Where have all the manners gone??

[Black.bird]

I'm finding a lot of older people to be really rude just lately.

Last week, I pulled into the only carpark left, beside which was a car where the occupants were sitting with all the doors open (It's summer where I am, and very hot). I wound down my window and politely asked the lady sitting in the passenger seat, if she'd mind closing her door so I could open mine. She muttered something, then threw her McDonald's drink out the door! Thankfully I managed to get my window up in time. Then everyone in the car started laughing and I felt unsafe, so I drove off. Disgusting. The lady in question looked to be late 50s/early 60s.

Recently I was teaching my friend to ride a bike. She's really embarrassed about the fact she never learned when she was younger, so I was being really patient with her, and praising her every step along the way (she almost got there). An older man came over and started waving his arms around, stuttering - I thought there'd been an accident somewhere at first - and took over! We'd never seen him before. He grabbed the handles off my friend, almost sending her flying, and proceeded to stand over the bike and mansplain it all to her. I'm sure he was trying to be helpful but it was rude and when I asked him to stop he just kept talking. My friend is now refusing to get back on the bike.

 

[chickhicks86]

I was walking into my local M&S today, wide, double door, plenty of room for people to pass as they enter and exit. A woman was coming out with three/ four children. She made no attempt to get them to create space so that they weren't taking up the full doorway. So kids like that then have no idea of basic manners, they just barge on because that's what they see her doing. I just kept walking and they had to give me space.

I'm sick of it.

Likewise if you're walking and there's two people together, meeting one or more along a path, my automatic thing would be to drop into single file. I was walking one evening, and as I was about to meet a couple with a buggy, which she was pushing, they clearly expected me to stand aside to allow them to pass. When it became clear that I just was not doing that, he had to kinda skip in behind her at the last minute. I would say they are still gazing after me in amazement. How dare I want a bit of the footpath.

And lastly, if you're walking your dog, especially on an extendable lead, this does not give you some kind of magic right of way to have the dog at one side of the path, and you the other, with no thought of how someone you are meeting is going to get past.

Grrrrrrrr

My teen will do this without being prompted, it's such a basic thing! I live somewhere with lots of narrow roads, if there are pavements they are often only single person width. I tend to come across people mainly when I'm out running or walking the dog so I think it's only fair that I am the one to move into the road as I am moving faster (marginally ) or think that my dog has less right on the pavement than a person. I'd say probably only about 20% of people acknowledge this at all. Of course other times you get the too polite British dance when you both want to be the one that walks in the road.

 

[Rosie glow]

I had a lady (I use the term loosely) bring a dog in to our shop one time, so I politely told her we don't allow dogs as its a food shop but you're welcome to tie it up at the front
To which she replied if anything happens to this dog my husband will kill you
I mean how can you answer that?

 

[ChastityDingle]

This!!! Whenever i go and do the big shop there’s always at least one person who just blocks and aisle with their trolley. Or I end up going at that time of day where it’s like the supermarket is a social club and people block the aisle and have a long conversation with someone they know.

Oh gawd yes! I moved the same guy's trolley three times one day in Aldi. Every time, it was left so that it was blocking aisles, while he was god knows where!

I was walking up to a self checkout this evening in my local supermarket. There's three tills each side, and the way IN to the main part of the shop is right beside the self service tills. So it's basically one way traffic in the section at the self service tills. You use them and then exit stage left from them.

A guy was coming charging in through the self service tills instead of actually going in the right way, a few feet away. I just kept going, and didn't even pretend to see him. I thought good luck with that if you meet my basket, you will be the one with the bruises!
I am so sick of that kind of carry on. He must have moved aside...!

 

[Pipsy]

Perhaps we should bring back those old instructional manners and etiquette videos.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

My partner and I had a bizarre encounter with a woman of mature years, whilst waiting for a bus today. She was behind us in the queue, and began talking nonsense, she thought my partner was a woman. He had 2 day old stubble on his face!
She managed to push past my partner, and ended up behind me. I was just about to ask for two single tickets, when she took her credit card and was about to pay for her ticket, in other words she disregarded my presence entirely. Normally I would not have reacted, but this time, I spoke up. I said excuse me in a loud voice. The bus driver was flumoxed because he thought that this woman was with me. So I said I would like two tickets for myself and my partner (I pointed to him, rather than say "my partner").
I managed to grab the tickets, and rushed upstairs, the woman was also coming up the stairs. So I walked to the back of the bus - getting as far away from her as possible. My partner joined me. He told me that the woman had insisted on sitting at the front of the bus, disturbing some young women whilst doing so.
Not only was she a nutjob, she was a bloody rude nutjob, if you'll pardon the un pc terminology.

 

[ClaretFairy]

I do wish parents would teach their children (particularly boys) to eat with their mouths closed.

 

[House of Tea]

My husband is very friendly and polite but he goes full on potty mouth if another driver doesn’t say thanks for letting him through/out. it happens more now. His other bug bear is people not moving to single file on paths, which seems to be something that grinds a lot of gears. Nowadays he doesn't move, he ploughs on through. The shock on peoples faces when they don’t move - he just walks into them. This is so unlike him but he is quite determined not to give way. I haven’t had the nerve yet.

I hate it when people stand too close at check outs. I have asked somebody if they were paying for me before when they were standing with me at the card machine. Doors being held open without getting acknowledged is quite common now.

