Ashley Cain

Thetruth123 · Aug 31, 2021

Totally irrelevant really but it rubbed me the wrong way seeing he had on designer Chanel sandals on Lorraine!!!!!
Irrational I know and who am I to say what shoes he can and can’t wear but considering the very sensitive subject of money ....you would think he would lay it off!! Considering I think saff is very understated and classic ....ash does come off in my opinion just very self absorbed....please don’t hate me x

Lola123 · Aug 31, 2021

Thetruth123 said:
Totally irrelevant really but it rubbed me the wrong way seeing he had on designer Chanel sandals on Lorraine!!!!!
Irrational I know and who am I to say what shoes he can and can’t wear but considering the very sensitive subject of money ....you would think he would lay it off!! Considering I think saff is very understated and classic ....ash does come off in my opinion just very self absorbed....please don’t hate me x

All I could see was how small his feet are

not that that’s a problem just caught me off guard

Justlooking2020 · Aug 31, 2021

openbook1 said:
I will side with them on this. I am from the UK and now live in Canada. When I lived in the UK, for YEARS, I was dismissed by doctors not wanting to do tests. I had an incident happen as a teenager, where I was dismissed and I am lucky I did not end up with blood poisoning and die or for it to have been something more sinister. I know many people who have been ill and the doctors will not do testing... some have died. The NHS IS really underfunded and because of that, many doctors are dismissive and do not want to test.
Only did I realise how terrible they were when I moved to Canada. I had been ill 12 years and told it was all in my head by NHS doctors. Well, it took a couple of months to get imaging done here and a referral to a specialist which confirmed endometriosis. Never when I have been to a doctor here did I not feel listened to. Doctors here will not hesitate to do testing. I do not think many British people (like myself) realise how awful the testing system is there until they move away or something bad happens.

Hope you are better! Either that- or you go for testing (blood test) nothing comes back and they just say oh well nothing we can do. You have to push so hard and be relentless to get help. Occasionally you get the good GP who really cares

glitterandsparkles96 · Aug 31, 2021

I thought it was odd and insensitive of him when he liked Georgia Harrison’s photo when she was on the beach and you could see her nipples through her top! Imagine how Saf must’ve felt when she saw that! I understand some people wouldn’t care about that but IMO I would be fuming to see that esp with everything that was going on! He seemed like an amazing father but when it comes to being in a relationship, he seems so self-centered! Poor Saf, she tries so hard to get his attention and he does not care at all. I have to admit though - like others - the asking of recommendations on insta annoys me too!

BridgieO · Aug 31, 2021

My take on NHS England & being believed that there is something wrong with my child - basically accused of having Munchasseuns by proxy 7+ years ago , I was told I was imaging my daughters Type1 diabetes symptoms for over a year till she went I'm DKA & almost at deaths door & now their grief I didn't follow Azaylia's journey till a month before she passed- there is no set pattern to grief as I've learnt since losing my Mum & Nan within 6months , so stop the Judgement & let them get on with dealing with the loss of their beautiful daughter

ash247 · Aug 31, 2021

chocdip said:
This is what I don’t understand because they have a large following they are entitled to 50k (the nurse mum) to help her get by, most people have to work or at least rely on benefits what about people with no Instagram following who rely on benefits and no support network

my child was very poorly in hospital before his passing.I left work with the thoughts of me caring for him at home full time so I handed my notice in at work and started receiving income support. After 2 months he passed suddenly I had to take out a loan to pay the the funeral aswell as use all the savings I had. I was informed I could claim for ‘bereavement funeral costs’ however was denied any help what so ever.
I was left paying for a funeral for the next two years with slot of added interest! X

Millieminion · Aug 31, 2021

Noonoosanne2 said:
Set up a charity
There are 6 steps to setting up a charity.

Find trustees for your charity - you usually need at least 3.

Make sure the charity has ‘charitable purposes for the public benefit’.

Choose a name for your charity.

Choose a structure for your charity.

Create a ‘governing document’.

Register as a charity if your annual income is over £5,000 or if you set up a charitable incorporated organisation (CIO).

Copied from Gov.uk
I wonder if Ashley and Safiya have management behind them now with the charity, fundraisers etc if so I hope the companies intentions are right

There are also huge legal fees once it's set up before they can even start fundraising,I assume they have set themselves as trustees which means they need to take a wage too and their management will need to be paid,this is the basic level charity set up.i do however think that they have employed the best people around to help them make this successful and hopefully it will be huge.

