bowelbabe : Most liked Posts

Unrelated to cancer but I find the comments she makes about her brother really weird I could maybe understand if he was an Anthony Joshua lookalike but in the nicest way, he looks an everyday bald bloke I’d see in my local Sainsbury’s lol

Monique has touched and united everybody on here. No mean feat. She's a lovely, warm and generous soul.

Lifeislemons said:

This thread should be shut. It’s crossing a line.

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Please could you clarify what line it is crossing? No one has said anything inappropriate just that they don’t agree with the fact that Deborah is avidly using her cancer to sell things and gain for herself monetarily and also that her insensitivity on occasion is inappropriate. She is perfectly entitled to do this but, we are also perfectly entitled (I’m also a current cancer sufferer) to say that we find it unsavoury.

Via very close friend connections I can say that it is not just us that feels like this about Deborah more and more lately (and another reason her husband stays out of it he is not fond of this limelight she seeks). There’s a lot of smoke and mirrors that goes on, just as mentioned above, one minute she is in hospital breaking her heart that no one can visit her telling us how close to the line she is (then suddenly her mother is allowed into the hospital room (I wonder how many other Marsden patients were allowed this?) and next minute she was up and dressed glammed to the nines and at an event… wow she really does enjoy a miraculous recovery often!
And this is what people find so inappropriate/insensitive. Not to mention when poor dear Hatti Gayner just suddenly passed away this weekend, someone who she often me talked about being a great friend etc, literally in the next clip she’s selling us face creams. Now that really was VERY inappropriate, thoughtless and insensitive. Particularly for Hatti’s family. Deborah is not everyone’s cup of tea and whilst she has raised an inordinate amount of money and awareness for the Marsden which is fantastic I know they too find her flying close to the wind on occasion. Awkward! It is is her journey and a remarkable journey if all she tells us is absolutely true and not embellished (she is a writer now, of course, so needs to fill a column). But as time goes on we find her more and more picking up free dresses, new boots, exercise clothes, pretty things, free tickets to A list events… all in the name of cancer. Unsavoury… insensitive… crass… perhaps she should be more transparent and separate the two personas one business and one genuinely helping cancer patients.

GossipBlue said:

Why has she never mentioned the private treatment? She was on stories to with limitlessEm. I wonder if she is a private patient too? Another one who had made a living from her disease. Stop with the bloody dancing! If I had done that at the Christie when I had chemo they would have sectioned me!!!

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To be fair she has mentioned the private insurance on occasion but you’re right she doesn’t make this clear so other people then don’t understand why they aren’t getting similar care.

Cariad said:

View attachment 755969 Dior tote bags cost £2400-£2600.....so relatable when so many cancer patients are just about keeping a roof over their heads and reliant on benefits

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Yes, oh thank goodness it wasn’t just me. I found this post so ridiculous. It makes me feel rather like she’s making hay whilst the sun shines… I have followers, companies will pay me money to plug their stuff and in return she is literally making her own little fun pocket money out of us and going and spending it on these frivolities that 99% of the population could not even dream of. Yes she is wealthy (fact) and no one can begrudge anyone that. Her husband has worked hard as obviously has she (admitting herself that it was to the detriment of her own children and marriage… another interesting point… her job was more important than her family!) but the crux of it is she has muddied the lines in this. To start off it was all about sharing the journey, helping awareness, raising money. Now it’s all about sharing HER look at me designer A list journey, awareness about HER and her own self promotion and raising money for HER to spend money on HERSELF!!! Sadly Deborah I fear you have offended many and we may have seen through your smoke and mirrors.
Can I also just say that when hooked up to a chemo machine and literally sitting there with my sick bowl looking and feeling like death, if she’d danced & twirled her chemo pump past me with her pants on show she’d have got shock! honestly there are people in that ward who have genuinely complained about her and her antics as they’re sitting there feeling so ill. She is oblivious. She has an insane appetite for fame and to be looked at. No thanks Debs, put your pants away. We are over it. And whilst you’re at it donate your freebies for all these poor other people that can’t get the drugs they need for a few more precious moments with their family!

