When was the last time you cried and why?

[sittinginatincan]

Currently sat at emergency dentist! Had the most horrendous pain for the past week, I think my filling may have come out or has eroded completely as whenever I eat, drink even just sat doing nothing, I have the most horrific ache in my tooth right down to the nerve. Won't know until I'm with the dentist however I've been crying on and off, and abit scaredXx

 

[BonBon27]

Currently sat at emergency dentist! Had the most horrendous pain for the past week, I think my filling may have come out or has eroded completely as whenever I eat, drink even just sat doing nothing, I have the most horrific ache in my tooth right down to the nerve. Won't know until I'm with the dentist however I've been crying on and off, and abit scaredXx

Good luck! Hope your pain is eased soon x

 

[rainbowlemon]

I know this is stupid but I sent my friend flowers. The proof of delivery is not his front door and I'm just so disappointed.

It just feels like nothing goes right for me.

I know I just have to contact the flower company.

Currently sat at emergency dentist! Had the most horrendous pain for the past week, I think my filling may have come out or has eroded completely as whenever I eat, drink even just sat doing nothing, I have the most horrific ache in my tooth right down to the nerve. Won't know until I'm with the dentist however I've been crying on and off, and abit scaredXx

I hope your appointment well and the dentist helped relieve your pain.

 

[mozzarellagirl]

Spoiler: Weird behaviour 🥲

This is really weird but sometimes I’ll cuddle a pillow and imagine I’m cuddling my younger self because none ever knew when I was feeling low and really needed a hug.

This is not weird at all! it's actually a lovely inner child / inner work exercise that you've naturally just begun doing off your own back! It's really a lovely thing and it's not weird at all you are doing what you and your inner child need

Thank you.

Sadly there wasn't really anything before this that was bad about him to cling onto, aside from him being a bit of a pushover. But he's been weak and cowardly and he's only gone back to that poor girl for an easy life which is as much his character as anything. We were made for each other though, it's a shame and he's done this in the worst possible way.

Any man who is "made for you" would not abandon you out of nowhere and run off to an ex with 0 explaination. No doubt leaving you with a deep abandonment wound that will probably take a very long and very hard time to heal.

He's an absolute coward, with no integrity.

He stood in the kitchen and looked at me and said "you manipulative witch".

Enough. ENOUGH. If a man who was my boyfriend ever called be a witch he'd be bleeping dead.

If any man EVER spoke to me like this in any kind of way I'd be OUT and he'd be fucked.

You need to leave asap. This is NOT acceptable. You need to look within, find the strength and LEAVE. The longer you stay with him the worse it will get, you will waste your life and get to the point where emotional and verbal abuse is normal to you.

He does not love or respect you. He believes you are beneath him. This is NOT acceptable.

whilst he thought the solution was to go and load the Dishwasher (I think he thinks this is doing doing something “for me”)

Load the dishwasher (which you brought together) in the house (which is half HIS) with dishes HES also used FOR you... absolutely pathetic

________

This thread... I am honestly disgusted and endlessly tired by male behaviour.

 

[Magnolia4]

Today. My grandparents are not doing well (healthwise, and both of them simultaneously) and it’s just tough seeing them like this.

I live abroad and Xmas has been tough, even more than usual this year, plus I have a 5mo baby whom they haven’t met yet so that makes it extra hard - planning to visit home soon though.

And then what’s driving me crazy is that whenever I share this with someone, the answer is always some form of “How old are them? Oh, 90 already? Ah well they’re already pretty old anyway…”.
Huh yes, and? it should hurt less then? make it any easier?! I find it so disrespectful, I mean of course they’ve fortunately had a long and happy life and at some point it will be time but it doesn’t make it less difficult?! I’d never say this to anyone, find it such an odd, heartless and insensitive reaction. Just makes me feel even more alone in this situation

 

[mee43]

Today. My grandparents are not doing well (healthwise, and both of them simultaneously) and it’s just tough seeing them like this.

