bowelbabe : Most liked Posts

Just catching up on this thread, I hate cancer being called a battle or stopping treatment as being regarded as weak. My nan had stage 4 bowel cancer she refused all treatment apart from palliative care, she wanted to go home to die that was her wish. 8 weeks later she died warm in her bed at home surrounded by family the last thing she said was "What time is EastEnders on? She loved her soaps she did ! .

She had a good death and I'm glad she didn't put herself through endless treatment for a hopeless prognosis it had spread to her liver she was jaundiced and had cachexia my previous size 26 nan became skin and bones . She said she'd had a good life and she felt it was time. I think it's brave to also face death and accept it.

Monica and BB I feel are younger so I get why they are having all the treatments. I don't think there's right or wrong it's brave to keep having treatment it's also brave to stop. Cancer isn't a battle it's a horrible disease nothing to do with fighting , you can't control it or will it to go away.

Fuck me, no. So Ill, drains literally hanging out of her and flogging stuff. Deny everything, throw everything at your illness, but please, step away from selling. It’s so grotesque. There is something that makes my heart hurt, a woman in her early forties with a terminal illness, selling anti ageing products! There surely comes a time when you need to just rest and step away for a while. This is not about ‘ploughing’ on for her mental health, this is about money.

The personality of Monique shines through. What a wonderful human being she is. I hope that she gets some comfort being home with her loved ones and finds some peace and joy in the time she has left.

I have no idea how she is so grateful and hope I am able to be so when my time comes. Truely upsetting that such a young woman has been through so much. Power to you Monique!

corobamoner said:

But she does post information about signs of bowel cancer etc. and has raised a lot of awareness.

It seems people are holding her to an unfair standard? Because she built her platform around having cancer and spreading awareness of it, she’s scrutinised more heavily than other influencers when she uses that platform to promote products.
I don’t like ‘influencers’ pushing products, especially those that have a young audience. I also don’t like BB selling products, but not because she has cancer, because I don’t like influencers doing that.

Click to expand...

This is just going round in circles. If you don't think it's weird as f to be doing adverts from your hospital bed while terminally ill - good for you. Personally I think that's odd, but I am not here to police people's thoughts.

The people who do think it's strange are trying to have a, non offensive, discussion about it. If you're finding this uncomfortable why not move to another thread or comment on something else instead of constantly trying to derail our conversation. What are you hoping to achieve? We aren't going to change our minds or stop talking about something because a couple of people don't agree. Isn't this ability to all share our opinions fairly and truly literally the point of this site?

I'd absolutely understand if this thread was spitting venom about Bowel Babe, but it isn't, and I haven't really been (did call her a dick once, which wasn't my finest hour tbf, I am a grumpy dying cancer patient, but I have tried to avoid getting personal since) we are just questioning a grown woman's decisions (fairly innocuous decisions in the grand scheme of things too).

We're allowed to question people, cancer or not.

jackolantern said:

Again, on a personal level I resent Deborah nothing. I resent what the image of Deborah stands for, which is that money talks and your life is only worth something if you have it. So when Deborah is dancing around, it's people like my Dad and Grandma who are sat watching her wondering why they aren't so important.

Click to expand...

This is what anyone who defends Deborah’s behaviour needs to read, and read again.

The fact that she isn’t using her high profile to call out and condemn the disparity in her treatment compared to most is to her shame. A beautiful young mum called Kelly (kickasskell) died prematurely when her treatment was halted by Covid. Her family are working hard to raise the issues surrounding cancer treatment. Deborah briefly touched on it, but it was a long time ago and before she forgot why she started her account.

And in anticipation of responses that Deborah isn’t obliged to do good, it is my firm belief that people in positions of power and privilege (not just monetary) have a responsibility to help those more vulnerable. Deborah doesn’t give a flying fuck about anybody else. I think she’s horrible.

Ivegotatheory said:

£500 Birkenstocks

Click to expand...

I'm a lesbian, so Birkenstocks are The Shoe Of My People and even I'm like HELL NO.

It is just not the same on the NHS and it’s making me fume!! Deborah is no more important than anyone else, it’s just she is rich and Rachel Bland put her in her podcast!! It’s an insult to hear her Consultant say she pushes for more, says ‘what about this?’, can you imagine saying that to an NHS doctor? Her reality is that, but for most it isn’t, she is the ambassador for Bowel cancer but it is not showing an accurate account that most people will experience. There also comes a point when death does need to be discussed, sorry but it does, very few people walk away from stage four cancer. The endless options, the ‘ I will get through this’ isnt showing all sides of cancer. If you put yourself out there to be the face of BCancer then surely that needs talking about too. Totally understandable if you can’t, but the constant promises of options is bizarre.

candyland_ said:

Just because her husband has money doesn’t mean she doesn’t want that little bit of financial independence.

