joanne larby : Most liked Posts

This comes from a very interesting article, coincidentally written by the brand manager of Dr. Oetker.

“An Instagram Pod is a direct message between a group of about 15-30 people from a similar industry. Though guidelines may vary from Pod to Pod, the general rule is that when one member posts new content on Instagram they notify the Pod via direct message. Everyone within that group is then required to immediately engage with the post by liking and commenting, thereby placing the post higher in users’ newsfeeds and boosting the visibility of that influencer.”


TO THE PODMOBILE, PIZZAMAN!

Silent night, holy night,
JoJo is preg, to her delight,
Round yon virgin's hospital list is compiled,
She tried to label Adam, her little man child,
She asked him to shave her muff,
Is that what she meant by 'bum stuff'??

Silent night, holy night,
She claims to have friends, she's full of shite,
Gift for Sarah Heff and Laura Napes,
Red Dutchess erm, cute corners and tablescapes,
Loves a gift tag, does our Larby,
Written with a labelled sharpie.

Silent night, holy night,
So photoshopped, you'd get a fright,
Nipped and tucked and filtered to fuck,
How doesn't she see that the walls don't line up,
Her phone can't have facial recognition,
Or else she could never log in.

Silent night, holy night,
Our favourite catfish is very bright,
Teacher and author, interiors, creator,
Podcasts and makeup, turkey burger maker,
Did you know she invented pregnancy?
She has a tattoo near her gee.

Silent night, holy night,
Ahmed in Egypt, gave her a like,
Freck and Pep wait for the stork,
In the 40 roomed rental in lovely West Cork,
Lord help us when the baby is born,
I bet that she'll call him Paul.

This is the press pic of the same event versus her edited insta pic just to show the level of editing she was doing at that time.

Ah now if you're going to pretend to be a solicitor, don't have your email ending in something like "1989" Apart from the fact I'm sure any official correspondence would be posted and on headed paper, wouldn't law firm emails be more official than Gmail too?? Just short of sending it from [email protected]

usefullyuseless said:

Great post summarising everything but you can't leave us hanging like this

Also fairy flutters sounds too much like fanny flutters How that was touted as the name, I'll never know

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alright I’ll do as the people wish! These are all my opinions of course. I feel so strongly as I was a young college student into fitness and followed her back in the day. I lost of my confidence and compared myself to what I saw online and I developed an eating disorder and lost 30 lbs in a year. There’s much more awareness now, but what she did affected me. Her lying about her size and her photoshop use affected me. Of course, my eating disorder wasnt larbys “fault” but she sold a lifestyle and body that were not attainable or real.

she photoshops herself beyond recognition. she lies about her size.
she does this while claiming to be body positive. I’m beating a dead horse here perhaps but she’s an insult to the body positivity movement.

she entered a bikini fitness comp and shared her incredibly restrictive diet and gym regime, she didn’t end up doing it in the end.

she denied using tan, then was found to be using tanning beds while claiming to be naturally sallow. she then signed on to advertise for BPerfect and some other tans and quickly changed her tune. she alluded to her father (who was not part of her life) being dark skinned. this was cleared up as being false by her own brother, who said their father is a white Irish dude.

she used the African skin tone emoji with her photos. This is unacceptable and NOT politically correct. She also figuratively darkens her skin with filters to be darker than Beyoncé (see my previous post of these side by side pics). This is unacceptable

she also used to deny lip fillers which we all know to be a lie.

this is sticky- but instead of filing against her ex for claimed abuse, she took to social media,. If the abuse is real, plastering it on social media belittles the abuse and makes it seem gossip-y. If the abuse was not real that is a whole other issue. I lean towards always believing claims of abuse, but her buckets of lies make me question anything she says.

I consider this a blunder - see my previous post about how she has spent over 100k euro in the last 8 years on designer handbags and shoes, that is, assuming they are all real (as she claims, or at least gives the impression they are).

she recently claimed she would wean off using filters on Instagram. That clearly hasn’t happened.

she claims To empower other women. Where was she when any other blogger came out with a new product? She has never applauded or promoted anyone other than herself.

besides no visible community around her, she seems to have blundered every relationship. James Patrice, Caroline, other bloggers... and now seemingly her own family. It’s quite sad.

she has a pattern of creating giveaways and never choosing a winner. We all know this.

It’s also a blunder to put a gloss over everything. Calling herself a teacher - yes she taught at a preschool but that’s not the same as going to college for an educational degree. I’m sure she’ll be calling herself an interior designer after this certificate from Groupon too.

Someone else mentioned it so I’ll say it again - she has a thesaurus use of colours and other vocabulary. Yesterday she said she was “besotted with botanical tablescape”. Could she BE more pretentious?

and the biggest blunder of all - the big fat lies. never acknowledging what she’s done wrong. we see you Jo, and your little dog too. (Who is from a breeder might I add)

Anyone else think they’re his legs?

