Ashley James #44 Simply the vest

[Marmite.Crumpets]

I've been watching this all from a distance for a little while. The way they are failing Alf breaks my heart. With my oldest (who had hearing / communication issues & suspected ASD) we did EVERYTHING we could to get him ready for school! We even enrolled him to the school nursery for the last term so he had a chance to make friends before as non of the kids in the private nursery were going to his school.

We walked past the playground, explained what the bell was for, got him to see how busy it was. We did transitions with the nursery - they took him to his teacher, to his classroom, he role-played with school uniform & he thrived. Now, he might have also thrived if we didn't do all those things - but that wasn't a chance I wanted to take. And we'll be doing the same with my other boy when he is ready for school.

It seems OTT - but change is hard for everyone & kids need that explanation. What are they going to do - just move to London, away from Lovely day and RaRa, away from NNB & shove Alf in a new nursery 8am - 6pm and hope for the best?!

It really boils my piss that she's got two kids that she can't look after - she said she wanted to be child-free and I think she should have followed that route. She is far too selfish to be able to provide for those kids. I've said it before, but I really, really hope that all they money she's got from exposing their childhood, she has put away & they can use for therapy when they are older - because they will need it!

 

[willowtree2]

Sorry Ash but karmas a bitch. You CHOSE to fly back because TM is more important. I don’t even feel bad for her missing Ada’s first steps. She would’ve walked much sooner had she not put paper weights on her feet for 2 months!

 

[willowtree2]

View attachment 2854254
she is fucking horrific.

Fucked in the head. She left an unweaned 6 month old baby at nursery in 30c heat for 30 hours a week and ignored Alfie for almost a year. I’d say she does leave them without a care in the world

 

[Algeronwashere]

She gives herself all of the credit Mums are given but doesn’t do any of the actual parenting Mums do.

 

[SavvyBee]

She misses her old life SO much and has all these friends she needs to move back to London to see but spent her child free evening tidying the playroom. Tell me you’ve got no friends…..

 

[aggytha]

“And I didn’t think I’d be like this as a mum at all. I thought I’d always be leaving them without a care in the world”

erm, r u ok hun

 

[willowtree2]

At what point though, is she going to stop treating him like a baby? That’s why he acts like one! She used the iPad excuse as to why he watches one when he eats, but now he doesn’t feed himself. He’s turning into a complete vegetable and she’s blaming it on Ada.

Get the bloody cot bumpers off. Put the iPad away. Make a family meal and talk to him/them. Encourage him to walk to places. Skip, jump, go on adventures. Talk about the trees, cars, shops. Take a scooter! Yes he is delayed but they aren’t helping him and at this rate Ada will be considered the Mensa child, even though she’ll likely be average if she’s lucky with those parents.

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

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Can’t cry troll at her really can you Ash!

 

[theaceofstace]

I didn’t put a vest on my daughter tonight, but she’s awake. What the hell?!

 

[willowtree2]

Alf is a child who likes to be a baby.

No, he isn't. He's a child that's been let down by his incompetent parents who have failed him time and time again and not worked at supporting his development.

Give him a knife and fork, eat proper meals with him, let him make a mess, get him a trike/scooter, speak to him properly and free him from that bloody cage room.

It breaks my heart. There’s not one thought about school and how he’ll cope. Even nurseries 3y onwards set them up for school, enabling kids to have independence with feeding, toileting and mobility. How’s Alf going to cope if they walk to a local nature reserve/woodland? Is he going to have a 1-1 to feed his meals everyday? He can’t even do basic playground stuff on his own. Using apparatus. Trikes. If he is ND, it’s a different ball game and that’s where she should be seeking an EHCP (good luck with that one). They have done nothing but that set Alf up for failure. Where does treating him like a baby stop? Acting like a baby because he has a sibling….who isn’t a baby anymore.

I almost threw my phone at the floor. Mental. Just mental.

 

[SavvyBee]

There isn’t a chance Alf has got the verbal or emotional skills to recognise the baby option vs grown up option and actively choose and verbalise that he wants the baby option. Fair enough he might want nappies but that’s because they’ve not laid much ground work for the transition out of them. He sits in a baby high chair because he has always been put in it (despite that very high chair being designed to ensure they transition to eating at the table with the family easily). He doesn’t want to walk because he’s always been wedged in the pushchair with a screen and not allowed to build his stamina and encouraged to engage with the surroundings, so sitting with a screen is obviously easier. He doesn’t climb, or run or jump because he’s contained in spaces that don’t give him that opportunity to practice. He is still given “that’s not my” books and gets read maybe 1-2 books a day (recorded for mummy’s insta content) if that, so he isn’t exposed to a wider vocabulary or more sophisticated ideas or stories. He is given baby toys more suitable for his little sister so that she can play with them too, rather than things that challenge him or encourage him to play in new ways.
If they truly do think Alf is ND then their behaviour is even more disgusting because it’s clear they’ve just thought “oh he’s going to be behind anyway, we might as well just not bother”. I get wanting to keep them a baby - my heart breaks a little bit inside every time I realise my little one can do X on his own or he learns a new song, or does a puzzle on his own, or whatever but whilst I’d love him to stay this gorgeous 2yo I absolutely love watching him learn and gain independence and I don’t shy away from it because that’s parenthood for you. But Ash has remarked with great frequency how she didn’t enjoy the baby stage and frankly doesn’t enjoy this phase of “being needed” aka motherhood so much, so I don't understand their reluctance to help Alf develop other than pure ineptness and laziness.
I can also understand that when a new baby comes along the older one might want to regress a little as an attention thing but 14 months in if your older child still wants to act babyish for attention you really need to look at why that is. Perhaps he wants to be more like his baby sister because he sees how much differently she gets treated by his mum!