Click to expand...

What’s the point in financial independence when she’s likely to be dead within weeks?

That’s the harsh truth. At this stage the adverts feel almost abusive. The companies are disgusting and I think her mother must not be thinking straight for encouraging it.

How long will the ads go on for? Will Emma mattresses be tagged in her last post? Will she be buried in Sweaty Betty? This is the worst consequence of social media and everyone involved are hyenas.

I'm heartbroken for Monique, life is so fucking unfair. I know it isn't Deborah's fault and ultimately the end result will be the same for them both, but to see how Monique is being treated and denied basic levels of human decency and comfort, while princess pea is swanning around in her private suite with £500 shoes does my fucking nut in. She's just a tone deaf twat, can't escape it, however sad her situation may be.

ginnyw said:

To compare BB and Monique and to say that one had a tougher journey than the other is unfair, as we truly don't know what's going on behind closed doors or in either of their thoughts. I would hazard a guess at BB being the more scared.

Click to expand...

I feel a 21 year old being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, hysterectomy, radical surgery, all on the failing NHS is a tougher journey in life. I absolutely stand by that

jackolantern said:

The reality is most NHS patients in Deborah’s position would have died years ago. And some of them likely had a better chance of survival than she. However, she won’t ever understand this because of her privilege. For that very reason she isn’t a relatable ambassador at all.

Click to expand...

I couldn’t agree with this post more. Hats off to BB for reiterating the importance of early diagnosis and get to your GP if you think something is not right. However, I am not impressed with her oncologist. He makes out she pushes to carry on and she’s bloody amazing etc etc! Well this is because she is private and paying for it (or the insurance company are). This would never happen in the NHS I know because I work in it and I’d love someone in cancer care to tell me I’m wrong- because I want to be wrong in this. In the NHS it’s not about how determined to stay alive you are or about suggesting this that and the other to the Drs, it is about NICE guidelines/hosp protocols/proactivness of the Drs (in terms of clinical trials) etc. The NHS is restricted by a very tight budget and tend to only treat if it is going to have a favourable outcome. The NHS Drs would love to give all their patients endless options that BB has been given but it is beyond their power to do so. They are simply not allowed and have to stick to protocols and NICE. No one in that video said BB is private and she has received private care it’s as if it is the forbidden word. YRS THE Marsden is a centre of excellence and even the NHS patients most likely get to undergo all the latest treatments but for the majority of cancer patients in this country those treatments just are not available. Get an NHS patient in a normal hospital to be an ambassador for bowel cancer (esp stage 4) and things would be so different in terms of treatment options.

Mitzybonmootzy said:

Just a thought but I remember jade goody on an interview before she passed away saying she was going to sell everything, do anything and make her tv show to make as much money as possible to give to her boys after she'd gone! Could this be what she is doing? If it is then I think I'd do the same!

Click to expand...

Jade Goody grew up in abject poverty and wanted her kids to have money after her death so avoid them ever having to live the childhood she had. Deborah is already extremely well off, he husband is minted and they already have a wealthy lifestyle. She has no need to be doing what she’s doing now. She does it because she loves the attention.

Imagine being proud of having your arse in the newspaper that hacked a dead schoolgirl’s phone.

This is a dying woman advertising for massive super rich companies for them to make more money. I feel like writing to the chief execs and saying why are you allowing a dying woman to sell your products for a fraction of the cost that you would have to pay for TV or magazine advertising. I know that it is Debs choice but this is unethical of the companies. I am convinced she is addicted to getting the freebies and money in exchange for advertising the products. This is instagram gone mad! She even said this is a lower price point that she would usually go for a lipstick - again bragging that she would normally pay £25/30 for a lipstick. What on earth must her husband think of all this. She must spend ages unwrapping all the freebie parcels and making the videos when surely being with the family for every minute she can before they go back to work/school is more important? It just beggars belief …..

God bless Monique and her quiet strength. I am so glad she has that duck pond and can still enjoy moments there with the sun on her skin.

I am entirely baffled by bowelbabe and her situation. She looks so frail and sick underneath the make up. I am sure the adverts are her coping mechanism and she probably thinks as long as she can make those she is doing ok, and who are we to criticise her for that? But it is all a bit weird.
I have been in hospital since July -- 254 days -- and while I am not dying my life as I knew it is over and gone forever, mentally the days are tough and I'm not sure I have the strength to make an advert, but maybe the person in the bed next door has that strength. Just seems so off with bb. I hope she is 'better' than her recent photos suggest and she too is surrounded by those who love her and little bits of joy in her days.

