Why are there so many single parents?

[mummy2under2]

People that want to cheat, would cheat regardless of socisk media dating apps etc.

No I agree completely.
However it’s a thousand times easier for someone to cheat these days than it was 20/30 years ago.
No denying that!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I think a lot of people are not willing to put in the hard work anymore. Obvs things like violence is never acceptable. But I do think people just give up, especially because it is now socially acceptable to be difforced.

We went throught a rough path about 7 years into the relationship and it was bad for at least a year but once that was out of the way our relationship only got stronger. Together 16 years now

 

[Lovelylavenderface]

Dv
I couldn’t take anymore of the gaslighting beatings abuse so I walked away
hardest thing I ever did
and got judged for ‘making him do it’ and ‘should have tried harder’
nobody could have tried as hard as I did-he refused to change so I took the kids and ran

It wasn’t your fault. Don’t ever think that! That’s what my dad was like!

 

[Youngmum29]

It’s more socially acceptable now to leave a relationship that isn’t working. It would not have been the norm 30-40 years ago.

Typically both parents will be working now, compared to days gone by when only one parent would be making it difficult to survive financially. Also more government help now too.

I understand that, but I find it strange that people seem to rush into having a family and split so soon after. Having children changes a lot of things but I get the impression that some people (again no judgment, just opinion) seem to find it easier to walk away, then put in the effort to have a good relationship.

I also know that if you’re genuinely unhappy then nothing should keep you tied to another person, as long as you can both be a part of the child’s life in a positive way.

 

[Death2unicorns]

A lot of the single mums I know just had unprotected sex with men they didn't really know, trust or were even in a relationship with. Then men either didn't want to know or wanted to be involved in the childs life but not in a relationship with them.

this seems to be very common these days, I bet a lot of them say it was an ‘accident’ too

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’m a single mum of a newborn, wasn’t planned this way...I’m currently adjusting and back at my parents with a newborn baby. He couldn’t handle our newborn daughter so I left a few days after I came home from hospital. I’m absolutely devastated but I had to leave for my own mental state as he wouldn’t speak or be in the same room as me. I don’t have any answers and so far he’s never asked for me back. I wouldn’t have had a baby if this was the situation I could see myself in. Sometimes situations are out of our hands and we have to act on the cards we have been dealt.

Agreed, my brother was married for 5 years and his wife pestered him to have a baby. But as soon as the baby was born she totally changed and left them.
It was very sad to begin with but at the end of the day my brother is super happy got married again last year

 

[Youngmum29]

Are you referring to someone when you say some people seem to find it easier to walk away than put effort in? Not everyone shares if they have relationship issues so people may have tried things and others wouldn't know. Speaking from personal experience I didn't find it easy to meet someone being a single parent but that doesn't mean I'd stay in an unhappy relationship. It would depend on what the issues are causing the relationship breakdown if you would want to save it.. Example cheating.

No, no one in particular, I just see it quite often on my social media, a lot of people my age (30) and younger, seem to have a “happy” relationship with the mother/father of their child(ren) and then it seems like 5 minutes have passed and they’ve split up. I know I can never really know what goes on behind closed doors, it just comes across like so many people aren’t really committed to their family.

 

[GossipBug]

Since having our baby my husband and I do bicker a lot more but I put it down to a) tiredness and b) sometimes I can feel a bit envious that he's still going to work every day while I'm at home with the baby, which is basically a full time job (looking after the baby, keeping up with the household chores while he naps, putting the baby to bed and then cooking dinner. I sometimes don't feel like I get any time to myself to relax until we sit down for dinner at around 8 when dinner is cooked and the baby is in bed). Not to mention it can get lonely if the weather is bad and we're kind of stuck inside the house all day. We are lucky that this baby was planned and we're in a position where he earns enough that I can take a year off for maternity leave, but I can see that if you're already in a rocky relationship, the added stress of having a baby and all that goes with it (lack of sleep, financial worries of raising a baby, getting snappy when the baby cries in the middle of the night) it can just widen cracks that were already there.

 

[petitspois]

plus men and women mix far, far more than they would have done in my grandparents era as women generally didn't go out to work. Affairs became more common. I also see people who have a baby as a sticking plaster sometimes on a poor relationship.
In my experience, the couples I mix with that have split, the man has had an affair (which happened to me).

 

[Noname12345]

I actually know quite a few examples of women being the bad guys.

1. My dad's first wife cheated on him and then demanded divorce. My step brother was 7 years old. It took my dad over 3 years to move on and another 3 to meet my mum.
2. Apparently my nan used to cheat on my grandpa although they didn't split up.
3. My ex's ex left him. Got pregnant with a loser and begged my ex to come back. My ex brought up the kid until the age of 3,5 yrs old and then she left him again.
4. My other ex, mother of his kid left him and told the kid that daddy didn't love him.

We don't have children, but we talk about having them. I have my concerns and worries and I'm not sure how having a baby would impact our relationship. He's a free spirit in many ways, but he knows that having a kid will require many sacrifices. I'm worried that I'll be over protective, I'll push him away and I'll end up resenting him. I think I'd like to have a split/shared parental leave.

 

[MaeveWiley]

More acceptable to leave a relationship.
More ways to cheat unfortunately!
People still getting married young. . Like in Ireland average age is 32 for a woman to get married yet all my Scottish mates are 24-31 and all married with kids !!
People having kids before marriage is becoming the norm
Loads of reasons

 

[Youngmum29]

Out the gate I just want to say that I’m curious, not judgmental about this subject.

I was thinking to my self about why these days (late 2000’s and beyond) there are so many failed (sorry, shit word but my mind’s drawn a blank) relationships with children at the heart of the matter?

I understand children can put a strain on a relationship, I’ve got 2 daughters myself and it’s tested my marriage on a fair few occasions, but so many people I know have children and split up..... I’m curious as to why. Any answers appreciated!