username21
Active member
I just wanted to thank you so much for this. As someone whoRuby's kicking off the New Year with her latest attempt to sweep this whole "Being a terrible businessperson and terrible person in general" thing under the rug without consequence. It's a new year! A time to forgive and forget the money she owes her customers and various charities!
As the famous song goes: "Should auld monetary pilfering be forgot and never brought to mind?" In Ruby's mind, absolutely. Ruby's a Tory, and they're not supposed to deal with annoying things like comeuppances.
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Ruby starts the year as she means to go on: By clinging to the past and living in squalor.
This is a vlog covering the last few days of the year, Ruby claims. The flowers on her windowsill were delivered to her mid-December and looked near death then. Rub keeps them proudly on display still, even though they look pathetically wilted.
She starts the day by "making her bed" - i.e., pulling a throw over her bed to avoid having to change the sheets or adjust their sloppy hanging-off-the-mattress fit in any way. It's an approach she uses in every aspect of her life: Toss a metaphorical rug over anything messy or unfortunate, like criticism and requests for planner refunds, and hope it magically fixes itself.
"I always use the last few days of the year to REE-SAT and RE-FLACKT," she says, and I assume she means "Reset the Pumpkin Productivity order system to purge all refund requests and complaint emails to avoid dealing with them, and reflect on all the new money in the bank".
"I'm basically trying to do things that will set me up well for the new year," she says, then aptly cuts to a shot of her running full-sprint away from responsibility and consequences.
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Ruby says her morning walk through a muddy field is the highlight of her day, which doesn't sound like a good thing, and she can't have enjoyed it too much since she spent 85% of this walk setting up her camera to film herself walking back and forth from an embarrassing amount of different angles.
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Most of the later shots in the video are the same angle as earlier ones, but Ruby's walking in a different direction. Nothings says "Mindfully enjoying a carefree walk in nature" quite like setting a camera up on a fence, walking twenty feet, turning around and then walking back to collect the camera and then doing this all again multiple times throughout the walk.
She trails off on one of her now-obligatory "walking through fields" casual magic nonsensical diatribes.
"I'm SO aware right now of why I love winter so mOch? I always think it's because I love Christmas aaaand I always think, 'Oh, after Christmas I'm gyowing to bee syooo down in the dumps because Christmas will be ovah, but...gyowing on this walk now, I remember just like I love just...I love winter." (Take a break here to down your headache pills of choice because Ruby's mangling of the English language feels like a violent verbal assault on the cerebral cortex.)
She claims January and February are her new favourite months, but since she says every single month is her new favourite month when it rolls around, this means nothing - it's merely her brain telling her mouth to make sounds just to confirm she's still conscious.
Ruby twirls around in the wind and mud and rants how much the weather reminds her how much she loves Winter. Only...this isn't Winter weather. This is British weather. Wet, windy, cloudy and muddy? That's the weather you get in the UK most of the year.
"Last January when I was just going on these walks every morning, I got into the habits of going on these walks every morning."
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Rubes, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
When you don't eat for long periods of time, the speech centre of your starved, barely-functional brain offers up shit like, "Back when I was doing that thing I was doing, I was doing that thing I was doing!" And the now-impaired judgement centre of your brain thinks, "Sounds good to me! Lets say that out loud and share it online!" The end result is this embarrassing video.
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Ruby says that taking a walk in December reminds her of all those walks she took in January. No fucking shit. You were walking in the exact same field, because you never leave home. It's a guaranteed recipe for déjà vu.
She says the walk is "really meditative" because she doesn't listen to music and lets herself think. And if this is the level of insightful thoughts she comes up with, she should really start taking headphones to drown that nonsense out.
After more footage of her walking through fields that goes on for far too long (Ruby resorts to time-lapse for half of it, and even then it drags on pointlessly), she's back home.
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"LOOK how muddy my legs got." You aimed for every muddy puddle like a hyperactive 4 year old, what did you think would happen?
And those can't be jeans, right, Ruby? Because you made a preachy point in a recent video about how you don't own and never wear those, so this must be some kind of mistake, surely?
Ruby's going to get changed because her clothes are wet and "moddy", but first she points out that she's listening to The Cinematic Orchestra.
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Rather than just telling people what album it is, she awkwardly just shows her screen. Strange, no? Almost as if she's conspicuously showing her screen to display the date. Y'know, the date on your phone that you can very easily change to pretend it's a different date...? That or she saw French on the album art and wisely didn't attempt to pronounce it, even though the English translation is right there.
As sloppy editing causes her sentences to overlap each other, Ruby says one of the things she does at the end of every year is to compile a memory video of the best things that happened that year.
Since Ruby never steps outside her comfort zone or try anything new whatsoever, she can (and probably will) just recycle last year's video. Contents will include:
And that's about it.
- Spent 90% of the academic year with parents.
- Spent 98.5% of time in Exeter with Blakeney.
- Frolicked in fields behind house.
- Got lots of money through questionable means.
- Browsed Waterstones. Touched everything. Bought nothing.
She makes more tea, because in Ruby's mind it's a great substitute for food.
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Then Ruby tries to place her tea strainer back on its holder thing. I say "try", because somehow even placing a light tea strainer in a clearly visible holder proves taxing for her. She misses by inches, acts confused, then has to try again.
There's major "Fry misses the big red button" vibes from Ruby failing at the most simple hand-eye coordination task:
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
When you don't eat for long periods of time, the part of the brain that controls coordination of visual perception and fine motor control starts failing to work as well. This means your eyes see something, your brain tells your hands, "Sure, dude, it's right there! Go for it!", when really it's not "right there" at all. It's 6 inches west of "there".
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The thing you definitely want to see a person with impaired motor functions and non-existent attention span doing is playing with fire.
Ruby has almost set herself and her desk on fire several times before, by spilling nail polish all over a desk with burning candles on it, or by waving her sweater over naked flames because she wasn't paying attention to her immediate surroundings.
Here, she lights a match and while holding it in the air, burning, she gets distracted and starts reading the matchbox.
Ruby mentally adds an achievable goal to her 2022 goals list:
Though this isn't a 'What I got for Christmas' video, Ruby randomly starts mentioning things she got for Christmas. A candle from her cousin. Gold tea cups (because Ruby loves gold, in case her willingness to do or say anything for more money didn't give that away).
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Apparently her parents bought her multiple of these for when she has tea parties for her friends, which she claims happens often.
It's assumed that this is a children's tea party situation and all the guests are imaginary.
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While Ruby's pulling out random gifts that she got, she posts a lengthy disclaimer on-screen.
She's not doing this to show off, but lots of people asked what she got for Christmas, apparently. So...make a video about that if it's in high demand, Ruby. That's what a content creator does: Give their audience what they ask for.
If you don't want to, or feel conflicted, don't do that. If you couldn't be bothered, make an Instagram story or post. But be consistent. This isn't a gift haul video. Interrupting an unrelated video that's supposed to be about you preparing for the New Year to show off expensive trinkets you were given is especially blatant, and the very definition of showing off.
It's like if you were talking to someone about their plans for the weekend, and then mid-conversation, apropos of nothing, they just opened their wallet and just showed you their wads of cash, mentioned that there's a lot more where that came from, then defensively said "I'm not showing off."
