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Don't laugh but I feel like you are all walking round the shops and on the internet with me, so I'm mindful of my spending.
I can't believe how little I buy, but I love what I do.

I completed no buy January and it was so useful for forcing me to pay attention to my spending, track my money and deal with not being able to impulse purchase things. I thought I’d reflect on what I gained from it because it felt like a very positive start to 2024.

Writing down things I wanted in the notes app on my phone and forcing myself to wait worked. Often the stuff I wanted I didn’t even care enough about to write down, and there’s only two things still remaining that I still want a few weeks later.

I also started tracking my spending in a notebook rather than just relying on my budgeting app. The daily check in was really good for keeping an eye on what was going out and I felt more in control and aware of my spending than I have in ages.

I’ve shuffled my money around so my emergency fund is now in a high interest account with a different bank so I’m not seeing that money every day and easily able to transfer it back into my current account. Out of sight out of mind. And I’ve set up an account with Starling so my sinking fund is now separated into specific spots for each thing.

The other thing that really helped me were massively limiting my time on TikTok and who I follow on IG. I was consuming so much less content about what I should be buying and how I should be living my life and it’s made me want a lot less than I usually do.

Obviously a no buy isn’t sustainable forever but I feel like the month really helped me start building some good habits - and seeing my savings increase significantly has been a very good reward.

This is going to sound nuts, but go on TikTok/your social media platform of choice and look up Graceland, which is where literal Elvis lived (I know he’s problematic but bear with me on this!). Obviously it’s staged and you won’t see his pans soaking in the sink, but it really struck me how a superstar’s home looked decades ago versus what we’re constantly sold online from so called normal people…? Like obviously his furnishings, fittings etc are all luxe but there is just so much less STUFF than has been normalised in homes now. The wardrobes are smaller, even the dining room table is very normal, etc. Like I’ll never understand how we’ve gotten to a point where dressing rooms are so normalised, it’s not sustainable to have so many clothes you need to dedicate rooms to hoarding them? And trinkets/candles/bits on every surface.

Idk I’m not a minimalist by any means but we have to see the current status quo as the anomaly / a recent weirdness and not let it influence us, even if subconsciously. It’s very hard if on social media, however!

or JusRollWithIt said:

Anyone have that lady (American I think) pop up on their feed where she is walking usually holding a mug, saying “you do not need to buy anything from Amazon today. You do not need to buy anything from Walmart today. You do not need to buy anything from eBay today. You’re just bored.” I can’t remember her account name. But she has a good point and it is effective because it’s a bit jarring. It’s a message we almost never hear online.

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I work as a Postie and there are homes that literally have atleast one delivery from ASOS everyday. I genuinely think she sits there buying shit because she has nothing else to do.
There is a certain truth to that with weight gain as well. I've lost so much weight working for Royal Mail and it's not just the exercise, it's more the lack of time to even think about food, let alone eat it. Fill your time with meaningful things to do and the endless online shopping and weight gain will disappear and people would be happier.
As for not having the money, I don't think people realise how much they spend doing nothing.
Lets face it no one is going to be saying in 20 years time, do you remember that Thursday night when I sat on my own with a crap takeaway and spent £20 on Asos shite.
It's all been designed to get us to spend as much as possible without really being aware.
Money spent going out in your local community stays in the local community, buying shit on Amazon just adds to Bezos billions.

Does anyone else feel quite inadequate when it comes to money compared to their friends? A lot of my friends work in tech or IT and are on double my salary, and I can't help but feel resentful that it's much easier for them to get through life whereas I am here saying no to the constant holidays and dinners out they seem to go on.

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There is no denying the advantage general wealth can have., but watching the war in Gaza unfold changed me. As long as I can pay bills, have food, a roof over my head. Clean water that's all I need. How do you define success or happiness for yourself? Measure progress by your standards rather than external comparisons.

Approximately 16% of UK adults have no savings at all. There will always be someone richer, which is a universal truth. Fulfillment comes from appreciating what we can control, value, and build upon in our own lives.

In my view, having emotionally stable parents is one of the greatest advantages anyone can have. That's one thing I was always jealous of.

