joanne larby : Most liked Posts

Larby’s Glossary (otherwise known as a Tosser’s Thesaurus)

Shooting a campaign = Fucking some items on a table and taking a pic from above. Then claim you’ve done a hard day’s work

Commissioned = Bought something local

Skin-drobe = Skin-dgarment

Impromptu break = Electricity got turned off/Contracted Covid/Lay low for a bit after another controversy

Gallery wall = Pictures

I eat lots of fruit and veg = Tomato off a cardboard pizza

Solo size pizzas = Wee pizza

Water rich foods = cucumber

Vegan lifestyle = Eating cheese, buying leather boots and harassing cattle

Time-teller = clock

Emshelx, Shaunalindsay, Bonnierakhit, Sineadcrowe, Rosalindlipsett, Sarah_Godfrey_ = Engagement Pod of Boredom. Like Hotel California; You can check-out any time you like, But you can never leave. As part of pod you must very reluctantly comment on inane posts day after day like living in purgatory. Everyone secretly hates each other.

Photo dump = pictures face-tuned, photoshopped and filtered to fuck

Staple = definitely not a regular occurrence and only used once or twice

Swipe up to see product = Russian roulette if you actually see the correct product. Out of stock, wrong product, wrong size

Eco-aware = I break down all the boxes from fast fashion companies before putting them in the bin

Manifest = Be too lazy to actually make things happen

Popped = Posted

Transitional war-drobe = Fast fashion that hasn’t been worn yet

Laura Napes = Larby

Sarah Hef = Larby

LarbyFit = Larby (Failed venture)

HighRiseToHouse = Larby

Stormthehuskypom = Larby

Glamfamcosmetics = Larby (Failed venture)

Enchantbyjl = Larby (Failed venture)

lalakala said:

1. not even 2 months ago she was claiming an entirely different set of holy grail skin products, so which is it you’re peddling Joey?
2. What’s this bump on her face lads?
3. This is not makeup free, you can see the mascara and lip gloss, and I’m sure there’s more yet she’s advertising skincare products touting their benefit to her skin.
4. The poor farmer who has to deal with her egg chair because she’s a twat and didn’t bring in her garden furniture... or did the chair finally break under the weight of her ego?!

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This is the way with Larby. Will blow with the wind depending on which product is being given to her. She’ll be back promoting CBD again after not mentioning it for weeks. The cycle continues.

Also I will be honest I am sick of this-women are amazing because we give birth shit. Some of us-for whatever reason have and will never give birth. Does that make me less of a woman, am I not fearless and a warrior and amazing still? It's 2022 and there are a plethora of reasons why some of us have not had children and yet still see our lives as meaningfull and fulfilled...cop on joanne. Im so sick of the narrative that a woman is only here to bear children. I'm constantly being asked because I was married 6 years ago and will be 43 this year. We tried just after wedding-didnt happen. We're told it would need extra help..IVF etc. Decided we love our life together with our fur baby and didn't want to spend that kind of money knowing the risks of failure, older mum issues and possible multiple babies-twins etc. So we are happy with our lot and have a wonderful fulfilled life.but because I haven't given birth, breastfed, etc I'm less of a woman.....please

Comedy gold!!! Who copied Laura Napes account!

My weirdest craving is pretending I’m a solicitor to harass people on Instagram.

Lads can we really not go down the breast fed vs formula argument. It’s soo overdone and so boring. Let’s all just agree that it’s a personal decision whatever you do and leave it at that

I work in a NICU and her post is incredibly disrespectful and misleading, especially to anyone who has had a premie or a miscarriage. her are the facts about due dates
- term is 37 weeks or more (not 40)
- being overdue occurs in most first pregnancies
- being overdue especially >41 weeks is associated with increased risk of meconium aspiration, cephalopelvic disproportion, shoulder dystopia, need for C-section, etc… (ie not without risk)
-prematurity occurs 1/10 pregnancies. And no Joanne, those babies didn’t “decide” they wanted to be sick or even die sometimes.
- hypnobirthing will not prevent prematurity nor will it promote labour
- induction of labour is cited as something “bad” in many comments on her post. If the baby needs to be born, that is what induction is for. To avoid further risks. We’ve seen mothers refuse induction, c section, and have babies who are born asphyxiated

sending love to all the NICU parents and those who have suffered pregnancy loss

Larby O'Flynn reminds me of Darby O'Gill and the Little People!

Well lads......  she is unbelievable!!

Thread title: When baby River finally did appear, a bucket of placenta gave us all the fear.

Dairymassey said:

If she doesn't deliver that baby in December ... she is clearly not playing with the full deck, esp with all this ridiculous talk and prepping

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She's actually probably lala enough to think that she's doing something Kylie Jenner-ish and she'll have a Christmas day/eve baby called Myrrh or Frankincense and it'll all have been a big "secret", trying to throw people off the scent in thinking she was due in Jan/Feb.

I can see it now....