Christmas isn't about gifts, she stresses in her disclaimer, it's about family. But she didn't veer this video off-course to tell viewers about what she did with her family over Christmas, did she? She did it to show off her gold-covered gifts.
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Her mother got her another beret. She mentions that she never considered herself a hat person until Blakeney pointed out that she wears a lot of hats. Note that Blakeney did not say this was a flattering habit, only that she wore them a lot.
Wearing a beret, pearl necklace and holding a gold china tea cup, she could not look more like a pampered rich girl cliché. And she keeps rattling off gifts she got. Hot water bottles, sewing machines, tea light holders.
She says her sister Martha got her the sewing machine because Ruby wants to make her own clothes. Ruby can't even iron her own clothes, there's no chance she'll bother learning make them from scratch. Ruby's mother got her an embroidery kit last year, and that still goes unused.
Ruby also mentions that Martha got her a shark adoption/tracking gift so she can GPS track a shark in the Bahamas. Because, as you know, Ruby's a STAUNCH PROPONENT of shark conservation. You can tell by the way she made one slapdash video about it a year and a half ago, never mentioned it again until she got this gift and then quickly reposted someone else's shark conservation Insta story a couple of days ago.
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After briefly considering work for another Dickens essay that's due in two weeks, Ruby decides to write some meandering essays in thankyou cards instead.
Pro tip, Ruby: If you want to thank someone, don't do it by giving them even more pages of your inane drivel to wade through to start the new year. Give them the gift of leaving them the fuck alone for a while.
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In her third outfit for this "day", Ruby goes for a run to the post box. Because if anything's a good idea when you're malnourished and haven't eaten all day, it's subjecting your body to strenuous exercise.
When she's back, it's time to clear old SD cards. Doesn't seem very efficient, since Ruby regularly needs access to all that old footage to recycle it in videos and try to pass it off as new, but anyway.
When she's done with that, she says she's going to help her mum tidy "the snug", which is apparently their name for one of their 473 living rooms, and then--
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Umm... Hey, Rubes...? The fuck is this?
Ruby casually pans around the "snug" to reveal she owns a child's primary school desk and it's kept up the corner so she can pretend to be a nine year old in detention.
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If that weren't unsettling enough, Ruby opens the fucking thing to reveal that she's adorned it with Harry Potter clippings and stocked it with childish items such as a Matilda pencil case.
Without a trace of irony, sarcasm or self-awareness, she proudly says that her new desk organisation "genuinely looks SO good".
Ruby is a twenty-one year old woman. She bought a child's bed. Dresses like a child most of the time. Reads children's books exclusively. She idolises fictional children and tapes their photos all over her walls. And now this. Adopting the lifestyle of a prepubescent child is not a fun personality quirk. It's a creepy-as-fuck sign of serious mental instability.
Ruby claims that some of the desk's contents are her mum's. Not buying it, Ruby.
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It's suddenly a new day, but old habits burn bright - quite literally - as Ruby goes pyro again.
After narrowly avoiding setting something on fire again, she says she's finishing off Vee Kativhu's book 'Empowered'. It's taken her so long to (pretend to) read it because she was simply too busy with (pretending to read) Christmas literature and poetry, which can only be read in December. According to Goodreads, the only other thing Ruby read (or pretended to read) in December besides Vee's book was A Tale of Two Cities.
But let's go back to Goodreads for a second.
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Firstly, this review is terrible, and if this is the level of critical skill she applies at university, it's a wonder she hasn't failed out by now.
Now, obviously, a Goodreads review doesn't need to be an in-depth critical essay, but this vague, incompetently-written "review" tells almost nothing about the book, and like all Ruby's reviews, seems written by someone who read no more than the cover blurb.
Ruby makes grand, sweeping statements about the book, but gives zero examples.
"She gives practical advice, but also (and more importantly) shares kind and encouraging words."
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This sentence could apply to almost any self-help book, and no examples or further details are given, because Ruby clearly didn't read it.
"Elements are heartbreaking (especially since we know and love Vee so much)..." Do we, Ruby? Not everyone knows who Vee is. You might know her because you share the same management team, which is likely the only reason you've written this "review" (and your relationship to Vee is also something you should absolutely be declaring in a glowingly positive review, but you clearly left that part out). But you are not the focal point of the universe. Most people have no idea who Vee is, as evidenced by her book having almost no reviews.
"...and show's why..." And which year of an English lit degree are you in again, Ruby? What's that apostrophe doing there?
"...Vee shows how she turns everything into lemons and then lemonade."
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Ruby, the expression "turning lemons into lemonade" is a metaphor for taking a bad situation (a bitter lemon) and turning it into something positive (sweet lemonade). If Vee "turns everything into lemons and then lemonade", you're saying she's taking a good situation, creating her own problems and then fixing them. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Have you considered taking an indefinite vow of silence? Clearly the whole language thing is an uphill struggle for you.
"All young people should read this." That's a bold statement, Rubert. Literally every single young person should read it? Yet you only rated it 4/5? It's almost as though...you didn't read the book, had nothing to say because you didn't read the book, gave the book an overwhelmingly positive review which made no mention of the obvious bias and conflict of interest you have since you know the author, and then took a star off (without anything in the review to justify this lower rating) to pre-empt any claims of this being a shady, fake positive review.
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The book could be great, I have no idea. I don't know anything about Vee other than she's an influencer repped by the same agency as Ruby, Jack Edwards (who also gave it an even-more-vague 5 star review without declaring his link to Vee), Eve Cornwell and Jade Bowler.
But I'm instantly suspicious of any book where the cover pull quotes are all from the author's friends/influencer pals. And when all talent repped by the same agency as her, who were all invited to a launch party event and gifted free books, are out there dropping positive reviews without declaring their relationship to her, this makes this whole affair and everyone involved look suspicious as fuck. Vee's book currently has only ten reviews. Two are from her agency peers. They're both glowingly positive, and neither mention their ties to Vee.
That said, this is a Ruby video recap, so let's get back to that.
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Ruby marked the book as complete at 3:46am on December 29th...
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Now, putting aside the fact that Ruby ain't going to be awake and reading at nearly 4am even if she did read things, here she is, still reading (or pretending to read) the book's final chapters at sunrise on December 29th:
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The sun rises between 07:00 and 08:00 in the UK currently.
Make it make sense, Ruby.
Also, please note the "framed" picture to the right of her. Ruby not only seems to think pictures go on the outside of already occupied picture frames, instead of, y'know, inside them...but she's also just slapped a bit of tape in only a couple of corners, so the picture's hanging off. So aesthetic!
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After another outfit change, there's footage of Ruby putting her coat and hat on that goes on forever.
And then she goes trudging around in the muddy fields again.
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(Pictured: Ruby with all the Pumpkin Productivity customers who received their planners on time.)
And since she's back in the field again, of course we get an obligatory casual magic ramble.
"I LOVE mist. Mist might be my favourite weather, maybe even more than snow. Probably even more than rain, and THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING because I love rain." Why does Ruby do this? Why does every new thing she encounters have to be her FAVOURITE? Same reason she constantly claim she ALWAYS does things she never does: Narcissists and compulsive liars often exaggerate and lie about the tiniest things for attention or just for no reason at all. Everything's a competition, and Ruby always has to win, even if the only other opponent is her last remaining brain cell.