My best friend said she was jealous of the close relationship I had with all of my siblings. My brother is my best friend. We only have that because of the crazy parents and #trauma.

Feeling quite pleased with my little self … almost the month has gone by without me buying clothes, footwear, jewellery or anything frivolous

Curiouscupcake said:

That next TikTok buy won’t actually change your life. We are all sucked into this consumerist mentality of buying all these things will improve our lives when actually it’s the total opposite.

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This is so true, it can also be applied to other areas of life. E.g. a friend was so determined to buy her first house it literally consumed her. She was constantly having viewings, making offers, checking Rightmove day and night. It was obsessive. She got a house, moved in, just under a year. Now she thinks the house is too small and she wants to move to a bigger house, que Rightmove/viewings/offers.

My point being, we are all guilty of 'the grass is always greener' and whether that's something small like a Tiktok buy, or big like a housepurchase. We really need to unlearn the toxic mindset of thinking you'll be happy/satisfied once you reach the next material goal because it will literally never end

This thread is exactly what I need this year. I like to think I’m quite good with money - I pay off my credit card in full each month, I don’t have any debt - but I forced myself to sit down and review my savings and it was depressing how much I failed at saving money last year. I might not overspend but I definitely don’t underspend either.

It’s so easy to justify a £20 purchase here and a £30 there but it all adds up and I end up with a bunch of stuff I didn’t need and quite a lot of stuff that, depressingly, I don’t actually want.

I’m doing a no spend month to help reset everything and top up my savings and, this year, I really want to focus on correcting some bad habits that lead my spending astray:

This thread is def saving me money. I went to Sainsbury’s the other day and I would normally come away with extras- a houseplant, something from the clothes bit, and maybe something from the habitat section. These bits probably come to another £30 at least. I felt proud of myself for avoiding the extra expenditure.
I’m normally always feeling the urge to go to a shop as well- Dunelm or whatever. I feel the need to go there for some reason that doesn’t really matter and come away with stuff that doesn’t really matter. I haven’t done that for a week or two.

When I was young and there was a family event such as a wedding or party, my mother and sometimes my sisters used to make such a huge deal about what you were planning to wear. It started as soon as the invitation arrived. It was the big topic. I would tell them my plans and my mother in particular would say "Oh, that's not good enough - Dolly (my sister) is wearing such and such" (a very expensive brand) and how much it cost. This could go on for weeks.

I used to get very stressed about this and sometimes even bought new clothes (much reduced) to try to look the part.
Even when going out with a boyfriend my outfits were scrutinised and I was told "Can't you find something better?" Later my M-I-L used to eyeball me from head to toe as I went out and ask "Is that new?" and never give a compliment.

It left me with real anxiety surrounding getting dressed up. I realise now that I bought clothes as back ups for not good enough outfits. I have a lot of clothes all from eBay, Vinted and sales. I used to try to dress to please other people. I am now doggedly getting rid of these clothes either donating or selling them. I try not to worry about what I am going to wear for big occasions and to choose what I feel good in, which will also be comfortable and not too stand-out as that is not my personality.

I envy people who have fewer clothes and wear them with comfidence without all the anxiety. Clothes should be a form of self-expression - not a form of torture.

Welcome to the thread.

Benefits are supposed to help those who need them. I personally don’t see the issue with people claiming what they’re entitled to.

As a society we should support those who need them. More money is lost through vanity projects, dubious contracts and funding wars.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reading up on the psychological aspects of why we purchase certain things excessively. Regarding my multiple food shops I believe it’s because I grew up in a household where food was used as a controlling weapon. Do the wrong thing and you don’t get to eat etc … I need my traumatised brain to understand that nobody can starve me anymore. I’m 50 years old FFS you’d think I’d be over it by now

Catlady1 said:

Don’t be hard on me I don’t claim benefits.

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This thread does a really good job at being inclusive of people in a variety of situations and I don’t think comments like this are the most helpful. If someone has been deemed eligible for state support then good for them in claiming it?