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

There are not strong enough words to express how I feel about those two ‘parents’.
Fine Ash, share whatever you want about your own prolapse etc but your infant child?! Share what you like about your own continence (remember the Tena ad) but your toddler son?
No fucking way.

I am judging. And I am neither jealous nor unhappy. I’m safe in the knowledge that my children will never be exploited like yours are.

 

[willowtree2]

If my 1yo had a prolapse and had been on a flight I’d be staying home with her to make sure things stay in place 🫣 Also, softplay where I am, it’s £35 for me and 2 toddlers to go. It’s mad how much money these idiots have.

Staying home with her kids is actually a fear for this woman. It’s utterly fucking bizarre! She’ll be moaning about having loads of washing and unpacking to do tomorrow around 2 kids. Maybe do it now whilst TNB home?!?!
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Ash is the reason we don’t go to soft play. Every time at least one of my kid ends up really sick. Because of people like Ash who can’t stay the fuck at home with their sick children

Softplay is a CESSPIT

 

[sasbeep]

Is there anything more hilarious than a sign saying “wild and free” in Alf’s room?

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Oh my god

Ash, everything you are taking is packed and boxed beforehand. The removal van comes. You put your belongings in it. They get your furniture in it. This takes a lot of time, so book it early and haul your lazy deflated soufflé bum out of bed at the crack of dawn. Get someone to be responsible for amusing the kids (of course, they’ll be sat in front of the IPad most likely anyway) Now imagine you have a flight to catch, and YOU ALL HAVE TO BE OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH THE ESSENTIALS IN YOUR SUITCASES BY 12. Voila.

You don’t wake up on the morning of moving day and think ‘shit, I’ve got to pack up a whole house and get the kids ready to go by 12’

I moved with a 12 week old baby from a two bed on the second floor and my only help was a youth in a van to whom my dad had bunged £250 cash, he was meant to be there to help me himself but had covid, my neighbours thankfully pitched in to get the heavy stuff down the stairs or hold the baby and i took him in the pram with a huge backpack on my back across from west to south east London on the train and just had to hope the van with all our stuff in was waiting at the other end and I could bung him another £100 to help me unload into new flat. Do not recommend, but I did it and I’m laughing at her her stupidity and privilege right now. She’s a joke.

 

[okdo2022]

View attachment 2853114
He fucking hates her lol.Hand behind her on the chair not on her.Big gap in-between them.His body facing away from her.

Maybe it’s the static from her jumper that’s repelling him

 

[kingfisher100]

The pair of them are utterly clueless. Presumably Alf’s in a nappy at soft play too. No consistency at all.

also why would you take a baby that is unwell there too? Strangers on the internet shouldn’t know these intimate health details of these poor children

 

[anony12345678]

Ada is placid at the best of times, but currently lethargic and subdued and barely walks yet (maybe a few steps here and there). Ash has a large house, a contained playroom with a TV. No concerns about screen time limits. A nice, well maintained yard. Ada will be having two naps a day. HOW is she not able to get work done with her around? It’s not juggling if you throw two balls away. Two to three hours while Ada naps and another two hours after the kids in bed and that’s most of a day done without even having to work while parenting.
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She’s not even willing to have the “nanny” in her house with the kids while she’s there?

Amazing quote! Ashley James: it’s not juggling if you throw two balls away

 

[here4thenose4321]

His nappy should be straight off as soon as they got home and they should be back on the potty training. Giving the child such mixed messages, not a bit of wonder he won’t grasp it at all. She’ll be letting lovely day get on with it next week. Such a lazy bitch of a mother!

 

[aggytha]

It's often caused by constipation/ straining at stool ( combined with dehydration/lack of fibre in diet) ....you have to wonder what those poor kid's diet is like if they're both suffering with bowel issues

I won’t go deep into the details, but speaking as someone with a child who has suffered with severe constipation since a baby and is still under gastro/paeds age 3, it absolutely blows my mind to imagine how on earth this has happened to poor Ada.

Mine has often gone 10-12 days without a bowel movement (even with daily medication) and I’ve seen them in a type of discomfort and pain that is horrific to see as a parent, severe impaction, overflowing etc.. and still, we (thankfully!) have never had any concern of prolapse. I just don’t understand 1) how it’s happened in the first instance and 2) HOW THE FUCK SHE IS SO CHILL ABOUT IT? Get her to the fucking GP/hospital!!