Alice Evans & Ioan Gruffudd #247 No intelligence needed to argue with her, just a tolerance of frustration

[EllaBella89]

Because I was raised in a very chaotic environment and by a narc, I’m still susceptible to being sucked in by poor me stories by people who are quite clearly also narcs. I have to remove myself from the orbit of these types of people IRL and I actually stopped posting here for a year because I felt bad for her. What always comes back to me is the thought that these people are abusers. This is their MO. They get as far as they do with their abuse by relying on the pity of others and by triangulation. The court documents brought me back here.

Yes, what’s happened to Alice looks wise and lifestyle wise - staying in bed and not wanting to go out, can and could happen to all of us. The difference is, when this happens to people as a result of an illness or a mental health condition, you will naturally understand and give them leeway and avoid ridiculing them. Alice, while she is still a human and technically deserves the empathy she could never muster for others, is this way because of her terrible behaviour and choices. She’s an abuser, a manipulator and a dangerous person. She’s wrecking the lives of her children. So no, I don’t feel sorry for her. Her current situation is a form of karma. She’s stuck in a loop of reliving the past because her present is utterly bleeping miserable. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

 

[Citney]

Alice tends to attract the White Knight types that want to save her from herself. Ioan was one until he was totally depleted and exhausted and ultimately had to save himself. It doesn't help her as she doesn't want to change and all people on here who have tried to help her did is waste their own time. In the earlier threads here, there was a lot of "Alice you need to do this, this and this" and while I know people meant well, I also know AFE from old and knew that she's a hard core bleep who has had a charmed life and didn't appreciate any of it. She has abused every one she has come into contact with, aside from high profiles like Celia Walden who she doesn't want to lose as they are good for her celebrity (lol) image.

I saw this on Insta and I worry for Ella in particular as she has been parentified to the hilt and has become AFE's substitute spouse. She will need a lot of therapy but she isn't ready for it while under the grip of Mommy Dearest.

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PS I see Loopy as a fake White Knight. He latches on to 'damsels in distress' but he doesn't give a duck about them - he's a narc so it all about raising his profile and appearing to care. Then he swiftly moves on to the next 'damsel in distress'.

When Ella said she could ‘fix’ her father so Alice would not be angry, that was a sign of her trying to save their family, really sad because she couldn't have been but 11 or 12 years old. I hope Ella gets the help she is going to need, but she never will as long as Alice has her in her clutches.

 

[Arctic Ocean]

I am firmly in the camp that Alice is the way she is and always has been. I don’t think it is useful to see her as someone whose MH has deteriorated or who is a victim of circumstance. This is the type of assumption that her victims make and they pay dearly for it. If you have someone like Alice in you life my advice would be don’t try to fix them, don’t think they will get help and don’t negotiate with them. They aren’t interested in or capable of change.

There was no deterioration in their relationship it was fucked up and problematic from the start. Ioan was just not able to see that like many victims of abusers. Take the following.

- She was involved with someone else when they met and openly conducted an affair. Whether it was a transactional arrangement or a love match matters not. It should have been a red flag.

- She immediately moved in with him under obviously false pretences. She claimed to be looking to buy her own place. But she clearly didn’t have a pot to piss in or a regular income. Anyone rushing a relationship for economics is not doing it for the right reasons. A reg flag.

- She was immediately doing tabloid stories, “close friends are saying” my ass, about them getting married. They had barely started dating. Red flag.

- She was observed to be unnaturally possessive around him. The neck clinch and people reporting she watched him like a hawk even in the early days. People around Ioan could clearly see it.

- her public performances were embarrassing given she was and is a nobody.

- Her involvement with his fans, the SM fights and blatant trolling

- Her fights with her family and his family.

I will stop there but I have just about covered the first 5 years of publicly known behaviour after they met.

I have always said Ioan was a victim and he is not to blame for not seeing it or not putting a stop to any of it. Very few people who get caught in the web or grip of someone like Alice can. It’s arrogant to think that you would deal with someone like her better. They lie and manipulate in a way that is beyond normal comprehension in a world that functions on the assumption that you take people at face value.

