Curiouscupcake

Well-known member
Oof. This has hit home.
This is the reason I’ve really struggled with Christmas this year. We took a boot FULL to the charity shop today as I’ve been trying to declutter here and there and I’ve also sold a fair bit recently too. Got rid of a load of my daughters toys and am sickened at how much we have spent over the years just so she had gifts to open etc or we HAD to give people suggestions to get her something. this year I’ve cut right back, they do still have a few gifts each but nowhere near as much as normal. I’m also struggling with ideas, even experiences, for myself as I just see everything as a waste of money now. I’ve almost gone the other way. I’ve also realised how much excess so many of us have. My husband was talking to his mum about things to get me… handbags no, earrings no, pyjamas no. Partly because I am fussy but partly because I already have more than I really need or use. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have loads and loads of stuff but I rarely change my earrings for example and I have used the same handbag for 2 years and my purse I’ve had for 10 years and probably used for the last 6 or 7 years!

I almost hate how grinchy I’ve become as I see it all as a waste, I did a lovely workshop making something the other day. I rarely do these because I just think what am I going to do with the end result (painting or crochet item etc) so I don’t bother. I enjoyed it though and it was really lovely taking 2 hours out to do something just for me that isn’t doom scrolling.

I wish it meant we were not spending too much money but somehow we still do 🙈
 
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Right, I don't know what it is about this group/thread but it is honestly really helping me. I had a bag filled up in the M&S sale, I was going to buy it and I just went through everything in my bag and everything I had in it wasn't for right now, it was for oh for when I go back to work, that will be nice for next Christmas, oh that blazer will be lovely for when I am well enough to go out again etc. I didn't need any of it right now! So I emptied it and exited the app!!

That said, I might get that blazer though cause I can picture it with some stuff I have already...

Update: reviewed the blazer, it looked a lovely faded charcoal grey in the photo but is apparently navy so it's a no for me! I would have just bought that, had it delivered, been disappointed with the colour and just returned it before!
 
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hytuhh

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Currently doing a deep dive of all DD's and seeing what I can cut down. It annoys me that you'll be loyal to a company for years and years, but deals are only available for new customers. Or they won't offer you better rates, just let you know prices will be increasing.

For example I pay £23 a month with O2, it's due to go up to £25. I checked for better deals online and O2 came up with the same deal that I'm on but for £8!? So now I'm contacting them to see if they can switch me over. It's not an issue, it's just time consuming. I wish companies valued their customers more without us having to constantly barter and check pricing.
 
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50degreesnorth

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TK Maxx often have proper hiking boots online for cheap - if he doesn’t mind being in “last year’s colours”. In the same vein - sportsdirect.

It’s so amazing to see these positive stories as people reach the end of this 592 day month and payday and have done so well. I don’t get paid until Wednesday so hoping not to fuck up between now and then.

Went shopping in my own wardrobe yesterday and donated 3 bikinis that are too big for me and a bunch of summer dresses. Ditched the foundation which always made me look like an oompa loompah - I mean why was I keeping it? 🙄 ok getting to the point - I found a gorgeous cashmere jumper I’d completely forgotten about and only wore once before I got too fat. So a wee bit too f decluttering and a posh top. Result. Cost = 0.
 
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pinkmug

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People always compared themselves to others but I believe corporations who enabled social media, at least the current kind that allows us to observe others at their best is largely to blame. They couldn't find a better ad campaign than convincing people that *this* is the new normal. It's another reason I absolutely detest influencers and their shitty ad and Kindly Gifted culture. I can't believe it's normalised and you'll even see people who defend their lies and ads and overconsumption saying "well they have to make a living". Get a job then? How did this become a career?
 
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furbabies

Active member
January was going so well for me, I'd only spent £30 on unnecessary purchases and, to be fair, those are products I will use like creatine.

Unfortunately yesterday I went a little crazy and booked someone to paint our hall. It's been an ongoing project since the 6 week holiday last year... We don't have a ladder long enough to paint the stairwell and I just want the project finished. So that's a £180 I didn't have to spend but I'm going to be so glad I did once it's finished.
 
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fishyfishfish

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Massive win for me today. Went to 6 different shops to look for cotton kids jumpers (why are they all polyester/acrylic?) and didn’t buy a single thing for myself, despite all the sales. Before this thread/idea I would have probably spent a few hundred quid in the sales on shit I don’t need, and returned most but not all of it. Going to chuck some cash in my savings and celebrate this win by doing my nails whilst watching Below Deck.
 
