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I'm not sure. I'm with an amazing man snd have a lovely home. But my job is coming to an end soon and I have NO idea what I want to do. The jobs I like the look of are around the 18k mark, which would be a drop for me. Doesn't even look like there would be career progression. That won't pay for the hair and botox!
I'm turning 40 soon and panicking about what I haven't done. I have no career as such, not seen much of the world and now taking a big pay drop, if I do get a perm job.
So in retrospect, no i don't think I am happy. I am stressed hence the insomnia.
I'm turning 40 soon and panicking about what I haven't done. I have no career as such, not seen much of the world and now taking a big pay drop, if I do get a perm job.
So in retrospect, no i don't think I am happy. I am stressed hence the insomnia.
Whenever I'm asked this question I find myself wondering what happiness is, what it feels like. If I was truly happy would I just 'know' somehow? Or will I forever be searching for this feeling that doesn't exist?
Maybe I'm just someone who feels sadness and emptiness, in the way others seem to feel happiness and fulfilment. I am generally quite negative, I am fearful when things seem to be going okay because I'm waiting for something to go wrong. I have depression and anxiety but I'm never quite sure where they end and I begin, so many of the things listed as symptoms are things I've always thought are just me.
Then there's the guilt - guilt that there will be people who are experiencing much more difficult things than I ever have, so how can I be unhappy?
What a thought-provoking thread!
Maybe I'm just someone who feels sadness and emptiness, in the way others seem to feel happiness and fulfilment. I am generally quite negative, I am fearful when things seem to be going okay because I'm waiting for something to go wrong. I have depression and anxiety but I'm never quite sure where they end and I begin, so many of the things listed as symptoms are things I've always thought are just me.
Then there's the guilt - guilt that there will be people who are experiencing much more difficult things than I ever have, so how can I be unhappy?
What a thought-provoking thread!
I think that I am happy in the bigger sense of the word, I have a roof over my head, food on the table, a great partner, and beautiful daughter and I'm pregnant with a baby boy. We all have our health, my daughter is a happy child, the baby is growing perfectly. I have everything I ever wanted in life.
But its the small things that really get me down and I focus on them and can't seem to shake it. For instance my house is tiny, shabby and really needs an update in all areas. But we just don't have the money, ideally I'd like to move somewhere bigger but money is a problem again. I'm grateful to own the home we have, but feel stuck here. I suppose that is very superficial and shouldn't really affect my happiness, and maybe its not my overall happiness it affects but definitely my mood.
I also compre my life to others constantly which again becomes something I tend to fixate on. I allways feel like everyone I know is more of an adult than me, doing better at life, better careers, more money, happier realtionship. But I suppose thats only the best bits of people lives that they share. Even knowing this is still fixate on the fact that on social media it looks like other people have better loves than me? Stupid and superficial I know.
But its the small things that really get me down and I focus on them and can't seem to shake it. For instance my house is tiny, shabby and really needs an update in all areas. But we just don't have the money, ideally I'd like to move somewhere bigger but money is a problem again. I'm grateful to own the home we have, but feel stuck here. I suppose that is very superficial and shouldn't really affect my happiness, and maybe its not my overall happiness it affects but definitely my mood.
I also compre my life to others constantly which again becomes something I tend to fixate on. I allways feel like everyone I know is more of an adult than me, doing better at life, better careers, more money, happier realtionship. But I suppose thats only the best bits of people lives that they share. Even knowing this is still fixate on the fact that on social media it looks like other people have better loves than me? Stupid and superficial I know.
No. Which I feel awful saying because I have a beautiful baby boy who makes me burst with happiness but overall, no im not happy. I dont think I ever have been. I've been happy and some days I dont feel so sad, but most of the time I'm unhappy. I've got a lot of demons that make me that way I guess
I’m contented but there’s room for growth. I would like to adopt a child with a partner some day. That’s my idea of happiness.
I was originally tempted to say no when I first opened the thread. I’m depressed, broke and single. I have no achievements, and there is nothing stable in my life. I know what would make me happy, I even know the steps I need to take in order to get there, but it takes time and just can’t happen overnight. Sometimes I lose motivation and am debilitated by self-doubt.
That being said, I’m currently sat on the porch with a cup of coffee enjoying a rainy morning, I don’t have to work today, and it’s summer. It’s these little things that make me feel like it’s not over yet. I don’t know whether it’s happiness or not, but it’s something I look forward when I’m down.