I don’t want to disrespect opinions that she could have been redeemed, helped or whatever. However a lot of abusers rely on this response to keep victims trapped. It’s absolutely part of their cycle that they promise to get help and to change. It’s absolutely part of their cycle to shift blame to others or circumstances. This why they are so dangerous and why they keep people trapped.

The outcome for Ioan, being abused, was set in stone because he was with her. No “if she had” or “if he had” would change that except he should have run for the hills when those red flags started flapping.

This.

Alice seems to have followed the same M.O. since childhood.

The family wants to relocate but Mistress Alice does not? She throws the tantrum to end all tantrums, and the family caves. She wants to get engaged but Ioan does not? She throws another almighty tantrum (more than one, most likely), and Ioan caves. She is disappointed with what she perceives as a lack of success on Ioan’s part? She demeans, emasculates and humiliates him privately and in public at every opportunity to put him down and thus elevate herself (in her warped worldview, that is). And ever so forth.

She has learned early on that drama and hysterics get her what she wants. I don’t believe that genuine mental health challenges lie at the core of her behaviour – this is her personality and the way she has always gotten by in life. She is a manipulative, ill-mannered shrew with no sense of decorum, grace or compassion.

I joined this shitshow around thread #10 or so, and I’ve experienced instances of feeling sorry for her lack of perspective, her empty life and the cloud of negativity that seems to envelop her every hour of every day. But since the publication of the court documents, I can no longer muster even a smidgen of sympathy. I find her undeserving of any effort to understand or empathise with her behaviour.

Please don’t get me wrong; I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone who sees things differently. You guys have a much bigger heart and a greater capacity for compassion than I do.

 

[WinterSolstice]

I joined this shitshow around thread #10 or so, and I’ve experienced instances of feeling sorry for her lack of perspective, her empty life and the cloud of negativity that seems to envelop her every hour of every day. But since the publication of the court documents, I can no longer muster even a smidgen of sympathy. I find her undeserving of any effort to understand or empathise with her behaviour.

Please don’t get me wrong; I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone who sees things differently. You guys have a much bigger heart and a greater capacity for compassion than I do.

The facade she has constructed is a lie to get what she wants. The ‘real’ Alice is the one revealed in the court docs, the ‘want more’ message, the TMZ videos.

I feel sorry that a human has wasted their life as she has but I don’t feel bad for Alice, iykwim.

 

[Bridgeofsighs]

The ‘real’ Alice is the one revealed in the court docs, the ‘want more’ message, the TMZ videos.

Yes and we don't even know the full extent of what she has done. It's always worse than we think it it. We haven't heard the voicemails or the video messages. Bianca mentioned (in a comment iirc) that AFE followed up the 'Want More?' email with a voicemail where she was cackling hysterically and that she was tagged in wheelchair posts and free walking stick giveaways. I can't find where she said this now. Anyway...

Alice is still an abuser and bleep.

 

[M33L4]

I don’t think feeling sorry for her or excusing her behaviour means you have a bigger capacity of love or empathy. I think some of us who like me who have had recent experience with triangulation, silent treatment and gaslighting from someone on here you’re just over her tit.

 

[Bridgeofsighs]

I don’t think feeling sorry for her or excusing her behaviour means you have a bigger capacity of love or empathy.

Yes. Her enabler FMs are in a circle jerk of 'compassion' for Alice on Instagram but it doesn't help her, it just feeds the victim persona she has created and strengthens her delusions.

 

[Ralphiegirl]

I look at her with more like pity than empathy. Maybe she doesn't deserve even that. She's just like a pathetic troll that's been forced out from under the bridge in that video.... I really do feel for the girls, I just wish something could be done to get them into a safe environment as soon as possible. moo

 

[M33L4]

Alice feels no shame about any of her behaviour. Even calling her out and it’s excused because she’s hurting. All that hurt people hurt people. I don’t trust it.
I’m a hurt person, I go out of my way to make sure I don’t make people feel anything other than joy. Calling her a bleep on an anonymous gossip page isn’t the reach she claims it is.
The reality is she is harming her daughters and her ex-husband for fun.
She changes her opinion like the wind changes her filtered face in the wild. She was an Amber Heard supporter then not because Depp won that case.
It’s a narc trait. Having lots of “controversial” opinions online when in reality and in group chats it’s all “duck that witch she ugly”, you know? She likes to inherit peonalities, that’s not the correct word, she becomes whomever she’s trying to charm money out of. She shares similar interests, or politics to her latest target.
All this love and light and “I don’t bring others down”. I’m a girls girl, while slaughtering Bianca and Tamika on and off for years. Same with the ioanonline folk and Tattlers.
Anyone that calls her out is a troll, hater who is jealous of her. Jealous of what? She’s single, updatable, unemployed, looks absolutely bowfing and has to filter her pics beyond all recognition.
The babies can stand up for me or duck off…
THIS is Alice.