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Love this thread! I hate shopping so I escape some of the traps other people are finding, but my problem is to wait till my clothes are literally rags and then panic-buy a load of crap online because I have a work do/fancy thing and have to look smart. Then I have to wear it because there's no time to get anything else, whether it fits or suits me or not. Or for e.g. I now have visible holes in the toes of both the boots I wear for work, so I've had to quickly buy whatever boots are left in my size that can do next day delivery because I've got a meeting, and I don't know if I like them. And the ones with holes in were bought under exactly the same circumstances a year ago, because the sole had fallen off the boots I was wearing till then. And I didn't like them either! They didn't fit properly and hurt to walk in. How do I get off this cycle of spending my money on crap I don't like? I can't "shop my closet" because there's no surprises in it, in fact there's almost nothing it it, because I don't clothes shop 😭. And yet I have a stack of things by the bed to put on Vinted that don't fit or I can't stand. HALP.
❤❤❤ this sounds like a degree of self neglect (an issue which I relate hard to so sending so much love)

I’d say can off shopping online for a bit, it adds a layer of complication that you could do without. As shit as it is, I’d try and prioritise shopping IRL. It’s perfectly fine to stick to one store, Uni Qlo do really nice basics inexpensively and dare I say M&S isn’t bad at the moment either. There’s no shame in literally going in and buying an outfit off a mannequin either, I used to laugh at my (now) husband when he told me this but they’re decent outfits so why not? Dresses are fab for simplicity too, as you just bung one on and you’re done (also cheaper to build a wardrobe if you’re starting from scratch). Re shoes - poss unpopular opinion but Clark’s originals are brilliant (desert boots, wallabees, etc) - they’re comfy, nice quality especially for the okay-ish price, and come in lots of diff colours. Focus on just making everything incrementally better - you don’t need the perfect filled wardrobe straight away, just 2 go to outfits you love & a decent pair of shoes. You can slowly build up on this and find more and more that you like ❤

Also remember that sales assistants can be amazingly helpful too. I finally admitted to myself I’ll never be pre pregnancy size and went into a Levi’s where everyone was under 25 and I thought they’d shun me like Quasimodo down from my bell tower but they were SO helpful I finally got some “nice” jeans post baby again.
 
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pinkmug

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Technically having the time doesn't necessarily translate to having the physical or mental energy to do those things though.

Speaking just for myself, If I count out the ideally 16 hours time I would spend at work/asleep, I should be left with 8 whole hours to do all I please. I work close to home, half an hour walk/longest commute. But I don't. Mornings are spent trying to get myself sorted to face the day ahead, I can't relax enough to read, make art or exercise when my eye is on the clock to avoid running late. When I'm back, I need to figure out what to eat, make sure I pick up after myself, clean/do laundry/do shopping/run errands. By the time those are over, I should still have a few good hours to myself, but then kicks in the anxiety of needing to spend my precious time off in rhe most perfect and relaxing/stimulating/engaging/enriching way possible. When I am ran rugged by the mental requirements of the day, nothing I do afterwards feels good enough to replenish my brain. I am left with the least time and energy consuming options of watching/reading stuff or the most likely for myself: idle scrolling and sometimes random shopping.

If someone is a better person than I am with regards to mental health and general way their brain functions, that time might be well enough to make them feel satisfied and refreshed. In my case, it does not. And I don't even have any kids, pets or dependants that I should care for.

Spending time outside is a great way to feel better and I agree with you that options to do that is being limited by lack of safe spaces and/or time, but personally, I don't need to socialise more. What I need is less hours spent in the office doing nothing and more time by myself to do the things I need to do, so I can have time left for things I want to do. I always find how little I'm interested in new purchases when I'm on holiday or having time off at home, because I'm relaxed, doing things I enjoy and I am mentally stimulated. I tend to peruse Amazon a lot more when I'm feeling stressed, cornered or burnt out.
 
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I’m having a sort out of Christmas things.
I’m actually embarrassed about the amount of Christmas tea towels I own that I deemed too pretty to use. This year I’m going to use them and going forward commit to not buying anymore. I feel like I do this a lot in life, I save too much for good when i should be using the stuff regularly especially if it brings me joy
 
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Kittylover2019

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I’ve done lots of returns the past two days.

I’m embarrassed to say it’s £250’s worth of bits and bobs of clothing. I tried on some orders yesterday which I had to return by yesterday or today and I only did that be because I was tidying my bedroom otherwise they would have been chucked to one side.

My husband said to me I’ve got a problem with shopping a while back and I’m beginning to think he has a point.

When I’ve looked at my wardrobe I’ve got a full corporate wardrobe (I don’t work), a massive selection of going out clothes (I rarely go out) etc etc. It’s like I’m shopping for fantasy lifestyles!
 
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Silverback

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I’m finding that focussing on big picture stuff is helping me be less spendy.

Would I rather buy this eyeliner or have another £30 to spend during my holiday?

Would I rather get my nails done or save that for a lovely day out?