After another outfit change (her third outfit of the "day"), Ruby shows off a sad, tiny piece of toast and a small, Shrek-green smoothie.
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She manically points and flails her hand around like she's trying to perform a magic trick. It's partially effective: She's made her integrity disappear.
She eats her tiny, portion of toast and then reveals she's drinking three drinks at once, because that's entirely normal and not at all a bizarre substitute for actual food. In addition to her smoothie, she also has a cup of tea and a glass of water.
Then it's time for her to work on that Dickens essay she cast aside the day before.
"It's nine thirty...let's get cracking," she says, with zero enthusiasm.
She eats a tiny orange/satsuma and makes a point to shove a clock in the frame for a time-lapse.
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Why would anyone do this, unless they're trying to prove something or impress someone? They wouldn't. It also means nothing, since clocks can be easily adjusted to show whatever time you want. But clearly Ruby's been reading Tattle and getting defensive.
"I've responded to some emails," she says. Only a month late with those Pumpkin Productivity emails, huh?
She's also going to subject another family member to a meandering thankyou card.
Ruby's family every time they get post:
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This time she's going to pad out the card by sending her granddad a framed photo. Now, remember the part where she displayed a baffling inability to use photo frames?
Well, she hasn't exactly improved with time.
She places the frame face-down on the desk. Takes off the back of the frame. Puts the photo in. So far so good!
Now all that's left is to pop the back cover back in, and--
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For some reason, instead of doing that, Ruby decides the pick the entire thing up by its unsecured glass pane. Why? I have no fucking idea. But the whole thing collapses in her hand and falls apart and then she abruptly cuts away.
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT..."
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"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT...parcel to my granddad."
Ohhh, "accompany"...
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You really out here just using language any which wrong way you feel like, huh, Ruby?
Ruby inserts bizarre pauses and alien cadence into her sentence and still pronounces it "a-com-panny", not "a-cum-panny".
After mangling the English language some more, she moves on to just general stupidity.
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So...Ruby apparently has essays to write. And she also keeps going on about how much she values time with her family. And here she is, alone in her room, writing up notes in Notion for Vee's book for herself. A book she didn't actually read.
She appears to be flicking through the pristine, unread book, grabbing random passages and transcribing random "thoughts"/quotes into Notion. Who is this for? What purpose does this serve? I mean, her Goodreads review certainly didn't benefit from any of this. Why's she treating the random book she was gifted and pretended to read like it's an essay?
She even whips out the clock to show off how much time she claims to be wasting on this performative insanity. It's staggeringly stupid.
Then she moves onto her "New Year's Resolutions", which she wrote in November.
As a tribute to Ruby, I'll recycle my comments for this page from back when she first unveiled it. Although, since I'm being honest about it, that's not very Ruby at all. Whoops.
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She evidently has no clue what the word "yearly" means, since two thirds of this "yearly planner" section is taken up with space to detail your wish list for life in five years or just the distant future.
Ruby has filled hers with goals that are either laughably unattainable (for her, at least) or where the bar is so low that it'll be hard not to accomplish ("Publish an article "somewhere"" - y'know, like a blog. Done! "Read Emma by Jane Austen" - Ruby will read the Sparknotes summary and mark this done.)
She's also set herself up for disappointment by expecting a first for her degree, even though she's struggling to meet deadlines or come up with even a basic foundation for her dissertation. Good luck with the Masters thing, Ruby!
Ruby thinks she can get a book deal, even though her dwindling popularity and vanishing relevance takes her out of the running for a vanity book deal, and no way can she get one on her own merits. Considering her lack of talent, her inability to use language coherently and the book she self-published being a major red flag to publishers, I wouldn't count on this happening, if I were her.
"Work with an anti-bullying charity."
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Why this is still on her list after the anti-bullying week disaster (any proof that any of the ad revenue for those videos went to charity yet, Ruby?) and her own fabricated history of bullying is a mystery, but she should probably avoid walking through that PR minefield again.
"Tangibly promote letter-writing"? What nonsense is this?
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After the old resolutions, she adds some more.
- "Read more selectively." Ruby doesn't read anything as it is, aside from children's books. That's about as selective as it gets already.
- "Try and declutter significantly." This is on her list every year. Her home is always a shithole and nothing changes.
- "Develop a better night routine." What is her obsession with night routines?
- "Donate 10% of everything I earn." This has been suggested to her countless times on here whenever she gets all preachy about charity while doing nothing charitable. She won't even give charities back the money she took from them. She ain't going to give them her own money, too. The fact that she's put this as a future goal instead of just doing it right away with nothing stopping her is as big a sign as any.
- "Do more charity work/volunteering." Another suggestion that's been thrown at her on Tattle. She won't actually do this. She will move the goalposts, consider a reposted Insta story to be "charity work" and consider this done.
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"Fully enjoy my last term." This year, Ruby has avoided campus as much as possible, complained about how much she hates studying on campus, is constantly falling behind with uni work and has generally appeared miserable at uni. Off to a great start, Ruby! Remember the "academic resolutions" she set (go home less, embrace uni culture, etc.) and gave up on in a day? This is that again.
"Send articles to magazines and competitions." Ruby employing the "If I send my drivel literally everywhere, someone will eventually read and publish it!" desperation approach.
"Work with Royal Mail." This doesn't mean Ruby will actually do any work or attempt to get a job at Royal Mail (or anywhere). She will just try to court a partnership deal for them to pay her to made shit-quality paid ads where she offers "Did you know?" historically inaccurate facts about the postal service and letter writing.
"Get a first for my degree." Why? This is out of your control, Ruby. Just put "Work to the best of my ability" and be happy with what you get instead of peddling this nonsense to people. And since you regularly cut every corner you can to avoid doing the work, a first isn't something you're entitled to or deserve.
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Her 'Things to Do in 2022' list is a similar mix of 'can't fail' tasks, obvious shit that she needs to do anyway ("Complete my dissertation"? You need to do that anyway to graduate, Ruby) and pie-in-the-sky bullshit that will never happen.
"Publish a book"/"Release an audiobook". Never going to happen unless she self-publishes again.
"Solo travel to Rome". This will be like that "solo trip" to Devon, where she'll go with her family and do everything she can to hide their presence on social media to make herself seem more independent.
"Sort out library in full"/"declutter the loft" these are both rooms in her parents' home. Not only will she not bother doing these, but it's a sign that she has zero intention of even considering moving out after graduation if she's planning on claiming two more rooms as her own.
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And then another walk in a field, this time with her cousins, mother and aunt.
Ruby shouts to get their attention. "Wooooo! Smile everyo--"
As everyone but her mother glares at her with confusion, she abruptly and awkwardly cuts away.
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The video's almost over but the stupidity's not finished yet!
After yet another outfit change, Ruby mentions that she takes lots of screenshots to remind herself of things on her phone. I'm not sure how this is supposed to work as a reminder system, and evidently neither is Ruby, as she forgets about all the screenshots she's taken. So now she's going through over a month's stockpile of forgotten screenshots and transcribing what she thinks they might've been for into Notion.
