@Littleelf Happy Birthday 
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Happy 30th Birthday! Sorry to hear you're having such a rubbish day, I hope it gets betterThat its my 30th birthday today and nobody has messaged me a happy birthday except for my mumfeel very unloved today. Just goes to show what great friends I have doesn't it!!! Even my closest friends who ive know so for many years haven't bothered.
To top if off im spending all afternoon sat in hospital for a couple of appointments on my own
I paid a lot for a duvet cover because it is supposed to be amazingly soft. It is very rough and stiff - not at all like the ad description. I reached out to the company and they recommended I wash it using vinegar and baking soda and then wash it again with a mild detergent. I don’t own my own washer and dryer unit 
I've got some flooooofy things (duvet cover, jacket, slippers, that teddy bear bedding) and I also have an ASD family member who has to have things "feeling" a certain way or it disrupts them...... so I've discovered, if you do not ever ever use conditioner, but do use around half the washing powder (never use liquid washing stuff, always powder) they come out fluffy and snuggle as bunniesI paid a lot for a duvet cover because it is supposed to be amazingly soft. It is very rough and stiff - not at all like the ad description. I reached out to the company and they recommended I wash it using vinegar and baking soda and then wash it again with a mild detergent. I don’t own my own washer and dryer unit
Happy 30th Birthday
@LittleelfHappy birthday lovely. Hopefully they did come good in the endThat its my 30th birthday today and nobody has messaged me a happy birthday except for my mum
To top if off im spending all afternoon sat in hospital for a couple of appointments on my own
Ooh, interesting. I’ve always, always used liquid. What brands do you like most?I've got some flooooofy things (duvet cover, jacket, slippers, that teddy bear bedding) and I also have an ASD family member who has to have things "feeling" a certain way or it disrupts them...... so I've discovered, if you do not ever ever use conditioner, but do use around half the washing powder (never use liquid washing stuff, always powder) they come out fluffy and snuggle as bunnies
Happy 30th Birthday
By the way, this reminded me - one year, I got so mad at my siblings for not wishing me a happy birthday first thing in the morning. It was 1pm and no one had wished me a happy birthday. I started getting upset and told them they were being rude and insensitive on my birthday (lol). Turns out they were preparing a kid gesture for me in the background and had to tell me about it prematurely because I made a scene. I felt really stupid in the moment.Happy 30th birthday!
For what's worth, it's probably best to receive genuine birthday wishes than random ones from people who are just sending wishes for the sake of it. You never know, the day is not over yet! Perhaps you'll get some nice gestures towards the end of the day!
Perhaps it's the case for you too. In any case, hope you get to treat yourself a bit, you deserve it!
Loose connection on my charger and can't charge my phone. I'm having to fiddle about with it for ages until it connects 
I have those magnetic chargers they are a godsend, so much easier for me and the kidsLoose connection on my charger and can't charge my phone. I'm having to fiddle about with it for ages until it connects
Oh really. I have not heard of them. I'll check that out right now. Thanks
all time fav (oddly) is aldi almat bio
(again, only a smaller amount)I've also used Persil bio and Ariel bio, oh and a waitrose essential one which has a baby grow on a washing line (can't recall the actual name).
All of those worked brill (the aldi smells lovely and the scent lasts for weeks).
Oh no, I live in the US and we don’t have any of these brandsall time fav (oddly) is aldi almat bio
I've also used Persil bio and Ariel bio, oh and a waitrose essential one which has a baby grow on a washing line (can't recall the actual name).
All of those worked brill (the aldi smells lovely and the scent lasts for weeks).
I’m happy to learn that it’s not just some rare product though. I’ll start experimenting.I bet you have really wonderful stuff in the US too, yes try a few things to see which works best for you (scent wise and allergy wise).Oh no, I live in the US and we don’t have any of these brands
Defo look for powder not liquid (it's a bit like putting a shoe lace into cooking oil, then washing it off, after a while, you'd get a build up that didn't go completely). I use half the scoop for my fluffy items and never use the tumble dryer (even on low) as many fluffy things are recycled from plastic, so they melt or leave crunchy bits ........
**at this point, I can neither confirm, nor deny, a stunt double may have been called in to replace said item that smelt of burnt plastic and had large melted blobs
**Thanks all for the birthday wishes, my partner cooked tea and gave me the night off bath and bedtime which was nice and my daughter made me a birthday card at school.
Still no word from any so called friends though, I suppose thats just the way it goes when you get older. I've noticed that you really don't have as many close friends the older you get. Especially when people settle down and have families of there own.
But oh well I'm happy with my family I know I'm loved by them so thats all that matters isn't it
Still no word from any so called friends though, I suppose thats just the way it goes when you get older. I've noticed that you really don't have as many close friends the older you get. Especially when people settle down and have families of there own.
But oh well I'm happy with my family I know I'm loved by them so thats all that matters isn't it
You are absolutely loved by those you love @Littleelf . I hope your birthday has been nice.
I've noticed a drop in friends as I've aged. I can't say I really have a go-to person now besides my husband.
Sending love
I've noticed a drop in friends as I've aged. I can't say I really have a go-to person now besides my husband.
Sending love
I feel like this at times too. I just want some peace.
I've had a really tit day. A variety of things but a particularly stressor was trying to speak to one of my son's teacher about putting something in place for regular communication between us and the school in terms of lateness and homework ability.
He was late today because he had meltdown (he's autistic) before school. I wanted to put something in place to ensure he's not getting into trouble for something he can't help. The teacher's response was "well I'm confused because he seemed totally calm when he came to see me in the common room".
