blessmycottonsocks
Active member
I’m obviously not a fan of Scummy but your friend disclosing private medical information is just wrong.
ALovesMistress
Active member
Can confirm mads played up 
Sure…Media!
VIP Member
I’m pretty shaw she needed to shop for special school supplies. They’re on a unique curriculum at Runway Heights Primary and will start ground marshalling this term. They needs their own ear muffs, a textbook on hand signalling and those orange glow sticks which Mumma can borrow for her next festival.
Dippitybix
Well-known member
Can we please call it a day on the school holidays chat 
we're here to discuss ol mate
we're here to discuss ol mate
Chompers Chompers Chomper
Well-known member
Sophie Cachia #19 Relationship has been given the boot, Soph's on the prowl for a new human to root
TrainwreckinTulla
Chatty Member
Thread suggestion: Mads is off to Italy, Sophie's crying bitterly, solo parenting is fiddily and her book sales add up to diddily.
Sure…Media!
VIP Member
I thought this chick was drying up but it’s great to be back!!
Super thread title, and Mads
On today’s recrap…
The world’s tallest aviphobe spontaneously went in to a calorie deficit and an injectables bar, before jetting offno first class to Italy. Armed with an itinerary and planned outings, Soph gave no opportunity for her ‘home’ to have a say in things.
Sneakily, the EU arm of the ETC (Emaddicipation Tattlers Cohort) hatched a plot to rescue Maddie. They drugged the team coach, stole his phone, texted her and commanded instant obedience to comply and come home for her bball duties. Day trip to Cinque Terrified canned = pissed off wifey.
Inspired by the coercion, Tickets tried the same tactic to bring Maddie to Oz but that backfired like a 1974 Torana. Next minute, she found her fragile ass on a flight back to Tulla. Hopefully in the middle seat of cattle class. With any luck EmmyLou have her a cruise.
While we are all speculating as to what blew up, we’re all happy for Maddie. She shoots! She scores (allegedly)! Who cares? The only bball talent Soph has is dribbling all down the front of herself.
A loud roar in the distance… Unsure if it was the incoming Emirates flight from Dubai or the cheer of 1000 Garrick supporters, Sophie stared longingly out over the cyclone fence of the airport perimeter trying to work out what all the excitement was about.
This year is a bust. Isuzu failed
, the world book tour didn’t get any further than the Moe Centrelink 🪦and NB finally listed the marital home on the market and 
ties. We’re jelly.
As The Beatles sang, money can buy me love. She pitched for Glennon Doyle but instead got Arthur Conan Doyle. Now Sherlock has no ‘home’.
Super thread title, and Mads
On today’s recrap…
The world’s tallest aviphobe spontaneously went in to a calorie deficit and an injectables bar, before jetting off
Sneakily, the EU arm of the ETC (Emaddicipation Tattlers Cohort) hatched a plot to rescue Maddie. They drugged the team coach, stole his phone, texted her and commanded instant obedience to comply and come home for her bball duties. Day trip to Cinque Terrified canned = pissed off wifey.
Inspired by the coercion, Tickets tried the same tactic to bring Maddie to Oz but that backfired like a 1974 Torana. Next minute, she found her fragile ass on a flight back to Tulla. Hopefully in the middle seat of cattle class. With any luck EmmyLou have her a cruise.
While we are all speculating as to what blew up, we’re all happy for Maddie. She shoots! She scores (allegedly)! Who cares? The only bball talent Soph has is dribbling all down the front of herself.
A loud roar in the distance… Unsure if it was the incoming Emirates flight from Dubai or the cheer of 1000 Garrick supporters, Sophie stared longingly out over the cyclone fence of the airport perimeter trying to work out what all the excitement was about.
This year is a bust. Isuzu failed
, the world book tour didn’t get any further than the Moe Centrelink 🪦and NB finally listed the marital home on the market and ties. We’re jelly.As The Beatles sang, money can buy me love. She pitched for Glennon Doyle but instead got Arthur Conan Doyle. Now Sherlock has no ‘home’.
Sure…Media!
