Adam The Woo #17 Every Day Is A Cheat Day

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Leave it to Adam to brag every night on his IG as the Rays win 5 in a row and climb above .500, and then he makes the trek down to St. Pete (although he still calls it Tampa Bay in the title) to see them finish off the awful White Sox, and his presence inspires them to lose. Yes, the boys didn't win one for Adam this time. The Chicago White Sox are now 9-28 on the season, and 4 of their 9 wins have come against the Rays.

Look at this sad sack thumbnail, like a baby walrus who lost his mom
1715265313021.png


So the traffic was HORRIBLE! And the Florida heat was CRAZY! Not even good clickbait. His baseball vlogs don't get a lot of views, so he tries hard with the clickbait titles and always puts the mention of the Rays at the very end and hopes people don't notice it.

Adam, fresh out of bed at 1:30pm, fills up and gets a coffee at the Art Deco 7-11, and complains about the heat. Says he thought about going to WDW (again) but couldn't bear to think about doing that in the heat, so he decided to flee to the air conditioned Trop and hang out with Tampa Jay. In fact he meets Jay at Jay's house and they drive together to the stadium.

Outside the venue, which isn't open yet, he complains more about the heat. Jay's hat is once again askew
1715273451326.png


Adam rambles on and on about the Rays winning streak, how it has to do with the City Connect merch and with his mustache - well, also several Rays players have grown mustaches. Then they move on to debating about Terminator and Terminator 2, and then Adam embraces his inner 10yo boy by making butthole jokes, but he can't say the word because he pretends his channel is family friendly somehow.

Then they both complain about traffic on I-4, with Jay claiming "it's the worst road in America." To back this up, he says that, "you can get on it, and it will say your drive should take 20 minutes, and then an accident happens, and boom, it takes 3 hours", which is a general description of how roads, accidents, and traffic work in any major metropolitan area in the United States, so I'm not sure what that proves.

Then Adam goes back to complaining about the weather and complains that it should be this hot because it's only May. Apparently Adam hasn't figured out it's 2024 and the world gets hotter every year and spring in central Florida is now March and April, May hasn't been springtime in Florida in years and years.

Woo spots a Mets plaque on the ground and brags about how the Rays just swept them but the Mets have a payroll that's 3x the Rays. He says he loves rooting for the underdog. Which is why he's a huge fan of the second largest mass media company in the world, that little underdog, The Walt Disney Company.

These two are just too hot, and they need to cool off with some chilled drinks, so they stop at a chai boba place. Once again, Adam is only consuming beverages on camera so far. Conveniently, he "doesn't even remember" what he ordered. Maybe you can figure it out by what he shows, seems to have milk or cream in it:
1715274785120.png


Again Adam thinks he's a a 10yo boy's birthday party, and says that he likes that they provide an extra wide straw so "you can slurp up the balls." Then he says he's having trouble talking because "I have these balls in my mouth." Gosh Adam, you're too funny for a 50 yo man. Have fun alone in your 3 bedroom home for the rest of your days!

We are 50% thru the vlog running time now, and they aren't even in the stadium. Adam, really supporting the team that barely sells any tickets, has decided to go for the cheap seats this time, and has bought a $10 ticket. Adam is surprised that the poor stingrays trapped in the tank in the outfield stay as low as possible and don't want to be touched, even though the Rays have them there for the express purpose of being touched. I'm sure they especially don't want to be touched by Adam.

Adam meets one of his best friends in the world, DJ Kitty. Maybe DJ Kitty can come stay in the guest room at the Woomansion? Adam goes on and on with DJ Kitty about the win streak, and "we're never taking these jerseys off" and "do you have your broom out for the sweep tonight", generally embarrassing himself because, of course, they end up scoring one run and losing. What a cute trio. Tampa Jay says "You're just so cuddly, I love it!"