Errrr yeah, he'd calmed down by the time he got to school and his adhd medication would have kicked in by then! Twice this pillock of a person told me they were confused. They are supposed to be SEN trained?! I can feel the rage even typing this. They haven't even read his transfer records from his Primary school yet.
He's been in floods of tears trying to complete his homework tonight. He can't work independently at all, I'm literally having to sit with him helping and prompting him step by step. Unfortunately I can't do this every day because of the hours I work.
I feel like I'm drowning. There's just too much to do and I'm struggling to keep all the plates spinning.
Sorry to hijack your post in my reply. I feel a bit better getting it out though.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
I'm annoyed because 10 years ago, I was going through what @TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo has mentioned above and it hasn't got better for others in that time
What do I wish I could tell my younger self? Don't rely on SEN teachers/TA's because they can and do get war weary and lose some of their compassion, care and understanding as years go on. Find a teacher/TA that your child magnetizes naturally towards and ask if they can be their support on difficult days/melt downs.
Ask for a laminated set of cards (keep them small like a bank card) which say things like "I need to leave class right now", " I am feeling overwhelmed and need a moment of your time privately" and so on. My children's school made these and spoke to all staff about what to do when this was shown.
Ask for one person on a direct email/phone that you can talk to regarding your child and explain that homework is overwhelming. The school can then either allow your child to have some support at school to do it with help, or at least go over it so they understand what is required,
Lastly, a huge hug for you (and any other parent/guardian/supporter reading this privately) this won't always be this way, keep supporting your child, let nobody put them down, ASD, Asperger's, Autistic folk are brilliant, not in standard (hate normal) ways, but in ways we don't always know or see straight away. When their wings finally unfold and they reach their full potential, you'll know every tear, every battle, every sleepless night was worth it (always share with someone, it helps to do that, never feel ashamed or that you can't) best wishes .
What do I wish I could tell my younger self? Don't rely on SEN teachers/TA's because they can and do get war weary and lose some of their compassion, care and understanding as years go on. Find a teacher/TA that your child magnetizes naturally towards and ask if they can be their support on difficult days/melt downs.
Ask for a laminated set of cards (keep them small like a bank card) which say things like "I need to leave class right now", " I am feeling overwhelmed and need a moment of your time privately" and so on. My children's school made these and spoke to all staff about what to do when this was shown.
Ask for one person on a direct email/phone that you can talk to regarding your child and explain that homework is overwhelming. The school can then either allow your child to have some support at school to do it with help, or at least go over it so they understand what is required,
Lastly, a huge hug for you (and any other parent/guardian/supporter reading this privately) this won't always be this way, keep supporting your child, let nobody put them down, ASD, Asperger's, Autistic folk are brilliant, not in standard (hate normal) ways, but in ways we don't always know or see straight away. When their wings finally unfold and they reach their full potential, you'll know every tear, every battle, every sleepless night was worth it
(always share with someone, it helps to do that, never feel ashamed or that you can't) best wishes .I’m in WhatsApp jail 
avoiding someone but they’re the type to keep checking if I’m online so I just can’t go on
avoiding someone but they’re the type to keep checking if I’m online so I just can’t go on Thank you so, so much. This is actually my second Rodeo in terms of getting an autistic child through secondary school but my eldest went to a different school and the SEN staff there were amazing. It was hard but the brilliant communication between us made it so much easier.I'm annoyed because 10 years ago, I was going through what @TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo has mentioned above and it hasn't got better for others in that time
What do I wish I could tell my younger self? Don't rely on SEN teachers/TA's because they can and do get war weary and lose some of their compassion, care and understanding as years go on. Find a teacher/TA that your child magnetizes naturally towards and ask if they can be their support on difficult days/melt downs.
Ask for a laminated set of cards (keep them small like a bank card) which say things like "I need to leave class right now", " I am feeling overwhelmed and need a moment of your time privately" and so on. My children's school made these and spoke to all staff about what to do when this was shown.
Ask for one person on a direct email/phone that you can talk to regarding your child and explain that homework is overwhelming. The school can then either allow your child to have some support at school to do it with help, or at least go over it so they understand what is required,
Lastly, a huge hug for you (and any other parent/guardian/supporter reading this privately) this won't always be this way, keep supporting your child, let nobody put them down, ASD, Asperger's, Autistic folk are brilliant, not in standard (hate normal) ways, but in ways we don't always know or see straight away. When their wings finally unfold and they reach their full potential, you'll know every tear, every battle, every sleepless night was worth it
I said today that I believe he needs an EHCP. She mentioned cards for timeout etc but said they like to wait until they've settled in and that they go into class and monitor them before they give them out. They are going to have a bloody great big shock when he has a full meltdown at school.
I think I'm going to have to put a parental application in for the EHCP. I'm building up to it because the amount of work it requires feels completely beyond me at the moment.
I've fought so hard for them both over the years. Endless letters, collated evidence, chasing appointments, gaining qualifications in autism and adolescent mental health so I can help them better etc but things are just so hard in terms of their behaviour difficulties (raging meltdown (younger one) and meltdown with self harm (older one) that on top of general life I'm drained.
It won't take much for him to disengage with education and I really don't want that to happen.
Someone else from the school is phoning me tomorrow so I'm going to make some notes of what I want to say as I didn't advocate very well earlier because I was just dumbfounded by the reaction.
Just to add to the stress my youngest has his autism assessment tomorrow and it's being done by video call (some new company ADOS assessments are being outsourced too) and I'm feeling quite apprehension about it.
Sorry to go on and thanks again for your advice!
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