This conversation came from this extremely polite and respectful response so I thought I would start a new thread in case anyone else wanted to know
The conversation was
The conversation was
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I’d be really interested in this. The original post put in words exactly what I was thinking in a more eloquent way than I could word it 
Thank you for starting this thread.
I came across this on Facebook and felt it had some really useful, wide range of accessible and informative resources.
docs.google.com
Anti-racism resources for white people
First of all, this was never about “winning”. So please get out of that mentality and be willing to come to the table with an open mind and not by falling back to being a victim in this situation-when you are not.
It is about taking action instead of idly standing by the sidelines and pretending to be upset that something bad happened and then merely brushing it off because it doesn’t affect your life personally. POC do not protest in order to “win”. POC are not bringing up racism just for the point of “winning”. They are doing so to bring about change. They are doing so because so many injustices, and in the case for black people, lives are being deliberately extinguished.
The fact that even @GossWhore has to bring receipts and explain to you what is happening or how you can be an ally, instead of you taking your the time to go do some research on your own and playing victim is already the wrong attitude and mindset to be coming into this. This isn’t about winning or trying to make you feel bad for being a white person. It is about willing to be educated and truly understand what you take for granted each and every day is not afforded to POC. And maybe that you can be an ally during these tumultuous times.
I will leave it there, how you decide to react and take the next steps is up to you.
Thanks for being so patient with me trying to formulate a response. Work got on top of me.
So to answer "What can white allies do on social media and off"?
1. Start conversations with your fellow white people (especially the ones who are not allies yet)
- Don't wait for black people to start the conversation constantly, this is a relay race so we are passing the baton as honestly, we are tired.
- These conversations can be about on current affairs happening within black communities such as George Floyd and grow from there.
- Raise unconscious bias questions such as have you ever questioned being in a room just filled with white people, your interactions with police, your position on dating outside your race, assumptions you have made about other races in the past?
- It is perfectly OK if you have changed your initial stance on these bias, but by starting the conversation with other white people you can make them aware of things they may never have thought to question. (For example, my friend put forward the question for her white followers to note how many other races were in the room at team meetings, something they had never questioned, yet after than initial conversation it made them rethink) - in the current climate, you could alter this as how many other races do you follow on your socials? Some people will be shocked.
2. Embrace the Uncomfortable
- You all saw the interaction here on Tattle when I made a clear point and instead of the responder understanding, a poorly formed Snickers joke was made -- and that is because of white fragility which makes white people uncomfortable so instead of trying to understand - jokes are cracked, the subject is changed, defensive go up, disagreeing without understanding and the final nail "All Lives Matter" is uttered.
- As I said you have to feel uncomfortable because that is a small margin in comparison to what black people deal with.
- Question "why do I feel this way"? - investigate those emotions that make you uncomfortable instead of shutting them down.
2. Unlearn the rhetoric: "I don't see Color"
- Wild right?
- Some white allies I know use to think some of the things they said were socially acceptable, but really they were overtly racist statements e.g. "I don't see color" -- unlearn that.
- Don't be scared to say black because if you have two Debbies are one is black, just say it because you can definitely see her colour and that is a part of her.
- So yes you see color - because if you don't you are not seeing your black friends, family, coworkers and you don't see the unequal infrastructure and injustice.
- Jane Elliot (one of my fav white allies) spoke about this here (I would implore you to watch the whole video, but 9.44 is where she begins the conversation), also check out her experiment called "How Racist Are You" on brown and blue eyes she did in the UK on Channel 4 a few years ago here.
3. Use resources, not just black people
- After unlearning you have to relearn and although it's great to have these conversations, black people are exhausted so we can't always be the go-to. So books, films and Google are great resources.
- As I once said to my friend "you cannot say you are well-read, when every book you read is by a white author"
- Join a book club and bring that book as your choice to discuss further
- By reading and watching various sources, you become less of an echo chamber with similar people, you get an insight into issues you may not have known about or known how to approach
- Learn slowly and intentional, not just for the sake of learning
Some of my recommended are:
Books:
3. Curate diverse social medias
- This will help keep you informed and out of the echo chamber.