VIP Member
Thanks @b!tch_eating_crackers for the new thread! Title on point @meangorls
On today’s rechap…
If life was a sex position Soph would be reverse cowgirl because she’s going in thewrong One Direction and it doesn’t appear anyone over 25 would follow her.
Back in the tabloids, 3 glasses of wine deep at the basketball and returning the engagement ring to Mordor… so far nothing Gollum has been up to makes us jealoud. Turns out all that vag baiting with her EA meant nothing as she’s straight and how dare we assume otherwise.
Something needs to be done about her lips. Time to dissolve them. You can’t go slurping the hairy coconut if you can’t maintain proper cuntrol. Yep, she’s still a bit seckshul.
While there has been some self acknowledgement of the acquisition of a couple of kgs (or more likely, failure of filters) we at Tattle will commit to body positive language and from now on refer to it as “bulking for Survivor”.
Rumours are circulating Tickets might move somewhere down the Geelong way, where she’s gravitating towards some young clam shell or maybe the beach. My money is on her moving to Lara. It’s the only location that triangulates the airport, freeway and ocean. As with TigerAir we’ll be sad to see her leave Tulla but wish hera safe onward journey all the best.
Calling Erin Molan… Someone’s got the fanny flutters! Apparently now identifying as ‘buysexual’, the CEO of Notmuch Enterprises has been able to buy BWaB #3 with a shared gifted experience. After all, it’s a tried and tested dating approach.
Straight out of a Mills and Poon novel, we’re hoping this one makes it to next month.
Sophie loves Sophie but we already knew that. Some snarky Tattlers have pointed out the age difference, but fail to recognise the benefits of BWaB3 handing down her old school uniform and text books to the first born child in a couple of years.
The South Australian government didn’t exactly get value for their money with their latest *collab. We all remember Soph didn’t enjoy her time in Norwood. While she no longer gnaws wood, she hasn’t exactly been back to Adelaide in years. The highlight of the trip was front row of the Sam Smith concert with BWaB #3. They slow danced to Dancing With A Stranger. Ironic. We won’t be making any further comment. Until the paps catch us at Westfield food court this week.
Look what you made me do
I’m with somebody new
Oooo Maddie Maddie I’m dancing with your doppelgänger
The 2nd born child had a birthday and her mother got her hairy style out in a bikini for a photoshoot with a sponsored cake featuring some guys in a boyband who broke up the year Floss was born. It’s genuinely beautiful seeing 2 ex co-parents together, whilst sharing bikini bottoms. #coparentinggoals
We’ve finally seen some footage from the Sadsack For Lease Sat In The Gutter podcast. We imagine housekeeping will be pissed when they realise she used the bedsheets as a cubby house. We’ll see what mood I’m in when it airs. I’m not sure I can take one for the team #suremedia
Oh, hang on. She’s single again. Someone tell Margot Robbie.
@meangorls On today’s rechap…
If life was a sex position Soph would be reverse cowgirl because she’s going in the
Back in the tabloids, 3 glasses of wine deep at the basketball and returning the engagement ring to Mordor… so far nothing Gollum has been up to makes us jealoud. Turns out all that vag baiting with her EA meant nothing as she’s straight and how dare we assume otherwise.
Something needs to be done about her lips. Time to dissolve them. You can’t go slurping the hairy coconut if you can’t maintain proper cuntrol. Yep, she’s still a bit seckshul.
While there has been some self acknowledgement of the acquisition of a couple of kgs (or more likely, failure of filters) we at Tattle will commit to body positive language and from now on refer to it as “bulking for Survivor”.
Rumours are circulating Tickets might move somewhere down the Geelong way, where she’s gravitating towards some young clam shell or maybe the beach. My money is on her moving to Lara. It’s the only location that triangulates the airport, freeway and ocean. As with TigerAir we’ll be sad to see her leave Tulla but wish her
Calling Erin Molan… Someone’s got the fanny flutters! Apparently now identifying as ‘buysexual’, the CEO of Notmuch Enterprises has been able to buy BWaB #3 with a shared gifted experience. After all, it’s a tried and tested dating approach.
Straight out of a Mills and Poon novel, we’re hoping this one makes it to next month.
