I’m really struggling with my Dad and his alcoholism. He’s been alcoholic for as long as I can remember. He has had one or two bouts of being sober, one stint for as long as 3 years. It’s so so draining, he doesn’t want help otherwise he wouldn’t constantly fail. He can be really verbally abusive and controlling to my Mom (and myself and brother. I just have him blocked now so I don’t have contact unless it’s through my Mom because it does nothing for my own health). He has to know what she’s doing all the time and where she is.
He has to plan everyone’s day and everyone has to drop everything for him based on his needs (
duck the fact that we have jobs right?!). Take for example today, myself and my brother were going to visit him this evening with our Mom (I don’t like her going to his by herself) and he asked for us to go today (he wants help with something so that’s the only reason he’s asked us to go). That’s fine. Now he’s pissed up and had been hounding my Mom all day just being an idiot and taking the high ground because we refuse to be around him when he’s drunk. He doesn’t like it when you call him out for being drunk either. But he blatantly slurring. I am convinced he’s mixing his prescription medication up too with all this booze.
For background my parents are estranged and don’t live together. Technically separated but not divorced.
He’s clearly very unwell, barely leaves his flat and is constantly incoherent. Doesn’t like it when you say he’s drunk. Doesn’t like it when you catch him drinking. Doesn’t like it how I look in his bins and call him out on his bullshit. Doesn’t do anything for himself (my Mom does his weekly shop, phones to sort his docs appointments or his dentist appointments. Myself and brother sort out his phone contract and monitor his emails for him). He has alcohol delivered to his house by a local shop and I’m trying to find out which shop it is as I want to go in and demand they stop delivering it. I just think it’s disgusting and these people are taking the absolute piss and most likely laughing at my Dad as he pays them to consistently get drunk and feed his alcoholism.
It’s totally life ruining. I feel like I would given anything to have a normal father. Absolutely anything. Just for the peace. The worst of it all when he’s sober, he is brilliant. So so good for advice. He just can’t stay sober, or maybe he doesn’t want to. Heartbreaking cause clearly his family and their feelings mean zilch to him as this is all I ask and he can’t even do that.
On the other hand I’m so so worry about him dying lonely cause I wouldn’t want that for him. He has got people around who love him
The whole thing is such a headfuck.
It’s took me some time to pluck up the courage to post here as I have people in my real life who know my user but don’t know the full details re: my dad, but
duck it. I’m so sick of feeling stunted and embarrassed by all of this when it’s his actions, not mine.