 

[hermionegrangerrrr]

Yes. Her enabler FMs are in a circle jerk of 'compassion' for Alice on Instagram but it doesn't help her, it just feeds the victim persona she has created and strengthens her delusions.

literally logged in to tell you that I am eating and almost choked on my hobnob reading “circle jerk of compassion” why is everyone here so bleeping funny

 

[Treacletrixter]

I think most of Alice’s supporters identify with her rather than empathise with her. Because a lot of her followers are quite fucked up themselves. The fact that they articulate selective empathy says it all. Most grown ups know what divorce and separation means. For men and women and children. It is a scary and painful time. Even if you are the one who instigated it all.

Truly empathetic people want to help people minimise the pain and trauma. They don’t want people to be be dragged into bitterness and acrimony. Because you can end up stuck there. Plus when there are children involved the two adults need to create a positive co parenting arrangement for many many years to come.

Alice didn’t need any encouragement to up her abuse game against Ioan and to extend it to Bianca and his family. She would do it without the FMs. But their behaviour stinks. As did the whole team narrative. Who the fucks joins a team during a family breakdown. It’s not a sport. And you can’t blame or punish a person for not loving or not longer loving someone else. Which is all their agenda has been.

 

[Who's Singing Now?]

I'm not that sure Alice has many followers. I think she attracts people who like to poke the idiot.

 

[M33L4]

I'm not that sure Alice has many followers. I think she attracts people who like to poke the idiot.

I can’t imagine sending my so-called friend screenshots of the “abusive” messages supposedly written about them. It’s somewhat abusive.

 

[Who's Singing Now?]

Alice Evans 'somewhat abusive' - the understatement of the year. Poor Yo and Bee passed that stop on the crazy town express so long ago they've forgotten they were ever there.

 

[screamin.lisa]

Why does her real face look all caved in like that? She looks like someone who’s been caught without their dentures in. What would cause that?

Partly from age and her teeth are a mess. The veneers are gone and her own teeth are shifting around and I believe she has over bite?

 

[BessieNessie]

I don’t think it’s contentious to pity her and the state she’s in. I don’t see things getting better for her. Yes she brought it on herself, yes she’s an abuser and yes the karma train needs to stop at her station. It’s not like anyone is holding a vigil for her or donating to her GFM.

Obviously Bianca, Ioan, the girls, her dad, his wife etc are the only victims in this story. nobody here is painting Alice as a victim or excusing her toxic personality and behaviour.

It’s always a bit sad when the banter goes south and it always happens when big Al goes quiet.

 

[Ninas purse]

Her current situation is entirely her own making. Most of us grow out of our selfish self-absorbed teen years because we realise early on that the world don't owe us anything. She refused to work, treated her husband horribly, made no effort to grow as an adult.
She has no friends, no family who care about her well being, no safety net. You don't end up like that by being a productive member of society. She is reaping the consequences of her years of bad behavior and planning. What is sad is that she has not learnt anything from this current situation she's in. It is all down hill from here.

 

[Old Soak]

I l’ve just realized that I didn’t put norks in the recap

 

[BessieNessie]

.
She is a manipulative, ill-mannered shrew with no sense of decorum, grace or compassion.

Chaucer himself couldn’t have come up with a better one.

 

[Bridgeofsighs]

I can’t imagine sending my so-called friend screenshots of the “abusive” messages supposedly written about them. It’s somewhat abusive.

That's what narcs want though and they surround themselves with sycophants who give them what they want. Then AFE parades the offending screenshots on SM and gets a chorus of "Poor you. Tattlers have no lives" etc. I think the main person taking screenshots is mAlice though.