Zoella #5 Biological clock is knocking on door but her boyfriend has the mental age of 4

[SavetheDrama]

They really seem to be stuck at the age they became "famous" at: I use the air quotes here because they aren't nearly as famous as they think they are, the youtube bubble is only confined to a certain demo and even my husband and most of my friends don't know them and they are all early to mid 30s, which ironically would be around the demo they should be wooing.
Problem is they are surrounded by sycophants and yes-people and they don't have anybody around them to tell them they are basically throwing their lives away in their mansion. If they read here they are probably just thinking we're all jealous because they are "goalz". There's nothing goalz about wasting your life away like that.
Also, if you're reading, please treat your poor dog better!

 

[boredjess]

 

[invisibleotter]

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She probably thinks she is still the more famous Sugg and Joe will always be in her shadow.

To bad for her Joe if he keeps getting small gigs will do very well for himself, the way him and Dianne go he will probably be married with kids in the next few years and Alfie will still be sitting at the top of his half pipe "learning" to skate.

Wonder when she will realise that she is queen of YouTube and that no one wants to emulate her or think she is goalz

 

[Youtubegossip]

She probably thinks she is still the more famous Sugg and Joe will always be in her shadow.

To bad for her Joe if he keeps getting small gigs will do very well for himself, the way him and Dianne go he will probably be married with kids in the next few years and Alfie will still be sitting at the top of his half pipe "learning" to skate.

Wonder when she will realise that she is queen of YouTube and that no one wants to emulate her or think she is goalz

That half pipe will be rotted away and he’ll be in to his 695th new hobby that he’s still learning.

Literally can’t wait for this kayak thing. You’d think he’d have got proper lessons with all his money. Anyone know when it’s meant to happen?

 

[cherry198]

That half pipe will be rotted away and he’ll be in to his 695th new hobby that he’s still learning.

Literally can’t wait for this kayak thing. You’d think he’d have got proper lessons with all his money. Anyone know when it’s meant to happen?

I cannot wait to see him do this kayak thing,isn’t it like over a week long as well

 

[Alightened]

I cannot wait to see him do this kayak thing,isn’t it like over a week long as well

I can't wait for him to capsize

 

[Youtubegossip]

I can't wait for him to capsize

Still reckon he’ll ‘phone in sick’ for it. Probably break his ankle on that bloody half pipe the dimwit

 

[thenomad]

Still reckon he’ll ‘phone in sick’ for it. Probably break his ankle on that bloody half pipe the dimwit

I can totally see this happening.

The day we see Alfie skating on the half-pipe is the day before the kayak charity race. He'll find a way to sprain his wrist or ankle and therefore can't compete in the race anymore. Make a vlog about how sad he is and that he won't also be able to complete the 90-day challenge as well or some bs.

 

[emm]

I can totally see this happening.

The day we see Alfie skating on the half-pipe is the day before the kayak charity race. He'll find a way to sprain his wrist or ankle and therefore can't compete in the race anymore. Make a vlog about how sad he is and that he won't also be able to complete the 90-day challenge as well or some bs.

Definitely, I can already hear his voice.in the "so annoying I couldn't go... " vlog

 

[Horatio]

I haven't been this excited for a disaster waiting to happen since hello world (or Tanyas play if not talking about alfie)
Anyway we were right on both accounts there and this kayak endeavour sounds even more unachievable. We should do a sweepstake on how many miles he makes out of the 215 of the Thames (I Googled it )

 

[Youtubegossip]

Another Instagram of him standing at the top of his ramp. Show us the mad skillzzzzz Alf.

I haven't been this excited for a disaster waiting to happen since hello world (or Tanyas play if not talking about alfie)
Anyway we were right on both accounts there and this kayak endeavour sounds even more unachievable. We should do a sweepstake on how many miles he makes out of the 215 of the Thames (I Googled it )

Hasn’t he then got to go in the actual sea to France? He couldn’t even make it off Brighton shoreline without getting sea sick and needing a nap

 

[Horatio]

Ah just realized this is zoes thread. But lets be honest how embarasing ignorant and immature her boyfriend is is cannot be contained in his thread alone

 

[iLoveMeSomeCanoles]

invisibleotter said:

Insta models wouldn't even have a one night stand with him, as he is so pathetic.

I don't think anybody would. A safety hazard, isn't it... too much to get caught in one of his earrings.

Not to mention the ringworm.

 

[cherry198]

Another Instagram of him standing at the top of his ramp. Show us the mad skillzzzzz Alf.


Hasn’t he then got to go in the actual sea to France? He couldn’t even make it off Brighton shoreline without getting sea sick and needing a nap

I forgot about the trip to France
Isn’t the whole thing for charity? so if he pulls out he’s going to look like a right hole

 

[Youtubegossip]

I forgot about the trip to France
Isn’t the whole thing for charity? so if he pulls out he’s going to look like a right hole

Yep he said it was for charity. Is Steve and the other mate doing it too or has Alfie just bought them kayaks to play around with him? Haha

 

[Apple In My Pie]

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Just me thinking this is a bloody weird thing to say?

 

[thenomad]

Just me thinking this is a bloody weird thing to say?

She probably thought it was cheeky but it's also plays into her insecurity with her own stale relationship with Alfie.

She's probably jealous of how much chemistry Joe and Dianne have in their relationship. I'm sure she is gleefully waiting for them to break up so she can be the relevant Sugg again.

 

[invisibleotter]

She probably thought it was cheeky but it's also plays into her insecurity with her own stale relationship with Alfie.

She's probably jealous of how much chemistry Joe and Dianne have in their relationship. I'm sure she is gleefully waiting for them to break up so she can be the relevant Sugg again.

Problem for her is if Joe and Dianne do break up, Joe will still be more relevant it will be in the papers for weeks afterwards.

No matter how deluded she is Zoe will never be the more famous Sugg again. Joe has made the most of the opportunities which have come along since Strictly and he is just going to be offered bigger and better roles. So is just going to become more well known.

Dianne has given Joe the kick up the ass he needed to stop sitting on his ass and spending his days messing about with the Buttercreams. Dianne doesn't do lazy and she pulls Joe up for moaning. If Zoe knew what was good for her she would make an effort to be a genuine friend to Dianne cause she good be a really good influence in Zoe's life.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I can totally see this happening.

The day we see Alfie skating on the half-pipe is the day before the kayak charity race. He'll find a way to sprain his wrist or ankle and therefore can't compete in the race anymore. Make a vlog about how sad he is and that he won't also be able to complete the 90-day challenge as well or some bs.

Infuriating and so disrespectful to the charity involved. What a surprise.

I can totally see this happening.

The day we see Alfie skating on the half-pipe is the day before the kayak charity race. He'll find a way to sprain his wrist or ankle and therefore can't compete in the race anymore. Make a vlog about how sad he is and that he won't also be able to complete the 90-day challenge as well or some bs.

Infuriating and so disrespectful to the charity involved. What a surprise.

 

[electricmallows]

I don't have any problem with someone trying to promote mental health awareness but promoting an app that she just suddenly happens to use, without any mention of it in the past, just seems truly shady to me. And that whole 'well I buy that paid version' I think we all know if she's put it on her stories, how true that statement is