- With diverse, share and comment on these activists posts. Ask questions so you are constantly learning (plus it allows others who may come across the post and have the same question, have a better understanding)
This way you can also help boost the voices of black people and be aware of what is going on when you receive backlash (because trust me you will, not everyone wants a fairer society and you realise that via social media). This will give you a platform to denounce things if you don't racism wins.
- Use your feed to not only like and learn, but speak out, as MLK Jr said "to ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it"
3. Accept your white privilege
- I know many who hate the term, roll their eyes and scoff but its a necessity to accept and acknowledge.
- It also takes a lot of introspectiveness from white people and again can be uncomfortable unpacking these conversations.
- Remember white privilege is not saying you haven't had a hard life or invaliding that, it just notes your skin colour did not add to it
- Use your privilege for good in many of the ways listed in this post - if you have children teach them about this, the younger the better
- If you constantly fight against this, I am sorry but you can never truly be an ally with your eyes shut whilst benefiting from a system that consistently fails black people.
4. Financially help
- There are great organisations out there such as ROTA, Race Equality Foundation, NAACP, Color of Change.
- If that's not possible sign petitions, AND keep the conversation alive. Share it between friends and talk about why you are sharing it.
- As noted, I said not to use black people you know as your go-to Google, but if you have events, workshops, programmes on race and know someone who could contribute and earn from this - ask them. You get to play a part in financially helping and also spreading knowledge.
4. Call them Out!
- That's right - call out your problematic friends, family members etc, "Silence in the face of injustice is complicity with the oppressor"
- Call out your councillors, MPs, Mayors via email, letter - step on their necks and make them feel the pressure!
- To be a good ally, we need to see you doing the work!
- It is no longer enough to say "I'm not racist", you have to show your anti-racism through your actions.
Lastly, this is life long work, and now you can understand why black people are tired. So as a white ally, you need to daily acknowledge your own racial bias and commit to dismantling it within.
This movement cannot be led solely by black people. If we want real change, we need real allyship.
Thanks for reading this, the last couple days have been extremely tough - this really pushed my buttons as my brother was killed due to police brutality (why I left NYC and came back to the UK), but the white allies I had made after has truly shown me change can happen if people are willing to acknowledge and work for it.
So to answer "What can white allies do on social media and off"?
1. Start conversations with your fellow white people (especially the ones who are not allies yet)
- Don't wait for black people to start the conversation constantly, this is a relay race so we are passing the baton as honestly, we are tired.
- These conversations can be about on current affairs happening within black communities such as George Floyd and grow from there.
- Raise unconscious bias questions such as have you ever questioned being in a room just filled with white people, your interactions with police, your position on dating outside your race, assumptions you have made about other races in the past?
- It is perfectly OK if you have changed your initial stance on these bias, but by starting the conversation with other white people you can make them aware of things they may never have thought to question. (For example, my friend put forward the question for her white followers to note how many other races were in the room at team meetings, something they had never questioned, yet after than initial conversation it made them rethink) - in the current climate, you could alter this as how many other races do you follow on your socials? Some people will be shocked.
2. Embrace the Uncomfortable
- You all saw the interaction here on Tattle when I made a clear point and instead of the responder understanding, a poorly formed Snickers joke was made -- and that is because of white fragility which makes white people uncomfortable so instead of trying to understand - jokes are cracked, the subject is changed, defensive go up, disagreeing without understanding and the final nail "All Lives Matter" is uttered.
- As I said you have to feel uncomfortable because that is a small margin in comparison to what black people deal with.
- Question "why do I feel this way"? - investigate those emotions that make you uncomfortable instead of shutting them down.
2. Unlearn the rhetoric: "I don't see Color"
- Wild right?
- Some white allies I know use to think some of the things they said were socially acceptable, but really they were overtly racist statements e.g. "I don't see color" -- unlearn that.
