CatCafe234
VIP Member
You can walk. I shall be twirling.
georgiatheolivegirl
Active member
I just got the hilarious image of Ruby driving a giant truck
"Hullo its Roobee and today I'm going to be showing you a day in my life as a long-haul truck driver"
That's uncalled for; a lot of people make funny faces when a camera is pointed at them, especially if they're feeling awkward or put on the spot.
i am not wanting to “police” what people say - I know that’s a red flag on here and I was already sanctioned on the SJ thread for questioning someone’s comments on bulimia. But as someone who is recovered from anorexia, and knows that many people who follow this thread also struggle with an ED, I do think we need to be careful.
I find saying “lol” in relation to an eating disorder really quite troubling. I also want to make a quick interjection on the term“bingeing” in relation to anorexia recovery (based on something my therapist told me). It’s not true “bingeing”, it’s reactive eating. This often occurs simply out of our body’s desperation for food, and can be utterly terrifying; however, honouring it is one of the best things you can do. It is the reason I can call myself “recovered” now (or as much as I believe I ever will be, as like addiction I think it it always somewhat with you).
Personally I haven’t noticed any real change in her appearance. And I’m not talking about weight, so much as overall “life” in her face/eyes. They still look empty and drawn to me, which is so saddening to see as it takes me right back to where I was.
As I said, I don’t want to police. But reading comments on “rapid weight gain”/ bingeing, and calling her fingers “chubby” - I worry the impact that could have on others reading.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
"I was gyowing to have a pot of teaaa, bOt it's jost syo warm today, and I was MOCH more in the myood for Kombyooocha," Ruby lies, starting off her latest video with an especially blatant undeclared ad.
The question she's apparently been asked non-stop is, "What's next after graduation?" Ruby delivers her non-answer like she's an especially shitty self-help guru or a hive mind of malfunctioning robotic circuits: "It's a question we're consistently ahhhsked. We are able tyoo pot off aaahsnwering."
Ruby goes off on a manic, bug-eyed rambed that she "still doesn't knyow" what she wants to do, but there's a lot of "PRASSHURE" for people to know exactly what they want to do after graduation. "Syo many of us are in the sayme byoat with this," she says, not reading the room.
For normal people, there's pressure to know what you're doing next. Because normal people don't often have the luxury or money to wait around for their dream job to fall into their laps and have to get a fucking job quickly to pay their bills and don't live in an endless field of harvestable privilege.
People who own their own home before graduation, can live in their parents' manor for the rest of their lives, have a hoarded stash of stolen charity money and a steady stream of gifted clothes and dodgy ad cash for products they never use coming in, who can afford to just piss around in their garden acting like a child all day long? They don't know shit about pressure. YOU ARE NOT LIKE YOUR AUDIENCE, RUBY. You and the average student are not in the same boat. They're in a collapsible dinghy struggling to stay afloat. You're in a private fucking yacht, spitting over the side at the poor bastards left in your toxic wake.
It's okay to acknowledge that because of the immense privilege you have, that you don't have any real idea how most people live or any concept of the pressure they feel. You won't get burned at the stake for it. You might even reclaim a sliver of respect for it.
Ruby says it's okay if you don't have a "claaaehrr ideeehr" of what your future will look like. She doesn't, and she's JANuinely okay with that, HONESTLY! She does her now-patented one-eyed squint poker tell that she always does when she's lying. Terror consumes her now that adulthood is banging at her door like a charity wanting their money back.
"Syo I submitted my dissertation a copple of dyays agyo, and I've got to sayy, it was really anticlimacti--"
Ruby starts the next section of her video too early then interrupts herself with a blank title card.
This lazy dunce has a wide-open schedule now she's graduated and still can't put a tiny amount of time and effort into properly editing her video.
Even though she's already shown or mentioned submitting her dissertation about 16 times in the past week, she felt that we needed to see it again for some reason:
"Wahhhrd count is...EIGHT SAVVEN NOIYN SIX," she brags, looking to the camera expectantly, waiting for an applause, a parade, a handwritten letter of congratulations from Lewis Carroll's estate and a sponsorship from Waterstones as a reward for going nearly 800 words over the word count like a fucking moron.
8,000 words is the limit for Exeter's English dissertation. Most universities expect you to include all footnotes, references, etc. in your word count. Add to that the clearly atrocious state of her planning and writing for it and she's destined to fail. Just call her Roodawakening, because she's in for one.
This isn't a galaxy-themed desktop wallpaper. Those specs on the screen aren't constellations. This is just Ruby's laptop screen caked in filth, fingerprints and dust yet again. I can only assume she did a shocked spit-take several years ago when the university didn't give her a First grade for something and she just never cleaned the matcha, peas and baked bean smoothie off her screen.
Ruby rambles some more shoddily-edited nonsense.
"I reMAMBER--ENGLISH teacher SAYING TO MEE roiyt before I star--like before I lafft univarrsity that..umm...like handing in your dissertation and finishing your degree is the myost anticlimactic thing AVVER becozz you hand in your dissertation and than you leave and you're like, "Ee'yokay, wal...thahr wee gyoo, I'm don!"" (Hi, Don!)
Reading between the lines, this poor, harassed English lecturer (at least I hope it was a lecturer and Ruby's not still harassing her school teachers) was probably just warning Ruby to set her expectations for her final grade super fucking low. Subterranean low. Like, so low that her head'll poke out in Australia and some dude will be like, "You only got a Lower Second there, mate? Bloody hell... Well, that's alroite, mate. If you can drive a ute and hold a shovel and a coldie you'll be alroite in life, mate. No worries."
Ruby announces that she's going to go for a walk because she's "DAFFinitely negLACKTING GATTING...FRASH AAHR the lahhst few days".