Polly_Chops · Aug 31, 2021

I've just watched a clip of the podcast, Ash says he told saf not crumble & be nothing but happy while around the baby...while I think I can see where he coming from with that, when you feel poorly the last thing you want is someone singing in your face, I feel they took that to the extreme. Also saf desperately needs someone to talk to, when she was speaking her conversation didn't flow she was jumping from one memory to the next like there was so much she had to say it came out in a jumble,then she began to get upset & stopped herself. She says the words strength, inspiration, motivate but she doesn't feel that way & it's so sad to see. She's needs to cry & let that grief out because by following his lead or idea of being 'strong' she's suffering more. A little bug bear of mine is when a bereaved person is told to be strong, meaning don't cry, push back, carry on as normal, I think it's stronger to let the grief knock you down then get back up slowly, poor Saf

SaintLeo · Aug 31, 2021

Millieminion said:
There are also huge legal fees once it's set up before they can even start fundraising,I assume they have set themselves as trustees which means they need to take a wage too and their management will need to be paid,this is the basic level charity set up.i do however think that they have employed the best people around to help them make this successful and hopefully it will be huge.

There’s no legal fees involved in setting up a charity. You can chose to pay a solicitor or accountant to do this for you but anyone can go through the Charity Commission website to do it if they meet the criteria on the website. Also charity trustees aren’t paid, it’s a voluntary role and usually seen as a conflict of interest if they take a salary from the charity beyond out of pocket expenses. Charity employees do get paid but are answerable to the trustees who have the ultimate decision making power.

Goldfish · Aug 31, 2021

BridgieO said:
My take on NHS England & being believed that there is something wrong with my child - basically accused of having Munchasseuns by proxy 7+ years ago , I was told I was imaging my daughters Type1 diabetes symptoms for over a year till she went I'm DKA & almost at deaths door & now their grief I didn't follow Azaylia's journey till a month before she passed- there is no set pattern to grief as I've learnt since losing my Mum & Nan within 6months , so stop the Judgement & let them get on with dealing with the loss of their beautiful daughter

Type 1 diabetes is unfortunately really hard to diagnose in children and most children get diagnosed after a DKA, my son was the same, from the onset of symptoms and him becoming DKA was weeks. He was admitted to the hospital with a blood sugar of 28, ketones of 6.8 and a blood ph of 6.9, we very nearly lost him. It’s the same with many children that get diagnosed with things, so many of the symptoms are common childhood things

GobShyte64 · Aug 31, 2021

Whats the big news they keep talking about that they did at the children's hospital? Hopefully they donated some funds to the wards, or some toys or something for the kids to play with.

LMG · Aug 31, 2021

If my baby died, I wouldn’t give two flying ducks what anyone thought of me and how I was grieving. If I wanted to celebrate my baby’s birthday next to their grave then I would. Yes there are other graves there but they’re not having a party everyday/week and if it helps them then let them be.
They may only have a short period of time where they can decorate the grave and so they’re making the most out of it.

Laurawright · Aug 31, 2021

I watched the interview on Lorraine honestly I feel for them both but Saf really looks like she’s going to break I really hope they have a good support system she’s really not coping at all

Goldfish · Aug 31, 2021

LMG said:
If my baby died, I wouldn’t give two flying ducks what anyone thought of me and how I was grieving. If I wanted to celebrate my baby’s birthday next to their grave then I would. Yes there are other graves there but they’re not having a party everyday/week and if it helps them then let them be.
They may only have a short period of time where they can decorate the grave and so they’re making the most out of it.

Yes it put yourself in the other mourners shoes, how would you feel if you’ve just buried someone or you’re even visiting someone that you lost years ago and that’s happening? There are people that would see that and feel intimidated and uncomfortable, so what they should miss out visiting someone they lost so you can throw a party at a resting site? I don’t see the people who lost family members in 9/11 throwing parties at the memorial, why? Because it morally isn’t right and okay

username123! · Aug 31, 2021

What is the difference between a foundation and a charity?

Generally speaking, charities can be classified into two main forms: public charities and private foundations or trusts. In the UK, a legal definition for a ‘charitable foundation’ does not exist. Although they share many similarities, the key to their distinction lies in the way they gather funds for operational purposes. There’s also a difference in how the two operate. Private foundations tend to hand out grants to individuals who meet some criteria set out by the foundation. Charities, on the other hand, are more likely to act, such as providing cooked meals or entertainment for elderly people. This distinction is not a rule, however, but more of a general tendency. The definitive difference between a foundation and a charity lies in the way they gather funds.

Private foundations often collect their funds from a single key source, for example, a wealthy benefactor. This may be a wealthy family who believes in the cause or a corporation that wants to give something back. As such, the funds of a private foundation are controlled because they are dependent on a main source of income.

