 calories and then am so hungry, eat a huge pot of fat free yoghurt or healthy ice cream (because that’s ok isn’t it). I’m such a bleeping mess. I’m 42. I have no idea how to be an adult about this, my wife is struggling at work and I’m being the biggest self- indulgent idiot with all this shite. It needs to stop. I need to stop. I can’t. I can’t focus on anything but food. All I think about at work is is how calories the members are eating or how many I am burning. This is horrendous.

Apologies.