But first, some "conventional relaxation". Everyone else just calls this relaxation, but evidently if you're a malfunctioning Tory robot tour guide who escaped from the world's most factually-incorrect museum, you have to differentiate between "relaxation" (busywork) and "conventional relaxation" (smugly counting your Kombucha money on your dusty, dusty child's bed).
"I'm jost gonna watch some YOUUU-CHOOOB in BAD becozz oiy CANN," she says, obnoxiously.
Newsflash, Ruby: You always could. Almost every other student got their work done every week in a fraction of the time you did and then had fun, watched YouTube and lived their damn lives. And the kicker? Most of them are going to get grades equal to or better than yours. Hold the smugness until your dissertation is graded, then ask yourself if forcing yourself not to enjoy life for several years was worth it.
Also, why the hell is any of this here? This is supposed to be a sit-down life update. Other than to cram in some filler footage of Ruby showing herself bragging about non-accomplishments, why is this included?
With more smug grins, Ruby rambles some more about handing in her dissertation. Unless you're here to show your dissertation "depacle" or the disastrous grade you get for it, nobody cares.
She claims that her "headspace is SYO different" since submitting her dissertation, but this is the tell-tale voice of denial speaking with a shitty fake Hermione accent.
Ruby mentions that she's had her YouTube channel for 7 years now, and shows some old footage.
All it serves to prove is how nothing at all has changed. Aside from the haircut, her rapidly declining physical condition and her worsening accent, her content is absolutely identical.
Staring dead-eyed and joylessly into the middle-distance, scribbling away as clocks tick to try to prove that she was busy, her entire childhood and all her formative years have been completely wasted. She's squandered every opportunity she's been given. And none of that "wahhrk" will mean anything. Her degree won't open any new doors for her. She didn't enjoy it. She didn't learn anything. It was all a waste. It'd be so sad if it wasn't all completely self-inflicted and she wasn't such a terrible person.
Of course, Ruby doesn't acknowledge this in any way. She frames graduation as the culmination of an epic achievement for her, despite accomplishing nothing. She's still deep in denial, and still tries to convince everyone that she "REALLY DID ENJOY WAHHHRKING ON" her dissertation and writing about "episs-tollury theory letters", which isn't a combination of real words, let alone words that make sense combined. If you have to keep stressing in every single video that you "REALLY DYO" enjoy something, all it does is call attention to the fact that you don't.
The fact that Ruby still hasn't learned to pronounce "eh-pistol-airy" is just a microcosm of her entire life in academia; she's learned nothing and refused to grow or improve in any tiny way, even after repeatedly being corrected. She's just profoundly stupid. If a coat rack gained sentience, it'd still be smarter than Ruby and wear fewer stupid hats.
Still in detached-from-reality mode and incapable of self-reflection, Ruby claims that her dissertation was the climax of years of work and an ode to her love for letter-writing because she pretended to read Frankenstein years ago. Only Ruby doesn't seem to have written a dissertation about epistolary literature. She wrote nearly 9,000 words of drivel about gift culture and other irrelevant nonsense.
It wasn't the content of her dissertation, the work involved or the learning she had to do that was a challenge, Ruby claims - those are second nature to Ol' Rubert the Barely Functional, even though she worked on it for a year, struggled to write anything coherent, learned nothing and was floundering with it up until the last second. No, it was the "PRASSHURE" involved. Apparently the word "dissertation" is a signifier of "STRASS AND PRASSHURE AND ACKS-PACK-TAY-SHUNS" and merely hearing it will cause even the most hardened academic to cower in fear or have a nervous breakdown. Ruby talks about the word "dissertation" like it were the name "Candyman", "Beetlejuice" or "Voldemort": Don't say it out loud or it will unleash nightmarish chaos unto your degree.
"People say, "Oh...your dissertation...you'll have to write that at the end of your degree..."," Ruby says with an ominous tone. Nobody has ever said that. And if they did, it was purely instructional, not a grim portent of fucking doom. Yes, you have to write a dissertation at the end of your degree. In other news: The sky's blue and water's wet.
A dissertation is just a long essay. That's it. Ruby constantly brags about going thousands of words over the limit like it's an accomplishment, so it shouldn't have been a struggle for her. It's not some demonic academic curse-word. Ruby only had a conniption trying to write hers because she'd cheated her way through university by reverse-engineering work from other people's essays and ideas up until then and deprived her brain of growth and the opportunity to practice independent thought. When her dissertation came around, she was clueless, and that was all her fault.
After what feels like a lifetime of Ruby stressing how important a dissertation is and making a big production out of finishing hers, with multiple videos about submitting it, she finally says, "It's just a glorified ASS-ay. Oiy'm not saying it's not significant, I'm jost saying that oiy saw it as something mwoar significant than it actually was." But she says it with a dramatic eyebrow raise and glum, victimised look off to the side, as though the system set her up for failure somehow.
Reminder: Ruby ignored all instruction and sensible advice and tried to approach her dissertation like a PhD thesis, with grand expectations that it would impact future scholarship as she planned Dark Macademia adventures to archive collections to uncover lost manuscripts and research already irrelevant tangential parts of her essay. She's an idiot, and those inflated expectations and pressure were all her fault.
She keeps on rambling with some authoritarian tone about completing uni: "You suddenly have autonomy and you CAN make a decision."
Ruby rambles just the most incoherent, babbling bullshit and keeps talking about autonomy, either with no understanding of what the word means, or just no understanding of reality. To hear Ruby tell it, we all sleepwalk through school, college and university unaware of our ability to make life decisions, and it's only when we graduate from university that we become aware that we have the ability to make choices in life.
She quotes Sartre to try to prove her point, even though by her own admission, she's quoting him out of context. Sartre says that if there is no higher power dictating the path and meaning of our life, then we ourselves are responsible for finding meaning in our lives and making our own choices.
