I think the emptiness is a symptom of modern life. In our grandparents and even parents generations they didn’t have the same opportunities we have now, things were generally harder and they probably didn’t have as much time as we do now to ponder the meaning of it all. I’m sure if I was in the 1950s I’d be too busy with kids and cooking/cleaning to wonder if I was truly happy. Sometimes having a easier life can actually make it seem less fulfilling in a way…
- Notice
LittleMy
VIP Member
No.
I have happy times, sure, and there are people in my life worth living for that I love, who keep me busy and make my days full (my children, my husband, our pets) but deep down I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy. I didn’t ask to be born and if given a say in the matter I would hand on my heart say “no thanks.”
I have always felt different to other people around me, like I never quite fit in. I am not an ambitious person and have never really known what to do with my life, I’m just winging it whereas most people around my age have had the drive to better themselves and done well career wise. They all seem to have their shit together compared to me. I have mental health issues stemming from childhood and they have held me back in life. I feel disconnected from everyone outwith my little bubble and struggle to make friends due to crippling social anxiety and my introvert nature. I’ve always found life hard.
I have happy times, sure, and there are people in my life worth living for that I love, who keep me busy and make my days full (my children, my husband, our pets) but deep down I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy. I didn’t ask to be born and if given a say in the matter I would hand on my heart say “no thanks.”
I have always felt different to other people around me, like I never quite fit in. I am not an ambitious person and have never really known what to do with my life, I’m just winging it whereas most people around my age have had the drive to better themselves and done well career wise. They all seem to have their shit together compared to me. I have mental health issues stemming from childhood and they have held me back in life. I feel disconnected from everyone outwith my little bubble and struggle to make friends due to crippling social anxiety and my introvert nature. I’ve always found life hard.
jawidjanqndn
VIP Member
couldnt be further from it. currently sat in bed crying because of how alone i am. debating whether to get put back on my anti depressants because i don’t have the strength to pull myself out of a dark place again. sorry to be an absolute misery on here 
being happy in life is something that keeps me here. i want to feel happy and content so badly one day.
being happy in life is something that keeps me here. i want to feel happy and content so badly one day.
bexgreen1983
VIP Member
At the min absolutely not. I have two beautiful daughters but my goodness one is such hard work. I’m married but most evenings are spent on my own as other half falls asleep. I often feel like I’m taken for granted and only focusing on what I don’t do rather then everything I do! How can someone be married but yet feel so utterly lonely.
nyMreb-5fattu-hedgob
Well-known member
I was just thinking last night about when I was truly last happy and I honestly can’t remember the time.
I’ve got a lovely life and everything that *should* make me happy but some days I’m so desperately sad I could cry and I’ve got no idea why.
I’ve got a lovely life and everything that *should* make me happy but some days I’m so desperately sad I could cry and I’ve got no idea why.
I'd love to hear from those who are and those who aren't. Is your life as you would want it to be at this stage? What makes you feel secure and happy? What are you trying to change to make yourself happier?
I'm not talking about superficial happiness, nor the other extreme of toxic positivity. I'm talking about those 'ahhh' moments where you feel safe and simply happy when you look around at the life you are living.
I was just thinking that my life has been so messy for the past few years (illness and surgeries galore) and I honestly cannot remember the last time I was really stable and truly happy. I'm trying to remember what that feels like, and how to build my life back up from scratch, and thought this might be a fun topic to discuss as I love seeing other people's happiness and hearing about their journeys.
Tangentially, I saw a woman walking her dog today and she was playing with it- she seemed so deeply happy in that moment that it uplifted me.
I'm not talking about superficial happiness, nor the other extreme of toxic positivity. I'm talking about those 'ahhh' moments where you feel safe and simply happy when you look around at the life you are living.
I was just thinking that my life has been so messy for the past few years (illness and surgeries galore) and I honestly cannot remember the last time I was really stable and truly happy. I'm trying to remember what that feels like, and how to build my life back up from scratch, and thought this might be a fun topic to discuss as I love seeing other people's happiness and hearing about their journeys.
Tangentially, I saw a woman walking her dog today and she was playing with it- she seemed so deeply happy in that moment that it uplifted me.
Raymond Luxury-Yacht
VIP Member
I was originally tempted to say no when I first opened the thread. I’m depressed, broke and single. I have no achievements, and there is nothing stable in my life. I know what would make me happy, I even know the steps I need to take in order to get there, but it takes time and just can’t happen overnight. Sometimes I lose motivation and am debilitated by self-doubt.