I live abroad and Xmas has been tough, even more than usual this year, plus I have a 5mo baby whom they haven’t met yet so that makes it extra hard - planning to visit home soon though.

And then what’s driving me crazy is that whenever I share this with someone, the answer is always some form of “How old are them? Oh, 90 already? Ah well they’re already pretty old anyway…”.
Huh yes, and? it should hurt less then? make it any easier?! I find it so disrespectful, I mean of course they’ve fortunately had a long and happy life and at some point it will be time but it doesn’t make it less difficult?! I’d never say this to anyone, find it such an odd, heartless and insensitive reaction. Just makes me feel even more alone in this situation

I’m so sorry. Time is such a cruel thief.
And I know exactly what you mean about the way people react when an older person gets ill. Absolutely ridiculous to presume it would hurt any less because they’ve “had a good innings”
I hope your lovely baby brings you some comfort.

 

[Sharkfan]

This is not weird at all! it's actually a lovely inner child / inner work exercise that you've naturally just begun doing off your own back! It's really a lovely thing and it's not weird at all you are doing what you and your inner child need

Thank you and @Purrrrrrr. I never thought of it like that, thanks for helping me understand .

 

[rainbowlemon]

Thank you and @Purrrrrrr. I never thought of it like that, thanks for helping me understand .

Also have a look at the therapist John Bradshaws work. It's old but he has a really good series called Homecoming on youtube about inner child work.

I have his book healing the shame that binds you- it's available on amazon too.

The holistic psychologist was recommended to me as well by a friend.



I'm not an expert but if you have any questions please ask.

 

[MuzzandI]

Christmas Day morning when I was doing the lunch prep. A song came on the radio that my mum used to sing to me when she was walking me to primary school. I totally lost it

I am not usually a crying type. My mum died 21 years ago. I still miss her kindness and wisdom every single day. And now I've set myself off again!

 

[candyland_]

Sobbed in my kitchen earlier. I just want to be happy.

 

[nothanksbabes]

After my tit sandwich of a couple of months, losing the love of my life, parents in hospital, dad has dementia, I now have to have an urgent gynae appointment after a few years of abnormal smears/biopsies. Yet another thing to deal with alone while my friends have lives and families. Just put me out of my misery.

 

[Wolfshead]

This is not weird at all! it's actually a lovely inner child / inner work exercise that you've naturally just begun doing off your own back! It's really a lovely thing and it's not weird at all you are doing what you and your inner child need



Any man who is "made for you" would not abandon you out of nowhere and run off to an ex with 0 explaination. No doubt leaving you with a deep abandonment wound that will probably take a very long and very hard time to heal.

He's an absolute coward, with no integrity.



Enough. ENOUGH. If a man who was my boyfriend ever called be a witch he'd be bleeping dead.

If any man EVER spoke to me like this in any kind of way I'd be OUT and he'd be fucked.

You need to leave asap. This is NOT acceptable. You need to look within, find the strength and LEAVE. The longer you stay with him the worse it will get, you will waste your life and get to the point where emotional and verbal abuse is normal to you.

He does not love or respect you. He believes you are beneath him. This is NOT acceptable.



Load the dishwasher (which you brought together) in the house (which is half HIS) with dishes HES also used FOR you... absolutely pathetic

________

This thread... I am honestly disgusted and endlessly tired by male behaviour.

I totally agree with you. However, they can only treat us badly if we allow them to. I say this as someone who has survived an extremely abusive relationship and know how difficult it can be to leave (people who haven't been through it tend not to understand the psychological aspects of abuse). I think my "last straw" was when he told me I was his "n***er".

 

[mozzarellagirl]

I totally agree with you. However, they can only treat us badly if we allow them to. I say this as someone who has survived an extremely abusive relationship and know how difficult it can be to leave (people who haven't been through it tend not to understand the psychological aspects of abuse). I think my "last straw" was when he told me I was his "n***er".