Trying desperately to sound smart and well-educated, Ruby's nonsensical babbling about "autonomy" somehow conflates academic institutions with a "higher power". She makes it sounds like when you graduate, the academic god pulling your strings is revealed to be no more than a powerless, pencil-pushing administrator and suddenly you're in control of your own destiny like Jim Carrey at the end of The Truman Show. It's a sudden rush of adventurous freedom, just as long as nobody expects Ruby to get a fucking job.
It's utter, incomprehensible madness spouted by someone who made their entire life all about academia at the expense of everything else. Again, we're not all in the same boat on this, Ruby. Almost everyone else saw university as a chance to learn things, an opportunity to grow, or the route to better career opportunities. Almost everyone else was making all their own life decisions throughout university and actually lived a life alongside it. Almost nobody was making academic their defining purpose in life and making it their entire identity. This special brand of insane stupidity is yours alone.
After 8 minutes of pointless, meandering drivel and half the video wasted, Ruby threatens to come close to a point. "What am I ackshually gyowing to dyo NAXT - what are moiy plans?"
"I have an awaahrness of my border life gyoals and values, boht NOT spassifics," she says, without realising that her first point of call should be to arrange some speech therapy sessions and re-learn the English language from scratch, as almost every word is pronounced or used wrong ("broader" becomes "border" somehow). Drunk pirates with debilitating brain injuries would be more articulate and coherent than this human mess of malapropisms and blundered speech.
It's interesting that she mentions her "values" for after graduation, as though she has an ounce of integrity left in her and hasn't spent the last few years stealing and compulsively lying at every opportunity.
And then she gets distracted again and says she's been sat there for too long and needs to change locations.
By "change lyocations", she just means "drag moiy utterly destroyed chahhr to a different corner of moiy BADroom".
Why the pointless change? Why waste people's time telling them that you're going to change locations instead of just cutting to it? Well, Ruby's a complete moron whose editing skills are worse than those of an enraged primate set loose at a laptop, just angrily slamming keys randomly with not thought or planning, flinging fecal matter (both metaphorical and literal) all over the place.
Ruby says she wants to take a gap year to get to know herself better outside of academia. Which would be a good albeit far too late plan, if she were actually planning on doing anything new or growing as a person.
"Since I was foiyve yahhrs old, moi dream was to wroiyte books for a living, so I jost want to spend a yahhr dyoing that" she says. Even though she shat out one unedited draft for sale five years ago and then gave up, despite having all the time and opportunity to write whatever she wanted, promote it and self-publish it if she desperately wanted to write.
She pays lip service to her privilege without properly acknowledging or understanding it.
"I'm in a really privileged position WHAAHR becozz of YouChoob--becozz of the people whyoo watch moiy videos, I'm in a financially stable position where I can take a yeahhr out," she says, with no mention that she was born into an immensely wealthy family of tax-dodging Tories who allow her to live rent-free in their manor home.
She then, without trace of self-awareness, compares herself to Stephen King - not in terms of quality, she stresses, but because King lived in near-poverty and had to make sacrifices to support himself/family and to make time for his writing. Only...King had to work to support himself through college. He worked afterwards to support himself while writing. In what imaginary reality is this even remotely close to Ruby, whose pampered, silver spoon existence has meant that she's never had to work a single day in her entire life and has the luxury of being able to sit on her ass for a year without worry or responsibility, writing unchecked gibberish? She's completely detached from reality.
"Wroiyting is the thing I love myost, it's the thing I love dyoing more than ANNYthing alse," she lies, rewriting history. This was the reason for the change in location, by the way: Ruby wanted to be seen in front of all the books she hasn't read as some kind of proof that she LOVES reading and is a natural-born writer.
If you love doing something more than anything else, you tend to do it more occasionally than never. Ruby has shown her "daily" routines and schedules for years, and though they're stitched together from a fabric of lies and grand exaggerations, she's not mentioned writing regularly in years. And when she did, it was relegated to a one hour or less slot in her schedule years ago.
She's had all the time and opportunity to write and the platform to market and published whatever she wanted people to pay to read. She chose to fill that time with pointless, redundant busywork instead.
She doesn't love writing any more than she loves reading or studying. It's just another time-filler affectation because she can't use academia as the sole, defining trait of her identity anymore, and this is the closest thing she could come up with. Her revisionist rewriting of history doesn't ring true. It's pure horseshit. Like Stephen King, if someone loves writing or have passion for any creative outlet, they'll find or make the time to do it alongside their other responsibilities. Ruby never did because she never cared to.
It says so much, too, that Ruby's main writing project is a YA book - a genre that she's voiced her disinterest in and dislike of so many times before. She's cynically writing to chase fame and money, not out of any passion for the craft. If she loved writing so much, she could've self-published again at any time. She never has because she wants fame and money out of it, even though ironically she'd get more money self-publishing than the notoriously poor pay that most writers earn unless they're Stephen King or JK Rowling. Ruby already thinks she'll be part of that top 1%.
She claims she's working on that YA mystery book, two other novels, short stories, and so on. There's been almost no mention of this in her vlogs and daily routines, which she swears are accurate depictions of her time, so when did all these projects happen, Ruby? And if they did, in what world is it a good idea to juggle multiple large-scale projects when you're struggling to get just one in a readable, satisfactory state for your agent to approve?
But this is a sign of Ruby's year to come. Multiple writing projects will take the place of her academic projects on her schedule of busywork. She'll give them each a rigid slot on her to-do list and flit between them mindlessly, with no joy or creative passion for any of it. It's just more time-wasting to fill her day.
Ruby mentions that she wants to spend the year writing to "built up a portfolio, experiment with different JOHN-ruz." Again, writing is the thing she claims to love more than anything else, and her entire body of work to date is Erimentha Fucking Parker. And to experiment with different genres, you have to try reading those genres, which we know Ruby isn't going to do.
But hey, writing isn't the only joyless shit she'll do this year to try to craft a new superficial persona for herself! She also plans to travel.