Gingercream said:

Not all GPs. I’m a GP and have seen people f2f the entire time through the pandemic, done home visits and now pretty much back to pre-pandemic working. I’m working my arse off and fed up with people slagging us off constantly.

We have a shortage of about 6000 GPs across the country and attitudes like this just mean more are leaving to work privately or emigrate or leave medicine completely. I’m getting to the point now that I want to leave

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I’m afraid you have to understand the attitudes are due to lived experiences. I have been unable to see a GP In two years. I have a chronic illness that requires regular monitoring and sometimes I need my GP. Well done you for working hard, but like I said, lived experiences will leave patients frustrated.

It’s not your fault but if people cannot see their gp because there is a shortage, where do they go? Yep, you guessed it. I work in ED and we are on our knees. So it’s not just you that feels the pressure.

It’s so deeply, pathologically weird that they chose the top right photo to “model” a skirt. Deborah, attached to drains and tubes, distended belly, hoiks up her hospital gown to reveal a knitted mini and compression stockings. I mean… why?

I'm really concerned for Monique and her family. I hope she is comfortable and surrounded by love.

I think im going to do one last post and then respectfully stop commenting about BB, as the new members have obviously been sent here to defend her and any criticism is now classed as trolling.
SHE has put herself out so publicly, so sadly she does have to deal with the criticism that it brings with it. That's life, no matter what your morals are. Not everybody likes each other, we all have differing opinions to which we are entitled.
So try pushing this narrative that a dying woman should be off limits....for her to be off limits she would need to stop living in the public eye/social media. Until then, we all have the right to disagree with her behaviour.
She is no longer this massive advocate and educator for bowel cancer, sure a few half hearted posts the last few days about signs and symptoms. She sells herself as an influencer and that is what matters to her now. Also, her lying by omission re: private vs NHS care. Her reluctance to make it clear her treatment is private is doing a MASSIVE disservice to other bowel cancer sufferers and deliberately misleading her followers.
She clearly cares not for any Joe public, she is looking out for no.1 and no.1 only. Which is fine I'll hold my hand up and say I'm one of the most selfish people you could meet. But she pushes this 'I'm here to help you all' narrative when in fact, she doesnt give a fuck.
She's the most narcissistic privileged woman and its sickening really.
So do what you will with your final days Deborah, it's your kids I feel desperately sorry for. In all honesty, shes running out of 'options' very fast and I'd be shocked if she sees summer. To dupe her kids into believing doctors can keep pulling it out of the bag for her is just heartless in my opinion. She won't be here to pick up the pieces when she's gone, so presumably she just doesn't care. So that's my summary on the whole, fucked up weird situation. She isn't a nice woman, she doesnt care about the NHS minions and clearly has little affection for her poor kids. What a legacy (not) to leave

Nice to see that private care allows you not only family visitors but a whole film crew into your hospital room! Whereas my partner couldn’t even enter A&E with me & our poorly child 2 weeks ago due to covid restrictions & my father in law wasn’t allowed visitors after an operation related to his cancer last week! Lifestyles of the rich & famous eh

Ellyjelly said:

Reading her comments on mental health being as important as physical I have to agree with her, however, tagging the NHS constantly whilst sitting in her private room and outside the private Marsden wing seems a bit rich! and Certainly appears as though she’s receiving NHS care only. Im sure there are lots of people who assume its the basic Marsden care. Looking at Monique( and others) her current hospital stay they could not be further apart.

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100% this. Stop tagging the NHS. If anything tag Bupa or whatever it is.