So alongside her complex, pointless busywork system of using dozens of concurrent paper and digital planners and so on alongside Notion, Ruby also uses this screenshot system that clearly doesn't work. Isn't there reminder sections in your planner for this, Ruby?
Note that Ruby is always obsessed with finding a new morning and night routine (even though they always stay the same) yet never once considers streamlining her bullshit system of numerous redundant planners that wastes most of her day with busywork. And then she wonders why she's always late for things, always falling behind on work and never has time for anything.
What a fucking dipshit.
Happy New Year, everyone!
almost unalived myself during the holidays
InThePitsOfHell
Member
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lemonlime
VIP Member
Catching up with the thread and I am baffled by the lack of understanding of a native English speaker, who is arguably well educated and "well read" (at least according to herself), when it comes to basic vocabulary. I could excuse some errors if they were happening during a live stream where she couldn't pause to check a dictionary but this is on Instagram and edited videos. All. The. Time.
Maybe the next thread title should be 'Ruby Granger #24: You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.'
Maybe the next thread title should be 'Ruby Granger #24: You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.'
How many times have we seen this exact shot? I can't think of any particular videos it's shown up in, but the fact that she's going into her final year of university and still reusing this one clip of school says a lot. (It's in the first few seconds of the video). There's also a lot of reused footage with Blakeney and Molly, clips of her studying, and shots of the planner. I really think she put together most of the intro without actually filming anything new.
Because I hate myself and I have too much time on my hands, I'm going to try and sum up the 35 things -
It's divided up into four parts - academic, organisation, lifestyle, and 'fun'.
(Side-note: she repeats the phrase 'do X so you don't have to worry about doing X later' so many times)
Academic - 'because obviously that is probably the most important bit'
1. 'look through your course information and familiarise yourself with the classes you're taking' - make Notion pages, basically
2. 'start doing some pre-reading and actually prepare academically' - do all your work for week 1.
3. 'do at least one piece of critical extra reading' - already making more work for herself. The clip here (1:30) is of her writing 'Empire of Liberty' which I think was one of her modules last year?
4. 'set up your academic planner' - a planner advert, of course.
5. 'set up your folders - if you're going to be using folders. Or Notion, if you're going to be using notion'.
6. 'set goal grades' for each of your subjects and 'make a note of how you can achieve them' - and write them down in your
academic planner of course. Her goal grades are 75, 75, 72 for modules, and 76 for her dissertation, and the ways she can achieve her goals are literally only 'read widely', 'historical research', and other very specific, targeted, and focused strategies 
7. 'put your key dates in your calendar - deadlines, term dates...'
8. 'look through your notes from last year' - declutter
9. 'back up key documents in a second location in case you lose them' (good shout, I'll give her that)
10. 'familiarise yourself with last years notes' - feat. another reused clip of sixth form (3:39)
Organisation -
11. get rid of any stationery that isn't working - 'obviously you have no use for a pen that doesn't work'
12. make a shopping list to go stationery shopping (with....... stationery, I guess?)
13. clean out your schoolbag from last year
14. wipe out your bag with 'cold water and soap' - this is 'quite nice to do on occasion'
15. pack your bag, and write down what you want to keep in it (pointless busywork, anyone?)
16. pack your pencil case, as above. She says she used to write down a list of stuff in her pencil case and 'every month' she would 'cross-reference' it with the stuff that was actually in her pencil case.
17. 'label things' - school jumpers, pencil cases, etc
18. make a 'school emergency kit of things you might need' - period pads, lipbalm, deodorant, etc. Surely that's just things that are useful to have in your bag in general?
19. 'do some decluttering'
20. 'clean your bedroom thoroughly' - hoover under your bed, she says! Because apparently cleaning is a great way to 'mark in a new mindset'.
21. a 'digital declutter'
Lifestyle -
22. write down some 'easy lunch or dinner ideas' - feat reused footage of tiny portions
23. write down some 'good study snacks' - one of hers is 'mug of peas' (6:51 for anyone who wants to screengrab the whole thing)
24. make sure you have 'dry snacks' in the house that are easy to transport - have a 'designated snack box' for food to eat during the day
25. write down your 'ideal day' - morning and night routines, etc. feat. reused footage from said morning and night routines
26. write down what extracurriculars you want to sign up for
27. write down what you want to 'do and achieve' before the end of term
28. make some playlists on spotify - one study playlist full of classical music, and one motivational playlist
29. plan out five daily outfits so that you don't 'waste time thinking about what to wear' and then write them in Notion holy shit this girl's capacity for inane busywork (list at 9:00 if you want a laugh)
Fun, finally!
30. Read a 'long book you won't have time for during the school year'
31. print some photos to put up in your university room to 'reflect on memories from the summer'
32. 'make a list of the things that make you happy, so you can look over them when you're stressed'
33. make an aesthetic Pinterest board to get 'motivated and excited' about school - 'just really channel that motivation!'
34. 'penultimately, take a day off entirely!' feat. reused footage of twirling in fields
35. spend time with friends and family, make the most of seeing people, etc
This might be the thread's most boring post yet but I got halfway in and then sunk-cost fallacy forced me to see it through, I apologise in advance
gossip_guy
VIP Member
It'll never happen in a billion years, but a video series where Ruby tries out various part-time jobs in a new place each week would be hilarious.
After working in a student bar for 15 minutes, she'd lock herself in the toilets and call her mum:
"Mummy, there's so many brutish delinquents out there and they're expecting me to provide them with ethanol! I tried to engage in what they call "banter", but telling them about various Victorian ailments and Emily Dickinson's morning routing didn't work on these uncultured swine! Please come get me! I hit the panic button on my child monitoring app, but it looks like dad has just been searching the house for me for hours, it looks like he's lost in there!"
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Her entire holiday has been profoundly dull so far, so I've taken the liberty of making the whole disastrous affair a dash more exciting for her and commemorating the trip so far in movie form:
gossip_guy
VIP Member
"Hallo, it's Roobee, and TODAY, oiy'm gyowing tyoo be sharing the things I try to do every day."
I thought that's what you did in the 85,494 morning/evening/daily routine videos you've crapped out onto your YouTube channel? Haven't we already seen this shit way too many times? Why are you making the same inane, recycled, low-effort bullshit aga--
Of course, she just had to churn out another pile of manure in which to bury some ad content in hopes that it'll grow into more cash and more gifted products.
The first thing that's apparent is that Ruby seems to have gone overboard with her pronunciation - even more so than usual.
Over the months and years, her fake Emma Watson has deteriorated into 'posh cockney with learning difficulties', or 'confused Australian who just found out they're distantly related to Kate Middleton', with vowels used interchangeably and incoherently. "Choose" becomes "chEEse" and "lecture" becomes "LACK-churr", and so on.
In this video, it seems like she's attempting a reset of sorts - not by speaking properly and coherently or using words and letters correctly, but simply by enunciating her nonsense much more clearly and "properly", to the point where I had to double-check that this wasn't an old video from her earlier days when she was first going full Hermione.
These are "habits" which are apparently:
- Important to Ruby.
- Make Ruby feel good.
- Help Ruby keep on top of her goals.
A habit isn't something you force yourself to try to do regularly. It's something you already naturally do regularly, almost by instinctive compulsion.