Firstly, she wants to visit the homes of her "favourite authors" (translation: "respected authors whose work Ruby hasn't read, much less understood"), like "AMMily Dickinson", "Nah-THANE-nyul Hawthorne" and "Hay-Herman Melville". You can tell they're JANuinely her favourite authors by how correctly she pronounces their names.
And then she'll do a Masters after that, she claims.
Then she gets bored of pretending she reads or has a personality that isn't completely fabricated, so she announces another change of locations. Why? Who the fuck knows, but she shows no less than 4 different different shots of her journey to the garden, for some reason:
Reminder: Ruby does not have multiple cameras set up in her kitchen and yard. She relocated the camera several times to film herself walking past and then had to return to get the camera. Why would anyone do this when they can just cut to a new location. What is wrong with her brain? Why are her shorts so gigantic? Just why?
In her garden, sat on rusty furniture, she makes a point to say how beautiful that birdsong is on this day... The birds chirping is suspiciously clear even as Ruby's voice is barely audible. Even more suspicious, the sounds of the birds overlaps the cut between camera angles, so it was added afterwards.
Back in January, Ruby filmed herself recording birdsong:
There was another video around that time where she was leaning stupidly far out the window to do the same thing. She never explained what it was for.
Has she just been slapping fake, pre-recorded ambient audio over videos? And if so, why do they still all sound like imploding ass?
She said she was coming out here to do a Q&A, but then she pulls out crafting supplies and says she's going to write a "LATTER". Why? Why is this included? This isn't a vlog, Ruby. Just tell people what your plans are for the next year and then retreat back into your childhood cavern of dust and bronchitis.
She says she had lots of questions on Instagram, but then doesn't show them. Instead she just slaps up footage of her scrolling her Instagram grid and watching her own reels for some reason. It's like narcissistic Inception.
She hilariously skips past a reel of her declaring a Perkier bar ad as gifted, which is funny since for 6 months+ after that, she shoehorned underclared ads for them everywhere she could while conveniently neglecting to mention that brand relationship.
Q: "Will you keep making YouTube videos?"
Ruby's Answer: "I dyon't knyow if I can imagine myaking YouChoob videos foravvar, but I REALLY enjoy maykying them and cahhhn't imagine stopping anytoiyme syoon. My content will change to accommodate what oiy'm dyooing"
Actual Answer: "I hate making videos and have no content ideas. However, I will ride YouTube into the fucking ground until either it stops generating money and questionable opportunities for sponsorships or I drop dead, whichever happens first. All my future content will be indistinguishable from the past 7 years of low-effort, creatively barren videos, only the nature of the lies I tell might change."
Q: "Will you move to London?"
Ruby's Answer: "Nyo, I wyon't. I lived in AXATAR, which is a small citee, and I still didn't really loiyke living in a citee."
Actual Answer: "My mummy doesn't live in London, why would I move there? I did spend a few weeks in Exeter over the past four years, so as you can see, I have been VARRY independent."
Q: "Are you moving out?"
Ruby's Answer: "I AM gyowing to be living with my parents for the naxt yeahhr--"
At this point, Ruby interrupts herself to say that her camera ran out. She definitely didn't throw a tantrum at the idea that she cut the umbilical cord already and move out, possibly to the cottage she bought. Also, you know what prevents cameras from "running out" mid-sentence? Check them beforehand and don't waste footage by recording your journey through your garden of tetanus.
She also wanted an excuse to show off some more gifted, undeclared Kombucha.
Ruby's Answer: "Yahh, rilly privileged position because my parents are happy for me tyoo bee staying at hyome AND...OIY...really WANT to stay at hyome, like, I enjoy being with my parents. I've always been a STAUNCH REPONENT of, y'kyow, koiyd of...'dyo what waaahrks for yoo, dyoo what's basst for yoo'. Syo...even if it's unconventional, I'm still gyowing to be living with my parents naxt yearhrhr."
Actual Answer: "I don't want to grow up. Being at home makes me feel more like a child. Here I can replace my adult bed with that of a child. I wear child's clothes. I can eat baby food. I can read exclusively children's books. This bubble of childish fantasy reminds me of the time when I was young and people told me I was gifted because I asked for more homework once. But since then, I've been reminded at every turn that I'm not special or talented in any real way. I'm not even average. I'm stupider than all the poor people I looked down on who went out and partied as teenagers. It's not fair. And so I'm going to keep doing this for as long as I can, until the burden of my presence and childish, tantrum-throwing entitlement tears my parents apart. I don't care if my physical and mental health rapidly deteriorate every time I'm home as I starve myself in an effort to look like a prepubescent Victorian girl."
Q: Are you planning on travelling?
Ruby's Answer: "YASS, I'm planning on gyowing to Amarricka for a bit ANDDD I want to dyo a little bit of syo-lyo travelling Europp az wal, just a little bit. I want to gyo to literary lyocations and wroiyting retreats."
Actual Answer: "I have a lot of stolen charity money left to pay for all the holidays I want. My mummy and daddy will take me, if they know what's good for them. One on of these holidays, I might walk around the block by myself and claim this was a solo trip. I have to make sure I'm seen writing in public at least once. This is like studying in coffee shops: I need to be witnessed pretending to be smart, diligent and talented by the unwashed masses that I despise."
Q: "How do you schedule a day now that university is over?"
Ruby's Answer: "[Nonsensical ramble about finding purpose and meaning in something else to replace studying] I'm not sticking tyoo a rigid toiymetable."
Actual Answer: "I'm sticking to a rigid timetable. It's still just endless busywork. I don't enjoy any of it and I should be spending my free time finding something that I actually enjoy. Oh well, lies and busywork it is!"
Q: "How is your book going?"
Ruby's Answer: "After talking with moiy agent agann, WE said that is needs mwoarr waaahrk. I've written a lot of drafts, but I DON'T WANT to publish it until I'm happy with it. I don't want to write a bad book."