I was blocked as I voted no in a "does River look like Brooklyn Beckham" poll.

Just let that level of pettiness sink in

After watching her stories the only word I can think of to describe them is 'weird.' The story about Adam putting baby grows on his shoulder and patting them - weird. The comment from Adam about her in the egg chair - weird, and also a bit presumptious/arrogant? As if him simply passing that remark will make it happen. If my partner said something like that to me I'd find it patronising. Claiming sea swimming is a pregnancy craving - weird. All in all I find her page very toxic. She's making out that she manifested this pregnancy which is such an insensitive and damaging message to be conveying. Saying she's been growing the baby in privacy? That might be true if she had actually had the baby and then announced it. Based on her announcement reel and content over the last few days it seems she is keeping abosolutely nothing about this pregnancy private. As if I needed the mental picture of her standing in front of Adam every morning in the nip with veiny boobs asking about what looks different?? They seem like the type of couple who call eachother into the loo to look at eachothers bowel movements.

New thread suggestion:

Joanne Larby #5 Liar, cheater and serial comment deleter

Her 20 essential baby items comes in at roughly €4,682!

I would have had to remortgage the gaff if I were to buy everything off it!
What kind of maternity pay does she think mums are on?!

I’d a baby 5 months ago & got the pram/cot/matress/next to me/ car seat for £499 off Hot UK Deals & all clothes were off friends & families babies that they’d outgrown. And now anything I get is off Vinted.

It’s blatant that she’s upselling EVERYTHING to her own gain as I assume she gets a cut off anything that’s sold via clicking those links?
Upsell one big thing to make your coin then to TRY be relatable to mums who are trying to save money stick in a few Amazon links, because any attempt at earth mum credibility was gone the minute she posted about H&M etc.

I follow mummy accounts that share tips on how to SAVE money!!
Who is her target audience??
Is it trust fund generational wealth type mums?
Because as a fellow FTM she’s not in ANYWAY relatable to me, I appreciate she’s a business & has to make money but to recommend 4 sleep suits for €112!
When, when they’re newborns between explosions, reflux & factoring in drying time let’s say at an absolute bare minimum & to keep the math easy we need 12.
That’s €336 on 12 sleepsuits !!!
Never mind the vests for underneath which if from the same shop & for giggles let’s say cost the same!! So €672 for 12 vests & sleepsuits!
I live in the UK & that would cover a months mortgage & about 6 weeks heating!!

Her sling must have. Sure it was €372!! I can’t write this with a straight face I bought the Infantino harness for £30 off Argos & it’s fantastic!

The 3 drawered changing table? €629!!!!!!
My changing table is her Next To Me or my bed with a pack of 100 puppy pads in the corner for £12 that are kept for the blow outs!

The changing bag? €342.56!!!!!

The play rug, another absolute bargain at €174.99!!!

The breast feeding pillow? €78!!!
My breast feeding pillow, is my pillow! Shocker!

Her baby rocker chair thing .. €224.77!

The only affordable thing on her list is the Aveeno!!!

She kind of reminds me of those XFactor contestants that can’t sing where no friends or family intervene & let them go on national telly. I wonder if anyone close to her has told her how polarising her mum stuff is coming across as!
Inflation/ cost of living is at its highest in 40 years!! Theres a very real threat of WW3 with 10million people having fled their homes. Her posts are a bit tone deaf!

I also think that was blatantly Adams noggin too, I might be wrong so apologies if I am, but did she not say she got bonds done recently? they would have been visible in that scalp picture if it was her hair surely? I thought the hair in that picture looked far darker/ much thicker to be hers.

In any case whoever’s head it was, I don’t for a second believe that shampoo can offset thinning hair. Selling snake oil to prey on peoples insecurities. Zero craic

Thread suggestion

Joanne Larby #11 #gifted a baby from Adam's spunk, now on the beg for free baby junk!

Here's my take on Jojo....I have a lot to say about her so bare with me while I go on this mini rant

I started following her when she first started blogging.She was working in a creche and was a part time mua. I quite liked her fashion and make up looks at the time.....think a lot of French Connection bodycon dresses and burgundy lips . They were fashionable at the time, I promise

Fast forward a couple of years to when she was with Paul and was a complete gym bunny. It was around this time I started to find her content quite triggering . I had just being diagnosed with an auto immune disease and was on steroid medication, think inflated chipmunk and you can get the lewk I was rocking. I gained a bit of weight quite quickly and was struggling with it. I should also mention I had an eating disorder in my 20s and found her restricted eating and constant work out were not good for me or my mental health so I started watching her less and less .