An affectation, meanwhile, is a rehearsed or fake action or personality trait designed to impress others. That's what almost this entire list is, and that's what Ruby's entire persona is make of: Fabricated, rehearsed shit made up to try to fool others into thinking she's smarter, more organised and more unique than she is.
1. Morning Skin Care.
Ruby feels much more "reFRASHED" if she does this. The entire video is a redundant waste of time, but "washing my face" seems barely a step up from "opening eyes" and "inhaling/exhaling" on the scale of pointless everyday things to mention.
She lathers her face with soap and then starts applying face lotion with a dropper, or maybe she's trying to put in eye drops and her hand-eye coordination has deteriorated worse than we thought as she misses by a country mile.
It might be my complete ignorance of beauty regimes talking, but...is this a thing? Am I alone in thinking applying face lotion with a chemical dropper is odd?
At least, I'm assuming it's lotion; Ruby doesn't say, so it could easily be liquified stem cells stolen from an Exeter research lab that she's using to try to reverse the aging process, or the bottled tears of impoverished children from an underfunded state school.
She rubs it in with a jade eye roller, the latest in Ruby's adopted (and probably gifted) beauty fads/snake oil nonsense that she hopes will transform her into a 12 year old.
2. Morning Yoga/STRATCHING.
"I ALSO love tyoo dyoo morning YOGA?"
Any excuse for a bodychecking montage.
3. Work on Dissertation.
Ruby claims she does this AVVERY DAY. Even before she had a dissertation to write, she was writing a dissertation. Fresh out of the womb, she snatched the doctor's pen, incorrected his grammar and then got to work on some preliminary notes on Lewis Carroll's letters.
(Of course, more recycled timelapse footage of clocks.)
Ruby really wants to keep on top of this and "pace herself" with the amount of work she's doing, which seem like conflicting strategies in a 'speed up while slowing down' display of incoherent stupidity, but whatever.
The amount of time she'll spend on this per day, she claims, "MASSIVELY VARIES", but as luck would have it, tyooday she spent THE WHOLE MORNING working on it. Anything to convince people she's not floundering.
The idea that she actually spent every day of the past year working on her dissertation and still has nothing to show for it and has made no progress is hilarious. I'm sure she's lying and tossed this one in to make her look SYOOPER diligent and productive, but coupled with the recent "I'm ACKSHUALLY making LOTS of pro-GRASS!" protests and blatantly staged planner pages and claims that she drafted her entire dissertation in an hour, it's all really embarrassing.
Her dissertation is still a disaster, and she's shown zero proof otherwise.
4. Go on a Walk.
Ruby claims this is a "habit" that she's tried to force herself to do every day since the first Covid lockdown, and it's done wonders for her mental health, as evidenced by her constantly looking miserable whenever out walking or trundling though the forest. She never seems to enjoy her walks, she always walks the same areas at the same time every day.
She says that "many studies" have shown that walking is good for you. I'm not sure why Ruby would need one study to confirm that you should get up and walk around fairly regularly if you can to stay healthy and mobile, let alone multiple studies. Regardless, Ruby doesn't cite any of them.
She shows her front door, covered in cobwebs, then heads out to get yet more footage of herself wandering off and leaving her camera unattended.
To show just how much of a positive impact this forced daily walk has on her, she gets home looking mopey as fuck and slumps into her chair unceremoniously:
Getting some fresh air is good for you. Staying mobile is good for you. But going on a long walk doesn't need to be a strictly daily task slotted into the same spot on the schedule every day.
Trying to brute force things like this into a rigid daily habit even when you don't want to is a recipe for growing to hate them. You won't like them any more by doing them regularly, you'll just condition yourself to dread them rolling around every day, or feel like a failure if you can't do them. And if you do them first thing in the morning, you'll start the day on a sour note.
Mix things up. Have a sit in the yard to get some fresh air. Walk to the shop instead of forcing yourself outside to walking aimlessly. Go somewhere new instead of trudging the same streets and the same fields and forests. Change the times so you're not walking in the cold morning dew every day and you might get some sun.
But like everything with Ruby, including this video, it's just the exact same shit every single time.
5. Write a Letter.
"I'm not gonna lie," says Ruby the compulsive liar, "I haven't written one AVVERY single day this year...but I DYO DYOO this MYOST DAYS."
Her commitment to honesty lasts around five seconds, then she hits us with a triple-whammy of bullshit, saying that on this particular day, she wrote two "LATTERS" - one to a "frAND" and one to a viewer, expecting us to believe that:
1. This video depicts the events of one single day (even as her nail polish spontaneously vanishes then reappears multiple times).
2. Ruby has friends, plural.
3. Ruby does anything for her fans besides take their money.
We can see how much Ruby naturally enjoys writing letters since the timelapse footage shows she has to research talking points and refer to her cheat sheets on Nyotion to figure out what to write to her friends and beloved viewers about.
She shows herself applying wax seals and once again, it looks like total shit.
Again, it's another double-edged screw-up for Ruby: Either she's lying and doesn't actually write letters often, or she does write letters a lot and her ability to apply Victorian wax seals has just never improved even slightly, despite it being a simple skill and Ruby supposedly being all about the "ASS-TATIC". Either way, Ruby looks bad.
6. Clear Desktop.
This should not be a daily task for anyone.
Ruby says she always just drags shit to her computer's desktop and it gets cluttered, so she feels mentally cluttered unless she tidies and sorts her files every day.
Ruby thinks its a better and more productive idea to fix the recurring mess caused by her problem than just fixing the problem itself. If you keep making an absolute mess of your desktop, the bad habit to be broken is to stop doing that and save things in an organised place to begin with, not to make a new time-wasting habit of sweeping up the resulting clutter every single day.
But this is Ruby and her approach to "productivity" from top to bottom: Never find a time-saving and efficient way of accomplishing something, but instead add in multiple extra layers of busywork so that you can reward yourself several times for something instead of just once.
She has no place giving advice on anything, let alone productivity and organisation.
7. Clean Phone and Laptop
This is just a complete and utter fucking lie. Ruby never does this.
A selection of images of Ruby's laptop from months ago to recently:
Every time we see Ruby's laptop, it's caked in some new and nightmarish layer of dirt, grease, grime and dust. She never cleans this. Ever.
Ruby, who to this day doesn't understood why Oxford University rejected her, has owned and used this laptop every single day for years and somehow still hasn't figured out that it doesn't have touchscreen functionality. She just continues poking and prodding her filthy, peanut-butter-and-grime-covered fingers at every inch of the screen's surface, expecting that it'll just magically work at some point.
Even in this video, she just gives a cursory wipe of the keys, trackpad and outside of the lid and doesn't touch the screen.
What a dirty little swamp rat.
The only reason she included this blatantly dishonest section was to shoehorn in another, equally dishonest bit of go-to content for her: Sponsored ad sections.
Ruby's so eager to shill for this new sponsor that she tosses her phone off the top of the stairs to prove their "impact-resistant" cases can protect your phone from 6.6 foot high drops.
The sponsor is not likely to have told her she needed to do this to get paid, and if they did, she should've told them to get fucked, since they wouldn't be reimbursing her for a broken iPhone.