Actual Answer: "I wrote a bad book. Yes, another one. I want you to forget about Erimentha Parker. Erimentha Parker doesn't exist. But this new book is bad, too. I'd happily publish it right now without editing a single sentence, but my agent keeps saying a collection of gibberish words strung together in nonsensical combinations won't sell. I keep throwing tantrums, but it doesn't seem to be working so far. Every time I submit a new draft, she keeps finding new things wrong with it. It's almost like I have no talent. But I don't get it! All the books I stole from while writing this book were bestsellers, so surely all those parts combined should equal a MEGA-BESTSELLER! I think my agent must be the problem, it definitely can't be me. Also, remember when I typed that psychotic motivational rant in Notion and claimed I'm never rely on YouTube to promote and sell my book? Anyway."
Q: "What's your definition of success?"
Ruby's Answer: ""WHAT is yourr DAFFINTION of SOCKSASS?" I think gyoals to a sarrtan axe-tant are arbitrary. It's this hyole thing of delaying happiness. For me, success is tied to happiness and fulfilment ANDD happiness and fulfilment WITHREGARDSTOPRODOCKTIVITEE can only comm when you're enjoying that pro-sass."
Actual Answer: "GRADESGRADESGRADES! MONEYMONEYMONEY! PRAISEPRAISEPRAISE! But I don't want to have to work for any of it."
Q: "Will academia still be a part of your life?"
Ruby's Answer: "MYOST DAFFINITELY ABSOLYOOTELEE SYO! Bot oiy'm gyowing to axe-pand "academia" tyoo refarr tyoo addyucaytion and laahrning...(You heard it here, folks: Academia doesn't already refer to education and learning)...I DAFFINITELY want to be laahrning nyoo things AND I cyan't imagine that not being a part of moiy life jost becoz I love lahrrning syo moch."
Actual Answer: "I haven't learned anything yet, I'm not about to fucking start now! What are you, crazy? I'm definitely going to keep trying my best to pretend to be smart, though."
Q: "Will you be learning to drive?"
Ruby's Answer: "YASS! I didn't laahrn to droiyve whan I was savventeen bot I did want to lahhrn just before the pan-dammic. But now I want to laahrn because it will give me syo moch myore autonomy and indepanndance."
Actual Answer: "FUCK NOOO. Driving is for adults. I'm not doing that shit. Sitting in the back seat while mummy and daddy drive me everywhere is much more conducive to a child-like lifestyle. Besides, would you want someone with my dwindling mental capacity and non-existent attention span behind the wheel of a car? I'm distracted by every cloud I see! If I do that on the road, an entire pavement-full of pedestrians are dead, and I'm not sure even daddy's swindled tax money can buy my way out of that one. I may buy a child's tricycle, but only if it's a vintage Victorian once."
Q: "Is growing up as scary as it seems?"
Ruby's Answer: "NYO! IT'S NYOT! Growing up was always my biggest feahrr and than it happened and it was nyot what oiy'd baked it up to be. It was syo much easier than I thought, and oiy'm ecks-soyted to bee the age that oiy amm."
Actual answer:
Q: "Why didn't you choose to do a masters straight from university?"
Ruby's Answer: "I felt like I wanted some space from academics."
Actual Answer: "My dissertation gave me a small taste of what adult education is like when I can't cheat. I don't like feeling that stupid. No thankyou, please. And if I can't go to Oxford, I'm just not interested."
Q: "What are you most excited for this summer?"
Ruby's Answer: "My parents are taking me to Italy! I've wanted tyoo gyo avver since I rad Call Me Boiy Your Nayme in TWANTY TWANTY."
Actual Answer: "My parents are taking me to Italy! I've wanted to go ever since I pretended to read Call Me By Your Name in 2020."
And then she films herself writing a letter for some reason. But you can still hear birdsong loudly and clearly even though her windows are closed. She added the birdsong audio over the footage without adjusting the volume levels, so it just sounds like there's wild birds loose in her house.
What a fucking idiot.
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gossip_guy
VIP Member
I can't seem the find these ones either:
-'Hermione Granger Mid Afternoon (3pm-4:30pm) Routine (Cottagecore Coal Miner Goth Viking Academia)'
-'Hermione Granger Russian Cosmonaut Outfit Tutorial.'
-'How to act like Hermione Granger if she were trapped in a lift with that one person at work who she'd been having small talk conversations with for several years, but whose name she still didn't know, but by now it was far too late to ask.'
-'First time watching The Human Centipede as Hermione Granger.'
-'How to act like Hermione Granger when finding out that your father is under investigation for tax fraud.'
-'Day out in North Korea as Hermione Granger.'
-'Hermione Granger goes to prison for defrauding a charity roleplay.'
-'How to act like Hermione Granger when you're diagnosed with crippling, explosive diarrhoea.'
slamvs27
VIP Member
What I do on my study breaks: nap, take the dog out, play with the dog, eat, just lie there listening to music, check Tattle 
On a more serious note: Ruby's videos are genuinely harmful, and I'm speaking from first-hand experience. I first stumbled on her 14-hour study videos when I was in high school, around 16. I already WAS doing 14-hour study days, and my friends and family were showing concern. I sacrificed sleep to get perfect grades. When Ruby Granger popped up on my recommended, she showed me that this sort of behaviour WAS normal and that I didn't need help. My friends and family would invite me to go out, get brunch, etc. and I deemed these behaviours as "unproductive." It was so toxic- I was working all the time. My self-alienation and low self-value (that relied on grades only) made me spiral into psychosis and depression. I wouldn't blame Ruby specifically for causing my mental health issues, but she certainly helped exacerbate them. If she never uploaded videos like this I would have gotten help, and not pushed people away from me or dug myself into a further hell-hole. It was only after I graduated high school I finally got help, and my therapist helped me realize SHE is the one who's not normal. I, and everyone else, should never feel guilty for not working 24/7. We have a right to exist, even if we are relaxing.