- Don't be scared to say black because if you have two Debbies are one is black, just say it because you can definitely see her colour and that is a part of her.
- So yes you see color - because if you don't you are not seeing your black friends, family, coworkers and you don't see the unequal infrastructure and injustice.
- Jane Elliot (one of my fav white allies) spoke about this here (I would implore you to watch the whole video, but 9.44 is where she begins the conversation), also check out her experiment called "How Racist Are You" on brown and blue eyes she did in the UK on Channel 4 a few years ago here.
3. Use resources, not just black people
- After unlearning you have to relearn and although it's great to have these conversations, black people are exhausted so we can't always be the go-to. So books, films and Google are great resources.
- As I once said to my friend "you cannot say you are well-read, when every book you read is by a white author"
- Join a book club and bring that book as your choice to discuss further
- By reading and watching various sources, you become less of an echo chamber with similar people, you get an insight into issues you may not have known about or known how to approach
- Learn slowly and intentional, not just for the sake of learning
Some of my recommended are:
Books:
- The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander
- Why I am No Longer Talking to White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge
- The Good Immigrant - Nikesh Shukla
- Brit(ish) - Afua Hirsch
- So You Want To Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo
- Natives - Akala
- Tears We Cannot Stop - Michael Eric Dyson
- They Can't Kill Us All - Wesley Lowery
- White Fragility - Robin DiAngelo
- Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? - Beverly Daniel Tatum
- White Rage - Carol Anderson
- When They See Us
- If Beale Street Could Talk
- The Hate U Give
- Dear White People
- Selma
- The Color Purple
- Hidden Figures
3. Curate diverse social medias
- This will help keep you informed and out of the echo chamber.
- With diverse, share and comment on these activists posts. Ask questions so you are constantly learning (plus it allows others who may come across the post and have the same question, have a better understanding)
This way you can also help boost the voices of black people and be aware of what is going on when you receive backlash (because trust me you will, not everyone wants a fairer society and you realise that via social media). This will give you a platform to denounce things if you don't racism wins.
- Use your feed to not only like and learn, but speak out, as MLK Jr said "to ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it"
3. Accept your white privilege
- I know many who hate the term, roll their eyes and scoff but its a necessity to accept and acknowledge.
- It also takes a lot of introspectiveness from white people and again can be uncomfortable unpacking these conversations.
- Remember white privilege is not saying you haven't had a hard life or invaliding that, it just notes your skin colour did not add to it
- Use your privilege for good in many of the ways listed in this post - if you have children teach them about this, the younger the better
- If you constantly fight against this, I am sorry but you can never truly be an ally with your eyes shut whilst benefiting from a system that consistently fails black people.
4. Financially help
- There are great organisations out there such as ROTA, Race Equality Foundation, NAACP, Color of Change.
- If that's not possible sign petitions, AND keep the conversation alive. Share it between friends and talk about why you are sharing it.
- As noted, I said not to use black people you know as your go-to Google, but if you have events, workshops, programmes on race and know someone who could contribute and earn from this - ask them. You get to play a part in financially helping and also spreading knowledge.
4. Call them Out!
- That's right - call out your problematic friends, family members etc, "Silence in the face of injustice is complicity with the oppressor"
- Call out your councillors, MPs, Mayors via email, letter - step on their necks and make them feel the pressure!
- To be a good ally, we need to see you doing the work!
- It is no longer enough to say "I'm not racist", you have to show your anti-racism through your actions.
Lastly, this is life long work, and now you can understand why black people are tired. So as a white ally, you need to daily acknowledge your own racial bias and commit to dismantling it within.
This movement cannot be led solely by black people. If we want real change, we need real allyship.
Thanks for reading this, the last couple days have been extremely tough - this really pushed my buttons as my brother was killed due to police brutality (why I left NYC and came back to the UK), but the white allies I had made after has truly shown me change can happen if people are willing to acknowledge and work for it.