If I avoid going to IKEA today I’ll have at least £50 extra in my bank account for necessities, and I won’t worry so much about having enough cash.
 
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Juju

Active member
Since joining this thread I’m so much more mindful about what I buy. I went to an outlet shopping village last week and bought one top for my daughter and nothing else, that’s unheard of for me. It’s like once you realise you don’t need to keep buying things for the sake of it, you really can just stop.
You’re all amazing and together we’re all making progress in spending less in our own way, some of us have saved more than others but that doesn’t matter, every £ saved is a step towards financial freedom in the future.
 
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mrs.darcy

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This is such a great thread. I'm trying to be more mindful of my spending this year as I spend a lot on inconsequential stuff. I know exactly what I buy as I track everything on a spreadsheet but it doesn't stop me.

So far this month I've resisted buying new coats (I have plenty and definitely don't need any more) and handbags, which are quite the addiction. The other addiction is craft stuff, I have enough to open my own shop but that didn't stop me ordering more, £60 worth. It is my hobby though.

On the positive, over the last 3 years I've paid my mortgage off early and paid my car and bank loan off. I saved about 10k in interest paying the car loan off, I was really shocked how much of the loan was interest when I read the small print off. And I've saved £900 since the beginning of December, the goal is to try and save that much each month if possible.

February is going to be a challenge though as I have to have dental treatment which will be expensive.

For info, I live alone (unless you count the cat), my family are all grown up and left home. I spend about £30 a week on food and don't use much fuel as I work from home.
 
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Trauma Frotters

Chatty Member
The conversation about stuff getting in the way of life is hitting home. The "do I need it?" In the title of these threads is key for me. I have a small chaotic home packed with stuff ( not hoarder level, just not nice). It doesn't function, it doesn't bring me peace, I avoid having friends/family in, I am living with undone repairs and maintenance making daily life worse and the whole cycle feeds itself.

Buying less, saving more and clearing out is a perpetual struggle.
 
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hytuhh

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What I love about cutting down unnecessary spending is the fact that you can still go out, book holidays, enjoy yourself etc but you actually have money leftover without feeling guilty because you haven’t been frittering it away. I have started a new job which is on an industrial estate with no shops around. This is amazing for me because my last job was opposite a retail park (Home Bargains my true weakness) and a 10 minute walk to the town centre. I would be spending my entire lunch breaks browsing shops that I just didn’t need to, spending £20/£30 a time. Even £10 at lunch adds up to £50 a week if you’re doing it daily. Now I don’t have that option it’s so much easier to control unnecessary spending
 
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hytuhh

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I really wanted 2 items from Charlotte Tilbury, they came to £56. I thought okay I'll treat myself, it's been a long week. But then I thought, let me just check Vinted. Got both items for £16.59 each, brand new and unopened. Saving of around £23 there #smallwins
 
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House of Tea

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Something that has helped me in the past is work out hourly rate if I’m paid work. And then seeing how many hours you would have to work (endure in my case) to buy something. So, we all differ of course, if you are on £25 an hour, you see a lipstick from Charlotte Tilbury at £25, it would be an hours wage. Ok once in a while but if you add up all your multiples of unused products, if you convert it to hours worked, you have spent weeks worth of work on things you don’t even use. That coat for £100, which you have never worn, 4 hours. Add that together with all the similar tops, another pair of trainers etc. The takeaways. If you equate it hours work, it pulls you up sharp. It is like dieting, how long would I have to exercise before I burn off this Mars Bar - how long?! I won’t bother. Same principle.
 
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fishyfishfish

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A few big wins for me this week:
Opening an ISA today as I was about to start paying tax on my savings for the first time in my life! A nice milestone.
bought a new dress yesterday and my OH is taking me out for a fancy dinner this weekend. I’ve sold loads on Vinted so using the money from that to pay for the dress so it’s completely guilt free. Plus, the Zara XL was too big so I’m now a Large in Zara for the first time in years! Money and weight loss wins rolled together ❤
 
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Silverback

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Been reflecting on my purchases the last few months and how hit and miss they’ve been.

Black crossbody bag from Oliver Bonas- hit
Cosy neutral coloured jumpers- hit
Skin & Me subscription- hit

and now the misses

Victoria Beckham eyeshadow that cost £33 and made my eyelids burn
L’occitane hand cream that smells nice but is shit at moisturising my hands
And the piece de resistance….

A bright purple fluffy cardigan that makes me look like an extra on the muppets. I spent £70 on it and look like a dufus. Will stick it on Vinted and I will be lucky to get £20 back…

What I’ve realised is that I change my mind or go off of colourful clothes quickly. Simple clothes/ basics are good for a long time. I’ll stick to them in future.
 
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