That being said, I'm doing much better mentally right now. I just feel so horrible for the young students who might be in my previous position as well. Tattle keeps me sane as well, especially I feel myself slipping into these old behaviours/ habits. Thank you guys
TLDR: Ruby Granger is not a role model. She needs to get off the internet because she's doing more harm than good.
On a more serious note: Ruby's videos are genuinely harmful, and I'm speaking from first-hand experience. I first stumbled on her 14-hour study videos when I was in high school, around 16. I already WAS doing 14-hour study days, and my friends and family were showing concern. I sacrificed sleep to get perfect grades. When Ruby Granger popped up on my recommended, she showed me that this sort of behaviour WAS normal and that I didn't need help. My friends and family would invite me to go out, get brunch, etc. and I deemed these behaviours as "unproductive." It was so toxic- I was working all the time. My self-alienation and low self-value (that relied on grades only) made me spiral into psychosis and depression. I wouldn't blame Ruby specifically for causing my mental health issues, but she certainly helped exacerbate them. If she never uploaded videos like this I would have gotten help, and not pushed people away from me or dug myself into a further hell-hole. It was only after I graduated high school I finally got help, and my therapist helped me realize SHE is the one who's not normal. I, and everyone else, should never feel guilty for not working 24/7. We have a right to exist, even if we are relaxing.
That being said, I'm doing much better mentally right now. I just feel so horrible for the young students who might be in my previous position as well. Tattle keeps me sane as well, especially I feel myself slipping into these old behaviours/ habits. Thank you guys
TLDR: Ruby Granger is not a role model. She needs to get off the internet because she's doing more harm than good.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby's Management: "Merry Christmas! We got you a little something we think you'll love!
"Ruby: "A WATERSTONES DEAL?!?!
"Ruby's Management: "Um...well, no. This is awkward. We already got that for Jack..."
Ruby: "Oh my gosh, is it a book deal?!?!
"Ruby's Management: "Ah, jeez...This is double awkward. We got that for Vee..."
Ruby: "Well, is it a--"
Ruby's Management: "--Look, it's some dead flowers, okay? Goodbye."
nissigossips
Well-known member
Yes, when people jump to defend Ruby with stuff like "oh she doesnt know what shes doing, shes just naive and innocent" I just want to scream at them to stop treating her like a child when she is a landlord!!!
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Oh, great, another routine video with another sponsored ad for something she never uses.
"I've spoken about Karma so, so much!*" *...in sponsored videos only.
"I use the Karma app guys, genuinely!" Her new favourite thing is saying "genuinely" a lot when she's lying.
"I will ALWAYS use it to make sure I get the best deal." If she says she "ALWAYS" does something, it's a dead giveaway that she never does it.
"I installed it on all my family member's computers!" Because adding shitty extentions, viruses and spyware and god knows what else without their permission is always a fun idea.
STERN POINT
"Ten pre-cent off! Ten pre-cent off!" She's like a malfunctioning robot car salesperson.
"Po-tan-shally."
STERN POINT AGAIN
"GENUINELY!"
The reason for Ruby's sudden decision to start cycling to campus is revealed: It's because Blakeney does it. And Blakeney probably only started doing it to get away from Ruby for twenty precious minutes a day until Ruby had her parents drive her bike all the way to AXE-eter so she could do it, too.
"And we're always so cold after the bike ride," Ruby says, as if she and Blakeney share a hive mind and it's not just Ruby's eating disorder making her cold all the time.
"So, it's deadline season, which is why the kitchen is an absolute state." It must have been deadline season in Ruby's family home every day for several years then.
Things that "Deadline Season" doesn't prevent:
Weekly trips home.
Daily trips to touch every single book in Waterstones.
Spending an entire day making Christmas cards, then deciding not to use them.
14 hours a day of redundant busywork.
Things that "Deadline Season" prevents:
Cleaning.
Returning stolen money to charities.
Ruby moans at Blakeney for panning across the mess littering their kitchen while filming in case people think they live in squalor. Yet she still thought it was a good idea to film, edit and upload a video showing the place looking like a shithole, and hasn't hesitated to proudly show the disgusting swamp that is her family kitchen all the time.
Bike lights and lock that you need every day at uni when cycling to campus? Better not keep those in a location that's even remotely convenient or near to your bike. The bottom of a sock drawer is a much better location!
Electric lamp? Not aesthetic or nearly dangerous enough. Candles lit by super sustainable gas lighter and perilously close to flammable materials? Now we're talking. Ruby doesn't feel alive anymore unless something could catch fire at a moment's notice!
And then Ruby just puts the main lights on anyway.
CreeperCam.
Ruby eats a tiny fraction of fruit and half a Perkier bar. "Perkier bars are honestly so amazing," she says. And it's a gifted product that she's been sent before, but she doesn't declare this.
Then it's time to skip to what's likely a different day, where Ruby does all the dishes and goes to a yoga class. This is supposed to be a routine, so Ruby implies that she does this every day, which definitely isn't true.
Their cleaning solution is apparently to just dump all dirt, filth, food remnants and whatnot directly onto the ground and hope the carpet absorbs it all. It's not working so far, but that could change any day now.
Ruby sets up a camera on a wall to record herself walking like a moron, then looks like she's panicking because someone rides by.
"I don't always do this," she says as she goes to Waitrose - expensive supermarket of choice for Tories - to get a Kombucha. If Ruby says she doesn't always do something, it's a dead giveaway that she always does it. Besides, Ruby, this is a routine video. It's supposed to be things you always do.
She sets her camera on a random shelf and films herself putting the Kombucha bottle on the shelf only to pick it up again. Then later shows a shot of herself picking it up again.
CreeperCam 2: The Creepening.
