I'm just traumatised by the thought he might think he's the expert of conception so will start to give out his tips and tricks 
Alfie Deyes #12 aka Alfie Davies Trying to get fit but he's still a Tory tit
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"It's like shooo shickkk if you don't pull out. Straight shavage move!!"I'm just traumatised by the thought he might think he's the expert of conception so will start to give out his tips and tricks
"It's okay if it comes out quickly *giggles and displays horse gums*. 14 seconds is fine, and Zoe only sighed once this time which was shick."
Because when her and Joe was at Zoe's house they were all round the table and Dianne was playing footsie with Joe's foot only it turned out to be Alfie's and he claimed he never noticed.
I do feel sorry for Alfie. Getting his ego boosted and money to match 5 years ago, and then gradually realising that all you had to offer the world was doing the chubby bunny challenge with friends who were more popular than you, and providing footage of your girlfriend who many preteen girls thought was pretty so became obsessed with (and slightly obsessed with you as a result).
He's desperately trying to prove that he did have talent/something to offer. Talent for video creation? Nope. A nice relatable guy that people his age would watch? No. Travel videos? No. Humour/podcast creator? No. Fashion line creator? No. Investor into schick startups? Technically yes, but still little talent there.
All he can do now is milk his past fluke success and connection to someone who is still popular enough (Zoe) and that's all he's good for. He's being smart cashing in now, and he also is obviously investing the money so he hasn't really done anything wrong here, but I do feel bad for him that he probably was convinced he had a talent, to find out he didn't.
His first trimester video is a big example of how he just has so little to offer. Who is this video for? It's obvious the only people watching are young Zalfie fans who get excited at any info on Zoe. Putting in the bit about sex, as if he's speaking to men his age about a taboo relatable subject was SO AWKWARD because he knew those people aren't watching, but he likes to pretend they are none the less. The tone (he knows he is speaking to kids) just didn't match the subject matter (a topic for late twenties men) and it's so weird.
It was a good video to make in theory, but the execution was terrible and I can't imagine a man in his late twenties watching the whole thing without feeling like he is being talked to by a children's tv presenter.
He's desperately trying to prove that he did have talent/something to offer. Talent for video creation? Nope. A nice relatable guy that people his age would watch? No. Travel videos? No. Humour/podcast creator? No. Fashion line creator? No. Investor into schick startups? Technically yes, but still little talent there.
All he can do now is milk his past fluke success and connection to someone who is still popular enough (Zoe) and that's all he's good for. He's being smart cashing in now, and he also is obviously investing the money so he hasn't really done anything wrong here, but I do feel bad for him that he probably was convinced he had a talent, to find out he didn't.
His first trimester video is a big example of how he just has so little to offer. Who is this video for? It's obvious the only people watching are young Zalfie fans who get excited at any info on Zoe. Putting in the bit about sex, as if he's speaking to men his age about a taboo relatable subject was SO AWKWARD because he knew those people aren't watching, but he likes to pretend they are none the less. The tone (he knows he is speaking to kids) just didn't match the subject matter (a topic for late twenties men) and it's so weird.
It was a good video to make in theory, but the execution was terrible and I can't imagine a man in his late twenties watching the whole thing without feeling like he is being talked to by a children's tv presenter.
Ive not watched his first trimester video but after all the hilarious comments on here I think I might have to just for the lol's.
Exactly this
I’m sorry, but did Alfie Deyes just have the audacity to post something about sustainability/environment (plastic waste) on his Instagram?
He's been sponsored by the most performative "green" company so many times - A Good Company. Him and Zoe both are such performative activists.
I was surprised when that collab came out. There is nothing sustainable about either of them.
Don't you know he single handedly saved the world because he has a reusable straw? Although now I think about it, we haven't seen his reusable metal straw for some time.
We've not seen that dad bod either
Who’s gonna be on his tit podcast this time then?
A few potentials I assume are:
Joe the explorer and pennywise
Poopy head bobber and Sean the ArTiSt
Big Mand and kinda fit Dad
A buttercream bellend
Ramsay twats (again)
A few potentials I assume are:
Joe the explorer and pennywise
Poopy head bobber and Sean the ArTiSt
Big Mand and kinda fit Dad
A buttercream bellend
Ramsay twats (again)
I think Joe knows what a crock of tit the podcast is so won't go near it. Plus he's probably still making Dianne socially distance from stalker Aldie.
Surely he'll get that bakery on to get free cakes they can cut into 3 delivered to their house so they don't have to queue again.
Maybe his sperm too now he's a fit dad to be not actually firing his blanks. And if course his peleton bike to tell everyone about his fit dad bike.
Nala will have got the cut to help her prepare for when she's being dumped permanently at big Mand's just before the birth.
Maybe David Dickinson's son Ferris will feature this season
The one thing you can guarantee is that he'll have more guests than viewers
I didn't know he had a podcast, surprised he doesn't have Dianne on it, imagine how shickkk that would be
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