Just messaged Look Fantastic, Scamp & Dude, and F&F Clothing on IG to ask why they are using a dying woman to build their brand. This is so completely and utterly wrong.

I know you won't understand it, because you are all not so keen od Deborah, but I will be devastated when she will die. I'm not a cancer sufferer myself, I was once scrolling on my instagram and Natalie Woodward (@iamnatwoodward) popped on my feed and I thought "oh who is she, she's so pretty". So I started following her and I found out about her bowel cancer and everything that happened to her, still can't comprehend the extensivity of the surgery that she has had. Later through Nat I found Monique and Deborah and that's when my love for BB started. She's just my type of person, I love her energy, I love every silly video that she has made. I was just in awe of her strenght and positivity, I loved that she's all glam on hospital corridors, that's she's dancing to Stayin Alive by Bee Gees in the middle of London streets. I just don't want her to be dead, I want her instagram to go on and be fun and positive for a years to come. I don't why I'm really typing this to you, but I made a promise to myself - I won't follow anymore women with stage IV cancer because you get attached somehow and those people even though they are strangers they will be missed once they're gone.

A friend of mine has recently trained as a death doula.....now while some may find this bizarre or macabre it is a recognised qualification.....just as we have midwife or doula to support us during birth you can also opt to have a death doula to help with the practicalities of caring for someone at the end of life...to take some of the pressure of everyday tasks such as shopping/ walking the dog so that the family can concentrate on spending valuable time with their loved ones , or they can help with more spiritual things
it's worth being aware that these people exist and are there to support the family at the worst time of their lives and that you don't need to be alone

Of course she loves and cares for her kids. She’s doing what she sees is right for them by keeping them away from the reality. Right or wrong she is doing her best for them-only she knows them and what they can cope with.
What I would like to add though is she’s at an all time low and my heart still goes out to her but she is saying “this is bowel cancer and it’s not fun.” I am sorry to have to point it out but no this is end stage PRIVATE bowel cancer where they are still doing all they can to give you more time. This is NOT end stage NHS bowel cancer where they tell you there is nothing more they can do and send you home to die. It wouldn’t annoy me so much if she was just honest and blog her PRIVATE cancer journey to highlight what’s on offer then there would probably be a national outcry of the injustice of if you have money it buys you life. I’m sure she could bring about change if she approached her journey with complete honesty. But no she chooses not to mention that she is private. She was told by the Chelsea and Westminster drs there was nothing more they could do for her which horrified her (understandable) then she went back to the Private sector and was given options but she never actually said that. I’ve only been following her since January and I can’t ever remember her saying she is a private patient so anyone new and seeking some moral support from her as a cancer sufferer would be very disillusioned with the difference in care and it would have the opposite affect of boosting their morale.

Can’t say I have particular strong feelings about BB either way, but I am absolutely incensed that she has managed to get a visit from her Mother.
My friend’s Mother has been an inpatient at the Royal Marsden since before Christmas. They struggle to even get through on the phone to get their allowed daily update on how she is. Her Mother is 87 and it is very likely that she won’t be coming out of that hospital alive. My friend has sobbed many, many times down the phone asking to be allowed to visit for even just 5 minutes. She hasn’t been allowed.
It’s utterly despicable that BB, who despite her diagnosis, I am assuming is not end of life currently, has been allowed a visit for vanity and social media purposes. I can ensure you that my friend will be raising it with the Board of the Royal Marsden as she is furious.

fusspot said:

I’m so sorry about your Dad.

I don’t really have anything to say about the rights and wrongs of BB’s behaviour but I’ve been following this thread with interest.
I’m still very broken mentally by the loss of my Dad and the, at times, dehumanising treatment of him by the NHS.
I’m not currently strong enough or energetic enough to do it, but I’d love to try and start a campaign for the NHS to focus as much on the patient (and their loved ones) as human beings and more than just the elements of the disease being treated. Particularly with terminal cancer.
Your post resonated with me because I felt that there was too much clinical detachment at times towards my Dad. A complete unwillingness to involve him or his family in any decisions made. Culminating in writing him off when the only treatment offered failed.
I’m still quite traumatised and guilt ridden by the fact that he was shut in a hospital room for weeks towards the end of his life, with no stimulation between visiting times. Just laying there staring at a wall until we fought to get him home.
I think this plunged him into depression and hastened his decline.
So I strongly feel that the picture painted of the care given in the NHS system is very inaccurate. Not just on BB’s insta posts but in lots of other areas of media too.
I’m glad for Deborah that seemingly all the stops are being pulled out to keep her alive. I hope it succeeds for as long as possible.
I just wish the very best of care was available for everyone.

Click to expand...

This be we is my heart, I am so sorry for what you had to go through.