Imagine what Debs’ mental health would be like if she was in a ward with other people, their noise, their visitors when you want to sleep. No access to the tv show you want to watch. imagine being as uncomfortable as Monique and being readmitted to a ward without privacy. Imagine just leaving your bed when the dr is coming and leaving a note for him/her to traipse around the hospital to find you. Do we think a NHS doctor would have the time to do that!. imagine when you are not there and miss the lunch service and therefore lunch. Imagine crying all day and everyone staring or worse wanting to cry but holding it in because of respect for other people or lying all day with your curtain pulled because you want to cry in peace. All of this whilst dealing with the knowledge that the NHS will doing nothing further to treat you.

Deborah has zero experience of any of this which is an everyday reality for others with stage 4 cancer. IMO it is Monique who shows real mental strength.

And now she’s flogging make up again. She wouldn’t be doing her make up if she had interested observers in the beds opposite…

Lollypop29 said:

I just can’t get my head around peoples negativity towards the money, the private care, whether or not the children are boarders. I really don’t see the need to be angry at those who are wealthy. Money doesn’t buy you happiness or health, look in Deborah’s case, she might have money and a rich husband but she still has stage 4 cancer.

I’ve always said I don’t agree with monetising cancer, I feel the same when people monetise their kids but with Deborah she’s taking the opportunity she has, well good for her whether I agree or not.

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I can completely see why anyone would be negative towards the money and private care. Because simply put, 9/10 people if not more, would be dead now (infact, long ago) if they were in Deborah's position, because the options she has had are not available to them. They are written off. It's a huge injustice and that doesn't mean anyone wants that for Deborah, but she is the 'face' of a very broken system and it's hugely upsetting for people who have had similar experiences either themselves, or have lost loved ones to this terrible disease. Is that Deborah's fault? Of course not, but I think she is hideously lacking in self awareness of how many opportunities she has had, just due to luck of the family she was born into, or where she lives etc. Not even just with treatment, with things like the Wimbledon topic discussed above. Sure she's made memories with her family, but she has the money to do that herself, so I find it telling that she had no desire to share with people less fortunate than her. Is it not just basic human decency?

Yes, at the end of the day she still has stage 4 cancer and none of us would deny what she has been through/is going through is utterly unimaginable, but she comes across as very tone deaf to how privileged she is in *other* aspects such as dancing all over the place or having private rooms, people stay with her because of mental health etc. Don't you think every single person with cancer has poor mental health and would benefit from those same chances? Or in regards to the dancing, negatively impacted by the insensitivity of it? Would you want someone flapping all over the place like a court Jester when you were at your most vulnerable?

I wish her all the love and luck in the world for the longest life possible and truly wish she wasn't going through any of this. But I can completely understand why her behaviour gets to people.

My Dad died of cancer when he was 51, after the most horrendous 2 years. He was treated as disposable from day one, left to suffer and offered none of the chances Deborah has had. No, that has nothing to do with Deborah personally and of course I don't want that for her. But I hugely resent this picture that is being painted that the NHS are providing this level of care, when for most people, it's not even 1% of the truth. Transparency is key.

I definitely believe dying people have that last willpower to choose when to go. We'd spent a whole week day and night sat by mums bed. I told her I was popping home yo bath the kids and put them to bed, I'd come back if the nurses thought I needed to. She deteriorated rapidly over those few hours. When I arrived she was in her final moment, I asked her tonhang on until my brother was there. When he arrived he had a few moments and then I said 'go on then, it's OK now, we are all here'. And with that she stopped breathing. I'm a nurse of 13 years, I always believed this was a lie we told family members to comfort them, but seeing it first hand was undeniable

I think im actually going to have to unfollow her now. It doesn't feel right to watch someone die on social media. Because sorry to be blunt, that's what we are doing now. The fact that she still has an external ascites drain in situ speaks volumes, she isnt getting 'better' in any sense of the word. She isn't bouncing back. This, sadly, is a lady slowly dying in complete denial. She may irritate the life out of me, but now it's become tragic.

Monique's update is promising. Her procedure has been successful - though very painful - and she's on track for the next stage in a week's time.

She's full of praise for the staff and their care. One of them even gave her a bandana she admired.