Sophie loves Sophie but we already knew that. Some snarky Tattlers have pointed out the age difference, but fail to recognise the benefits of BWaB3 handing down her old school uniform and text books to the first born child in a couple of years.
The South Australian government didn’t exactly get value for their money with their latest *collab. We all remember Soph didn’t enjoy her time in Norwood. While she no longer gnaws wood, she hasn’t exactly been back to Adelaide in years. The highlight of the trip was front row of the Sam Smith concert with BWaB #3. They slow danced to Dancing With A Stranger. Ironic. We won’t be making any further comment. Until the paps catch us at Westfield food court this week.
Look what you made me doI’m with somebody new
Oooo Maddie Maddie I’m dancing with your doppelgänger
The 2nd born child had a birthday and her mother got her hairy style out in a bikini for a photoshoot with a sponsored cake featuring some guys in a boyband who broke up the year Floss was born. It’s genuinely beautiful seeing 2 ex co-parents together, whilst sharing bikini bottoms. #coparentinggoals
We’ve finally seen some footage from the Sadsack For Lease Sat In The Gutter podcast. We imagine housekeeping will be pissed when they realise she used the bedsheets as a cubby house. We’ll see what mood I’m in when it airs. I’m not sure I can take one for the team #suremedia
Oh, hang on. She’s single again. Someone tell Margot Robbie.
Sure…Media!
VIP Member
It’s that time of year when we reflect on the miracle of Christmas and rejoice over our authentic idol, a spiritual leader whose teachings form the basis of the media dreams of billions of female businesswomen around the world.
In keeping Christmas traditions alive, the ultimate coparents woke up in the same house and… shit, scrap that.
When Maddie mistakenly left for the airport withoutKevin Sophie, she awakens to an empty house and assumes her wish to have no famiglia has come true. Unable to fend for herself, she booby trapped the house and scared off any would-be burglars with that artwork on the wall. She did such a good job of setting a trap that she locked herself in the escape room and blamed the PA for not tipping off the Daily Mail to dob in the builder for warranty works. We’re thinking she may have smacked herself in the face with the iron booby trap though. No other way to explain that burnt orange hue.
She was all alone, with nothing but her the tickets on herself. In an effort to find some human connection she wandered across to the international terminal to try and reenact the opening scenes of Love Actually. But she was all alone. It was eerily quite, like a zombie apocalypse.
3 wise men came by, bearing gifts for Messiah Carey… but as they were wise, they cottoned on and left asap.
The first of the gifts: $20 Bunnings voucher was worth its weight in gold. Unfortunately there was no one to share it with as she was all alone. Not a soul in sight. Breathless from the vape, she carried on, searching for someone to spend Christmas with. Not even the Ghost of Christmas Present would hang around.
The second gift: Frankinsensitive, an aromatic resin for people who think their shit don’t stink. There was no one to help buy Christmas presents while she was on holidays all year and Santa sure as hell wasn’t going to help wrap them. We were all reminded of that passage in the book, no not the Bible, that other best seller, where MummaG wouldn’t help dress Soph. All alone, she had to navigate Highpoint with 48 hours to spare. Where is the Christmas miracle? AND where the hell was everybody?
The third and final gift: MyrrrcDonalds, a wholesome treat for the weary traveller who was all alone at Christmas and with 2 hungry mouths to feed. She managed to get her business a birthday cake this year, but again no time to shop for the shitheads. She was all alone. If only she had a dog or 2. Sadly, no one to spend the day with.
Crudolph the brown nose reindeer got glammed up in search of someone to snog under the cameltoe. Stumbling across a large group of people who shared genetic similarities to her, she couldn’t help but offend all the children peacefully dining before sneaking out and making a little ‘me time’ to eye herself off in her phone in the hope of attracting a mate with some thirst trap. Sadly any remaining AFLW players had gone back to the country to see their families. In the other direction. Far away.
Do not despair my angels. This tale has a happy ending. Not in a headboard banging way, or even a fanny fluttering way. Similar to the beautiful story of bromance in Love Actually, old mate found some bestie who looks like Billy Mack to hang with for the remainder of the day rather than getting laid.
