Annoying Corporate Jargon

[Scorpihoe]

Throwing a spanner in the works

 

[Hello Kitty]

I posted this on another thread yesterday

- can you reach out
- just touching base
- can we try and pick up the phone to them
- moving forward/going forward
- let's draw a line at this

 

[Laur91]

I posted this on another thread yesterday

- can you reach out
- just touching base
- can we try and pick up the phone to them
- moving forward/going forward
- let's draw a line at this

man I hate ‘can we try and pick up the phone to them’ like you’re incapable of thinking of that yourself. Usually always said by a person who NEVER picks up the phone to anyone themselves!!

 

[Hello Kitty]

man I hate ‘can we try and pick up the phone to them’ like you’re incapable of thinking of that yourself. Usually always said by a person who NEVER picks up the phone to anyone themselves!!

HATE it

This particular time I'm thinking of I had already 'picked the phone' up twice which is why I emailed them. One of the people that asked me is an idiot and wouldn't even dare to call anyone

 

[CatCafe234]

someone on my team always calls people out when they call people ‘resources’ and rightly so. He’s like ‘when you say resource do you mean humans? Like, people?’

Slightly relieved to hear I’m not the only one who gets annoyed by this, it really rubs me up the wrong way when managers stop calling people ‘people’.

 

[FoksiOska]

I posted this on another thread yesterday

- can you reach out
- just touching base
- can we try and pick up the phone to them
- moving forward/going forward
- let's draw a line at this

Argh I HATE the use of 'reach out' yet I seem to be noticing it being used more and more
"Thank you for reaching out to us"
"Let's reach out to them and see what they say"
Make it stop!

My work also likes to use the term 'segway' I.e. 'let's segway into this section of the paper'

 

[Kthxbye]

I'll put a placeholder in your diary......shut it arseholes just call it a meeting invite

A strawman wtaf

Bang for your buck

Pre-Covid not corporate jargon as such but honestly if I hear that one more time

I send placeholders a lot! but they literally are placeholders usually just to make sure people keep that slot free until I get a more firm invite/agenda etc

The one thing that really annoys me is lately everything is called a 'space
The customer space
The finance space
"Whats happening in the delivery space?"
piss off with your spaces

 

[Mulholland Drive]

Scaling
Optimize
Synergy
Organic

... how about "a load of bollocks!"

 

[Delia Smith]

My boss uses all of these terms and a lot more, drives me MAD sometimes!

Also
“Don’t email, phone them”. Despite the fact I’ll always have phoned them first !!

“Pivot”

“Follow the processes”

“Onboarding”

“You are your biggest competition”

“Keep the main thing the main thing”

“Wowing clients”


duck off!

 

[WookieCookie]

Scaling
Optimize
Synergy
Organic

... how about "a load of bollocks!"

I like to call it utter pish

 

[HelloStereo]

I suppose 'exciting vacancy' can come under the head of corporate jargon. It makes a job advert sound so appealing, doesn't it? Then you see it's for a warehouse, call centre or data entry clerk!

The term "exciting" is used in the corporate world for things that are most definitely not exciting.

 

[Sosig]

This isn’t jargon but using “per my last e-mail” instead of “witch can you read” makes my day.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

I hate all jargon when it comes to work. It’s all a load of crap. Recently; there’s a lot of overuse of “calling it out” ie “I’m just calling X out” / “it’s worth calling X thing out now”

See also - “take offline”. I hate corporate speak so much and make w concerted effort not to engage in it but use actual words and phrases that clearly describe what I’m meaning!

 

[Mulholland Drive]

I read this earlier this morning

Liv Garfield, chief executive Severn Trent, said: “The last six months have been challenging for everyone and I am grateful to our Severn Trent people, whether they’ve been in a treatment works, in an office, working from home, or out on the streets carrying out essential work, for the dedication, resilience and wonderful can-do spirit they have shown. It’s these qualities which have enabled us to provide our customers with a great service in such difficult circumstances.

It was so gushing and yet so full of shite that I almost threw up

 

[Laur91]

We had one yesterday which was:

‘We need to eat our own dog food’ which is essentially a weird way of saying ‘we need to practice what we preach’

 

[MrsWolf]

My previous managers favourite was “control the controllable”.

No tit Sherlock.

 

[Pambo]

I work in IT and hear certain buzzwords in meetings with other IT and finance bods

Latest ones include digital transformation, big data and blockchain

I'm in IT as well. That "digital transformation" one that gets thrown around always makes me smile - like management haven't noticed that's been taking place for more than 25yrs with Excel.

"Big data" discussions with people just about able to use Outlook on a good day... don't get me started.

 

[Mulholland Drive]

Herding Cats
Upscaling
Onboarding

...are few more irritating buzzwords I've heard this week

 

[Hello Kitty]

Not jargon but changing people's job titles from things like
Customer service advisor to customer success advisor
Head of HR - head of people

I much prefer the former of both.

 

[emm]

I suppose 'exciting vacancy' can come under the head of corporate jargon. It makes a job advert sound so appealing, doesn't it? Then you see it's for a warehouse, call centre or data entry clerk!

worse is when they also add "competitive salary" , if the salary was in any way good surely they would list it?!