Ashley Cain

[wri_xo]

Although I don’t agree with people slating them for the way they’re grieving, I will say that I think Saf deserves more, she is so so visibly broken & Ashley seems unbelievably cold towards her. How lovely of him to have had fireworks at the hotel last night knowing full well Saf was still travelling and would miss them? And why travel seperately? His kit was already there on arrival so surely they could’ve of gone down in one car together, it seems as though he wants nothing to do with her and it’s heartbreaking to watch, thankfully her brother appears to be amazing with her but sometimes it’s a different kind of love you crave x

 

[wri_xo]

I just lurk on this thread, as I don’t want to judge 2 parents grief but Ashley is so cold to Saf it’s hard to watch. I don’t think she feels worthy of him, she treats him like a god by trying to constantly fish for his attention, his time and for any affection. That should be given naturally, not by doing 25 mile bike rides and shouting ‘let’s go champ’. He seems like he thinks his grief is more worthy and more painful than Safs. I don’t dislike him, but I dislike how he seems towards Saf. I say seems as I see a snapshot on Instagram ect. She looks so consumed by her grief, and it looks like all she wants is a hug from him! I think he forgets she grew A for 9 months, gave birth and spent time with and now she’s gone.

I definitely get the vibe that he thinks his grief is more important/painful than hers, it certainly looks like he forgets Saf grew A and will have a different sort of yearn for her baby that a man will never understand.

 

[rowdyroddy]

Coming from someone who has several family members with learning difficulties, i don't see anything wrong here. Sometimes they don't understand things, its really not that deep. Can we move on

 

[Poppysmimi]

I don’t understand how they’ve got such a huge plot for azaylia. She was litterally a tiny baby but it’s a full on massive garden she has? Do you pay for the size or have they just made the garden that big themselves?

When my son passed away, I had a few small teddies taken off his grave. I was told they weren’t allowed.

 

[Noonoosanne2]

It’s just so tragic. It’s like she’s doing all these things for Ashley’s approval or love or even attention! She’s a grieving mother yet doing all this manic stuff like the bike rides because that’s what he does. He doesn’t even respect her enough to do them with her. She’s desperate for her partners support but he’s just detached from her for whatever reason. I think it’s horrible & cruel how he leaves flowers for their daughter signed off from your daddy, how must she feel when all she wants is a family unit with him, constantly including him in everything, signing off as mummy & daddy? She needs to focus on herself & start to grieve in her own way, but why he can’t show the tiniest bit of empathy for the mother of his child, is disturbing.

I agree you can see she really isn’t into the bike riding I’m just glad she’s got her brother around as it looks like his her support,

 

[Allmyownopinion]

I don’t understand this either, and all those London trips are so uncomfortable to watch. It’s like let’s show off these £200 trainers this Nike bag my new outfit etc just why Him and his brother posing where is Saf it’s her daughters charity too

He’s said he’s dedicating himself to the charity so will this be his job now? So he’ll take an income from running it? If so, that’s really unfair to Saf, seems he’s pushing her out of having a say or having an active involvement & from what she says she wants to be all over it! So yes she should be at every meeting & named on the board if he is, never mind having a day out to London with your mate & posing on the train, take your partner & stand side by side with her!!!!! Get such bad vibes from him lately; bossy, selfish & yes grief does horrendous things to people but his ego is just out of control, it wasn’t just his little girl & it isn’t just all about him now she’s tragically passed

 

[rowdyroddy]

Not judging their grieving at all and definitely never going to judge saf, I will judge Ashley on the way he shows off his latest Nike trainers his fifa 21 in a limo to London him posing showing off all his designers his ridiculously expensive BMW all the while claiming he’s broke and has the shitiest car on the forecourt he’s a joke.

And again I’m no way taking away the pain hurt devastating loss of Azaylia, but him his sister brother cousins etc make a mockery out of her death and are in it for the fame and likes

But I'm sure Ashley and the rest of the cains would trade all the fame, likes, social media attention,freebies, everything for just one more minute with azaylia... this is what i don't get about this thread. If you don't like or agree with what they do then dont bloody follow them!!

I think judging anyone on how they grieve is quite frankly disgusting. So what if they want to post everything in social media??? It might be their way of coping with their loss and keeping Azaylia alive in some way.

I have a friend who lost her baby and she did the same for years after she lost her son, and she wasn't famous or "fishing for likes" it was just her way of grieving. She wanted people to see her child and for everyone to remember that he existed. To anyone that complained about it her answer was simple- if you dont like it then kindly fuck off!

 

[openbook1]

I think they are devastated about their baby but both complete narcissists who thrive on social media attention. The two can coexist.

 

[Carrington31]

But I'm sure Ashley and the rest of the cains would trade all the fame, likes, social media attention,freebies, everything for just one more minute with azaylia... this is what i don't get about this thread. If you don't like or agree with what they do then dont bloody follow them!!

As with all the threads on Tattle, it’s about airing an opinion. Which I will continue to do. They’ve put themselves in the public domain, whether you like it or not, people will talk and have negative opinions on them.