Just remember, while a Christmas miracle never happened, the true spirit of Boxing Day may still happen for this middle aged suburban mum. We cross our fingers Sophia finds herself a new box and can hold on to her for next Christmas.
In keeping Christmas traditions alive, the ultimate coparents woke up in the same house and… shit, scrap that.
When Maddie mistakenly left for the airport without
She was all alone, with nothing but her the tickets on herself. In an effort to find some human connection she wandered across to the international terminal to try and reenact the opening scenes of Love Actually. But she was all alone. It was eerily quite, like a zombie apocalypse.
3 wise men came by, bearing gifts for Messiah Carey… but as they were wise, they cottoned on and left asap.
The first of the gifts: $20 Bunnings voucher was worth its weight in gold. Unfortunately there was no one to share it with as she was all alone. Not a soul in sight. Breathless from the vape, she carried on, searching for someone to spend Christmas with. Not even the Ghost of Christmas Present would hang around.
The second gift: Frankinsensitive, an aromatic resin for people who think their shit don’t stink. There was no one to help buy Christmas presents while she was on holidays all year and Santa sure as hell wasn’t going to help wrap them. We were all reminded of that passage in the book, no not the Bible, that other best seller, where MummaG wouldn’t help dress Soph. All alone, she had to navigate Highpoint with 48 hours to spare. Where is the Christmas miracle? AND where the hell was everybody?
The third and final gift: MyrrrcDonalds, a wholesome treat for the weary traveller who was all alone at Christmas and with 2 hungry mouths to feed. She managed to get her business a birthday cake this year, but again no time to shop for the shitheads. She was all alone. If only she had a dog or 2. Sadly, no one to spend the day with.
Crudolph the brown nose reindeer got glammed up in search of someone to snog under the cameltoe. Stumbling across a large group of people who shared genetic similarities to her, she couldn’t help but offend all the children peacefully dining before sneaking out and making a little ‘me time’ to eye herself off in her phone in the hope of attracting a mate with some thirst trap. Sadly any remaining AFLW players had gone back to the country to see their families. In the other direction. Far away.
Do not despair my angels. This tale has a happy ending. Not in a headboard banging way, or even a fanny fluttering way. Similar to the beautiful story of bromance in Love Actually, old mate found some bestie who looks like Billy Mack to hang with for the remainder of the day rather than getting laid.
Just remember, while a Christmas miracle never happened, the true spirit of Boxing Day may still happen for this middle aged suburban mum. We cross our fingers Sophia finds herself a new box and can hold on to her for next Christmas.
absoluteshockingfarts
New member
This sounds super, super personal 
ActiveLies
VIP Member
She should just grow her hair long, dye it blonde, chuck it in a bun then fuck herself all day long. There’s nobody that loves Soph more than Soph loves Soph. She clearly has a type when it comes to physical attraction. Just cut out the middle man and be completely in love with yourself, you know you wanna.
2ndavenue
Member
btw who was the person earlier who guessed maybe MG engaged in some non-monogamous behaviour w/out permission bc thats sounding to be an ok guess 
Genuinely not trying to be a cunt here but Bobbys bedroom wall must be a bit uncomfy now
Sure…Media!
VIP Member
Sorry guys. Stuck in a 6 hour meeting about myself…
Next Tattlers book club meet up will be the northern underpass of the Essendon train station. B.Y.O. ciggies and bitter resentment to your domestic life partner. Catering by Bowls Baby.
Tickets from Tulla continued to make sure 2022 was the year to make us jealous, 5 out of 7 days a week. Channeling her best Billy Ray Cyrus, she debuted a new mullet. We spent the entire thread barn dancing along to the soundtrack of her heartbreak and misfortunes. Her ability to sell the hair salon is something akin to selling a vibrator without batteries. Something is missing and no one is leaving happy.
Suffering one too many knocks on the bedhead, old mate was clearly a little dazed and confused when she launched in to an online rant at, well, everyone. Maddie was clearly to blame for leaving her on her own with her phone and focusing on her ‘career’.