"You lot, while I wanted to share my life creation journey with you all, it was so important for us as a collective unit that engages in intercourse that we have some time to process the fertilisation of an egg in my wondrous fruitful womb, so we announced our news to the world after we had plenty of time to process it ourselves, and to prepare Storm to be the best little wuffling the precise due date was 24 December, however with a little Jesus juju we received the best gift at 11.11 on December 25. We wanted the baby's arrival to surprise and provide joy to you lot. Tku"


^ I forgot to add that the above statement on Instagram would be accompanied by an artsy fartsy black and white shot of mum and dad's hands, dogs paw, and baby's hand layered up on top of each other like a motivational "go team" group rile up.

Suzeywoozey said:

I’ll be blocked within about 5mins for this but Jesus Christ permanently tracking child’s oxygen levels pulse and sleep pattern? She’s in for some shock when they’re on the boob or up all night. I appreciate the reassurance it would give (my son was premature and monitored) but it’s hardly thr run of the mill purchase for a first timer?

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i have to say something about this. She has no authority to be selling this product. This is a consumer friendly non-medical device.
I work in a NICU. The advice we give parents who ask about the Owlet (or other home monitors):
1. If your baby needs oxygen saturation monitoring, we will send you home with a monitor. And also with oxygen because you only need to monitor if there is a risk of oxygen levels being low (therefore needing treatment)
2. These ARE NOT medical grade devices. They are not as sensitive as monitors in the hospital. The hospital grade saturation probes have up to a 20 second lag in showing low levels of oxygen. These have an even longer lag if something is wrong, so likely would not alarm until it’s too late.
3. Studies have shown that these monitors do NOT reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (the scariest thing for any parent to consider in a newborn).
4. Studies have shown that these monitors cause alarm fatigue. If you’ve ever seen a nurse or doc in a hospital not react strongly to a monitor alarming - that’s alarm fatigue essentially. The monitors alarm a lot of most of the time it’s not an emergency. Of course, sometimes it is. Because the Owlet is not as good as hospital grade devices, it alarms ALOT and these alarms wake parents up frequently or cause them to rush into the babies room - and the sock is off. Or the leg is moving. Etc… after a while, you don’t react as strongly because you’re used to it being nothing.
5. Please talk to your own doctor/midwife/public nurse and don’t listen to Larby. Yes, all situations are unique but any baby who needs oxygen monitoring will get one. These are usually babies who need oxygen support at home.

deewallace said:

How would they know to even find a Larby comment on another random persons page?? UNLESS *dun dun dun* (uncovers villain mask a la Scooby Doo) it was Larby all along!!

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Seems like both insta accounts Sarah.hefxx and napeslaura91 are registered to the same email address miraculously they are the same length starting with l and ending in a 9. Not only that in common but both happen to be joannes no 1 fan and comment on her post within minutes at pretty much the same time as each other! The also seen the post on the ex xposes presenters rant! It really is a small world

Blue1989 said:

I think Jelly BB must finally have had her Baba no replies in a while. I wonder if she got in a game of Scrabble?

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I tell ya one thing for free… jojo can fuck off with her game of scrabble. I had hypersensitive contractions and they were no joke and I’m stitched from arse to fanny and shat myself on the delivery bed! So her “hospital bag” aesthetic didn’t suit me baby was born and she’s healthy and beautiful

I got up at 5am said:

We might get a Netflix doc on it #escapefromwestcork

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I have too much time on my hands at the moment

All I can think of when I see this photo and colour scheme.

I love the breast versus bottle debate said NO ONE EVER!

I have 5 children, done both, don’t give a fuck how anyone else feeds their babies once they’re fed.

Let it fucking go. Please.

Silent night, holy night,
JoJo is preg, to her delight,
Round yon virgin's hospital list is compiled,
She tried to label Adam, her little man child,
She asked him to shave her muff,
Is that what she meant by 'bum stuff'??

Silent night, holy night,
She claims to have friends, she's full of shite,
Gift for Sarah Heff and Laura Napes,
Red Dutchess erm, cute corners and tablescapes,
Loves a gift tag, does our Larby,
Written with a labelled sharpie.

Silent night, holy night,
So photoshopped, you'd get a fright,
Nipped and tucked and filtered to fuck,
How doesn't she see that the walls don't line up,
Her phone can't have facial recognition,
Or else she could never log in.

Silent night, holy night,
Our favourite catfish is very bright,
Teacher and author, interiors, creator,
Podcasts and makeup, turkey burger maker,
Did you know she invented pregnancy?
She has a tattoo near her gee.

Silent night, holy night,
Ahmed in Egypt, gave her a like,
Freck and Pep wait for the stork,
In the 40 roomed rental in lovely West Cork,
Lord help us when the baby is born,
I bet that she'll call him Paul.

Clau said:

Like they do EVERYTHING together, or is indoor cycling her limit? Also it’s usually her recording him working in the garden, something amiss alright...

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Yeah I thought there was something odd about today’s vids. There would usually be some “candid” shot of him sucking nectar from a bees arse or something but no sign.