Ruby shows a rare meal that looks slightly more substantial than her usual porridge and dust medley. Of course this was made by Blakeney, and apparently the only way to get anything resembling actual food on Ruby’s plate is to ambush her with it by making surprise, unscheduled meals. There's still no evidence that Ruby actually ate any of it though.
Ruby rushes to do the dishes, presumably to avoid eating. Her washing up technique consists of giving each item a quick, sporadic blast of cold water and dumping it on the rack. No dish soap, no sponge, no scourer, no cleaning. Just a quick, glancing blast on two opposite corners and she's done. Filth and bacteria has a permanent, rent-free home on all those dishes.
After defrosting a wheatgrass shot, which will probably be her entire breakfast, and drinking her Kombucha, Ruby takes out her contacts because she's getting a headache. And it's definitely the contacts and not severe malnutrition.
She decides to do some uni "work". Now, she claims she's doing "critical reading and research bits" and started work on a play she was going to read for her Life and Death module. Only, the thing about recording your screen is that people can see what you're doing.
Ruby shows herself Googling a plot summary for the play she hasn't even read yet, and starts copying entire chunks of it into Notion to make her own summary.
Why would anyone do this, or start reading critical material before the play itself, you might ask? They wouldn't. Not if they were going to read the play. But Ruby does this for every assignment. It's yet another assigned text that she will not read, and this is just a cheating shortcut to avoid reading the play.
Ruby lies and says her "car-tuns" are so big that she can't close them without climbing on the desk, even though the back of her desk and those big fucking drapey things that people call curtains are in arm's reach.
Ruby then rambles about face masks for far too long. "I never use face masks, but I always feel so relaxed after doing it," she says, contradicting herself immediately because her brain is malourished sludge at this point. That's like saying, "I never steal from charities, but I always feel so much better every time I see the charity money I stole in my bank."
Apparently it's too common for people to use face masks as "performative" self-care. Ruby says this with zero self-awareness. Her entire life is a series of performative lies and affectations, but it's other people that use face masks that are wrong.
She rambles more complete drivel about how her face mask treatment is a preventative measure to keep herself from getting burned out and getting overwhelmed by deadline stress.
What apparently isn't an option to keeping from getting overwhelmed with work is actually doing the reading, cutting out all the endless busywork that eats up most of her time, or stopping running back home every few days so that she has more time in a week to stay on top of the relatively small amount of work she actually has. Note how she also doesn't recommend a full, nutritious diet of actual food as a preventative measure to stay healthy and alert.
Ruby butts in from another day entirely to spout some nonsense about a daily "jah-nel" she does. It's mostly incomprehensible.
"Re-FLACK-shuns".
"Something tangible I learnt in a lack-churr."
STERN POINT.
"MY HOUSE IS COLD."
Back in the past, she sets some more fires, which will definitely go down well considering her pillowy duvet cover is already draped against the bedside table, ready to touch the open flame with the slightest adjustment.
Ruby pretends to read YA book Truly Devious, but says she doesn't like it because it might be a bit too young for her. Reminder: The only books that Ruby has actually read to completion over the past few year have been children's books with a max page count of 40 and a recommended reading age of 3.
"YASS, after that, I will just turn off the light."
Ruby’s room with the light off apparently, which is somehow still brighter than the sun itself.
"I've spoken about Karma so, so much!*" *...in sponsored videos only.
"I use the Karma app guys, genuinely!" Her new favourite thing is saying "genuinely" a lot when she's lying.
"I will ALWAYS use it to make sure I get the best deal." If she says she "ALWAYS" does something, it's a dead giveaway that she never does it.
"I installed it on all my family member's computers!" Because adding shitty extentions, viruses and spyware and god knows what else without their permission is always a fun idea.
STERN POINT
"Ten pre-cent off! Ten pre-cent off!" She's like a malfunctioning robot car salesperson.
"Po-tan-shally."
STERN POINT AGAIN
"GENUINELY!"
The reason for Ruby's sudden decision to start cycling to campus is revealed: It's because Blakeney does it. And Blakeney probably only started doing it to get away from Ruby for twenty precious minutes a day until Ruby had her parents drive her bike all the way to AXE-eter so she could do it, too.
"And we're always so cold after the bike ride," Ruby says, as if she and Blakeney share a hive mind and it's not just Ruby's eating disorder making her cold all the time.
"So, it's deadline season, which is why the kitchen is an absolute state." It must have been deadline season in Ruby's family home every day for several years then.
Things that "Deadline Season" doesn't prevent:
Weekly trips home.
Daily trips to touch every single book in Waterstones.
Spending an entire day making Christmas cards, then deciding not to use them.
14 hours a day of redundant busywork.
Things that "Deadline Season" prevents:
Cleaning.
Returning stolen money to charities.
Ruby moans at Blakeney for panning across the mess littering their kitchen while filming in case people think they live in squalor. Yet she still thought it was a good idea to film, edit and upload a video showing the place looking like a shithole, and hasn't hesitated to proudly show the disgusting swamp that is her family kitchen all the time.
Bike lights and lock that you need every day at uni when cycling to campus? Better not keep those in a location that's even remotely convenient or near to your bike. The bottom of a sock drawer is a much better location!
Electric lamp? Not aesthetic or nearly dangerous enough. Candles lit by super sustainable gas lighter and perilously close to flammable materials? Now we're talking. Ruby doesn't feel alive anymore unless something could catch fire at a moment's notice!
And then Ruby just puts the main lights on anyway.
CreeperCam.
Ruby eats a tiny fraction of fruit and half a Perkier bar. "Perkier bars are honestly so amazing," she says. And it's a gifted product that she's been sent before, but she doesn't declare this.
Then it's time to skip to what's likely a different day, where Ruby does all the dishes and goes to a yoga class. This is supposed to be a routine, so Ruby implies that she does this every day, which definitely isn't true.