1715275890498.png


More of one of the only reasons Adam shows up to games: meeting "famous" people like this Rays tv/radio guy. Of course Adam is, as always, too lazy to just copy the photo that's on his phone into his final edit that he does also ON HIS PHONE, so he shows it on the spot. Thumbs up!
1715277124445.png


Adam watches a bit of the game, then goes back to the more important aspects of the night: meeting the other mascot, Raymond, and getting something to eat. Yes, it's been a full week but we finally get to see Adam eat something on camera. Adam gets his usual poke bowl, with not one but two containers of soy sauce that he drenches it in. You can see the second one peeking out in the bottom right hand corner of the frame as he begins to pour the first one all over the bowl
1715277598408.png


They scream with joy as the Rays take a 1-0 lead. Then they become depressed when Chicago takes a 2-1 lead. The man who complained about people making bootleg merch with his phrases and likeness is using MLB game footage for his own commercial profit, by the way. Not that his baseball vlogs are big view getters.

I know you'll be shocked, but the poke bowl didn't quite fill Adam up all the way. Remember, 99 days to his birthday, going hard, no cheat days! So he just got this full size helmet with buttery, cooked-in-fatty oil, popcorn. Adam actually complains several times there's not enough salt on it. He even hands it to Jay and asks his opinion. Do they not have salt packets at The Trop?
1715277938474.png


The Rays lose, and they are bitterly disappointed and walk to the parking lot. Did Adam get a hotel room like he said he would whenever he goes to see the Rays from now on? Who knows?
 
  • Like
  • Sick
  • Heart
Reactions: 17
Noted Rays fan here. DJ Kitty is a terrible mascot. The fact that two grown men completely mark out over that thing is total cringe.

Also, you rarely see photos of Adam with fans, right? Because of social anxiety and all that. Yet he sure seems eager to get his photo with anything and anyone Rays related.

Can an organization trade fans? Because I propose we trade Woo and Jay to Oakland/Las Vegas for a box of Cracker Jacks.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 12
Noted Rays fan here. DJ Kitty is a terrible mascot. The fact that two grown men completely mark out over that thing is total cringe.

Also, you rarely see photos of Adam with fans, right? Because of social anxiety and all that. Yet he sure seems eager to get his photo with anything and anyone Rays related.

Can an organization trade fans? Because I propose we trade Woo and Jay to Oakland/Las Vegas for a box of Cracker Jacks.
Start a gofundme and pay them to take Adam and Jay, I don't think they'd give up the Cracker Jacks.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3
It's 96 and sunny in his area today. I bet he goes to WDW today and puts out a vlog tomorrow with something like "KILLER HEAT FRIES ME in Magic Kingdom" or something else clickbait to try to get views up.

Remember when he was going to be going swimming a lot? In all the different Celebration pools he has access to? Wonder when that will start...
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Wow
Reactions: 10
Remember when he was going to be going swimming a lot? In all the different Celebration pools he has access to? Wonder when that will start...
Please God no. Someone would post screen grabs of David shirtless and I would lose my lunch.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sick
Reactions: 7
Please God no. Someone would post screen grabs of David shirtless and I would lose my lunch.
But I'd love to see him try it, bringing the camera on the little tripod to the public pool. Or I guess he'd bring the GoPro, but still, he'd be talking to it. He'd have to try to find a time when no one is there, otherwise fellow swimmers will freak out. Hell, even if the lifeguard sees him talking to the camera, they will be like, what the hell is this guy doing? And heaven help him if there are any kids around...
 
  • Like
Reactions: 6
I know this is nitpicky but I cringe every time he says he goes to "Tampa Bay."

Is he going to the water? Cuz that's the water.

Please, David. Just either say St. Pete or bleeping say the Tampa Bay AREA. Tampa Bay is NOT a city.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 8
It's 96 and sunny in his area today. I bet he goes to WDW today and puts out a vlog tomorrow with something like "KILLER HEAT FRIES ME in Magic Kingdom" or something else clickbait to try to get views up.

Remember when he was going to be going swimming a lot? In all the different Celebration pools he has access to? Wonder when that will start...
Being 96 would be a great day to go swimming at his condo pool , but …
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 5
It's 96 and sunny in his area today. I bet he goes to WDW today and puts out a vlog tomorrow with something like "KILLER HEAT FRIES ME in Magic Kingdom" or something else clickbait to try to get views up.

Remember when he was going to be going swimming a lot? In all the different Celebration pools he has access to? Wonder when that will start...
You called it!!! 🤣
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 9
Oh noes, it's hot in Florida. That's something that never happens!

