Well here is the summary of the slog, as Jesus would have wanted on the day of his crucifixion.
She 'just had her hair done' and it looks like this - she's definitely balding like Mummy Wends. The hairline is so high she's got a five or six head at this point.
Weird suitcase ad for our hot airport classy babe. She does an order from Snag but 'tends not to order too much because the more you add to your cart the more it costs' - revolutionary thinking there, Becks. We get a preview of what JP inevitably sees when she's flying over to beg for his attention. She ordered a 'G' which is a size 24/26 and says they fit like Spanx - not because she's actually a size 28/30 of course.
Then she squeezes herself like a sausage in casing into an Abercrombie dress and claims she looks like a 'dainty summer princess'.
And oh my god - she's bringing her mum and dad to Monaco. JP must be absolutely mortified. She looks pleased as punch, presumably she's taking it as some kind of bizarre sign he does REALLY REALLY like her. Becky, if you have to drag your parents abroad for your boyfriend of 6/7 years to spend time with them, then it's not a relationship - you're a booty call who you've cornered into a family reunion.