Their cleaning solution is apparently to just dump all dirt, filth, food remnants and whatnot directly onto the ground and hope the carpet absorbs it all. It's not working so far, but that could change any day now.
Ruby sets up a camera on a wall to record herself walking like a moron, then looks like she's panicking because someone rides by.
"I don't always do this," she says as she goes to Waitrose - expensive supermarket of choice for Tories - to get a Kombucha. If Ruby says she doesn't always do something, it's a dead giveaway that she always does it. Besides, Ruby, this is a routine video. It's supposed to be things you always do.
She sets her camera on a random shelf and films herself putting the Kombucha bottle on the shelf only to pick it up again. Then later shows a shot of herself picking it up again.
CreeperCam 2: The Creepening.
Ruby shows a rare meal that looks slightly more substantial than her usual porridge and dust medley. Of course this was made by Blakeney, and apparently the only way to get anything resembling actual food on Ruby’s plate is to ambush her with it by making surprise, unscheduled meals. There's still no evidence that Ruby actually ate any of it though.
Ruby rushes to do the dishes, presumably to avoid eating. Her washing up technique consists of giving each item a quick, sporadic blast of cold water and dumping it on the rack. No dish soap, no sponge, no scourer, no cleaning. Just a quick, glancing blast on two opposite corners and she's done. Filth and bacteria has a permanent, rent-free home on all those dishes.
After defrosting a wheatgrass shot, which will probably be her entire breakfast, and drinking her Kombucha, Ruby takes out her contacts because she's getting a headache. And it's definitely the contacts and not severe malnutrition.
She decides to do some uni "work". Now, she claims she's doing "critical reading and research bits" and started work on a play she was going to read for her Life and Death module. Only, the thing about recording your screen is that people can see what you're doing.
Ruby shows herself Googling a plot summary for the play she hasn't even read yet, and starts copying entire chunks of it into Notion to make her own summary.
Why would anyone do this, or start reading critical material before the play itself, you might ask? They wouldn't. Not if they were going to read the play. But Ruby does this for every assignment. It's yet another assigned text that she will not read, and this is just a cheating shortcut to avoid reading the play.
Ruby lies and says her "car-tuns" are so big that she can't close them without climbing on the desk, even though the back of her desk and those big fucking drapey things that people call curtains are in arm's reach.
Ruby then rambles about face masks for far too long. "I never use face masks, but I always feel so relaxed after doing it," she says, contradicting herself immediately because her brain is malourished sludge at this point. That's like saying, "I never steal from charities, but I always feel so much better every time I see the charity money I stole in my bank."
Apparently it's too common for people to use face masks as "performative" self-care. Ruby says this with zero self-awareness. Her entire life is a series of performative lies and affectations, but it's other people that use face masks that are wrong.
She rambles more complete drivel about how her face mask treatment is a preventative measure to keep herself from getting burned out and getting overwhelmed by deadline stress.
What apparently isn't an option to keeping from getting overwhelmed with work is actually doing the reading, cutting out all the endless busywork that eats up most of her time, or stopping running back home every few days so that she has more time in a week to stay on top of the relatively small amount of work she actually has. Note how she also doesn't recommend a full, nutritious diet of actual food as a preventative measure to stay healthy and alert.
Ruby butts in from another day entirely to spout some nonsense about a daily "jah-nel" she does. It's mostly incomprehensible.
"Re-FLACK-shuns".
"Something tangible I learnt in a lack-churr."
"MY HOUSE IS COLD."
Back in the past, she sets some more fires, which will definitely go down well considering her pillowy duvet cover is already draped against the bedside table, ready to touch the open flame with the slightest adjustment.
Ruby pretends to read YA book Truly Devious, but says she doesn't like it because it might be a bit too young for her. Reminder: The only books that Ruby has actually read to completion over the past few year have been children's books with a max page count of 40 and a recommended reading age of 3.
"YASS, after that, I will just turn off the light."
Ruby’s room with the light off apparently, which is somehow still brighter than the sun itself.
Last edited:
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Must try harder, Ruby.
Satisfying Click
VIP Member
When Ruby said she voted left, I assumed she meant she went to the booth on the left-hand side of the room to cast her Tory vote
This is all really dull but essentially someone has used Erimentha's email account and sent inappropriate stuff in her name. She doesn't tell her parents what has happened and goes to school to speak to Mr Aldridge, who is wearing a cream suit like Jay Gatsby. The man is having a breakdown.
She tells him about the emails and that her tennis lesson is her alibi, thank goodness for middle-class extra-curricular activities! Mrs Stafford joins them and even though this is something her parents should be involved in, Erimentha manipulates her teachers into keeping quiet.
With two pins down, she goes to harass Miss Soloman who is 'absent-mindedly' eating a tuna sandwich - she assumes it's tuna due to the salty smell hanging in the air - ouch! Someone is salty!
"Just give me a second, Erimentha." She wants to be left alone - Erimentha doesn't take the hint. Erimentha denies knowing who the culprit is.
She tells him about the emails and that her tennis lesson is her alibi, thank goodness for middle-class extra-curricular activities! Mrs Stafford joins them and even though this is something her parents should be involved in, Erimentha manipulates her teachers into keeping quiet.
With two pins down, she goes to harass Miss Soloman who is 'absent-mindedly' eating a tuna sandwich - she assumes it's tuna due to the salty smell hanging in the air - ouch! Someone is salty!
"Just give me a second, Erimentha." She wants to be left alone - Erimentha doesn't take the hint. Erimentha denies knowing who the culprit is.
Mr.Mistoffelees
Chatty Member
"I remember just like I love just I love winter. Last January when I was just going on these walks every morning I got into the habit of going on these walks every morning, I'm just reminded of like all of those walks in January which I love. Winter is wonderful."
Is she okay?
Is she okay?
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Well, that murial's not gonna make itself.