Zoe Sugg #9 Orangella needs A new fella! #autumnal

[boredjess]

I’ve been out of the loop because I just had a 42 hour labor, c-section, and giant 9 pound baby. I assume Zoe’s blog/website thing still isn’t up? [emoji23]

Congratulations!!!

But I'm afraid you missed so much. I mean, Zoella has turned into a skeleton.. from waiting for that ring.
We'll miss her. I think

And Mark decorated the mansion of trash in memory

Alfie decided to date cheese from now on

 

[DoreenYadeley]

I think Zoe is depressed. Honestly her life is enough to send anyone spiralling down into a real void. I think when she says she's ill she's actually feeling really low and unhappy.

I know she struggles with anxiety, I don't know if she's opened up about depression before but I genuinely think she suffers.

It would explain her lack of interest, her non existent motivation and low energy, low immune system, not wanting to leave the house, not socialising... just avoiding life etc. The constant reliance on junk food and sugar, her inability to move on and get out of this toxic relationship... the more you think about it the more it just makes sense!!

She needs help, she seems so unhappy and everytime I see her it's like she's screaming on the inside.

 

[Fendrel]

Found a new photo of Zoe...

Noooo I think she also looks a lot like Louise Redknapp. Actually she looks the same age as Louise.

 

[DoreenYadeley]

If she really wants kids and is smart, she could freeze her eggs. Not done through the NHS but privately and costs about $5k. She can more than afford it. Least then if Alf and her split, it would give her time to meet a REAL man and then settle down.

She'd probably have her very own freezer to keep them safe in the mansion and you just know Alfie the walking Braincell would accidentally think they were Waitrose luxury brand delicacies and eat them...

 

[navybluewolf]

I don't know why she clings so hard to that boring gummy bastard. As irritating as Zoe is, she could do a hell of a lot better. She could easily find some dumb male model type who would be more than happy to impregnate her and fulfil all her the autumnal yummy mummy dreams. With her money she could easily afford a nanny or help and could enjoy all the 'fun' mummy stuff like stuffing the baby into pumpkins

 

[Apple In My Pie]

I have a feeling that the only reason she likes autumn/Christmas/summer is because it’s the only thing to give her life some structure. Whereas your average person will see things as ‘I have school until next week’ or ‘I’m taking two weeks annual leave in march’, she doesn’t have that. She could do whatever she likes whenever she likes and so sometimes the days must blend into one or feel so... formulaic/empty

 

[Alfies_Boy]

 

[miam000]

Did no one notice in the latest vlog in the car when she’s bragging about how she’s finally washed her hair after 9 days, Alfie says it fucking stank like a sewage

 

[Gem_woody]

I definitely think she has depression too. The problem is she refuses to get help and keeps digging herself into a bigger hole. If she genuinely had a good therapist then her and Alfie wouldn't be regressing backwards so much. She also decided to scale back her work load considerably so now she has even more free time which leads to her wallowing in self-pity even more. I think also the fact Alfie has no real plans to propose is sinking in HARD. If it doesn't happen by her 30th then it won't happen anytime soon. She gets very quiet whenever she has to attend a wedding. Maybe some of that is due to the friend wanting some privacy and not having it all over sm but I think more so it's out of jealousy too. It has to be hard to see everyone moving on and taking their relationship to the next step while Alfie plays with his toys all day and pretends to call it work.

I would love her bank account so I could do more traveling and work less but I don't envy her current predicament. Her career is stalled (by her own making), her relationship is stalled (by Alfie), and she's not very clever (due to the idiots she constantly hangs out with). She likes to joke she's a granny but even senior citizens have a more active and fulfilling life than Zoe on any given day and considering many of them lived through several war times... I don't have any sympathy especially when she's seeking it on IG of all places. Woah is me. I'm a millionaire with no considerable debt and I'm stuck in bed!!! *pretend cough* Yes, such a hard life that Zoe lives...

My nan is not far off 90 and she goes out dancing every Saturday night with her friends til past midnight! Zoe lives like a mummified corpse

 

[GossWhore]

One day Alfie will say the last one without Joking

 

[cherry198]

That’s because you do luv

 

[Alightened]

She's a grubby cow

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

You guys go on about how she’d never be able to look after a baby because she can’t even feed herself but you’re forgetting you have to have sex to make a baby, and these two 100% don’t have sex. Their body language tells all

I wouldn’t have sex with her, she doesn’t wash her hair so I doubt she washes her fanny.

And he has ringworm so...

 

[DoreenYadeley]

So she can't even pay to have her nails done as a bridesmaid?View attachment 47911

Looks like when you get your 9yr old sister to do the nails, she fucks it up but you leave it for 24hrs to spare her feelings then desperately try to remove that shit

 

[nemidiso]

can we pause and recognize that zoe def has a type and that (even he obviously was a jerk) wilf is way more handsome than alfie?

 

[Alightened]

Look, let's face it, they're both as bad as each other in my opinion, neither one of them is to blame. They aren't children, although they act like they are, but for fuck's sake, Alfie is a twat and so is she. I don't feel remotely sorry for her, she's a grown woman and although he doesn't come across as one he's a grown man. They both get what they deserve, and that's each other, both clueless, dim, boring as hell, vacuous, and not a fucking clue about real life.

 

[Greed-Futures]

Ironic she’s trying to talk about the dire future of our planet but all she can focus on is the CUTE pumpkin display? Speaking of waste, what about those pumpkins rotting back at the not-mansion, Zoe?

Coupled with her and Alfie producing so much waste with all of their single use plastic from takeaways, their constant consumerism, and driving an SUV. Her and Alfie are complete morons and their messages always fail to deliver. I know they want to seem intelligent bc according to those two idiots wearing fake glasses and spouting random quotes occasionally on IG = smart. But intelligence is measure by actions as well. These two fall short by every measure. Sit the f*ck down, Zoe. If you really care about our planet then spend a day picking up some trash or donate money to charities that are fighting climate change. Stop buying entire wardrobes for a single season. Stop supporting fast fashion. And certainly don’t post a lame attempted IG story and think that absolves you of your part in the uphill battle of dealing with climate change.

Imagine if she and Alfie/Soppy/Mark/A-Z office/etc. organized a day to clean up the beachfront in Brighton and promoted it on social media so their followers could join them. They could leverage their online presence for good for once. So much trash would get picked up. Hell, if she sold nicely designed shirts in tandem with the clean up day and sold them online and donated the profits to an environmental cause, that'd be the cherry on top. But Zoe can't leave her sofa because she might get recognized in town! And people might want to come up and say hi! ANXIETY ALERT!

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

#Futureself

 

[Laughingforlife]

The Daniel Wellington ads are annoying me. She does too many of them so close together! Ads annoy me unless they're very clearly genuine. ZOE DOESN'T EVEN WEAR A FUCKING WATCH! Sorry. I'll go and lie down in a darkened room to recover.

 

[pineapple9]

View attachment 52392

She's a grubby cow

She sounds so proud about it, too. Fucking hell, that's not cute or cool or anything, it's just damn disgusting.