Influencers who usually do these drop tests are usually tech professionals. The phones were gifted to begin with, and the videos they make usually generate hundreds of thousands if not millions of views, meaning if the phone is fucked in the short or long term, the video revenue will more than cover it.
For a low-tier influencer like Ruby to do it is just stupidity at the highest level. Her success metric for this "test" is that there are no cracks. The case might've projected the screen from external factors, but all the internal circuitry just got its world fucking rocked from a 7 foot height for no reason whatsoever. She won't notice the damage for a while. And if she needs to claim on the insurance for any repairs, there's now video on the internet of her intentionally trying to break it, so she's on the hook for fraud if caught.
Ruby, sponsors don't pay you any more for lying. They don't reward you extra for people-pleasing, ass-kissing feats of stupidity like this, either. Just show the product, say what it does, state that it's a paid ad or a gifted product and then move on. You'll get paid the same and won't look like a pathetic, money-grubbing liar desperate to do or say anything for cash.
Ruby goes off on an extended sales pitch for the brand, showing off several cases. Since this is a video about the things she tries to do every day as a student, I'm not sure how or why any of this is supposed to be relevant. Is she trying to suggest she gets four new gifted phone cases daily as part of her routine?
Ruby says it's great that you can "POSSONALISE" some cases, and she chose to slap her name on one, just in case she forgets who she is, which is increasingly likely with her feeble brain. Another case, she had 'Put a Wetsuit On' added to, because it's from one of her favourite songs that she's never mentioned before: 'Wetsuit' by The Vaccines.
The song choice is ironic, since the lyrics about the overwhelming fear of growing old and wanting to embrace youth, which is the source of almost all of Ruby's issues and weirdness. But the song is also about enjoying youth while you have it - being spontaneous, having fun, doing new things - which is the opposite of Ruby's approach to life.
As she ages rapidly before our very eyes, she's determined to squander her formative years enjoying nothing, not improving at anything, experiencing nothing new, not engaging with anyone different from her, and retreating into her bubble of privilege and childish fantasy, emerging only to swindle a charity or two.
The name of the band is also fitting - they're called The Vaccines, which is funny since Ruby struggled to remember which vaccine she had, probably because she never got one.
8. Drink a Wheatgrass Shot
Ruby says that every member of her family downs a wheatgrass shot every single day.
"We ALL say that we feel SYO GOOD after them and it really helps with our skin again, we find..."
Ruby talks about her family like they're a hive mind cult and the whole discussion gives severe Silence of the Lambs vibes.
This is another blatant food substitute for her, and the ravages of malnutrition rear their head again when Ruby can't even summon the mental faculties and hand-eye coordination to open a sachet without spilling it everywhere.
She visibly squeezes the pouch while cutting the top, so of course it's going to shoot out everywhere.
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
Unless she did it deliberately. But again, whether she's lying her ass off, or she's just a mush-brained fuckwit, she doesn't look good either way.
She name-drops the brand, too - "In case anyone was wondering..." - making it clear this is most likely yet another undeclared, gifted product. They're £52 for a bag of 30. Ruby comes from a family of four, so if her claims are true and this wasn't gifted, her family spent £204 a month just on wheatgrass shots. That's £2448 a year. On fucking wheatgrass shots.
The company boasts that these shots will "boost physical & psychological performance", which Ruby immediately disproves.
"We ALL say that we feel SYO GOOD after them and it really helps with our skin again, we find..."
Ruby talks about her family like they're a hive mind cult and the whole discussion gives severe Silence of the Lambs vibes.
This is another blatant food substitute for her, and the ravages of malnutrition rear their head again when Ruby can't even summon the mental faculties and hand-eye coordination to open a sachet without spilling it everywhere.
She visibly squeezes the pouch while cutting the top, so of course it's going to shoot out everywhere.
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
Unless she did it deliberately. But again, whether she's lying her ass off, or she's just a mush-brained fuckwit, she doesn't look good either way.
She name-drops the brand, too - "In case anyone was wondering..." - making it clear this is most likely yet another undeclared, gifted product. They're £52 for a bag of 30. Ruby comes from a family of four, so if her claims are true and this wasn't gifted, her family spent £204 a month just on wheatgrass shots. That's £2448 a year. On fucking wheatgrass shots.
The company boasts that these shots will "boost physical & psychological performance", which Ruby immediately disproves.
9. Take Supplements.
Another unsurprising one, since Ruby never eats food and therefore is likely deficient in every vitamin and nutrient level.
For both of these entries, she subjects us to more footage of her swilling things round her mouth and gulping water.
10. Internship Work.
Ruby claims to have another internship, which is an interesting and new development, so of course she provides no further details.
She probably just agreed to proofread her mother's latest batch of terribly poetry, or maybe a vaguely xenophobic, overtly Tory family newsletter that Mother Granger crafted to send around and remind everyone about Ruby's many embellished accomplishments and make no mention of having a second daughter.
Ruby reveals that she's trying to spend a whole twenty minutes a day on this labour-intensive side job.
Are you okay, Ruby? Do you need a lie down after all that hard work? You must be exhausted.
She films herself tapping away at her keyboard, but she could be doing absolutely anything. Aside from returning stolen charity money - we can safely rule that out.
11. Study Outside the House.
Ruby says this isn't something she always does, but she tries to do it often.
So why the fuck is this in the video then, Ruby?
She shows off her Remarkable tablet and laptop screen, revealing that her newfound obsession with nonsense poetry continues:
She's either writing or planning on reading (a summary of) a book about/containing nonsense poetry. Nonsense poetry is a revelation for her as she thinks it's a free ticket to write whatever gibberish she wants without talent, thought or imagination and it'll be immune from criticism because it's not supposed to make sense.
And she also appears to have shoehorned this topic into her dissertation:
So far in her dissertation, she's writing about Lewis Carroll's letters, has shoved in gene editing, nonsense poetry, Christian theology, Cicero, how Carroll's gift-giving generosity and condolence letters made him a VARRY kind man and not a massive practitioner of habitual noncery, and then tries to link it all to the Covid pandemic. I think you forgot to include the kitchen sink, Ruby.
Her dissertation is shaping up to be an unmitigated shitstorm of irrelevance and I can't wait for the final grade for this meandering disaster to be revealed.
And then, Ruby claims, she did some studying for her other module.
But she shows herself just continuing to read about nonsense poetry - this is one of the sources she found and shoved into that dissertation draft sample above. Her other module is Childen's lit. Is she lying, editing badly once again or is she so desperate and lazy that she'll just slapping random shit from an unrelated module into her dissertation?
12. Washing Up.
Another lie. Ruby clearly never does this.
Even when she pretends to, she shows either how lazy and disgusting she is or that she does the dishes do infrequently that she doesn't know how to do it.
Going frame by frame through the timelapse footage of her washing up, you can see that she just lazily wipes one side or a small section of a plate or dish and then sets it aside as done.
A bowl needs no more than a brief swab of the bottom of the inside of it, apparently. Foot particles and bacteria do not exist elsewhere.
13. Making Loose Leaf Tea.
Ruby drones on about drinking tea, tea cups and how tea is one of her favourite things.
