Are you happy?

[2xblended]

I'd love to hear from those who are and those who aren't. Is your life as you would want it to be at this stage? What makes you feel secure and happy? What are you trying to change to make yourself happier?
I'm not talking about superficial happiness, nor the other extreme of toxic positivity. I'm talking about those 'ahhh' moments where you feel safe and simply happy when you look around at the life you are living.
I was just thinking that my life has been so messy for the past few years (illness and surgeries galore) and I honestly cannot remember the last time I was really stable and truly happy. I'm trying to remember what that feels like, and how to build my life back up from scratch, and thought this might be a fun topic to discuss as I love seeing other people's happiness and hearing about their journeys.
Tangentially, I saw a woman walking her dog today and she was playing with it- she seemed so deeply happy in that moment that it uplifted me.

 

[Pixipoppy]

I am in a superficial sense, I have times when I feel so truly grateful for where I am in life and all the things that have lead me to where I am. Then on the other hand I feel very low about the future, I sometimes think “what’s the point” and have felt many times this year like my life is basically over. I can’t put my finger on why. I’m happy in this moment but ultimately my life does feel quite empty. Maybe I need a pet!

 

[Spicy_bananas]

Hey great question! I feel like it's hard sometime to not consider superficial happiness when evaluating said happiness but when looking at my life atm I would have to say that I'm happy.
My husband and I are currently having our house built in France, more specifically at the foot of the Alps, and never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my life being where it is. Of course a construction comes with it's lot of problems and delays but I try everyday to step back from those inconveniences and appreciate the fact that we are able to do that project. That even if it's long and we won't move until late next year, we will eventually move. So that makes me happy!

However, like @Pixipoppy just said sometimes I look at myself and my place in the world and I feel like is there a point to all of this? Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my life away waiting for the next step or the next phase in my life, basically putting my life on hold. I always have to remind myself that life is the journey not the destination but I find it very difficult to implement it in my day to day and I'm left feeling kinda empty...

 

[Pixipoppy]

I think the emptiness is a symptom of modern life. In our grandparents and even parents generations they didn’t have the same opportunities we have now, things were generally harder and they probably didn’t have as much time as we do now to ponder the meaning of it all. I’m sure if I was in the 1950s I’d be too busy with kids and cooking/cleaning to wonder if I was truly happy. Sometimes having a easier life can actually make it seem less fulfilling in a way…

 

[slugella]

I would say yes. I am prone to worrying and overthinking, work for an NGO and am very involved in environmental volunteering which is mentally pretty tough so these things can affect my mood a lot.

However I have started living for me and it is so freeing and has made me much happier overall. For example, I know I don't want children or marriage, am in a happy relationship but also enjoy my independence, enjoy moving around to experience new cities so am happy renting - people always would question this and make it seem odd but I honestly don't care now.

Keeping a gratitude journal also helps me as there are so many little things to be grateful for and they can be easy to miss sometimes.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Definitely not, but im in that knowing stage of this struggle being a means to an end.

 

[Mamacita]

Sometimes I feel like I am, sometimes I feel I'm not. Not sure if anyone is always truly happy, I'm just trying to accept that sometimes in life I'll feel sad or stressed or annoyed and that doesn't mean my life is tit, it's just a normal part of life I guess.

 

[nyMreb-5fattu-hedgob]

I was just thinking last night about when I was truly last happy and I honestly can’t remember the time.
I’ve got a lovely life and everything that *should* make me happy but some days I’m so desperately sad I could cry and I’ve got no idea why.

 

[Shoequeen91]

I’m a lot happier than I was six months ago so I’ll take it as a win. I have my health and I’m thankful for that

 

[Homebird44]

I was just thinking last night about when I was truly last happy and I honestly can’t remember the time.
I’ve got a lovely life and everything that *should* make me happy but some days I’m so desperately sad I could cry and I’ve got no idea why.

Oh this has made me sad. I'm sorry you feel this way. If you're not sure why it might be worth popping to your GP. I totally get you though.

