Annoying Corporate Jargon

[Mulholland Drive]

I'm sure we've all heard of the classic "blue sky thinking" and "Let's touch base offline" phrases, but they're quite old and seemingly going out of fashion to be replaced with even more irritating terms such as:-

Thought shower
It's on my radar
let's peel the onion
leverage synergy
customer journey

I'm sure there's loads more out there that irritate people beyond belief. Can you bring any to the table?

 

[Londoncailín]

I’ll ping you over an email
Think outside the box
Right, so lets circle back

 

[Kim Mild]

Touch base

 

[Bellaboo83]

Going forward

Let's huddle (lets not )

I think we need to strip it back

Drill down

Knock it out of the ball park

 

[JLXRD]

Another one for ‘Going forward’... I’ve used it outside work a few times now as well the horror.

working collaboratively/dynamically

probs tons of others, making me eye roll a approx 500 times a day

 

[Swipeuplikeandshare]

Voice of customer
Roll back
Roll forward
Canvas your thoughts
Take it offline
Low bearing fruit
Synergies

Ughh

 

[JLXRD]

Spinning lots of plates

 

[HelloStereo]

The term "leverage". Also when people say they "empower their employees" or some other bs. Basically it means they still have control but want to give you some responsibility so if you get it wrong they can blame it on you.

 

[WookieCookie]

I'll put a placeholder in your diary......shut it arseholes just call it a meeting invite

A strawman wtaf

Bang for your buck

Pre-Covid not corporate jargon as such but honestly if I hear that one more time

 

[If you say so...]

What sector do you all work in? We never use any of the above I’m in senior management in the private sector that has a global client base, we have a casual workplace

 

[HelloStereo]

Let's huddle (lets not )

Especially during Covid.

 

[Mulholland Drive]

What sector do you all work in? We never use any of the above I’m in senior management in the private sector that has a global client base, we have a casual workplace

I work in IT and hear certain buzzwords in meetings with other IT and finance bods

Latest ones include digital transformation, big data and blockchain

 

[Kim Mild]

What sector do you all work in? We never use any of the above I’m in senior management in the private sector that has a global client base, we have a casual workplace

I've never heard 'touching base ' said in my workplace, but I hear it said when using other companies . I've noticed a funeral director and estate agent use it . It's normally when there's no new communication to be had but they aren't ignoring you .

 

[bubbadabut]

Seen on recent job adverts:
We are seeking an emotionally intelligent candidate
We are a forward-thinking organisation (not going to admit to being a backward-thinking one are they?)

Reach out to/Touch base with

 

[caterday28]

Going forward

Let's huddle (lets not )

Huddles. Working in the civil service these were everything.

 

[bellinibobble]

I could not cope sitting in a meeting where these terms are being banded around

 

[CatCafe234]

Secret squirrel, and calling people ‘resource’. Doing anything with a matrix and huddling. Also when someone’s clearly done an entry-level Lean/Six-Sigma course and they start applying the jargon to the wrong things entirely.

 

[bunnyboo]

Have a new sales team who love talking about scheduling pointless meetings with us.

"I'll be dipping into everyone's calendar"
"throw something into the cal"

 

[Laur91]

Omg I love this thread. I’m always telling my boyfriend about the stupid things my colleagues say hahaha

the ones I hate the most are:

‘let’s chew the fat’ (always makes me feel sick)
‘Fitting a square peg into a round hole’
‘Ringfence’
‘Draw up a straw man’


I’m sure there are so many more, I can probably comment each workday evening with a new update

Secret squirrel, and calling people ‘resource’. Doing anything with a matrix and huddling. Also when someone’s clearly done an entry-level Lean/Six-Sigma course and they start applying the jargon to the wrong things entirely.

someone on my team always calls people out when they call people ‘resources’ and rightly so. He’s like ‘when you say resource do you mean humans? Like, people?’

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I suppose 'exciting vacancy' can come under the head of corporate jargon. It makes a job advert sound so appealing, doesn't it? Then you see it's for a warehouse, call centre or data entry clerk!