That being said, I’m currently sat on the porch with a cup of coffee enjoying a rainy morning, I don’t have to work today, and it’s summer. It’s these little things that make me feel like it’s not over yet. I don’t know whether it’s happiness or not, but it’s something I look forward when I’m down.
I like this thread, very thought-provoking. I’m so excited for all of you who said they‘re happy
(and sending love and virtual hugs to those who need them right now).
That being said, I’m currently sat on the porch with a cup of coffee enjoying a rainy morning, I don’t have to work today, and it’s summer. It’s these little things that make me feel like it’s not over yet. I don’t know whether it’s happiness or not, but it’s something I look forward when I’m down.
I like this thread, very thought-provoking. I’m so excited for all of you who said they‘re happy
(and sending love and virtual hugs to those who need them right now).Whenever I'm asked this question I find myself wondering what happiness is, what it feels like. If I was truly happy would I just 'know' somehow? Or will I forever be searching for this feeling that doesn't exist?
Maybe I'm just someone who feels sadness and emptiness, in the way others seem to feel happiness and fulfilment. I am generally quite negative, I am fearful when things seem to be going okay because I'm waiting for something to go wrong. I have depression and anxiety but I'm never quite sure where they end and I begin, so many of the things listed as symptoms are things I've always thought are just me.
Then there's the guilt - guilt that there will be people who are experiencing much more difficult things than I ever have, so how can I be unhappy?
What a thought-provoking thread!
Maybe I'm just someone who feels sadness and emptiness, in the way others seem to feel happiness and fulfilment. I am generally quite negative, I am fearful when things seem to be going okay because I'm waiting for something to go wrong. I have depression and anxiety but I'm never quite sure where they end and I begin, so many of the things listed as symptoms are things I've always thought are just me.
Then there's the guilt - guilt that there will be people who are experiencing much more difficult things than I ever have, so how can I be unhappy?
What a thought-provoking thread!
LadyTonya
Active member
I am truly happy in my own life; i have worked hard to be content in my career and I know i am doing well and working in the right area. It took me a long time to figure it out but i have the view that all the shit jobs and struggles formed who i am today and why i enjoy my career so much now.
I love my children and take great pride in them and all they do. Dont get me wrong i am “normal” and they drive me bloody insane at times but i adore them and love the connection we have. I love spending time with them and seeing the world through their eyes.
Life is short and i spent many years trying desperately to figure it all out and searching for happiness. Now i take the tough days on the chin, try to see what good i can, and be kind to myself if it ain’t a great day. Its only a day. Onwards and upwards.
where I struggle is my marriage and i can understand your loneliness @bexgreen1983, i am married but very lonely and in hindsight i made a poor decision but for many reasons i cant leave. I just try to find happiness in as many other places i can, children, friends, work & nature. I feel somewhat sad reading back what i have written and if i was speaking with someone in a lonely marriage i would wish they would leave and fulfill their lives but its life isn’t it. Sometimes its not easy.
I love my children and take great pride in them and all they do. Dont get me wrong i am “normal” and they drive me bloody insane at times
but i adore them and love the connection we have. I love spending time with them and seeing the world through their eyes. Life is short and i spent many years trying desperately to figure it all out and searching for happiness. Now i take the tough days on the chin, try to see what good i can, and be kind to myself if it ain’t a great day. Its only a day. Onwards and upwards.
where I struggle is my marriage and i can understand your loneliness @bexgreen1983, i am married but very lonely and in hindsight i made a poor decision but for many reasons i cant leave. I just try to find happiness in as many other places i can, children, friends, work & nature. I feel somewhat sad reading back what i have written and if i was speaking with someone in a lonely marriage i would wish they would leave and fulfill their lives but its life isn’t it. Sometimes its not easy.
Bitofthebubbly
VIP Member
No I’m not happy. I should be really because my life isn’t THAT bad. I’m lucky to have a lovely (most of the time
) long term partner and 2 kids. We have a roof over our heads even if it isn’t technically ‘ours’ and enough money for everything we need even if it is a struggle some months.
I’m gonna sound petulant now but fuck it. I find life to be a bit of a slog 95% of the time, I have no zest for life. I dont want to waffle on because I’d be here all night but ugh I wish I never existed sometimes.