Thank you, I appreciate it. Some of the books you recommended, I have on hold at the library.
For white people wanting to read some books, I suggest going to Goodreads. There are specific shelves created under the subject of Black Lives Matter and about how to be anti racist.
I am sorry about your brother.
thank you for a really informative post. I have seen a few of those films and will check out those books.
I am very sorry about your brother.
I am so very very sorry about your brother.xx
Thank you for sharing this! I will definitely be looking into these resources you have shared.
Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Sending love to you and your family xx
I’m trying my best to be as active as I can. Just sharing posts on social media isn't enough. Not that it ever was. I do quite a few of these things already (and will continue to do so of course, it needs to continue) - but will continue to increase what I do.
I'm not uncomfortable at all to admit that I can always do more and it's only been recently that I've realised that I don't do enough. Just unfriending my problematic friends on Facebook and sharing posts was never enough. They need calling out (which I've done a few times these past few days. Didnt realise how many assholes I knew) - and I've signed all the petitions I've found on Twitter and managed to donate to an organisation I came across on there also. I wish I could've given more.
But I can do a lot more. There's room for a lot more. It's so right that just being 'not racist' isn't enough, we need to be anti racist.
Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Sending love to you and your family xx
I’m trying my best to be as active as I can. Just sharing posts on social media isn't enough. Not that it ever was. I do quite a few of these things already (and will continue to do so of course, it needs to continue) - but will continue to increase what I do.
I'm not uncomfortable at all to admit that I can always do more and it's only been recently that I've realised that I don't do enough. Just unfriending my problematic friends on Facebook and sharing posts was never enough. They need calling out (which I've done a few times these past few days. Didnt realise how many assholes I knew) - and I've signed all the petitions I've found on Twitter and managed to donate to an organisation I came across on there also. I wish I could've given more.
But I can do a lot more. There's room for a lot more. It's so right that just being 'not racist' isn't enough, we need to be anti racist.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. I am so so sorry about your brother, no one should ever have to go through that.
Ive shared your post with a few different group chats for others to read.
I read Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race last year and it is amazing. Opened my eyes to so much I was ignorant to before. Going to get some more of those books you recommended and keep educating myself.
Every white person can always do more to help no matter how educated or clued up they are. This has stemmed from centuries of discrimination and we must work to become allies and active supporters in the years and years to come.
Thanks again xx
I was unlucky enough to grew up in London (I hated it) so am used to different cultures in my life, of which were just normal people to me and that’s because of my parents, my schools and those around me who never made a big deal out of it, never pointed out differences, which I’m forever thankful for - although I was annoyed my parents didn’t own a Kebab shop like one of my friends for the longest time!
I am white, all my favourite dolls growing up were black and I never thought anything of it. It wasn’t until I got older, wiser and saw the real world away from my youth and it’s something I still find very hard to grasp how people treat others different because of their skin colour, I just don’t understand it. I’ve watched great documentaries and it just sickens me honestly. I tear up now thinking of it.
I don’t know really know the world outside of my world, I no longer live in London and don’t have as much multi cultural influence due to my current area where I live post Uni - I would really like to know how the US and U.K. compare are in terms of rasisim - is it the same or different. To me, I like to feel the British culture are much more open to everything. Is police brutality a thing in the U.K., well I guess it is... but, is it to that same extreme?!
I also would love to know, no one has the answers but... what is it that changes?! Children aren’t born racist, it’s taught by others. But in 2020, how is this still a thing?
I’ve been posting about George and will be reading about more I can do to help so thanks for all the tips, books and links!
I am white, all my favourite dolls growing up were black and I never thought anything of it. It wasn’t until I got older, wiser and saw the real world away from my youth and it’s something I still find very hard to grasp how people treat others different because of their skin colour, I just don’t understand it. I’ve watched great documentaries and it just sickens me honestly. I tear up now thinking of it.