From the confines of her walk in robe, we were blessed with a lucrative and authentic thesis around the analytics of why we hate follow her only to make her so much more famous because everything that’s ever published is a lie and there is absolutely no way she mislead consumers and her partnering business totes didn’t throw her under the bus or anything.
All those facial expressions didn’t seem to correspond with her emotions though. Appears there’s been a bit more cheek filler. Looks a bit like a squirrel with a bunch of nuts in her mouth. Although from what we gather it’s been a couple of years since that last happened.
Next stop on the world book tour was, hang on, I can’t seem to find it in my calendar. Caitlin? Where are you? Hopefully scoping new locations for our tour in Italy! Don’t leave me here all alone to pack my fire sale lipsticks by myself!
Flexing her boundaries, she decided not to acknowledge her older sister’s birthday but her ex brother in law got a shout out. The new in-laws to be also got a dinner party invite in the clit-chen. Awkwardly half her food now seems to miss her lips and get dribbled down her top. Or in the bed. We’re expected to believe someone with their @unt on the kitchen wall… and disclosed to the world her child isn’t wearing underwear… has boundaries.
The Swedish chef took us through an incoherent and angry cooking demo & managed to eat the props from the cocktail #gift before even giving that a crack. Q&A with the inferiorcoroner designer happened on a night away at a hotel because there’s no place like (being away from) home.
There was another anxiety driven rant caused by the EA travelling overseas, the Ex moving out of town and Maddie focusing on her “career”. Suddenly she’s surprised she has to do everything herself, like the rest of us plebs. Given this is the same chick who whinged in a book that her mother wouldn’t dress her I don’t know why we’re all surprised Maddie is copping crap for not cutting her crusts off, wiping her butt or giving her milk in the pink cup, not the yellow cup.
The make up empire ‘for all humans’ posted, then retracted the Little Miss(ed the mark) picture
is…Failing to answer any customer service queries She’s…Making up new words like shacket & maueve whilst…Hiring out the warehouse to anyone who wants to emulate her seck-shoe-elle-ness. 2022 is the year we’ll all be jealous.
We hope Florence also enjoys tagging along to Italy for that long promised 5year old solo overseas trip to Florence that she’s been looking forward to for years. We can’t wait to vicariously live through Soph and experience Italy on her 2 weeks away from her babies. We know how much she hates leaving them. She’s a trooper.
Next Tattlers book club meet up will be the northern underpass of the Essendon train station. B.Y.O. ciggies and bitter resentment to your domestic life partner. Catering by Bowls Baby.
Tickets from Tulla continued to make sure 2022 was the year to make us jealous, 5 out of 7 days a week. Channeling her best Billy Ray Cyrus, she debuted a new mullet. We spent the entire thread barn dancing along to the soundtrack of her heartbreak and misfortunes. Her ability to sell the hair salon is something akin to selling a vibrator without batteries. Something is missing and no one is leaving happy.
Suffering one too many knocks on the bedhead, old mate was clearly a little dazed and confused when she launched in to an online rant at, well, everyone. Maddie was clearly to blame for leaving her on her own with her phone and focusing on her ‘career’.
From the confines of her walk in robe, we were blessed with a lucrative and authentic thesis around the analytics of why we hate follow her only to make her so much more famous because everything that’s ever published is a lie and there is absolutely no way she mislead consumers and her partnering business totes didn’t throw her under the bus or anything.
All those facial expressions didn’t seem to correspond with her emotions though. Appears there’s been a bit more cheek filler. Looks a bit like a squirrel with a bunch of nuts in her mouth. Although from what we gather it’s been a couple of years since that last happened.
Next stop on the world book tour was, hang on, I can’t seem to find it in my calendar. Caitlin? Where are you? Hopefully scoping new locations for our tour in Italy! Don’t leave me here all alone to pack my fire sale lipsticks by myself!
Flexing her boundaries, she decided not to acknowledge her older sister’s birthday but her ex brother in law got a shout out. The new in-laws to be also got a dinner party invite in the clit-chen. Awkwardly half her food now seems to miss her lips and get dribbled down her top. Or in the bed. We’re expected to believe someone with their @unt on the kitchen wall… and disclosed to the world her child isn’t wearing underwear… has boundaries.