 

[Heretoread19]

Ashley is allowed to deal with his grief however he wants. In my opinion if focusing on something like his fitness is keeping is mind healthy and helping him then its a good thing. When people lose people they can also go the whole other way. Ive seen people
Turn to drugs and drink and really self destruct. Losing a baby, your child i can image rips your souls apart. Im not sure how i would love my husband if i ever went through that pain. I feel i would be very cold as well and i would be in a world of anger. I would not want love from anyone. I agree saf is dealing with it different but the thing is grief is a solo journey. Im glad she has other family around her and that he does too. I think they are both finding ways to live through each day and it must be agony

Sorry but until you have lost a child you can never understand what it's like.
I have a 3 year old son and lost my second child last December. I sent my son to nursery and would sit on the sofa numbly watching tv. I didn't start to feel anything until 6 months later (even with counselling). I literally had no feelings.
We had no choice but to get up but there were definitely days I could have stayed in bed.
They need to be able to relax and take time for themselves. Believe me, I know it's hard but you can't heal if you don't.
They also need therapy or counselling. Otherwise they will never work through it.

 

[Walnutss]

I hate all the let's go champ and your so strong your going to fight this and beat it rhetoric around cancer. That cancer is bigger and more aggressive than us all.
No one loses when they die they are no longer in pain and finally at peace.
No amount of motivational speeches and videos from the rock will save you that was purely for Ashley only.

We have all been touched by cancer we are all aware of cancer and I didn't need to see a baby dying to know how shit it is. It wasn't about awareness or documenting.

Everytime I feel sorry for either of them I remember that poor babies face.

 

[noseynopinions]

The "Let's go Champ!" is soooo jarring omg

 

[kcab0231]

He will crash and burn shortly. He can only push himself so much. The mind will make you stop if you don’t pay attention to it. He’s not working off his grief, he’s just tiring his mind and body out so he doesn’t have to think. They both need proper counselling and time away from social media.

This…

I know it is not the same at all but when my husband died I was a young widow at only 24 and didn’t know what to do so focused on other things, started a new career and went back to Uni,
Eventually the grief caught up with me and I had a breakdown, I feel that if I had tried to allow myself to grieve earlier in my journey I would not have been as unwell as I was by the time it caught up with me.

I hope they both get the help and support they need!

 

[chocdip]

The amount of IG accounts on her live with azalyias name and photos. It’s weird and there’s one called Azalyia Edits wtf

Very weird! I noticed on Ashley’s story earlier he mentioned “We” when talking about his brother and him but then said my daughter when talking about Azaylia no mention of our daughter or Saf it’s all him it’s actually becoming more painful to watch Saf become non existent in his life

 

[Basicbasic]

What exactly had the foundation got to do with sports massages? Ridiculous. Who is advising them?

The most sensible thing would be to use the over £1million they've got sat in the gofundme. Show us where it's going, start a project, find a family desperately in need and start donating. You've got plenty there to make a difference. Why start collecting more before even spending a penny of the huge amount you've got? Ashley seems obsessed with the attention and making himself feel better via exercise. But I don't think they should keep begging for more money from donors just yet.

 

[BelfastCc]

They made it our business when we all donated and watched a poor baby loose her soul online. What other poor child has been exploited online in their last moments? It’s inhumane.

 

[QuirkyFlamingo]

Part of the concern we’ve raised here too, has been for other people who the Cains’ behaviour is impacting on. Music and parties in the cemetery being the main example - it’s downright disrespectful and inappropriate. By all means, party together and celebrate that little girl’s life, but do it elsewhere, where other families aren’t trying to grieve their own losses.

 

[Basicbasic]

There really should be rules about behaviour in cemeteries. Like hospitals. Often cemeteries are full of distraught family members visiting the graves of people they loved and lost. You wouldn't have a big firework party in the hospital, and it's completely inappropriate in a cemetery. Nothing wrong with marking someone's birthday, but visit the grave with consideration for others who will probably not be there to see music, dancing, balloons and beer, and have the party at home or at a pub. The graveside decorations and requests for freebies to mark important days like birthdays are so ott now. Where will it all end?

 

[username123!]

Saf did start working again a couple of weeks ago. She opened her books on social media. The hotel doesn’t look too posh if I’m honest for London it looks pretty standard and probably didn’t cost that much. I think they’re probably living on the last they’ve got from selling things - her sliders might be fakes Not saying I agree with everything they do but social media is deceiving as to someone’s lifestyle

 

[Olivemaks]

The last pic Ashley posted and they’re on that orange sofa says a lot. I feel like he has a kind of resentment towards Saffiya. He’s not even got an arm around her. Never seen comforting her either. Like yesterday night. Backvfaced to her whilst on the bed. It’s just off to me the way they interact. I have a feeling he snaps at her too sometimes.. I understand everyone deals with losses differently but on this case where it’s so public at least hold your partner. He looks uninterested in her