I also found her flippant comments about Paul being abusive incredibly triggering. I was in a relationship that was incredibly emotional abusive part of the reason for afore mentioned ED and to have people like Joanne use it to gain sympathy was galling. Its hard enough to get people to believe the long term ramifications of such abuse without Muffy using it as a stick to beat Paul because she was bitter he dumped her

As for West Cork Jojo, I couldn't give a shite about her weight gain. I actually think she has a great figure when she embraces her natural shape as she is quite well proportioned. I think her downfall is her dire fashion sense and the fact she cannot dress her shape. She inadvertently makes herself look bigger than what she is by wearing these outfits.

The other things that annoy me is the choice of adjectives she uses to describe things ...from the oxblood jumper to the caramel coloured trousers, you are an instahun not a Dulux colour chart. The dull monotonous voice overs trying to make herself sound well educated and more intelligent than she is. People who use rich language and are intelligent, just are, and it is natural, but like everything else with her , its fake and forced.

Don't get me started on the flashing of designer gear. No one gives a shite. You can tell the difference between old money and noveau riche. People who have money don't need to show it off , just like people who are kind or content in their own lives don't need to constantly reassure others that they are these things.

That concludes my TED talk on Le Larbs thanks for listening

Birth plan went out the window.

Well knock me down with a feather.

Anyone else think Larby O Flynn sounds like Darby O Gill? I don't think it's been mentioned on here yet!

Can we keep the personal pregnancy stuff off this thread please. It’s annoying wading through 50 posts on who is pregnant at what age.

The absolute fucking gall of Larby to send this.
“As a practising therapist....”
The only thing you practice is being an immoral thundercunt.
“Seems a bit of a cowboy operation”
Larby, your whole life is a cowboy operation. Fake boots and all.

Thread #14 recap:

Joanne had her baby and has amazed us all at how humbly and sensitively she has approached this new chapter of her life

Just kidding, she's even more insufferable than any of us predicted

cafwin53 said:

Recap of thread #15 - Joanne is breastfeeding

That's it, that's the recap

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If anyone is wondering about a day in the life of Joanna Super Mumma Larby (routine recap)

- Wakes at 8am, to BF baby
- Gets fed by Adam around 9am
- Puts up a questions box on "How To" relating to parenting then ignores all advice and just suggests BF as the only solution to calm any child no matter the cause of their distress
- 10am: shares some posts from other BF sources to make sure we all haven't forgotten how beneficial BF is, and that Joanne is EBF her son
- Posts some pics of her cute baby giggling and advancing in milestones or in a little outfit with no socks on
- More posts about BF and usually by 1pm there's a pic of Adam's greasy man bun
- Shares a picture of a present her brother / brothers GF got the baby, to remind us all she does in fact have a family outside of baba and partner
- Lunch time (probably fed by Adam)
- Posts pictures of baby latched on just incase we forgot she is BF in the few hours since she last reminded us
- 2pm: time for daily drive to Beara Pennsuila so Adam can swim and Joanne stays on land to BF baby and to post some candid pictures of her in a cute village pushing their "spon" buggy and car seat system while wearing a slick back bun and bin bag leggings and moon boots (don't worry she will post an AF link too)
- More slow still shots of a beach and a cliff in West Cork (that's where she lives in case you forgot) in the hope the Irish Tourism Board may notice for a collab
- how could I forgot the daily posts about her first born Storm the doggo and Mom guilt for tending to her baby and not dog (thanks Lalakala!)
- 5pm now : posts about having cried a few times because baby is cluster feeding all day and Adam will be due to feed her dinner around now (she might post a picture of her BF and gorging on some microwave meal she got sent for free)
- Evening bath time for baba, with a towel on to keep him warm in the bath
- Pic of a cute Boho corner with biege furnishings and her favourite lamp for baby's night routine
- Time to study house content and post some SCANdi pictures and interior design
- Talk some more on Instagram about how baba has magically gotten himself into a fabulous routine even though he's EFB but she has to wake him once at 4am to feed so she doesn't wake up with engorged boobs next day, but Joanne has an amazing milk supply just incase you didn't know
- another question box asking how to balance being so tired and how women manage to keep it all together from her position of privilege with a partner at home full time to help around the clock
- Final post about being baby led regarding routine and a not so cryptic post about how amazing Joanne is and far superior than us mere peasants


The daily grind for a "lifestyle" influencer.

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* not intended to sound bitter about BF this is just the vibes Joanne emanates

“Hi you lot. Some of you have been asking how far along I was in this picture I posted all the way back in July…….well, I can exclusively reveal, I was in my penultimate birth year”

I’m still perplexed at how she thinks letting him spunk in her is a gift