No I completely agree with you. I didn't say "leave" with flippancy, I'm sorry if it came across that way. It's a deeply complex thing. I watched my mum take years to leave my dad even though she worked out very quickly she needed to end it.

I'm sorry he said that to you. No wonder it was your last straw, that's horrific. I hope you are happy now!

 

[TheGlossy]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I woke up annoyed and suddenly starting crying at 10am in front of my laptop.

Right before the holidays, I moved into a new role which was an upwards move from my previous role, but for some reason today I felt a huge void inside that I could not understand.

It also doesn’t help that my previous job ran my health to the ground and by the time I moved into the new role, my health had declined significantly. I’ve been sick for the last 3 weeks. I also am constantly cold regardless of whether I’m sick or not and even when the heat is on full blast. It’s horrible, I sit in front of my laptop freezing to the point where my ribs hurt so much from all the shaking. My lips are constantly blue. I really do not know what it is. I eat fish, fruits and vegetables all the time. I’m so frozen that I can’t concentrate on my work. I always had to have a glass of hot water (disgusting I know) that I drink through the day. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it makes me so sad to the point where I had enough today and cried.

 

[nothanksbabes]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I woke up annoyed and suddenly starting crying at 10am in front of my laptop.

Right before the holidays, I moved into a new role which was an upwards move from my previous role, but for some reason today I felt a huge void inside that I could not understand.

It also doesn’t help that my previous job ran my health to the ground and by the time I moved into the new role, my health had declined significantly. I’ve been sick for the last 3 weeks. I also am constantly cold regardless of whether I’m sick or not and even when the heat is on full blast. It’s horrible, I sit in front of my laptop freezing to the point where my ribs hurt so much from all the shaking. My lips are constantly blue. I really do not know what it is. I eat fish, fruits and vegetables all the time. I’m so frozen that I can’t concentrate on my work. I always had to have a glass of hot water (disgusting I know) that I drink through the day. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it makes me so sad to the point where I had enough today and cried.

Could you be iron deficient/anaemic? Lots of symptoms but being cold is one of them.

 

[whoareyouu]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I woke up annoyed and suddenly starting crying at 10am in front of my laptop.

Right before the holidays, I moved into a new role which was an upwards move from my previous role, but for some reason today I felt a huge void inside that I could not understand.

It also doesn’t help that my previous job ran my health to the ground and by the time I moved into the new role, my health had declined significantly. I’ve been sick for the last 3 weeks. I also am constantly cold regardless of whether I’m sick or not and even when the heat is on full blast. It’s horrible, I sit in front of my laptop freezing to the point where my ribs hurt so much from all the shaking. My lips are constantly blue. I really do not know what it is. I eat fish, fruits and vegetables all the time. I’m so frozen that I can’t concentrate on my work. I always had to have a glass of hot water (disgusting I know) that I drink through the day. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it makes me so sad to the point where I had enough today and cried.

Please speak to your doctor. Hopefully it’s just a deficiency but please don’t allow yourself to suffer. X

 

[TheGlossy]

Could you be iron deficient/anaemic? Lots of symptoms but being cold is one of them.

Thank you. It could be it indeed. I’ve not been formally diagnosed as anemic but it might be the issue. I used to take iron supplements which worked like a charm to counter the cold sensation and the fatigue, but they stopped working a few months ago. They actually made me feel worse so I stopped taking them after 4 years.

Please speak to your doctor. Hopefully it’s just a deficiency but please don’t allow yourself to suffer. X

Thank you. I will. It’s getting a bit severe now, so I will need to see one. I had three layers of clothes on today + heating on and I was freezing.

I’ve been self conscious about going to the doctor about this because I don’t want them to think “It’s winter and this patient is asked for a consultation because she’s cold?”. But ultimately, I’m suffering, so I need to have this checked. I also have a lump in my neck that’s been there for about 2/3 months, it’s probably glands, nothing to be worried about, but it could be related. I might as well have both checked.

