IdeletedbutI'mbackagain
VIP Member
Honest to God, the idea of a takeaway is always so much better than the reality!! They always disappoint me.
fishyfishfish
VIP Member
So proud of everyone who’s smashing it out there!!! I got my annual bonus and immediately started holiday planning. In our household, my bonus = our holiday. So some years it’s a walk in a nearby town and other years it’s a 5* all inclusive. Both are just as fun!
however, I’ve realised I have so much guilt attached to spending that I am trying to penny pinch at every turn, despite having enough to cover a holiday and putting half in savings. I realise what a fortunate position I’m in to have guilt around spending a bonus. I just still feel wracked with guilt about replacing my stolen headphones/booking a holiday even though I have the funds.
growing up poor really fucks you over, doesn’t it?
however, I’ve realised I have so much guilt attached to spending that I am trying to penny pinch at every turn, despite having enough to cover a holiday and putting half in savings. I realise what a fortunate position I’m in to have guilt around spending a bonus. I just still feel wracked with guilt about replacing my stolen headphones/booking a holiday even though I have the funds.
growing up poor really fucks you over, doesn’t it?
I've read an article about how our work life is designed to leave us dissatisfied and prone to spend more, it really resonated with me. I've been thinking about it a lot and re-evaluating my impulse purchases when I'm idle at work.
"...
But the 8-hour workday is too profitable for big business, not because of the amount of work people get done in eight hours (the average office worker gets less than three hours of actual work done in 8 hours) but because it makes for such a purchase-happy public. Keeping free time scarce means people pay a lot more for convenience, gratification, and any other relief they can buy. It keeps them watching television, and its commercials. It keeps them unambitious outside of work.
We’ve been led into a culture that has been engineered to leave us tired, hungry for indulgence, willing to pay a lot for convenience and entertainment, and most importantly, vaguely dissatisfied with our lives so that we continue wanting things we don’t have. We buy so much because it always seems like something is still missing."
"...
But the 8-hour workday is too profitable for big business, not because of the amount of work people get done in eight hours (the average office worker gets less than three hours of actual work done in 8 hours) but because it makes for such a purchase-happy public. Keeping free time scarce means people pay a lot more for convenience, gratification, and any other relief they can buy. It keeps them watching television, and its commercials. It keeps them unambitious outside of work.
We’ve been led into a culture that has been engineered to leave us tired, hungry for indulgence, willing to pay a lot for convenience and entertainment, and most importantly, vaguely dissatisfied with our lives so that we continue wanting things we don’t have. We buy so much because it always seems like something is still missing."
Silverback
VIP Member
I was scammed out of thousands of pounds this week by a trader. I am utterly distraught. Please don’t ever make the same mistake I did and ask their hourly rate before they start work and get a quote.
Prior to that I was in spendy mode. Was looking at insta too much and thinking I ‘needed’ new summer dresses and bits from the white company. Now I feel awfully guilty.
The events of this week have made me and my husband reevaluate our situation. We are thinking of moving house in order to release some cash and make our lives easier. This house seems riddled with problems and while there are good things about it we are thinking about moving to a cheaper area to lower our bills and release more cash back into our savings.
I’ve done a lot of cosmetic work on this house so it’s a shame. I completely made over both front and back gardens and recently painted the front door and put a gorgeous door knocker on it. This scam situation has made me reevaluate our situation though. We are a few thousand in debt and it really stresses me out. We can’t ever afford to go on holiday.
I just feel sick to my stomach right now.
Prior to that I was in spendy mode. Was looking at insta too much and thinking I ‘needed’ new summer dresses and bits from the white company. Now I feel awfully guilty.
The events of this week have made me and my husband reevaluate our situation. We are thinking of moving house in order to release some cash and make our lives easier. This house seems riddled with problems and while there are good things about it we are thinking about moving to a cheaper area to lower our bills and release more cash back into our savings.
I’ve done a lot of cosmetic work on this house so it’s a shame. I completely made over both front and back gardens and recently painted the front door and put a gorgeous door knocker on it. This scam situation has made me reevaluate our situation though. We are a few thousand in debt and it really stresses me out. We can’t ever afford to go on holiday.
I just feel sick to my stomach right now.
You've already booked the trip, I say you come to peace with the amount it'll cost and make the best of your time together in Paris
If you're mindful about your spending until then, I see no reason why a few days of break at a pretty city should make you feel guilty. It can also serve as a checkpoint in the year where you can reduce that amount (or come close to it) from any frivolous, unnecessary shopping and go on your holiday with a peace of mind. I hope you have a great time 
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Crybaby Tania
VIP Member
Thanks to the encouraging comments on this thread I have successfully completed my first ever low/no spend challenge. I've just got a little bit of spare cash left, but enough to get myself some premium bonds. Normally I would waste it on unnecessary clothes or cosmetics.
Not Now Bernard
Chatty Member
I’m in my 50s now but in my adult life I’ve done a grand total of 7 no spend years. It’s astonishing how much it can help household finances. Tbh it can be a bit depressing but you just need to stay focused on the bigger picture.
really_whythough
VIP Member
Just had some sad news shared with me and immediately started shopping for an unnecessary gift for the person affected. Why?! They won’t be expecting anything and probably don’t have time or energy to care. So strange how that’s my first instinct, to spend to show love. I probably do it for myself too. Need to practice just sitting with difficult feelings, not spending to make them go away (temporarily). 
marjorytrashheap
VIP Member
Totally understand this realisation, I had it a few years ago. And anyway, those fancy spice jars are a pain because they get dirty and smeared, the labels come off, and you have no idea how old the contents are. Ask me how I know
These days I just look around the house for things I can repurpose. For instance all my jewellery (I don't have much really) is in the bottom half of a few egg boxes in a drawer. No, I haven't painted the egg boxes or upcycled them in any way, I just ripped the lids off. I feel like it's a little rebellion against buying a bunch of fancy drawer inserts or 'crafting' something, haha.
