What’s annoying you right now? #7

[Littleelf]

I’m a bridesmaid in December, days before Christmas Day. The costs have added up more and more as the wedding has got closer. Got told today we are paying for our dresses, this was never previously agreed and bride implied she was paying. Nightmare as very expensive for this month! Now I’m worried that on the day we will be expected to pay for our make up etc and I just can’t budget for it

Got to just do it for the dress, but have spent so much already there are 10 of us, so I don’t want to be the one who questions it!

This is why I refuse to participate in weddings I've been an bridesmaid as an adult twice and it was such a nightmare I will never ever do it again.

Who has 10 bridesmaids anyway? That's crazy

 

[April89]

First of all, 10 bridesmaids is insane. Second, having to pay for your own dress sucks, especially to have that dropped on you at the last minute. I hope you get an amazing bridesmaid gift as a thank you!

I know it’s madness trying to organise us all! Thank you, I can’t wait for it to be over now!

This is why I refuse to participate in weddings I've been an bridesmaid as an adult twice and it was such a nightmare I will never ever do it again.

Who has 10 bridesmaids anyway? That's crazy

I wish I’d said I wouldn’t do it!

 

[They See Me Trolling...]

I’m a bridesmaid in December, days before Christmas Day. The costs have added up more and more as the wedding has got closer. Got told today we are paying for our dresses, this was never previously agreed and bride implied she was paying. Nightmare as very expensive for this month! Now I’m worried that on the day we will be expected to pay for our make up etc and I just can’t budget for it

Got to just do it for the dress, but have spent so much already there are 10 of us, so I don’t want to be the one who questions it!

Perhaps message the other bridesmaids and ask? They are all likely thinking the same.

 

[April89]

Perhaps message the other bridesmaids and ask? They are all likely thinking the same.

I really want to!

 

[Captainmouse]

I really want to!

You mean you don’t have a WhatsApp group?

 

[They See Me Trolling...]

I really want to!

Just do it. There will be a few of you at least in the same boat. Any unexpected bill this close to Christmas is difficult for anyone.

 

[April89]

You mean you don’t have a WhatsApp group?

Yes, that’s where we got the message about paying for the dresses. No one expressed concerns about it, it just went very quiet, so I want to say something, not sure how it will go down…

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I’m a bridesmaid in December, days before Christmas Day. The costs have added up more and more as the wedding has got closer. Got told today we are paying for our dresses, this was never previously agreed and bride implied she was paying. Nightmare as very expensive for this month! Now I’m worried that on the day we will be expected to pay for our make up etc and I just can’t budget for it

Got to just do it for the dress, but have spent so much already there are 10 of us, so I don’t want to be the one who questions it!

Sorry for the stress this is causing you. I personally would pull out. No friend/family member in the world would put people they care about through this much stress in an already very stressful time.

 

[Sheabutter]

I know it’s madness trying to organise us all! Thank you, I can’t wait for it to be over now!



I wish I’d said I wouldn’t do it!

You can still back out!

 

[They See Me Trolling...]

Yes, that’s where we got the message about paying for the dresses. No one expressed concerns about it, it just went very quiet, so I want to say something, not sure how it will go down…

Yeah they will be thinking the same as you - send a message to all the bridesmaids away from the bride. Trust me, the rest will be thinking the same.
I have learned this year that worrying about mentioning money makes things a huge thing and it really isn’t. I’ve been more open about my money struggles with people lately and it’s a lot easier than you think, once you say others get it and are understanding

 

[Hastaggifted]

Yes, that’s where we got the message about paying for the dresses. No one expressed concerns about it, it just went very quiet, so I want to say something, not sure how it will go down…

I would send a message to the group with the bride in and say I'm really sorry, I didn't realise we had to pay for our own dresses. I'm not in a situation to be able to afford it, especially this close to Christmas. If you no longer want me to be a bridesmaid because of this I completely understand blah blah blah. I just think if you go off to the bridesmaid's and say it one of them could go back to the bride and then makes you look sneaky.

If she's a true friend she will understand

 

[April89]

Thanks everyone for advice, will take tonight to think then make some decisions in the morning

 

[Princess of Scots]

The way my body looks

 

[JOHN1967]

Thanks everyone for advice, will take tonight to think then make some decisions in the morning

Insomnia is great, I am here. Now back to your situation. As everyone has said, I am sure the other bridesmaids feel the same. Unfortunately they are waiting for someone to say something and make a scapegoat.


This has happened to me many times, obviously not the bridesmaids thing, I have said something in public which most of us had discussed in private then they turn around and say that they don't mind.

Can you pull out with some excuse before you are forced to spend money, that you are going to resent spending.

 

[April89]

Insomnia is great, I am here. Now back to your situation. As everyone has said, I am sure the other bridesmaids feel the same. Unfortunately they are waiting for someone to say something and make a scapegoat.


This has happened to me many times, obviously not the bridesmaids thing, I have said something in public which most of us had discussed in private then they turn around and say that they don't mind.

Can you pull out with some excuse before you are forced to spend money, that you are going to resent spending.

I know exactly you mean, if I say something the others might say they are OK with it!

I feel like I want to pull out, but I will have to pay anyway, because the dress has been made for me and is ready at the shop. Found out each bridesmaid has to pick up, and pay. If I don't pick it up the shop will still need paying.

 

[JOHN1967]

I know exactly you mean, if I say something the others might say they are OK with it!

I feel like I want to pull out, but I will have to pay anyway, because the dress has been made for me and is ready at the shop. Found out each bridesmaid has to pick up, and pay. If I don't pick it up the shop will still need paying.

That really is unfair, they should have made it clear beforehand. Unfortunately now whatever happens you won't enjoy the day as much as you should, as you are stuck with all this unnecessary expense.

 

[under the ivy]

Can’t sleep

 

[Purrrrrrr]

The way my body looks

Awww My lovely. I so wish you could have my advantage of seeing yourself through your older eyes. I now look the mess I always thought I looked ( I actually didn't) and I don't give a duck. body image ruined so much of my younger life I would never take my children swimming etc due to my body or how I thought it looked. I have taught 3 of my grandchildren to swim and don't give a hoot what I look like.. I bet you look nothing like you believe you do.

 

[Kim Mild]

I know exactly you mean, if I say something the others might say they are OK with it!

I feel like I want to pull out, but I will have to pay anyway, because the dress has been made for me and is ready at the shop. Found out each bridesmaid has to pick up, and pay. If I don't pick it up the shop will still need paying.

You could go your own hair and make up and cancel that so you don't have to pay for that.

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I know exactly you mean, if I say something the others might say they are OK with it!

I feel like I want to pull out, but I will have to pay anyway, because the dress has been made for me and is ready at the shop. Found out each bridesmaid has to pick up, and pay. If I don't pick it up the shop will still need paying.

But surely you should have been told this before everything was arranged. How can people just change what is agreed on and then expect everyone to just be happy?