The Swedish chef took us through an incoherent and angry cooking demo & managed to eat the props from the cocktail #gift before even giving that a crack. Q&A with the inferior
There was another anxiety driven rant caused by the EA travelling overseas, the Ex moving out of town and Maddie focusing on her “career”. Suddenly she’s surprised she has to do everything herself, like the rest of us plebs. Given this is the same chick who whinged in a book that her mother wouldn’t dress her I don’t know why we’re all surprised Maddie is copping crap for not cutting her crusts off, wiping her butt or giving her milk in the pink cup, not the yellow cup.
The make up empire ‘for all humans’ posted, then retracted the Little Miss(ed the mark) picture
is…Failing to answer any customer service queries She’s…Making up new words like shacket & maueve whilst…Hiring out the warehouse to anyone who wants to emulate her seck-shoe-elle-ness. 2022 is the year we’ll all be jealous.
Chompers Chompers Chomper
Well-known member
Sophie Cachia #15: You're and your are hard to master, Maddie can't get to Italy faster, solo parenting is proving a disaster.
Sure…Media!
VIP Member
Thanks @TrainwreckinTulla for a title that writes itself.
Its hard to find comedy in tragedy but I tried my best…
Finally had some time to slap together a recrap in the last Sure Media team meeting. My dog took the minutes. Also barked at the postman.
Over in Bali, our CEO made the most of the sights and experiences by hanging out on her phone and picking a fight with Lyn from Suburbia, yet sadly lost. Such a bewdifully authentic spiritual experience. We hope Emmylou adds that to her itinerary. Then straight back to her babies. Who she hardly posts about anymore. And totally only does with their consent.
We saw much more of the house. Like it’s owner, it’s had a lot of work but still feels really empty inside. The necromantics in us just swooned. Showcasing all the fabulous storage, we squealed with delight when we slid back the island bench to discover the mummy of Tutankhamen and a gold statue of Anubis. Straight to the pool room.
Time for a new hair colour. Much flex. The day Floss was accepted in to Sunshine TAFE hairdressing was the proudest day of our lives. Sadly, still on an apprentice wage, she’s struggling with clip in extensions. Bangs on point tho.
Throwing a no-expenses-spared party, Yahoo Cachia ordered some pizza and decorated the house with balloons and streamers. We played some Pictionary but got stuck on the clue. Then it dawned on us when we saw the red, white and green draped over the nudie artwork. Maddie is off to Clitaly. Thankfully the vagine visual on the wall was finally covered up. We all took a little time to hug our own mums and thank them for not engaging in pussy pictorials over the dinner table or decals of our step parents in our bedrooms.
The worlds most sexual mortgagee seemed to know that interest rates have risen and took on a little side hustle to make ends meet. Not since The Simpsons have we enjoyed doing all our shopping at a convenience store. And enjoying office views of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Next we’ll be seeing Lunch Lady Doris working behind the counter of Canteen Cafe at the markets… come to think of it
It’s been so long between holidays, so time to treat herself. Unfortunately, airport security had found time to repair the hole in the perimeter cyclone fencing, meaning the tallest CEO was unable to make her flight in time. With the VIP entrance from Terminal 5 blocked off, she had to pass through security with the rest of the school holiday plebs. Thankfully she was also able to find a suitable excuse to pin it on, rather than take ownership of her lack of time management. After succumbing to a pat down of her Pokemon cards, security confiscated her rare gold Pikachu, 2 Bakugan and her Ladybug Miraculous. Dennis Denuto will be drafting an official complaint letter.
Sitting by the pool on an #invitedcollabwhenIgetaroundtoit holiday with the fam, the former MVP of the Diamonds read a 4th edition reprint of her breast selling me-mwah whilst reviewing her lucrative business portfolio and what to write off for EoFY. Hopefully someone will be Missing In Action.
Its hard to find comedy in tragedy but I tried my best…
Finally had some time to slap together a recrap in the last Sure Media team meeting. My dog took the minutes. Also barked at the postman.