Anti social phone use is off the scale now. I saw a security guard in a department store (a small independent) sort of hiding behind a counter. At first I thought he was lying low to watch someone. No he was watching videos quite shiftily, not bothered about doing his job. I hate it when you are having a meal with someone and they spend all their time on the phone. It’s so rude. It is literally saying, you are too boring to hold my attention, so I am doing this instead. Or if you go to the theatre or cinema, you can see people continually turning on their phones, being a distraction to others. The way people behave in concerts and public events has also declined - that recent woman evicted from a theatre is a case in point.

I went to Northumbria last year - the people up there seemed so much more better mannered. It was so marked compared to the South East where I am based. In my area if you say something to someone, a pleasantry rather than something nasty, people look at you as if you are a) a nutter or b) something at the bottom of their shoe.

In work, it used to be you nodded at someone you didn’t know but perhaps saw occasionally,but now people seem to get off in ignoring people, like blanking someone is a super power. It is easier to nod and flick a smile than to avert eyes abruptly and turn your head.

Hell is other people.

 

[cococookie]

I’m tired of people nearly walking straight into me because they are looking down at their phone. I was constantly having to dodge people on Saturday afternoon while in town. It’s even worse when they mumble something or give you a look as if it’s your fault they almost walked into you

 

[Piff paff puff]

I was parked next to another car today and we arrived back at our car at the same time. An elderly couple, and as I was walking around to my door he opened it for me! I told his wife he's a keeper

 

[RaveChampion]

I've always been a stickler for good manners/etiquette. I often think I was brought up to be too well mannered if such a thing is possible. Still, they are the glue that just about holds us all together most of the time. They're free etc...

I recall it being as bad back in the 80's and 90's. Probably because a part of me was constantly monitoring for infractions like a demented Drusilla Beyfus.

Now I'm sanguine about it and try to get some bad manners in myself on occassion to keep the cosmic balance. That's my excuse anyway.

 

[Cheapseats]

We have one rude neighbour who blanks my husband (though not me) in the street and has done since we moved here.
When I noticed I made it a game to avoid acknowledging this man. It takes a lot of effort and forethought to be so rude as I discovered. The other week he passed and said hello when I was out the front and I was so pissed with myself that I had automatically reciprocated his hello.

 

[holliebollie]

Talking of people standing too close in supermarkets, I had a woman and her daughter standing literally at my shoulder in the pharmacy queue as I was asking for bloody worming tablets the pharmacist moved me along to the next till away from her but I was psyching myself up to say (loudly) ‘Can I ask you this somewhere more PRIVATE please?’ Just so selfish, stand back nosy giblet!

 

[RaveChampion]

On occassion I've been accused of being "ignorant" in relation to "blanking" people. The truth is in my case it's poor eye sight, shyness and pure social awkwardness when this happens 9 times out of 10. I'm probably so busy computing the required manners/etiquette ratio for the encounter that my situational awareness shuts down and people become invisible. Honest.

I've has people blank me on occassion also for probably broadly the same reasons. The thing is not to take it to heart unless it's clearly intended and they despise you! In which case you have special dispensation to insult them, politely of course.

 

[HowlOwl]

On occassion I've been accused of being "ignorant" in relation to "blanking" people. The truth is in my case it's poor eye sight, shyness and pure social awkwardness when this happens 9 times out of 10. I'm probably so busy computing the required manners/etiquette ratio for the encounter that my situational awareness shuts down and people become invisible. Honest.

I've has people blank me on occassion also for probably broadly the same reasons. The thing is not to take it to heart unless it's clearly intended and they despise you! In which case you have special dispensation to insult them, politely of course.

I had a student on a different course at college, buy me some lovely expensive perfume to say thanks for some typing I did for her. But every time I saw her after that, I sort of blanked her! - in the same way you describe. Bet she thought I hated the perfume! - but I feel bad about it now.

 

[Kaylon8083]

Recently I’ve noticed on public transport and in cafes, a lot of people watching stuff on their phones without headphones. It’s so selfish. I don’t want to hear what they’re watching.

I’ve also told someone to step back as they were too close behind me while I typed in my pin.

Someone once tried to put their basket down at the self service till I was using while I was waiting for my receipt. I just stopped what I was doing and didn’t stop until she backed off.

 

[Lalla]

Office teams calls is one that really grates on me.
Pre Covid we never had teams calls, it was phone conference calls or face to face meetings.
Nothing against Teams calls per se, when WFH they're great but it's when people conduct them at full volume in the middle of a busy office that it really annoys me. Book a meeting room or just, speak more quietly? It's always men as well and they're always pontificating about something like they're the world expert. Twats.

 

[Gloria Rostron]

Loud talkers on their mobile phones in confined spaces really grinds my gears.

 

[Zulkraa]

What is with people that possess 0 manners who put their arm across your face to get their product off the shelf?! Very few people seem to know how to say “Excuse me” these days. They can’t manage to wait a second for me to get my item and move out of the way. There are times I will say something, but most of the time I just roll my eyes!

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Office teams calls is one that really grates on me.
Pre Covid we never had teams calls, it was phone conference calls or face to face meetings.
Nothing against Teams calls per se, when WFH they're great but it's when people conduct them at full volume in the middle of a busy office that it really annoys me. Book a meeting room or just, speak more quietly? It's always men as well and they're always pontificating about something like they're the world expert. Twats.

Similar to this, when people call you on teams and have their camera on and expect you to put yours on. Pre teams it would have been a normal phone call with no image, I won’t put my camera on for a phone call.