Anyone else planning on asking for divorce as soon lockdown is over?

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I am at work and thought i will do somethings nice for him, i had a box of different pastries delivered to our house an hour ago from a nice bakery. they phoned me and said he chased them away and threw the box away. I am so embarrassed, we life in a fancy house and area, and i am emotionally so tired of the bullying and constant fear. Everyone in office went home, and i am sitting here to scared to go home. I struggle to understand that someone/anyone can be so hard, so angry. It is bottled up inside me, and my only sharing is on here. What the duck am i doing.
 
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I am at work and thought i will do somethings nice for him, i had a box of different pastries delivered to our house an hour ago from a nice bakery. they phoned me and said he chased them away and threw the box away. I am so embarrassed, we life in a fancy house and area, and i am emotionally so tired of the bullying and constant fear. Everyone in office went home, and i am sitting here to scared to go home. I struggle to understand that someone/anyone can be so hard, so angry. It is bottled up inside me, and my only sharing is on here. What the duck am i doing.
Don’t go home, go somewhere else. Figure the logistical bits out later. You deserve better x
 
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@Annie101 I’m sure I recognise your name from another thread months ago. Sorry if I have the wrong person though. I know it’s difficult to leave, I’ve been there, however you can’t keep making excuses and being so nice to this man. He is abusive, he is toxic and you deserve much more. I know you’re probably scared and you probably have a million thoughts going through your head but PLEASE leave this man before it’s too late. He won’t change. He will chip away at you until you’re barely even a person.
 
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all hotels, guesthouses etc still in lockdown. i have nowhere else to go.
There must be some where you can go. Any friends or family members that live on there own (As government newly announced to stay with another single person)
I think you should maybe speak to womens aid as they maybe able to advise you and give you the support you may need too.
I know having been in your situation seeking help is the most important think. I seeked so much reassurance and womens aid makes you see that how your treated is wrong.
 
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Thanks to anyone who said something nice about my 'home' situation.

Things will be sorted out when the time is right, I have faith in myself :)

I hope everybody else who has shared stories is doing okay, and OMG how many issues do computer cause?! My husband plays his most evenings plus during the day sometimes, it drives me up the wall!
 
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Advice please... now this has been a long time coming that I have not felt happy but the past few months have put things into perspective for me. Not had s#x in over 2 years (hes not even attempted- well neither have i). I'm working during evenings at the minute as got kids during the day.

He will fall asleep putting the biggest to bed around 7 (granted he is getting up early with the biggest) and come to bed around 10/11 when I'm asleep. Last night for instance I had a night off as doing some hours during day and he slept through the evening so o just spent it on my own. I just feel so so lonely at the moment.

Tonight though I'm raging... we have two kids and the eldest has additional needs and will constantly bug my husband who is trying to work despite me asking her not to. I'm trying to make tea so it's ready for 5 when hes finished so kids dont get hungry... and he has the audacity to say that I cant keep control of them (I'm doing my bloody best).

I said I would love to see you try.... I'm raging and said you wouldnt even be able to last a week doing what I've done and keep everything running in house.

Am I in wrong for being so upset?? We also had huge row on sunday and I'm just so worn out over it and just not happy anymore
 
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How are you doing now? I I hope you are okay? X
HI - thank you for asking. after 3 weeks of hell, and after discussions with his sponsor i was told although he is attending AA meetings he is not working the program. Also his behaviour is that of a "dry drunk", i did not even know that is a thing. One good week and suddenly it started all over again. 2 days ago i got home from work and he was all loving again, joyfully kissing me hello and asked if i got my gift. Didnt know what he was talking about, so he showed me he paid a 1000 into my banking account so i can buy something nice for myself. The emotional hurt and constant confusion of what i am going to face that day is making me feel so angry and hurt. And frankly i see "the gift" as bribe money to stay. I honestly dont know why but i really do love this man, and i am willing to stay if he works the AA program and commits to it. But my tears are so much more than laughter.
 
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HI - thank you for asking. after 3 weeks of hell, and after discussions with his sponsor i was told although he is attending AA meetings he is not working the program. Also his behaviour is that of a "dry drunk", i did not even know that is a thing. One good week and suddenly it started all over again. 2 days ago i got home from work and he was all loving again, joyfully kissing me hello and asked if i got my gift. Didnt know what he was talking about, so he showed me he paid a 1000 into my banking account so i can buy something nice for myself. The emotional hurt and constant confusion of what i am going to face that day is making me feel so angry and hurt. And frankly i see "the gift" as bribe money to stay. I honestly dont know why but i really do love this man, and i am willing to stay if he works the AA program and commits to it. But my tears are so much more than laughter.
For what it’s worth, I’m the child of an alcoholic so can give you some perspective. My dad went to AA for approx 3 years while still actively drinking regularly. It achieved nothing and that’s because it was only an attempt to placate our family - not because he truly wanted to kick the drink problem. Only when he made the decision and found the strength to actually give up alcohol forever did AA help him to do that. I say help because it’s not a magical solution. It takes a lot of work to recover (like any addiction). Sorry to say that recovery can’t be for another person, it has to be for (and done by) the person with the addiction.
 