She drops in an undeclared ad for Bild & Blend - they've gifted her teas in the past, including her last video, so she should be making this clear as part of ASA rules. As always, she neglects to mention this relationship with the brand.
Ruby then segues into another ad.
"I'm just doing some bits and bobs forrr PONKIN' PRODUCTIVITEEE, which is a stationery shop that I....run."
It's a blatant lie, once again.
Ruby doesn't run the company. Her management company does. Ruby is a figurehead. A brand spokesperson and marketing assistant at best. She creates the posts for the company Instagram account, and they might letter choose from one of four colour options for the cover and that's about it.
When Ruby wants to embellish her accomplishments, she claims she runs the company, which is VARRY huge and successful.
When anything goes wrong, Ruby suddenly backtracks and she's just a small part of a very big and complex system, but the company is so small it's run out of a shoebox.
I mean, she claims she runs the whole company - employee payroll, logistics, supply, marketing, design and all - then mentions that she only does thirty minutes of work a day on it.
14. Emails.
Ruby tries to stay on top of emails, but it's just soooo difficult.
Meanwhile she wastes 80% of her day tracking redundant bullshit across to-do lists, planners, schedules, Notion, and so on.
15. Exercise.
Ruby apparently does some form of AXE-ercise every single day.
16. Work on Book.
Ruby is apparently "restructuring" a book she wrote last year and works on this AVVERY day because it's her "absolutely goal in life to be an author".
Umm, Ruby, you are an author. A terrible and terribly unsuccessful one, sure, but an author nonetheless. You wrote an published a book. It was dogshit, but you did it. There's a link to it in your description!
But that one doesn't count. Ruby evidently wants a do-over and a publishing deal. Keep fucking dreaming, Rubes.
She doesn't show what she's writing, but we can see that the laptop screen that she claimed to clean that very day is caked in dust and filth.
17. Studying Spanish.
Ruby pretends to be learning Spanish so she can drop in an undeclared ad for Babbel, who she was sponsored by just one video again. Again, she avoids mentioning that she has ties to the brand, in breach of ASA rules.
18. Read.
Ruby claims this one is "never hard to make time for".
Well, no shit - when you pretend to do something, it doesn't take much effort or time at all.
She claims she can't even sleep if she doesn't read before bed. No wonder she looks like she hasn't slept in years.
And that's it, save for another ad for PONKY PLORDATURVYTEE. It's the same garbled, edited-beyond-comprehension one she tacked onto the last outro.
Another day, another rehashed video full of blatant lies, fabricated timelines, unfathomable stupidity, undeclared ads and toxic habits. It's no great shock that Ruby never makes time for eating food and does not encourage eating full, healthy, nutritious meals.
There's also no actual detail or insight into anything. It's just "I do AXE-ercise. Then I do writing for 10 minutes because writing is SPASHUL tyoo mee. And then I was alllll the dishes. And then I did this. And then I drank tea."
Who is this video for? What purpose does it serve?!
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its_wedday_my_dudes
Member
Ruby Granger #10 close your grateful eyes and count to three, while we spill some of that ceremonial tea
ceremonial tea
buflesse
Chatty Member
-Ruby is still pretending that the holocaust memorial ad controversy wasn't a thing and has now stopped mentioning the hastily put together 'plan' to fund a memorial in an 'underfunded state school'
-her house continues to be filthy and she continues to wander round in thin summer dresses and white ballet tights, twirling in the garden etc
-she has become obsessed with surface level Victorian roleplay. Also being a scullery maid is apparently aesthetic
-her book insights are shallow and she also apparently doesn't think it's worth reading books by living authors. She supposedly reads enormous amounts but will count a 7 page short story as a book
-Martha has gone back to uni, presumably to escape the neo Victorian hellscape
-her house continues to be filthy and she continues to wander round in thin summer dresses and white ballet tights, twirling in the garden etc
-she has become obsessed with surface level Victorian roleplay. Also being a scullery maid is apparently aesthetic
-her book insights are shallow and she also apparently doesn't think it's worth reading books by living authors. She supposedly reads enormous amounts but will count a 7 page short story as a book
-Martha has gone back to uni, presumably to escape the neo Victorian hellscape
"Now I'm finishing my four year degree" - not quite, Ruby, you're finishing your three year degree after you switched from a different course. No shame in that, I dropped out of my first course (like actually dropped out) but stop sugarcoating. It's fine not to be perfect.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
"Surprise! We are releasing another academic planner!" "We," Ruby? Don't drag other people into this - you need to shoulder the blame for this yourself.
"I've been working on this literally since we brought out the academic planner last year." You sure that's the angle you want to take? Because that's a hell of a lot of time to spend on something so cheap, unimaginative and low-effort.
Anyway, here we see Ruby's intro page from last year's planner - a nostalgic look at where this all started. Times were simpler. Chris Pratt was still likeable. My body didn't ache quite so much.
"I plan and track everything, from the homework I've got due to the library books I've taken out." That's some mangled syntax, Rubes. It makes it sound like your homework is a direct result of you having taken out library books. I know getting extra homework with your library books sounds like a dream come true, but you're a scholar of language allegedly, you should think about sentence structure occasionally. A well-placed comma, or better choice of wording would have been a thought. But you apparently only had years to plan and design this, so clearly you were too pressed for time to proofread or anything crazy like that.
Ruby talking about good backbones when she's constantly trying to wreck hers with uncoordinated and dangerous gymnastics = hilarious.
"There was never anything right about all the planners I was using at once!" Poor workman blaming tools, etc., etc... If you had any degree of organisational skills, you wouldn't need 56 planners. Awkwardly jamming them all into one isn't the solution if you're still using Notion, other to-do lists, other notebooks, other planners as well.
And now lets see how organisational wunderkind Ruby Granger uses her expertly-designed planner.
Okay, so this utter shit-show is a sight to behold - a true insight into a fractured and terrifying mind:
"Write book: One
two 
[3]" What the hell is this? What does the 3 mean? Were you prioritising things on a number scale? If so, why'd you give up after 3? You have a title section to note what this crap indicates, so...why didn't you use it? Is it because that section is far too small to use for titling anything? That makes sense. Would've been cool if someone could alter the design to change things like that. Not sure who'd be responsible for something like that though.
Why does she have 'yoga,' 'trampoline,' 'abs' all separate? Is her mind that scattered that she'll forget to do one of the things she does every. single. day? Every daily routine video from her has bad yoga and bad trampolining. Surely that's ingrained in your schedule to the point that you don't need to plan it.
Why is 'exercise timetable' a thing on here? This is a planner. Just put the timetable in here now. What's this 'gotta put planner reminders in your planner so you can plan while you plan!' redundant Inception planning bullshit? This is not good planning. This is madness.
And why are there so many Ikea order entries across only two days?! If you need a note to remind you to order something from Ikea, and you're placing mutiple orders, how are you going to remember what you're ordering with a mind as empty as this? Is the rug you're ordering from Ikea, too?! What is wrong with you?? Looking at other pages she's posted, there's entries as vague as 'place order.' Entries are repeated in multiple sections. Kids, please, do not emulate this scatter-brained fuckwit in anything related to academia. This is just a mess of disorganisation and bereft of anything resembling efficient planning.