 

[Wolfshead]

No I completely agree with you. I didn't say "leave" with flippancy, I'm sorry if it came across that way. It's a deeply complex thing. I watched my mum take years to leave my dad even though she worked out very quickly she needed to end it.

I'm sorry he said that to you. No wonder it was your last straw, that's horrific. I hope you are happy now!

Please don't misunderstand me; I never thought you were being flippant. It didn't come across that way at all. As you say, it's a deeply complex situation to be in and it's all very well for people who DO say "Just leave him", but they don't know the whole story.

Thank you for your kind words and yes, I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life so there CAN be a happy ending. I just think it would be helpful if we stopped telling little girls fairy stories, but that's a topic for another thread.

 

[Sabbie]

I’ve been self conscious about going to the doctor about this because I don’t want them to think “It’s winter and this patient is asked for a consultation because she’s cold?”. But ultimately, I’m suffering, so I need to have this checked. I also have a lump in my neck that’s been there for about 2/3 months, it’s probably glands, nothing to be worried about, but it could be related. I might as well have both checked.

Please ask to get a full panel on your thyroid levels too. The cold and the lump in the neck could also be thyroid and/or autoimmune issues which are incredibly difficult to pin down. Good luck.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

He has lots of baggage (abusive ex wife who threatens suicide when she doesn't get her way and drags their kids into it, and has badmouthed me to the kids) and is really non-confrontational. He had another ex girlfriend before me who he wasn't happy with but I found out today he's gone back to her. Everyone's pretty shocked and horrified and his friends who thought he was a solid, nice guy are furious and baffled because we had a great relationship and they tell me he was really unhappy before. She lives nearer to him and knows his kids and won't push back against his crackpot ex wife though so I guess it's just easier. I'm no longer worth the effort.

He was with this ex girlfriend when he met me, it fizzled out and he finished with her to pursue me. I assume she doesn't know this, or if she does she doesn't have much self respect.

I've left relationships before and been hurt or whatever but there's always been a silver lining. This has absolutely ended me. He also did this to me in three WhatsApp messages and didn't really tell me - I found out properly when he'd changed his Facebook relationship status! Prior to this he was 10/10 green flags, the perfect boyfriend. The cognitive dissonance is bleeping painful. I just feel like this is my fault somehow even though he's a coward.

Gosh this made me well up. This could have been me writing this exactly a year ago. I hope I can help by saying that I barely think of him now - and there was a time I thought I’d love him forever. I know the pain you’re describing and even down to many of the specifics you mentioned. It’s brutal, but he’s weak and that kind of person is only ever going to cause trouble in whoever’s life he’s in. I hope it reassures you to know that now I don’t even care if he’s with someone else. And that once seemed impossible!

My life has improved a lot since it happened to me (two key things were finally medicating my low mood and getting a new job which I worked incredibly hard for and which now gives me a real sense of pride that I realise I majorly lacked before, which was one reason I put him on a pedestal.) I know you will be able to do great things this year, but don’t push yourself too hard - be nice to yourself and know that it takes time. Read all the breakup books, cry it out and take refuge on the sofa with a duvet.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s unfair. It’s confusing and hurts so bleeping much doesn’t it! Sending lots of hugs.

After my tit sandwich of a couple of months, losing the love of my life, parents in hospital, dad has dementia, I now have to have an urgent gynae appointment after a few years of abnormal smears/biopsies. Yet another thing to deal with alone while my friends have lives and families. Just put me out of my misery.

OK reading ahead a bit, had to also respond to this - I swear we’re the same person! I had this right at the start of covid at the same time I lost my freelancing contract, my dad had cancer and all my friends were of course happily married and popping out babies. I was terrified I’d get ill because I wouldn’t be able to have more tests due to all the lockdowns. Then my car got hit while parked and that costs me hundreds. Just grim, all of it. But again, same as I said above, while I acknowledge that time was horrible, it’s also now very much in my past and I know that one day it’ll be in your past too.