I don’t know really know the world outside of my world, I no longer live in London and don’t have as much multi cultural influence due to my current area where I live post Uni - I would really like to know how the US and U.K. compare are in terms of rasisim - is it the same or different. To me, I like to feel the British culture are much more open to everything. Is police brutality a thing in the U.K., well I guess it is... but, is it to that same extreme?!
I also would love to know, no one has the answers but... what is it that changes?! Children aren’t born racist, it’s taught by others. But in 2020, how is this still a thing?
I’ve been posting about George and will be reading about more I can do to help so thanks for all the tips, books and links!
But you came with disrespect. As I said I hope your kids don't follow the same ideology you're obviously entrenched with.
Its not about winning its about learning and its clear you don't want to do that.
If you want a clear "how not to be a white ally" use this response.
And if you ever doubt how you are behaving, ask your black counterparts what you said and see their reaction.
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Thank you for this very thought out and detailed list. Adding more of those books to my list now, have read some but a few have cropped up in the past few days that I need to read.
I am from London too, though it is a multicultural city and as a white person you may not have thought about race, the experience of minorities would be far from the same.
White privilege allows obliviousness, as we benefit from the system built to keep one group above the other. And yes even in 2020, racism still exists, in order to uphold this.
US and U.K. has similarities, there’s aplenty racial profiling and abuse by U.K. police, and the Stephen Lawrence case found that the met is institutionally racist. The London riots in 2010 started due to the police shooting and killing a man. Anyway it’s not a competition.
I’m glad collective learning and unlearning is happening RN.
I’m so sorry about your brother @GossWhore 
Thanks for your references.
I’m not sure how racism is learned in a person, when I was a child my dad was racist. We also had no black children in our school or in our area, yet I still knew even as a 6 year old that the racist things he would say were wrong. I’ve never understood why people are treated differently due to skin colour.
Would Stephen Lawrence have been attacked and killed if he was a white teenager though? Would police have shot and killed an unarmed white man like they did Mark Duggan? I think the answer to both is no.
These are just my thoughts I don’t know nearly enough about these murders to go into depth. Also what does Lee Rigby have to do with it? That was a totally separate terrorist attack.
Thanks for your references.I’m not sure how racism is learned in a person, when I was a child my dad was racist. We also had no black children in our school or in our area, yet I still knew even as a 6 year old that the racist things he would say were wrong. I’ve never understood why people are treated differently due to skin colour.
Wow.
Would Stephen Lawrence have been attacked and killed if he was a white teenager though? Would police have shot and killed an unarmed white man like they did Mark Duggan? I think the answer to both is no.
These are just my thoughts I don’t know nearly enough about these murders to go into depth. Also what does Lee Rigby have to do with it? That was a totally separate terrorist attack.
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Thank you for this. I do feel like it can be so hard to figure out as a white person where to stand correctly, and I know that it’s with POC It’s next to you, and with you.
I particularly found the point about the two debbies interesting - I always thought that describing one as ‘black’ might be deemed racist but I actually really liked your point about being able to see their colour, so thank you for that, it’s something I’ll certainly do going forward.
I feel like we’ve always been told to be ‘we see no colour’ as a way of ‘treating everyone equal’ but I see now how that is just as bad. Ive learnt we need to see colour, to acknowledge there is a problem.
I particularly found the point about the two debbies interesting - I always thought that describing one as ‘black’ might be deemed racist but I actually really liked your point about being able to see their colour, so thank you for that, it’s something I’ll certainly do going forward.
I feel like we’ve always been told to be ‘we see no colour’ as a way of ‘treating everyone equal’ but I see now how that is just as bad. Ive learnt we need to see colour, to acknowledge there is a problem.
Can I just say I find it incredibly ignorant when the older generation call black people 'coloured' people. I have actually corrected family/friends who have said it.
Wasn't coloured considered the respectful term to use in the 70's? I can understand some of the older generation not keeping up with the changes of the world. My old Dad can't get his head around ATM's, phones etc.Can I just say I find it incredibly ignorant when the older generation call black people 'coloured' people. I have actually corrected family/friends who have said it.