He'll go swimming when he starts half marathon training.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 8
Usually it's forbidden to be filming at public pools. Or he could face the ire of a parent who sees this shady looking guy with prison tats holding a camera in his hand. David is just asking for trouble if "pool hopping" around Celebration is one of his ideas for future content.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5
If he hates the heat so much, maybe David should move somewhere cold, like Alaska.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 11
You called it!!! 🤣
1715355529078.png


"HEATWAVE at Magic Kingdom" :rolleyes: I mean, I had a 20% shot before I put any thought into it because he only does 5 general activities when he's home, and he said he almost did it yesterday, so I can't even say I impressed myself.

When he's home, not only does he have the same 5 general vlog activities, he has the same 5 general "vlog intro" spots: his living room, downtown Celebration, the overpass with the Mickey power pole, the "art deco" 7-11, and the shaded walking/running trail near his house that absolutely destroys what little quality his ancient camera has left with its complex shadows
1715356123714.png


He looks like he's a carnie checking out of the local no-tell motel, headed to the empty mall parking lot to begin setting up the portable tilt-a-whirl that he operates for the traveling fair while nipping from a flask in his back pocket. But no, he's going to the Magic Kingdom and complaining about the heat.

Adam notes that he took a shower before leaving the house. Makes me wonder if that's the exception and not the rule? Also, he wears a hat to an indoor baseball game, but doesn't wear a hat in 97 degree no cloud weather in the middle of the day to a theme park? Lots of white skin near that hairline buddy, you better watch out!

There are traditions in life. Many people like them. I like traditions. Every summer I go canoeing on the same stretch of river with my son, we've done it since he could swim at the age of 6 or 7. I have some old Christmas decorations I like to pull out and put up every year. Adam's traditions are not traditions, they are OCD rituals. He needs to see a doctor to help him. He has to stop at "heavy metal Mickey" every time he visits the MK. He has to call out the monorail every time he sees it anywhere. All the ridiculous alternative phrases he uses - the summer season can't ever arrive, it has to "rear it's head", he can't stop using them due to OCD. He has to wait for that Celebration clock to move before he can continue his day. He has to look at the ticket prices on the way in to the MK, and read them all out (even the ones for the other parks). He has to mention he has an AP. He has so many little rituals it is scary. It's why he can't stop going to ticketed, date-stamped events. I'm no doctor, I'm no OCD expert, but that's the way it seems to me.

He gets his HOT Joffrey's coffee (because there's no line) in the 97 degree heat before getting on the ferry (even though he's already hopped up on caffeine and talking so fast he calls it "the riverboat" twice). And the whole ride is just non-stop caffeine yapping and shaky camera zooms. Once he arrives, he has to look at the posters under the train station just like he always does. Then on to the merch, like he always does. Rides the riverboat. Goes and looks at Tiana's construction. Notes the gift shops will be open but they weren't open for Splash "in recent years", doesn't comment why that might be. Notes that empty logs are running through the ride and there are signs up and acts surprised - he knows these logs and signs have been there and that every Disney vlogger reported on them what, a month ago? And the sign says "Sorry", so you know he has to pull out the John Candy line from Vacation.

Drinks a water and rides Pirates. He always has to point out the spitting tikis in Adventureland and today he REALLY overexplains and talks fast like a maniac about which tiki is spitting, and manages to mention another Adam favorite topic, Dasani and salt, too. He proceeds into Tomorrowland and is still going a mile a minute. As always, he can't say Space Mountain without doing it in the Mickey voice, "Space...Mountain". He doesn't actually ride anything, he just walks around.

He heads into back of new Fantasyland and rides the train, then decides to take the boat to the Poly. He's slowed down his talking a bit, but still can't shut up for the most part. He finally quiets himself during the ride to the Poly, but at this point we're 32 minutes into a 34 min vlog and after being audibly assaulted by him for the last half hour, it's really hard to enjoy the silence boat ride. Then he ruins it anyway by breaking in and saying "golden hour goodness" and then he has to point out that monstrosity of a DVC tower they're building near the Poly.

More OCD monorail footage, then we're in the parking lot. You can just tell he's waiting around for the monorail to come by again so he can have that while he's saying he'll see you in the next video and the vlog is over. And that's exactly what he's doing.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 19
After three vlogs with leas than 40K clicks each, he has to return to Disney, even in the “HEATWAVE”, in a desperate attempt to get his views up.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 12
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.