Alfie Deyes #9 The lights are always on, but nobodys home

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why are they obsessed with head sizes?! It’s so odd.
Exactly! Something I couldn't care less! 😂 and in this picture the difference is not that big, seems just normal.
But I guess it's classic Alf who makes jokey and sometimes mean captions, head size was the only one he could find for this maybe. He cannot put a lovely caption, let's be real!
 
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Wow he’s really made some GREAT progress on that vegetable patch hasn’t he 🙄🙄😂
Imagine what someone who has never had their own bit of outdoor space/garden could do with this bit of land. He appreciates and values nothing. The garden is strewn with his rotting tit and the house stuffed with his unused things/toys. Doesn’t matter though, he can just spend a few hours filming himself doing duck all, put Zoella in the thumbnail and earn more money to buy more crap.
 
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Well it's too late in the year to start planting any veg now, will have to wait until next year, but it will of course be forgotten about by then.
Thinking about it he’s so sly I wouldn’t put it past him to secretly get their Gardner to do the work and for him to then claim he’s done it.
 
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This a joke or what? They LICHERALY DWOP nothing. It’s a none brand, It’s boring.

Texts for what? To say OH MAH GAWD GUIIISSSS WE HAVE 20 KEYRINGS AVAILABLE, DWOPPIN NOW OH MAHHHH GAWWWSHHHHHHHHHHHH.

duck OFF.
 
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Most of the comments on the future self post are saying the text thing isn’t working.
 
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Also why is it a US number? That sounds dodgy as duck to me. I know he’s saying it’s a standard cost... but I wouldn’t trust it.

I wonder if this is even properly compliant With GDPR.
 
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God he is aggressively stupid isn’t he? Thinking veg will magically grow when it’s too late to plant a lot of stuff
 
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God he is aggressively stupid isn’t he? Thinking veg will magically grow when it’s too late to plant a lot of stuff
completely! And a vegetable patch competition ffs. Something else to chalk up on the abandoned pile..
 
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Though Zoe's mum seems to be there, so I guess she would give some information about planting vegetables at current time...
 
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Just watching his new video and he’s sleeping in “his woodland”, I know he spoke about buying it however long ago it was. Does that mean it’s this massive area that’s fenced off and completely private for him or can like random people still walk through it? I don’t really understand the whole “purchasing a woodland” thing 😂
 
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Just watching his new video and he’s sleeping in “his woodland”, I know he spoke about buying it however long ago it was. Does that mean it’s this massive area that’s fenced off and completely private for him or can like random people still walk through it? I don’t really understand the whole “purchasing a woodland” thing 😂
No I think its private because when he first went to it he had a key.
 
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I get irrationally annoyed at 99% of what Alfie says. Today it extends to all of the condom hat crew saying “bro” every other sentence.
 
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I love that he's wearing a mask in the start of the video and then it's never to be seen again and none of his "friends" are wearing them either? What was even the point?
 
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Also he’s complaining on his stories that he’s uploaded his (stupid, boring) post at a bad time for engagement and is begging for likes. How lame and desperate can you get?

and how uncool to make it known how obvious it is that all you do is for mercenary reasons. He’s grim.
 
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