Noonoosanne2 · Aug 31, 2021

Polly_Chops said:
I've just watched a clip of the podcast, Ash says he told saf not crumble & be nothing but happy while around the baby...while I think I can see where he coming from with that, when you feel poorly the last thing you want is someone singing in your face, I feel they took that to the extreme. Also saf desperately needs someone to talk to, when she was speaking her conversation didn't flow she was jumping from one memory to the next like there was so much she had to say it came out in a jumble,then she began to get upset & stopped herself. She says the words strength, inspiration, motivate but she doesn't feel that way & it's so sad to see. She's needs to cry & let that grief out because by following his lead or idea of being 'strong' she's suffering more. A little bug bear of mine is when a bereaved person is told to be strong, meaning don't cry, push back, carry on as normal, I think it's stronger to let the grief knock you down then get back up slowly, poor Saf

That’s it they are just words she’s saying because she feels like she has to I actually think she doesn’t enjoy the exercise or bike riding she’s doing at all, do you think she’s not allowed to have counselling or consider medication ?

Hollybush · Aug 31, 2021

Noonoosanne2 said:
That’s it they are just words she’s saying because she feels like she has to I actually think she doesn’t enjoy the exercise or bike riding she’s doing at all, do you think she’s not allowed to have counselling or consider medication ?

She has said she won’t take medication and I bet that’s not her decision.
I get the feeling Ashley is obsessed with staying strong which means Saf will be made to feel she has to follow his lead.
If Saf shows any sign of depression or desire to take medication she will be made to feel weak. I think the best thing for her right now is to knock all the excessive exercise on the head, if she wants to stay in bed and cry all day she can and not be made to feel guilty about it and go and see a counsellor and maybe takes some meds for the anxiety.

Polly_Chops · Aug 31, 2021

Noonoosanne2 said:
That’s it they are just words she’s saying because she feels like she has to I actually think she doesn’t enjoy the exercise or bike riding she’s doing at all, do you think she’s not allowed to have counselling or consider medication ?

Yes, I agree, that exactly what I think. She says them like a mantra but there's no passion, she's just repeating words that are said to her. I imagine she thinks she wouldn't feel this way if she was stronger, if she done a extra mile in her bike, it bothers me when she says 'what would azaylia do' 'she would would want me to do to x,y,z'. Well actually she wouldn't do anything because she is a baby!
I'm not disputing Ash is of course also broken but I feel he is pushing his coping mechanisms onto her or more likely totally absorbed in his own grief so she is copying him to get his attention, she needs someone (him) to say getting professional help isn't being weak.
What is he going do to as part of the foundation, go to other grieving parents & say be strong, ignore your partner & go on a bike ride everyday, it's not something everyday people can do, usually people have real jobs to go to.

Noonoosanne2 · Aug 31, 2021

Polly_Chops said:
Yes, I agree, that exactly what I think. She says them like a mantra but there's no passion, she's just repeating words that are said to her. I imagine she thinks she wouldn't feel this way if she was stronger, if she done a extra mile in her bike, it bothers me when she says 'what would azaylia do' 'she would would want me to do to x,y,z'. Well actually she wouldn't do anything because she is a baby!
I'm not disputing Ash is of course also broken but I feel he is pushing his coping mechanisms onto her or more likely totally absorbed in his own grief so she is copying him to get his attention, she needs someone (him) to say getting professional help isn't being weak.
What is he going do to as part of the foundation, go to other grieving parents & say be strong, ignore your partner & go on a bike ride everyday, it's not something everyday people can do, usually people have real jobs to go to.

Some people are against medication my husband for one his an hole sometimes but I do love him he thinks it’s mind over matter with depression and anxiety his not been there so he can’t really judge I have though and I actually didn’t tell him I was on medication for it which I needed I tried to get through it with affirmations and positive thinking but words and thoughts just aren’t enough
** weren’t enough for me I mean ***

Polly_Chops · Aug 31, 2021

Noonoosanne2 said:
Some people are against medication my husband for one his an hole sometimes but I do love him he thinks it’s mind over matter with depression and anxiety his not been there so he can’t really judge I have though and I actually didn’t tell him I was on medication for it which I needed I tried to get through it with affirmations and positive thinking but words and thoughts just aren’t enough
** weren’t enough for me I mean ***

You are exactly right, some people are against it, I can't personally understand it, I mean if you had a toothache you would take medication so why not for depression & anxiety but each to their own. However that is their decision/choice for them but it's not for them to decide for others, well done on seeking further help for your self, hope your feeling/coping better now.