Been thinking about other purchases recently that were a waste of money. £40 on a Charlotte Tilbury foundation that goes cakey in my pores. £8 on an Essie polish that chips off after 5 minutes. £35 on an Uniqlo jumper that is too cold to wear in winter (will be useful for spring tho). I’m sure there is other stuff that I’m forgetting.
Dunno about anyone else but I get bored by the grind of life- work/ kids/ responsibilities/ bills etc and get myself bits and bobs to bring a little brightness. There’s probably other ways to cheer myself up that don’t involve wasting cash…

heretoreaditall2019 said:

How’s everyone getting on this weekend?

Something to make you laugh and/or gag - I’ve just found a jar of pickled gherkins that expired in 2022. P sure it was from the pandemic as it had the yellow price stickers you only get in corner shops? I know that gives crusty smelly vibes (I’m not, promise lol) but I’m doing SO much better with my food hoarding problem. I’ve been running down freezer & cupboard foods, and those bizarre allegedly-healthy-but-probably-not crisps made of various beans/pulses/lentils to all but 3 packs. Same with pastas we’ve gone down to a normal amount to have in stock for a family of 3. Still have too many nuts but will just have them girl dinner style with lunches to run them down. The battle against myself continues lol.

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I hear you so much with this you are smashing it! I have actually run out of things the last few weeks. My fridge is empty apart from a normal amount of veg chilling in the drawer and a few accessories. No one died. A reasonable restock of pulses/rice arriving this week.

Beauty products I have been crazy good at getting to the bottom of several “lurkers” the last few weeks. I do need to restock a few bathroom bits but I’m so wary of taking the plunge? Similarly, I promised myself a slow fashion treat but I actually don’t know if I want it either? I will wear it but in summer so may wait til then…

I got paid last week and savagely paid myself, allocated budget pots, sinking funds, overpaid debt and bills (moderately but every little etc), whacked a chunk into various savers. I feel so at rest, and we’ve only been doing this thread a few months it’s the single best thing to happen to my mental health and bank balance in years

Well I’ve just been paid and no bill is overdue - so that’s a win.

Had to do the supermarket yesterday and stuck to the list rather than checking every aisle “just in case”. Steps count way down for a supermarket trip.

The more I declutter, the more I feel in control of my living space. Have half filled another bin bag for the chazzer including a pair of shoes I’ve only worn once. Was going to wear them yesterday but they pinched my feet just walking around the house - decided life’s too short for shoes which make your feet hurt. Someone else will appreciate them and have less fat feet!

I feel that spending money is conditioned in us from a young age, as a teenager we used to go to the shops for no reason other than something to do. There are no budgeting classes at school or teaching about how to be a good saver. You were very lucky if your parents taught you about the value of money.
Now the world is constantly telling us that the path to a better life is more. The advertising industry exsists to make us feel dissatisfied or broken so we constantly buy more stuff to fix us.
Well done to all of us here trying to fight the good fight against over consumption. For taking a pause before making purchases, having wish and wait lists and trying to be grateful for all the little things in life

I was reading an article about decluttering the other day and it had the usual mantras, but one stood out "can I live without it".
I shot upstairs to try it out on decluttering my clothes which I've been struggling with and was amazed at what I could live without.

I'm appreciating the unpacking of the motivations behind low quality spending.

Someone kindly posted a link to a video here with a low buy blogger talking about 'shopping related behaviours'. In her case, it was researching and price comparing for a new winter coat. In the time since I watched the video I have realised that the time I spend on shopping related behaviour is still wasteful - I am investing my time, energy and emotion into this research/speculative behaviour which leads me much closer to making a purchase. I am squandering things other than or in addition to money here.

So I am trying to break that cycle.

I felt so anxious today, it was a day of almost everything going wrong and words can't describe how much I wanted to make a big purchase, as if it will fix anything. I'm pleased that I managed to tear myself away from the websites. I could almost afford the Barbour jacket I like but also, it's completely unnecessary right now, as well as a massive expense out of the blue. I have no need for new clothing. I could spend that money on much better and needed things in the future. I already spent more than I hoped for for a dinner out with friends tonight, so I'll be sensible for the rest of the week and make the most of my new books and teas at home. I'm actually looking forward to that.