I like this thread, very thought-provoking. I’m so excited for all of you who said they‘re happy
(and sending love and virtual hugs to those who need them right now).
That being said, I’m currently sat on the porch with a cup of coffee enjoying a rainy morning, I don’t have to work today, and it’s summer. It’s these little things that make me feel like it’s not over yet. I don’t know whether it’s happiness or not, but it’s something I look forward when I’m down.
I like this thread, very thought-provoking. I’m so excited for all of you who said they‘re happy
(and sending love and virtual hugs to those who need them right now).
I think I am extremely burnt out and have lost faith in people and also lost the burning passion I used to have for my career just two or so years ago. I have chronic social anxiety and depression plus BPD so I don't know if I should or could even expect complete happiness, whatever that means. I want to be able to have more moments of happiness though, without depending too much on other people.
Gosh I'm so sorry so many of you are feeling rubbish.
I guess happiness is immeasurable. One person's happiness is not the same as another's
For example, I don't have/won't have kids. I am ok with it (but no, it's not what I expected), but some wouldn't be able to settle for that.
Overall for me; I am married to my best friend, who I nearly lost twice to cancer (the doctor's didn't expect him to live), I live comfortably in a nice house, have a job I enjoy and am very good at.
ETA; I wound love more money, more time off, not to have to think about accessible options all the time. But we do and that's that.
I guess happiness is immeasurable. One person's happiness is not the same as another's
For example, I don't have/won't have kids. I am ok with it (but no, it's not what I expected), but some wouldn't be able to settle for that.
Overall for me; I am married to my best friend, who I nearly lost twice to cancer (the doctor's didn't expect him to live), I live comfortably in a nice house, have a job I enjoy and am very good at.
ETA; I wound love more money, more time off, not to have to think about accessible options all the time. But we do and that's that.
I'm not happy and I'm not sad. I just trundle along.
Yes and No, just landed my dream job and waiting for the start date so I’m so happy about that but my husband is sulking as it means I will be late home during the week especially if I go to the gym after work so he’s making me feel guilty about it
I am now. It takes deep unhappiness I think to find true happiness.
I suffered with a condition called pmdd- linked to cycles and hormones. And it’s almost taken me out a few times. Then I had surgery.
Little things like sunrise and sunset, nature, my kids, kids I don’t know being all cute like mine used to be, small acts of kindness. Remembering that everyday may not be good, but there is something good to be found in every day, you sometimes just need to change where you look.
sending love to everyone in a dark place, I’ve sat where you are before, it can get better
🩹
I suffered with a condition called pmdd- linked to cycles and hormones. And it’s almost taken me out a few times. Then I had surgery.
Little things like sunrise and sunset, nature, my kids, kids I don’t know being all cute like mine used to be, small acts of kindness. Remembering that everyday may not be good, but there is something good to be found in every day, you sometimes just need to change where you look.
sending love to everyone in a dark place, I’ve sat where you are before, it can get better
🩹
Mostly yes. My husband has a good albeit demanding job, we have 2 healthy girls, a home and money to pay bills plus a bit extra to save. I don’t have a good career and work part time in retail (under 10k a year) so if my husband were to lose his job we would be screwed, so I have anxieties over hypothetical things like this. Things like covid restrictions never ending get me down too and can make me feel a bit ‘what’s the point’. I wish I had a better relationship with my mum too, when she visits we can’t seem to go a few hours before the arguing starts, we are so different but it’s just the way it is.
I think I'm more pissed off than unhappy.
I find live with kids and pets is like every one can't be happy all the time.
I am fortunate that I have what I need. In modern times it does seem like no one is satisfied. I try to appreciate what I have rather than want more. I do think people try to achieve ' destination happiness ' these days.
I find live with kids and pets is like every one can't be happy all the time.
I am fortunate that I have what I need. In modern times it does seem like no one is satisfied. I try to appreciate what I have rather than want more. I do think people try to achieve ' destination happiness ' these days.
I think Lana Del Ray sums it up for me well:
"Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not
But, at best, I can say I'm not sad
'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have "
At the moment I'm honestly just struggling and I'm tired of the constant heaviness of my depression which I've had since I was 14. I just go from one suicidal crisis to another. I didn't think I would live beyond 26 (I'm almost 30 now). I've spent years and ££££ on therapy but I can't really say it was worth it to be honest.