On the subject of money, I think it would probably make me happier. I don’t think it would fix all my problems but we could clear all our debt and that would help a lot. We could buy ourselves a home which is something we desperately want but is painfully out of reach, having a place that is ours that we got to pick because we love it, not just because it’s the only decent rental in the area would definitely make me happier. I could also get therapy for my poor mental health and finally figure out what the fuck is wrong with me to make me hate life so much, I could get some help regarding my weight and fitness, because I lack the motivation to do it in my own but can’t afford a gym membership or PT. It’s hard to imagine how I wouldn’t be happier with more money to be honest. It’s not about buying lots of ‘stuff’ but it would be nice to not have to worry about ensuring we keep enough in the bank for the food shopping every week and then having stress when an unexpected cost comes up. Being able to just go on a day trip without having to plan in advance and work out if we can afford it this month or If we have to wait until next. A lot of my stress essentially boils down to money and how often I am required to spend it to simply survive when I’d rather save it or put it towards something in life that actually brings joy, or when I want to do something fun for the kids but can’t afford it.
) long term partner and 2 kids. We have a roof over our heads even if it isn’t technically ‘ours’ and enough money for everything we need even if it is a struggle some months.I’m gonna sound petulant now but fuck it. I find life to be a bit of a slog 95% of the time, I have no zest for life. I dont want to waffle on because I’d be here all night but ugh I wish I never existed sometimes.
On the subject of money, I think it would probably make me happier. I don’t think it would fix all my problems but we could clear all our debt and that would help a lot. We could buy ourselves a home which is something we desperately want but is painfully out of reach, having a place that is ours that we got to pick because we love it, not just because it’s the only decent rental in the area would definitely make me happier. I could also get therapy for my poor mental health and finally figure out what the fuck is wrong with me to make me hate life so much, I could get some help regarding my weight and fitness, because I lack the motivation to do it in my own but can’t afford a gym membership or PT. It’s hard to imagine how I wouldn’t be happier with more money to be honest. It’s not about buying lots of ‘stuff’ but it would be nice to not have to worry about ensuring we keep enough in the bank for the food shopping every week and then having stress when an unexpected cost comes up. Being able to just go on a day trip without having to plan in advance and work out if we can afford it this month or If we have to wait until next. A lot of my stress essentially boils down to money and how often I am required to spend it to simply survive when I’d rather save it or put it towards something in life that actually brings joy, or when I want to do something fun for the kids but can’t afford it.
I am in a superficial sense, I have times when I feel so truly grateful for where I am in life and all the things that have lead me to where I am. Then on the other hand I feel very low about the future, I sometimes think “what’s the point” and have felt many times this year like my life is basically over. I can’t put my finger on why. I’m happy in this moment but ultimately my life does feel quite empty. Maybe I need a pet!
turkeydinosaurs
Active member
Nope. I find life hard. Family health issues, money, comparing myself to my friends (my issue completely, they don’t judge me etc), not being successful in my work life. I genuinely hate my personality.
Sweatingbullets
Chatty Member
Having read through this thread it’s amazing how many people have said no. You always think you’re the only one and completely alone, yet if you put us all together, we’d probably create a new town!
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been happy and I can honestly say it’s because it’s the one thing I was never taught how to be. My parents were always unhappy and had pretty sad lives and I remember feeling blue from a very young age. The only time I saw true happiness was on TV. Even with some fantastic experiences in my life, I always assumed it wouldn’t last or I’d pay for it later with something bad. Happiness to me now is an alien concept. I neither feel truly happy or truly sad, I kind of feel nothing. Can anyone else relate?
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been happy and I can honestly say it’s because it’s the one thing I was never taught how to be. My parents were always unhappy and had pretty sad lives and I remember feeling blue from a very young age. The only time I saw true happiness was on TV. Even with some fantastic experiences in my life, I always assumed it wouldn’t last or I’d pay for it later with something bad. Happiness to me now is an alien concept. I neither feel truly happy or truly sad, I kind of feel nothing. Can anyone else relate?
Ineedmorecoffee
Chatty Member
I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit recently. Because I think right now I’m the happiest and most content I’ve ever been.
I’ve got a wonderful husband and 2 awesome kids. Husbands job means there’s plenty of money for the bills and anything else we want. I’ve got a part time job that I absolutely love doing, it’s not a chore to go to work. Kids have never (so far touch wood) given us any bother or worry, they’ve got great friends and are doing so well at school. Our home isn’t huge but we will own it outright in about 18 months time.
I’m so grateful that having struggled with depression in the past for the first time in a long time I can’t see it sitting on the sidelines' waiting to come at me again. My best friend is struggling hugely with her mental health and I’m pleased I can give her as much support as possible because my own mental health is clear and I’m free to concentrate on her, if that makes sense?