Over in Bali, our CEO made the most of the sights and experiences by hanging out on her phone and picking a fight with Lyn from Suburbia, yet sadly lost. Such a bewdifully authentic spiritual experience. We hope Emmylou adds that to her itinerary. Then straight back to her babies. Who she hardly posts about anymore. And totally only does with their consent.
We saw much more of the house. Like it’s owner, it’s had a lot of work but still feels really empty inside. The necromantics in us just swooned. Showcasing all the fabulous storage, we squealed with delight when we slid back the island bench to discover the mummy of Tutankhamen and a gold statue of Anubis. Straight to the pool room.
Time for a new hair colour. Much flex. The day Floss was accepted in to Sunshine TAFE hairdressing was the proudest day of our lives. Sadly, still on an apprentice wage, she’s struggling with clip in extensions. Bangs on point tho.
Throwing a no-expenses-spared party, Yahoo Cachia ordered some pizza and decorated the house with balloons and streamers. We played some Pictionary but got stuck on the clue. Then it dawned on us when we saw the red, white and green draped over the nudie artwork. Maddie is off to Clitaly. Thankfully the vagine visual on the wall was finally covered up. We all took a little time to hug our own mums and thank them for not engaging in pussy pictorials over the dinner table or decals of our step parents in our bedrooms.
The worlds most sexual mortgagee seemed to know that interest rates have risen and took on a little side hustle to make ends meet. Not since The Simpsons have we enjoyed doing all our shopping at a convenience store. And enjoying office views of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Next we’ll be seeing Lunch Lady Doris working behind the counter of Canteen Cafe at the markets… come to think of it
It’s been so long between holidays, so time to treat herself. Unfortunately, airport security had found time to repair the hole in the perimeter cyclone fencing, meaning the tallest CEO was unable to make her flight in time. With the VIP entrance from Terminal 5 blocked off, she had to pass through security with the rest of the school holiday plebs. Thankfully she was also able to find a suitable excuse to pin it on, rather than take ownership of her lack of time management. After succumbing to a pat down of her Pokemon cards, security confiscated her rare gold Pikachu, 2 Bakugan and her Ladybug Miraculous. Dennis Denuto will be drafting an official complaint letter.
Sitting by the pool on an #invitedcollabwhenIgetaroundtoit holiday with the fam, the former MVP of the Diamonds read a 4th edition reprint of her breast selling me-mwah whilst reviewing her lucrative business portfolio and what to write off for EoFY. Hopefully someone will be Missing In Action.
itsspelleddivinenotdevine
Chatty Member
I don’t get why they’re always so rugged up inside the house? Like, Maddie is always in a big puffer jacket…did she not get any heating put in? No reverse cycle? Not even a bar heater in the living room?
Toilet toothbrush
Active member
This was my favorite moment in 2022.
Attachments
Sure…Media!
VIP Member
Thanks for the new thread @screenfreelookatme Great job bestie. Sorry to hear you missed out on those Christmas pyjamas. Awesome title, Me! You’re also my bestie and I would gladly let you take selfies in the toilet with my newborn. Just please close the lid next time.
On this week’s recrap:
Welcome to the rebirth era! Like fish and chips, revenge is a dish served wrapped up in newspaper. Tickets from Terminal 5 tried unsuccessfully to milk the breakup by showing off in the tabloids that she has moved on.
In an effort to prove how seckshul she is, one of the headline opportunities was to be snapped outside Sexyland. Weekly Wednesday paparazzi photos seem to be ol’ Soph’s new bizness venture. Remember what your nana said about playing with yourself makes you go blind? Trailblazer Soph bucked that theory and has now miraculously shed her glasses in her effort to get hot. Oh, and shed eating. Let’s casually celebrate that even though our ex had an ED and we know it’s bad but how good is it to be hot for summer?
Short on a collab narrative for her mirrors, we were lead to believe she does housework and changes her PA’s bedding when she cleans. Dangerously, the PA risks 7 years of bad luck with every head banging sesh. Soph couldn’t resist highlighting how it makes her horny. We now all understand why she has a housekeeper. It would be incredibly awkward explaining to visitors why she doesn’t need a bucket to mop.