No anger for the previous overlooking of the tumour or lack of information given, just grateful for the care given. She really is an inspiration.

I think the companies that are still using Deborah are abhorrent. The woman is literally dying, and they are using her fragile condition to boost sales. Fetishisation of her illness used as a USP, it’s disgusting

LyraBalaqua said:

I know what you mean, Monique’s messages are raw and straight from the heart , no one can not feel for her , I just want to hug and comfort her.

BB’s plight is tragic but it feels ( to me) that she’s monetised and glamourised her illness and as a result I’m cold towards her.

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Today is a classic example. Deborah dressed up like mutton dressed as lamb talking about wearing her mini skirt…and then Monique being a real, normal human being talking about the fragility of life and how scared she is to die. Monique is being completely genuine, there’s no charade, no media training, no PR manager steering her, no upcoming advert to try to sell something…. She’s real & honest and doesn’t have an alternative agenda….
Deborah on the other hand……. Is completely disingenuous. She comes across as being fake, it’s all a bit of an act with her now - not her illlness but in her performative behaviour on social media.

Totally agree with all comments so far and am glad others feel as I do about her. I too have cancer same stage diagnosed a couple of months before her. Whilst raising awareness is great, there are ways to do this that don’t involve flaunting naked body around - I can’t think of anything I would rather not do and also for me she sold out when she started advertising everything. Personally though THE most annoying thing and the nurses at the Royal Marsden where I and bowel babe are treated agree is her bloody dancing around whilst on treatment, it’s so undignified and childish she is 40 not 4!! During treatment I sit with my pump and respect others around me not feeling I have to be centre of attention. I think she does a lot of damage to the integrity of this disease.

I’m raging This isn’t an unusual occurrence; it’s simply not good enough. Basically, if Monique didn’t have a family friend who was an oncologist then she would be completely unaware that there was a procedure available to her to buy her more time and more comfort
And -this isn’t a dig at BB- but it’s a procedure and an option that she had ages ago. Again, a massive gulf between private and NHS care.
I actually feel angry with myself because I feel like I should be doing something, writing to someone, something to try to get this unacceptable situation regarding healthcare addressed. I get that paying for private care means less waiting time, comfier rooms, even maybe better food, but it shouldn’t mean that if you can’t pay you’re basically thrown on the scrap heap when it’s deemed your time is up Or that when the time comes, the end is undignified and inhumane.
I hope the procedure goes smoothly for Monique and she can catch a break.
I hope BB is comfortable and not too distressed or scared by her situation.
Sorry for ranting

It’s really been on my mind since reading Deborah’s update (not stalking; it was just on my feed when I scrolled through instagram last night).
We were gently persuaded, by an A&E doctor, that a do not resuscitate on my Dads records would be kinder in the event of his heart stopping (it didn’t happen as it turned out). This was due to the fact that resuscitation is an unbelievably traumatic experience, and - if it had happened and he had come through it, he would still have had terminal cancer.
The thought that Deborah has gone through the trauma of rescuss , as well as more surgeries, brings it home how desperately she is trying to cling to life.
I genuinely feel heartbroken for her.
Also, from a selfish point of view, reading and thinking about it has put me into quite a bad place; it’s utterly depressing.
I wish her and her family well.

EmilyChambers said:

Or maybe she is just trying to get as much money as she can into the family pot?

It's frightening how many people have no life insurance at a young age and so panic and do as much as they can to ensure their families are taken care off.

It's desperately sad

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Really? Lives in a house worth 2/3million, art work worth thousands, wears jewellery worth thousands ( and lots of it) has private health insurance so very much doubt no life insurance. No offence to you at all, but the idea it’s because she needs the money made me spit my tea out.

Bowel gran needs to stick to baby gym.

I think the starting sentence ‘you won’t understand it because you’re not keen on Deborah’ was awfully condescending.
Of course we understand that it’s sad that someone so young, a mother of young children, is dying. No one here lacks empathy.