I know I have a lot to be grateful for but I can't feel it.
"Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not
But, at best, I can say I'm not sad
'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have "
At the moment I'm honestly just struggling and I'm tired of the constant heaviness of my depression which I've had since I was 14. I just go from one suicidal crisis to another. I didn't think I would live beyond 26 (I'm almost 30 now). I've spent years and ££££ on therapy but I can't really say it was worth it to be honest.
I know I have a lot to be grateful for but I can't feel it.
I always think people back then were happier because although they worked harder their work had purpose.
I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit recently. Because I think right now I’m the happiest and most content I’ve ever been.
I’ve got a wonderful husband and 2 awesome kids. Husbands job means there’s plenty of money for the bills and anything else we want. I’ve got a part time job that I absolutely love doing, it’s not a chore to go to work. Kids have never (so far touch wood) given us any bother or worry, they’ve got great friends and are doing so well at school. Our home isn’t huge but we will own it outright in about 18 months time.
I’m so grateful that having struggled with depression in the past for the first time in a long time I can’t see it sitting on the sidelines' waiting to come at me again. My best friend is struggling hugely with her mental health and I’m pleased I can give her as much support as possible because my own mental health is clear and I’m free to concentrate on her, if that makes sense?
I really hope this didn’t come across as braggy, but honestly I’m so flipping happy right now, it’s nice to be able to come out and say it!
I’ve got a wonderful husband and 2 awesome kids. Husbands job means there’s plenty of money for the bills and anything else we want. I’ve got a part time job that I absolutely love doing, it’s not a chore to go to work. Kids have never (so far touch wood) given us any bother or worry, they’ve got great friends and are doing so well at school. Our home isn’t huge but we will own it outright in about 18 months time.
I’m so grateful that having struggled with depression in the past for the first time in a long time I can’t see it sitting on the sidelines' waiting to come at me again. My best friend is struggling hugely with her mental health and I’m pleased I can give her as much support as possible because my own mental health is clear and I’m free to concentrate on her, if that makes sense?
I really hope this didn’t come across as braggy, but honestly I’m so flipping happy right now, it’s nice to be able to come out and say it!
I've sat here for ages trying to describe whether I'm happy or not, it's tough to put into words. I have days where I feel happy, I laugh, have fun and feel good but there's always things in the back of my mind which drag me down. I feel selfish saying that I'm miserable, because I have a loving partner, a nice home, a stable job, family etc, there's people far worse off than me so I feel like I don't deserve to say it, but I cry more than I'd like to admit. I have a lot going on at the moment which contributes to being sad, but those are all things which I know will get better. Deep down I'm not happy in myself, I have no confidence, I hate the way I look and sometimes I hate the person that I am. These are things I can't easily change, but I feel like I'd be far happier if I could.
This thread really has me thinking. Hugs to everyone who has posted 
I hope there is a glimmer of happiness in everyones day. Baby steps x
I hope there is a glimmer of happiness in everyones day. Baby steps x
I'm so grateful that everyone took the time out to respond. It's so lovely to hear about those who are happy and content, and my heart goes out to those who are struggling as I am. I had a lot to think about when I first posed the question but I have much more to ponder now, and it's a wonderful thing because I feel a community spirit and lack of stigma in everyone's responses. It feels like a warm hug, seeing everyone support one another.
I could have written this, particularly how much I hate myself and my personality. The only difference is that my friends do seem to judge me rather harshly. And it's easy for people to say drop your friends, except I've lost my closest friends to cancer and covid, and the ones that remain are not the best, but I'm trying to be patient and hoping this is just pandemic fatigue causing them to be mean. Time will tell if I drop them all and end up entirely alone.
I third that sentiment. I really hope I can get to feel some true happiness and stability at some point in the future. It seems impossible from where I am now.
This resonates with me. I usually try to remember that people have it harder, so I really shouldn't feel sorry for myself. Yet, the reality is, my life has been so turbulent and I can't ever seem to find stability...happiness feels like a pipe dream.
Might I ask what those steps would be? I am hoping that the discussion will inspire me to figure out what steps I may take. Though each person's journey is different, just the conversation may spark something in those of us who are feeling a bit lost. Of course, you are free to ignore the question if it is too personal.
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