 

[bexgreen1983]

At the min absolutely not. I have two beautiful daughters but my goodness one is such hard work. I’m married but most evenings are spent on my own as other half falls asleep. I often feel like I’m taken for granted and only focusing on what I don’t do rather then everything I do! How can someone be married but yet feel so utterly lonely.

 

[Saddlesoap]

Yes I am. Not every day, things upset/frustrate/annoy me, but yes I'm happy.

 

[FakeSmile]

At the min absolutely not. I have two beautiful daughters but my goodness one is such hard work. I’m married but most evenings are spent on my own as other half falls asleep. I often feel like I’m taken for granted and only focusing on what I don’t do rather then everything I do! How can someone be married but yet feel so utterly lonely.

This is absolutely my life. I just feel like I’m so alone with everything despite being married. I have 3 very young kids and a really full on job, and I’m physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I’m on medication for anxiety and OCD which takes the edge off, but I can’t remember the last time I felt happy or at peace.

 

[LadyTonya]

I am truly happy in my own life; i have worked hard to be content in my career and I know i am doing well and working in the right area. It took me a long time to figure it out but i have the view that all the tit jobs and struggles formed who i am today and why i enjoy my career so much now.
I love my children and take great pride in them and all they do. Dont get me wrong i am “normal” and they drive me bloody insane at times but i adore them and love the connection we have. I love spending time with them and seeing the world through their eyes.
Life is short and i spent many years trying desperately to figure it all out and searching for happiness. Now i take the tough days on the chin, try to see what good i can, and be kind to myself if it ain’t a great day. Its only a day. Onwards and upwards.

where I struggle is my marriage and i can understand your loneliness @bexgreen1983, i am married but very lonely and in hindsight i made a poor decision but for many reasons i cant leave. I just try to find happiness in as many other places i can, children, friends, work & nature. I feel somewhat sad reading back what i have written and if i was speaking with someone in a lonely marriage i would wish they would leave and fulfill their lives but its life isn’t it. Sometimes its not easy.

 

[turkeydinosaurs]

Nope. I find life hard. Family health issues, money, comparing myself to my friends (my issue completely, they don’t judge me etc), not being successful in my work life. I genuinely hate my personality.

 

[jawidjanqndn]

couldnt be further from it. currently sat in bed crying because of how alone i am. debating whether to get put back on my anti depressants because i don’t have the strength to pull myself out of a dark place again. sorry to be an absolute misery on here

being happy in life is something that keeps me here. i want to feel happy and content so badly one day.

 

[HockyRorror]

I am generally happy but honestly this song sums up my mood:


And sometimes when you're on, you're really bleeping on
And your friends they sing along and they love you.
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems bleeping cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence.
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to and
You'll show up for work with a smile.
You'll be better and you'll be smarter and more grown up
And a better daughter or son and a real good friend,
And you'll be awake,
You'll be alert, you'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
You'll be a real good listener, you'll be honest, you'll be brave
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful.
You'll be happy.

Reading through this thread reminds me of that song

 

[MissRabbit]

On the whole, yes. So many reasons to be happy and grateful. Happily married and a beautiful three year old son in our own house and in a job I enjoy. I guess I'm scared to be happy though, as I've lost a lot of family members growing up. My dad at nine, all of my grandparents by sixteen, my first boyfriend at nineteen and my father in law six years ago. I also got diagnosed with epilepsy at twenty four which just was a huge shock. I love my life now, it's took me a long time to get to where I am. But feel like if I dare to be happy something will go tits up. I'm trying to be kinder to myself though, life is too short. I'm at my happiest by the way when I get lost in the middle of a National Trust place surrounded by nature and no signal. I just forget about everything for a little while, it is so good for the soul.

 

[blackmasque]

Not even a little bit. And due to the specific contributing factors and their nature, I know it's only going to continue to get worse from here on out. I don't see myself ever being able to live a happy or even just content/fulfilled life.

 

[emerald]

couldnt be further from it. currently sat in bed crying because of how alone i am. debating whether to get put back on my anti depressants because i don’t have the strength to pull myself out of a dark place again. sorry to be an absolute misery on here

being happy in life is something that keeps me here. i want to feel happy and content so badly one day.

That last sentence resonates with me. Maybe I'm not there yet but I want to be one day.