I really hope this didn’t come across as braggy, but honestly I’m so flipping happy right now, it’s nice to be able to come out and say it!
I’ve got a wonderful husband and 2 awesome kids. Husbands job means there’s plenty of money for the bills and anything else we want. I’ve got a part time job that I absolutely love doing, it’s not a chore to go to work. Kids have never (so far touch wood) given us any bother or worry, they’ve got great friends and are doing so well at school. Our home isn’t huge but we will own it outright in about 18 months time.
I’m so grateful that having struggled with depression in the past for the first time in a long time I can’t see it sitting on the sidelines' waiting to come at me again. My best friend is struggling hugely with her mental health and I’m pleased I can give her as much support as possible because my own mental health is clear and I’m free to concentrate on her, if that makes sense?
I really hope this didn’t come across as braggy, but honestly I’m so flipping happy right now, it’s nice to be able to come out and say it!
I would say I haven't been in a long time, at the beginning of lockdown I was very happy, my bf had just moved in, I was furloughed pretty early on and loved being paid for nothing! However, after time my health anxiety became worse and worse, seeing ambulances everywhere etc, and said bf just said I was being ridiculous. My bf then broke up with me unexpectedly earlier this year and has now blocked me from everywhere so I cannot contact him. We had discussed getting married, having children etc, I am 35 this year and it is now highly unlikely I will be able to have children as I cannot even envision another relationship for years. To top it off, I (before lockdown) had a job I liked, it was badly paid but easy, so I was fine with it. Unfortunately my role was made redundant so I have been moved to another job within the same company, it is worse paid than my previous job and I know I will hate the role (which I begin next week, and my employer is not letting anyone wfh, despite it being easy to do so). However, I am going on anti depressents so hopefully I will feel better soon.
Sorry for the long rant, I just feel like my friends do't really want to keep hearing it
Sorry for the long rant, I just feel like my friends do't really want to keep hearing it
jackolantern
VIP Member
I'm not unhappy, but I'm not happy, y'know? I just 'exist'. There are good moments and very terrible moments and honestly, the bad moments do make up the majority, but I can still acknowledge and appreciate all the good I have. It just gets very clouded by the bad. But I do think for the most part, this is the human condition. It's not really a case of what I 'don't have', more things I do that I would like less of i.e. stress and severe anxiety. I'm not really on the wavelength of I would be happy once I had A,B or C, more just, if I could have a bit less of those things, the cloud would lift some and I could enjoy more of the things I already have.
Does this make sense? lol.
Does this make sense? lol.
watermelon sugar
VIP Member
No. Which I feel awful saying because I have a beautiful baby boy who makes me burst with happiness but overall, no im not happy. I dont think I ever have been. I've been happy and some days I dont feel so sad, but most of the time I'm unhappy. I've got a lot of demons that make me that way I guess
Hugs to everyone that is going through a tough time.
I’m not very happy either, my marriage isn’t great, my house has so many things wrong with it I don’t even know where to start.
My kids are disabled I’m constantly having to fight for what they need. I can’t bare to think about what will happen to them when we’re gone.
But then I feel bad, im fortunate to have my health and a roof over my head. Things could be so much worse.
I’m not very happy either, my marriage isn’t great, my house has so many things wrong with it I don’t even know where to start.
My kids are disabled I’m constantly having to fight for what they need. I can’t bare to think about what will happen to them when we’re gone.But then I feel bad, im fortunate to have my health and a roof over my head. Things could be so much worse.
Dwightschrute
VIP Member
I would say I’m not happy.
Everything in my life on paper is great. I have an amazing boyfriend, we live together in our lovely home. I have a good job that pays really well. Great friends and social life.
However last September my mum died. She was 53 and I was 26 when it happened. We were as close as can be. Ever since then I haven’t been happy and I really cannot see myself every being truly happy again. Even when good things happen in my life, it’s like I just don’t care anymore without her here. I hope one day that will change but for now I just feel sad all the time.
Everything in my life on paper is great. I have an amazing boyfriend, we live together in our lovely home. I have a good job that pays really well. Great friends and social life.
However last September my mum died. She was 53 and I was 26 when it happened. We were as close as can be. Ever since then I haven’t been happy and I really cannot see myself every being truly happy again. Even when good things happen in my life, it’s like I just don’t care anymore without her here. I hope one day that will change but for now I just feel sad all the time.