We’re so proud at how quickly she’s bounced back from her heartache. Turns out Alannah wasn’t though and a swift C&D was issued to any media outlet who dared sully her good name with rekindle goss. Someone needs to fire their social media girl. Totally bipolar, like the weather in Melbourne. Goes to prove her love was as deep as a puddle and all that nurturing, understanding and relatability means sweet FA to all her exes. BTW, in case you missed it, she’s horny.
Sadly, she was unable to attend her brother in law’s birthday due to (probably) not being invited and had to come up with a counter-plan with a new bestie. Can’t wait to find out which young athletes she’s going tooverpower empower and inspire this time. Be you, not carbon copies of your next partner Sophia. All the photoshop, fat freezing, frail-baiting and new wardrobe isn’t fooling us!
Sadly, unable to accept an invitation to appear on the current season of Survivor as a villain, Soph shacked up at Sydney’s discount accom chain, Holiday Inn for some horny alone time. Something is afoot. Wejust don’t care what can’t wait to finally feel jealous in 2022.
We’re about to find out AGAIN what happens when an ill-conceived premise leads to even more jaw-droppingly misguided execution. *cough* book tour *cough* Will she be laughing all the way to the bank? Is there someone in that bank who can lock her inside a safety-deposit vault and throw away the key?
It was a happy ending anyway. She rushed home to see her babies. As the pilot lowered the landing gear, she tumbled out and landed gracefully in the pool. Like the rest of us housewives, Caitlin was delighted to hand back the kids to the other parent and is looking forward to some me time this weekend.
Now, excuse me while I go make out with my calla lily. Until now, rooting a plant was something I’d only done with weeds. Her hornbagness has rubbed off on me.
On this week’s recrap:
Welcome to the rebirth era! Like fish and chips, revenge is a dish served wrapped up in newspaper. Tickets from Terminal 5 tried unsuccessfully to milk the breakup by showing off in the tabloids that she has moved on.
In an effort to prove how seckshul she is, one of the headline opportunities was to be snapped outside Sexyland. Weekly Wednesday paparazzi photos seem to be ol’ Soph’s new bizness venture. Remember what your nana said about playing with yourself makes you go blind? Trailblazer Soph bucked that theory and has now miraculously shed her glasses in her effort to get hot. Oh, and shed eating. Let’s casually celebrate that even though our ex had an ED and we know it’s bad but how good is it to be hot for summer?
Short on a collab narrative for her mirrors, we were lead to believe she does housework and changes her PA’s bedding when she cleans. Dangerously, the PA risks 7 years of bad luck with every head banging sesh. Soph couldn’t resist highlighting how it makes her horny. We now all understand why she has a housekeeper. It would be incredibly awkward explaining to visitors why she doesn’t need a bucket to mop.
We’re so proud at how quickly she’s bounced back from her heartache. Turns out Alannah wasn’t though and a swift C&D was issued to any media outlet who dared sully her good name with rekindle goss. Someone needs to fire their social media girl. Totally bipolar, like the weather in Melbourne. Goes to prove her love was as deep as a puddle and all that nurturing, understanding and relatability means sweet FA to all her exes. BTW, in case you missed it, she’s horny.
Sadly, she was unable to attend her brother in law’s birthday due to (probably) not being invited and had to come up with a counter-plan with a new bestie. Can’t wait to find out which young athletes she’s going to
Sadly, unable to accept an invitation to appear on the current season of Survivor as a villain, Soph shacked up at Sydney’s discount accom chain, Holiday Inn for some horny alone time. Something is afoot. We
We’re about to find out AGAIN what happens when an ill-conceived premise leads to even more jaw-droppingly misguided execution. *cough* book tour *cough* Will she be laughing all the way to the bank? Is there someone in that bank who can lock her inside a safety-deposit vault and throw away the key?
It was a happy ending anyway. She rushed home to see her babies. As the pilot lowered the landing gear, she tumbled out and landed gracefully in the pool. Like the rest of us housewives, Caitlin was delighted to hand back the kids to the other parent and is looking forward to some me time this weekend.
Now, excuse me while I go make out with my calla lily. Until now, rooting a plant was something I’d only done with weeds. Her hornbagness has rubbed off on me.