If I were Blakeney, I'm not sure if I'd be flattered that socialising with me is considered a "key event," sad that Ruby considers even minor socialising a major event, or freaked out that Ruby plots and plans her friendships like a clinical sociopath.
Scratch that. If I were Blakeney I'd definitely be terrified. What is Ruby planning?!
Also: "Reminders: Find Watch." If you have time to whip out your planner, do yoga, trampolining, order from Ikea multiple times a day, then you have 10 minutes to find your watch without meticulous scheduling. Where were you last twirling and frolicking like a dick? Maybe start there.
Well, she's focusing on the design of the new planner now, and she's been designing this one since the last one came out apparently, so at least that means a new, revised and corrected intro page with a new message for a new year that encapsulates the theme of the design and wows us with originality and wond--
Well... Hmm...
And now she's lighting candles in the blinding light of day again. I can't. I'm done.
Again, if you're reading this and were even remotely tempted to waste money on this thing: Don't do it. This is cheap, lazy crap designed by someone with a manic, chaotic jumble of pompous nonsense where her thought process should be. Don't emulate her abysmal habits. Don't reward her laziness with money.
"I've been working on this literally since we brought out the academic planner last year." You sure that's the angle you want to take? Because that's a hell of a lot of time to spend on something so cheap, unimaginative and low-effort.
Anyway, here we see Ruby's intro page from last year's planner - a nostalgic look at where this all started. Times were simpler. Chris Pratt was still likeable. My body didn't ache quite so much.
"I plan and track everything, from the homework I've got due to the library books I've taken out." That's some mangled syntax, Rubes. It makes it sound like your homework is a direct result of you having taken out library books. I know getting extra homework with your library books sounds like a dream come true, but you're a scholar of language allegedly, you should think about sentence structure occasionally. A well-placed comma, or better choice of wording would have been a thought. But you apparently only had years to plan and design this, so clearly you were too pressed for time to proofread or anything crazy like that.
Ruby talking about good backbones when she's constantly trying to wreck hers with uncoordinated and dangerous gymnastics = hilarious.
"There was never anything right about all the planners I was using at once!" Poor workman blaming tools, etc., etc... If you had any degree of organisational skills, you wouldn't need 56 planners. Awkwardly jamming them all into one isn't the solution if you're still using Notion, other to-do lists, other notebooks, other planners as well.
And now lets see how organisational wunderkind Ruby Granger uses her expertly-designed planner.
Okay, so this utter shit-show is a sight to behold - a true insight into a fractured and terrifying mind:
"Write book: One
two [3]" What the hell is this? What does the 3 mean? Were you prioritising things on a number scale? If so, why'd you give up after 3? You have a title section to note what this crap indicates, so...why didn't you use it? Is it because that section is far too small to use for titling anything? That makes sense. Would've been cool if someone could alter the design to change things like that. Not sure who'd be responsible for something like that though. Why does she have 'yoga,' 'trampoline,' 'abs' all separate? Is her mind that scattered that she'll forget to do one of the things she does every. single. day? Every daily routine video from her has bad yoga and bad trampolining. Surely that's ingrained in your schedule to the point that you don't need to plan it.
Why is 'exercise timetable' a thing on here? This is a planner. Just put the timetable in here now. What's this 'gotta put planner reminders in your planner so you can plan while you plan!' redundant Inception planning bullshit? This is not good planning. This is madness.
And why are there so many Ikea order entries across only two days?! If you need a note to remind you to order something from Ikea, and you're placing mutiple orders, how are you going to remember what you're ordering with a mind as empty as this? Is the rug you're ordering from Ikea, too?! What is wrong with you?? Looking at other pages she's posted, there's entries as vague as 'place order.' Entries are repeated in multiple sections. Kids, please, do not emulate this scatter-brained fuckwit in anything related to academia. This is just a mess of disorganisation and bereft of anything resembling efficient planning.
If I were Blakeney, I'm not sure if I'd be flattered that socialising with me is considered a "key event," sad that Ruby considers even minor socialising a major event, or freaked out that Ruby plots and plans her friendships like a clinical sociopath.
Scratch that. If I were Blakeney I'd definitely be terrified. What is Ruby planning?!
Also: "Reminders: Find Watch." If you have time to whip out your planner, do yoga, trampolining, order from Ikea multiple times a day, then you have 10 minutes to find your watch without meticulous scheduling. Where were you last twirling and frolicking like a dick? Maybe start there.
Well, she's focusing on the design of the new planner now, and she's been designing this one since the last one came out apparently, so at least that means a new, revised and corrected intro page with a new message for a new year that encapsulates the theme of the design and wows us with originality and wond--
Well... Hmm...
And now she's lighting candles in the blinding light of day again. I can't. I'm done.
Again, if you're reading this and were even remotely tempted to waste money on this thing: Don't do it. This is cheap, lazy crap designed by someone with a manic, chaotic jumble of pompous nonsense where her thought process should be. Don't emulate her abysmal habits. Don't reward her laziness with money.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
"Hallo, it's Roobee and tyooday, oiy'm gyowing tyoo bee sharing with yoo moiy thoughts on the 1001 books to read before you die, which I read all of this week.
[SPONTANEOUS OUTFIT CHANGE]
Firstly, The Catcher in the Rye. This was VARRY good. Would definitely recommend to any--[AWKWARD EDIT]
[SPONTANEOUS OUTFIT CHANGE]
Next up, weee have The Lovely Bones, which I was a little disappointed boiy as from the title I initially thought this was about my family. Even though it's not a book about me, I would still recommend it. VARRY good.
[DOG BARKS IN BACKGROUND, DOORS SLAM]
[SPONTANEOUS OUTFIT CHANGE]
And just a quick reminder that today's video is sponsored by Enterprise Rent-a-Car! I've been using then for years and years now and ALWAYS rent cars from them when I'm one of the many new cities that I often travel to. Their cars have everything you need! Four wheels, a steering wheel, a ryoof, and sometimes no ryoof!"
snapesslut
Member
Imagine if there was a horror game based on ruby, where you had to creep around her house, over dead fly's, random shit on the floor and try not to loose your life going up the stairs, to try and steal her planner without being caught by her. And when if you got caught by her, she would come out of her room, like "HELLO IT'S ROOBEE" and start chasing after you, as she skips and twirls behind you, throwing planners at you and rambling on about her favorite seasons.
Man I wish I could be a fly on the wall in Ruby's bedroom. Or a dead one on her desk
gossip_guy
VIP Member
"AFFIRMATIONS: I AM A PARISIAN. MY MAIN GOAL IS TO BE A PARISIAN. EVERYTHING ELSE COMES SECOND (including YouTube, which I cannot and will not rely on to become a Parisian; I just won't let myself do this) PARLEZ AS MUCH FRANCAIS AS I CAN AND WEAR AS MANY BERETS AS I CAN AND JUST DON'T GIVE UP. PUT A BAGUETTE IN YOUR BICYCLE'S BASKET AND JUST GET EXPERIENCE BEING PARISIAN. AND THIS SHOULD BE THE WHOLE FOCUS OF YOUR GAP YEAR. BECOME A PARISIAN. MAKE THAT YOUR IDENTITY. THAT IS MY IDENTITY."