Edited to add: every time I open that drawer I have a little moment of "fuck you Pinterest" - it feels good!
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jfletcher
VIP Member
As part of my no buy January, instead of popping into town and getting a serotonin boost from shopping, I’m aiming to declutter one storage space each Saturday.
I get the same serotonin boost but from seeing how neat and organised it can be, and, one cupboard in, it’s already making me confront how wasteful I am. There was so much unnecessary stuff in just one cupboard, cluttering up the space and showing me how much of my money ends up going on things that are shoved away, not needed, in a cupboard once the ‘new thing’ buzz has worn off.
I get the same serotonin boost but from seeing how neat and organised it can be, and, one cupboard in, it’s already making me confront how wasteful I am. There was so much unnecessary stuff in just one cupboard, cluttering up the space and showing me how much of my money ends up going on things that are shoved away, not needed, in a cupboard once the ‘new thing’ buzz has worn off.
TheArtisticMouse
VIP Member
For the first time in 2 years we’ve made it to pay day without using our overdraft 
my husband’s Xmas bonus has helped (he wasn’t eligible for one last year) but often that gets eaten up paying off credit card bills. This month I moved some into savings and we still have a bit of a buffer in our current account.
Also we were going to get McDonald’s as a treat yesterday (my 4yo was asking to get a drive thru) but we resisted and just took her to Aldi to buy some dinner instead. Tbf she counts this as a treat as well everyone is a winner.
my husband’s Xmas bonus has helped (he wasn’t eligible for one last year) but often that gets eaten up paying off credit card bills. This month I moved some into savings and we still have a bit of a buffer in our current account.
Also we were going to get McDonald’s as a treat yesterday (my 4yo was asking to get a drive thru) but we resisted and just took her to Aldi to buy some dinner instead. Tbf she counts this as a treat as well everyone is a winner.
Fledgling Psycho
VIP Member
I'm coming on this thread to keep myself accountable. My current ridiculous habit involves Just Eat. I allow myself a McDonald's breakfast once a month is kind of ok BUT as a sweet and chocolate addict it's more of a problem.
When I'm home (live alone) and there's no chocolate etc I end up using JE to get it delivered and add in overpriced other stuff to justify my behaviour.
A gain of a stone in weight and this harmful practice means I've deleted the app & resolve to conquer both problems, chocolate & JE.
When I'm home (live alone) and there's no chocolate etc I end up using JE to get it delivered and add in overpriced other stuff to justify my behaviour.
A gain of a stone in weight and this harmful practice means I've deleted the app & resolve to conquer both problems, chocolate & JE.
rainbowlemon
VIP Member
New work people gave me a gift to celebrate working X days. I embarrassed myself by automatically crying. It was just so unexpected. They also said “that they liked me and wanted me to stay”. 
Sickofinstacrap
Chatty Member
Made it to pay day without going into overdraft or withdrawing from savings! It’s my second month of maternity pay, I normally earn £900 more a month when I’m not on maternity and I’d spend every penny of it, always dipping in to savings. This is the second month where I’ve managed to save £500 and also £190 in our joint savings for being strict with food budget and having money left over 
I love this thread it’s like weight watchers holding me accountable for my actions lol
I love this thread it’s like weight watchers holding me accountable for my actions lol
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
This subject reminds me me of this clip I saw (on tiktok) of post war era children speaking about pocket money - you know how they all talk other worldly like “well I rather” etc. But what struck me was just how anti consumerism/spending they were? Like they were appalled at the idea of a little girl spending 8 shillings on sweeties, stunned that one kid got £1 pocket money and only saved ten shillings of it, any kid receiving pocket money mentioned premium bonds, idk it just stunned me what a shift in mindset we/even children have had over the past however many years. The only relevance of these ramblings to your post is that I personally wouldn’t prioritise travel over other items on my to do list or financial security/comfort, I think this is a super new phenomenon tbh, but also acknowledge we all need to find joy in our life too! There’s a balance to be struck.
Caffeine Fiend
VIP Member
I seen a thing last night that said 'do you really want the item or do you want people to know you have the item'
Its a form of seeking acceptance. It hit me hard.
Its a form of seeking acceptance. It hit me hard.
Silverback
VIP Member
I’ve been contemplating the insanity of Xmas spending. Spend more than we can afford to try and please our loved ones, and then the very next day everything goes into the sale. It’s nuts!!! And then we all march off to the stores again to buy more discounted thing. It’s mad, yet normalised.
Grizzlybear
VIP Member
You won’t use it, and if you do, someone might take/break a specific bit of it
go with Tupperwares for x amount if lunches, and if you get to say, 15 and you STILL need a bento, then get one. Yours truly, a lunchbox addict xxcesarea-tinajero
Active member
I've suffered from 'medicating' my depression with shopping for years - finally found some meds and therapy that works for me and I'm horrified by how much I've wasted etc. I've been selling stuff on vinted for the last month and I've cleared my entire credit card debt, will end the month out of my overdraft for the first time in 4 years, and actually will have something to put towards savings. I just wish i'd not wasted so much time/money before, could be in a much better place.
From now on I just need to not fall back into old habits, does anyone have any similar experience?
From now on I just need to not fall back into old habits, does anyone have any similar experience?