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HI - thank you for asking. after 3 weeks of hell, and after discussions with his sponsor i was told although he is attending AA meetings he is not working the program. Also his behaviour is that of a "dry drunk", i did not even know that is a thing. One good week and suddenly it started all over again. 2 days ago i got home from work and he was all loving again, joyfully kissing me hello and asked if i got my gift. Didnt know what he was talking about, so he showed me he paid a 1000 into my banking account so i can buy something nice for myself. The emotional hurt and constant confusion of what i am going to face that day is making me feel so angry and hurt. And frankly i see "the gift" as bribe money to stay. I honestly dont know why but i really do love this man, and i am willing to stay if he works the AA program and commits to it. But my tears are so much more than laughter.
Please think about what's best for you and not what's best for him.
Can you honestly see a happy future?
Money should not be used as emotional blackmail. Money does not buy happiness.
 
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All sounds very familiar, I own a house with my boyfriend 150 miles away from my home town. He's always gamed but since he has been furloughed he has played it constantly. In the last 3 weeks, I can count the times he has come to bed before midnight as he usually stays up until 3 or 4 and then sleeps on the sofa til 7 so he doesn't wake me up. He came to bed last night but was up at 7am playing his xbox.

I am wfh full time in a demanding job and want to sort out the DIY on the house whilst we have the time but feel like I'm fighting a losing battle now. He also complains that his friends can party, drink and smoke but he isnt allowed because he has to compromise whilst I'm working and refers to furlough as his "holiday or retirement".

I've actually had enough of it and have used lockdown to save some cash and as soon as he is back at work I'm going to spring into action and get out. Like most of you, I'm 29 and terrified of starting again after 4 years but I'm also aware that life is too short. It's times like this I wish I lived closer to home because leaving will mean leaving my job eventually and the house I have worked so hard on as I want to be close to my family and friends.
An update if anyone is interested, we broke up yesterday. As much as it hurts and really leaves me feeling unsure of my future I know it's the right thing to do. Hopefully we can remain civil as we sort out the house 🤞🏼
 
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An update if anyone is interested, we broke up yesterday. As much as it hurts and really leaves me feeling unsure of my future I know it's the right thing to do. Hopefully we can remain civil as we sort out the house 🤞🏼
I’m sorry. Sad certainly but it sounds like it will be the best thing for you. You are still young and have so much ahead! Good luck :)
 
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An update if anyone is interested, we broke up yesterday. As much as it hurts and really leaves me feeling unsure of my future I know it's the right thing to do. Hopefully we can remain civil as we sort out the house 🤞🏼
Hope you're okay, I live 100 miles from home and have just come out of a long term relationship, it's hard, and lonely being away from everyone you know at times like these. Sending you love x
 
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An update if anyone is interested, we broke up yesterday. As much as it hurts and really leaves me feeling unsure of my future I know it's the right thing to do. Hopefully we can remain civil as we sort out the house 🤞🏼
Hope you're OK. Sorry to hear that but sounds like the right decision from what you've said. I'm in a pretty dire situation with my relationship so understand how it feels being unsure of your future like that.
It will all be alright x
 
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Advice please :(

So me and my partner have been together for 7 years he is always shady about his phone. I’ve been feeling like something has been off for a while and this is really unlike me so I checked his phone on his photos and low and behold 100+ videos and pictures of porn and videos of other women generally naked and stripping etc. Just looking for some advice really what to do because I have a deep pit in my stomach now :( I am so hurt. Not to mention he hasn’t really been fussed about sex the past month. I don’t even know how to bring this up,

I am aware some people don’t mind their other halves looking at porn it’s just the fact it’s on his photos seems so personal why he would want other girls dancing and stripping on there ? :( sorry this is long I am so incredibly hurt right now by this.
 
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I can only think he is storing it on his phone cause wherever he uses it, it cant be accessed through the internet? 🤷‍♀️ Is it actually porn or just naked women?
 
I can only think he is storing it on his phone cause wherever he uses it, it cant be accessed through the internet? 🤷‍♀️ Is it actually porn or just naked women?
Hey so it’s tik toks of other girls saved, porn videos and random girls just as selfies. The porn whatever I can deal with it’s the personal level of having random girls tik toks and photos on his camera roll. Not sure if I am being silly or not :/
 
Men must be stupid saving stuff like that to their photos! Do they not think their partners will find them? 🤔

Porn doesn’t bother me but it would if he liked watching it but didn’t want sex with me.

Saving photos of girls is a big no no.

You’ll have to confront him. He may get angry you looked at his phone but serves him right.
 
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I need to let off steam. Last year after me being Sherlock Holmes I found out my husband had been texting / calling another female , he did work for this women and her then husband, apparently they used to talk about life , I had been distant due to depression etc and he could talk to her he says there was no physical attraction on his behalf I won’t get personal to her but I would find astounded if there was, she definitely had a thing for him. He promised he would cut contact a month later he was still talking to her I lost the plot slashed all his tyres, but then we started to build our marriage back up , again I’ve not been myself lately I’m missing my family and I’m lonely I live 200 miles from my children and parents, last night I saw this women was selling a car so something rang bells as it looked like one mu husband sold last year.. he buys and sells cars as a sideline so I messaged her on a fake Facebook asking about then asked her why she was selling and you will never believe it she said she had just brought this certain car and you’ve guessed it my husband has just sold the exact same car 😡😡😡 I confronted him he admitted they bumped into each other a while ago again and sort of kept in. Touch I hit the roof and told her who I was but she wouldn’t reply! His twisted things to be my fault I honestly don’t know what to do it’s killing me and I self harmed through stress last night
 
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