What is the pettiest thing you've ever done?

[hol20x]

When I worked in retail I was a petty witch.

1. If a customer was rude to me on the tills I'd squish their delicate items like bread, chocolate bars etc. Or if they were really nasty I'd slightly open the lid on their washing up liquid so that it would leak all over their bags.

2. Someone came to my till for a 99p item first thing after we opened one morning and handed me a £50 note to pay with. I told him I didn't have the change in notes in my till as we had just opened (we were only allowed so many notes in the till for security reasons) and asked if he had something smaller to pay with. His hole girlfriend said no we don't, just give us our change, so I counted out £49 in pound coins and 50p's, got about halfway through when he decided he actually did have a smaller note to pay with!

3. When I was a supervisor one of my till staff asked a customer if they wanted a receipt, they said no, then when the transaction was finished they said they now did want the receipt. But to be able to go back and print it, the girl on the till needed me to authorise the process for her. The customer complained that the girl on the till was taking too long to call someone when I got there and told me "I suppose you're going to take ages too" really it's a quick process and would take me 5 seconds, but cos she was such a cow I took my time then pretended the till had frozen and it would need rebooted before I could print the receipt.

 

[PrincessCharming]

This is why you should always be pleasant to retail workers. I’ve done shop work and make sure I’m never a head customer. There are plenty of them though.

 

[watermelon sugar]

When I worked in a pub, NYE it was, some customer was absolutely sloshed and called me a slag because I didn’t serve him quick enough so the next day when he came in for round 2, he kept ordering strawberry rekordalig and asking me to pour it in a glass with ice, so I kept pouring and giving him the alcohol free one. He had about 8 and I knew every drink he was having and at about 5pm he was acting bladdered and giving it the biggun and I went over and said to his table he was showing off to ‘mad what a few alcohol free fruity ciders can do isn’t it’ and he called me a liar but I showed the receipt and all his mates took the piss out of him for pretending to be bladdered

 

[Gloria Rostron]

Years ago there was a problem with someone spitting on the floor of the mens loos. It had been going on for months, polite memos sent, sterner memos, warnings, staff meetings with all the male staff compelled to attend, threatening disciplinary action when the culprit was caight, etc etc. It got to the stage where the blokes were all looking at each other with suspicion. Eventually one colleague happened to nip into the loo as the culprit was in full action. Except he wasn't spitting...

Semen?

 

[NJH]

A few years back, I managed a woman who was an utter pain in the a*se.

After months of various issues with her attendance, attitude, behaviour and performance, I held a disciplinary meeting with her.

The relationship between us had really gone sour by this point, and she came into the meeting with the biggest attitude. She refused to answer my questions, and at one point even asked if this would take much longer as "she had things to do" I ended up closing the meeting, due to how difficult she was being.

Following these kind of cases, I would usually aim to give a decision by the next day, as I understand how stressful it can be. But I decided f*ck her, and waited to the last day I had and then sent her the decision. I'd given her a written warning. It was just before Christmas and it was also my last day in the role.. I also wished her Happy Christmas

This woman went on to be sacked a few months later, for something else she did. She really was a nightmare!

Ps - just remembered that when it came to the time of the disciplinary meeting, I shouted across the office what room she should meet me in. I purposely did this because she had been so awful (she used to speak to me like s*it). I knew it would draw attention to her, and people would guess (and likely already knew really.. you know what offices are like!) that she was in some sort of bother..

Yes. I am a petty cow!

 

[Ruby’s mum]

Semen?

Yup!

 

[Gloria Rostron]

An absolute turd of a co-worker always hogs the microwave in the communal work kitchen, so when they put their soup (eats the same thing every single day) in the microwave and leave the kitchen we like to turn the timer up or down so he ends up getting too hot/too cold soup. He is convinced the microwave is dodgy

What flavour soup is it?

 

[AnastaciaBeaverhousen]

Since reading these, I’ve been trying to remember petty things I’ve done.

I remember an irritating colleague (in a HMRC office of all places) used to pace up and down behind my seat whilst on the phone. Whilst on the phone he would speak so loudly that I’d always have to excuse him when taking my own calls. I got so sick of him one day, I pressed Ctrl+Alt+down arrow on his keyboard while he was out having a cigarette so that his screen interface was upside down. He hadn’t got a clue how to fix it and seemingly neither did anyone else. Watching him trying to turn his head to read the screen upside down entertained my sad little civil service life for rest of the afternoon.

I have a horrible habit of moving or hiding things when my husband puts them down. I don’t know why I get such glee from watching him question himself. He can be incredibly annoying sometimes so perhaps that’s why.

 

[Gidget00_]

Yup!

@Gloria Rostron I didn’t even check but I feel like you are the person who did a heart to this post you’re so funny

 

[rainbowlemon]

Since reading these, I’ve been trying to remember petty things I’ve done.

I remember an irritating colleague (in a HMRC office of all places) used to pace up and down behind my seat whilst on the phone. Whilst on the phone he would speak so loudly that I’d always have to excuse him when taking my own calls. I got so sick of him one day, I pressed Ctrl+Alt+down arrow on his keyboard while he was out having a cigarette so that his screen interface was upside down. He hadn’t got a clue how to fix it and seemingly neither did anyone else. Watching him trying to turn his head to read the screen upside down entertained my sad little civil service life for rest of the afternoon.

I have a horrible habit of moving or hiding things when my husband puts them down. I don’t know why I get such glee from watching him question himself. He can be incredibly annoying sometimes so perhaps that’s why.

The first one was brutal lol.

 

[hol20x]

When I left the house I had with my ex I changed the password on the Netflix account (that I paid for) immediately and pretty soon after he had the audacity to text me saying it wouldn't let him log in. I replied saying yeah that's cos I changed the password! I also took absolutely every single thing in the house that I had paid for with me, even down to bog roll, coat hangers and utensils.

 

[klarakluckbag]

I've never admitted this to anyone, but if you've ever watched the original version of the film "Bedazzled", you'll have seen Peter Cook scratching vinyl records and ripping out the last pages of books.

My ex-husband's favourite LP was Jeff Wayne's "War of the Worlds". When I found out that he'd been cheating, and we then split, I didn't want to deliberately scratch it, as I knew that he would know it was me, and I didn't want him thinking that I was bothered. Instead, I swapped the disc for Boney M's "Nightflight to Venus", and chucked the WotW disc over the garden fence and into the graveyard that backed onto our house. He had a cherished set of books by Tom Sharpe, including the entire "Wilt" series. None of those left my house with their last page intact!

 

[nancyxx]

My ex was the biggest tightarse on the planet. Lived with me rent free for a year, didn’t buy one grocery and on a much higher income than me. When breaking up, he said I could just post him his toothbrush. Cleaned the toilet with it and then posted it to him, without a stamp so he had to pay for it his end. For the €1 or whatever it was, so petty but actually my work colleagues made me do it!

 

[Extrafine]

I’d like to think we’ve all cleaned our toilets with an exs toothbrush

 

[PrincessCharming]

I’d like to think we’ve all cleaned our toilets with an exs toothbrush

Yup

He was soooooooo fussy about his toothbrush it had to be done. The cheating, porn addicted piece of tit.

 

[maharini]

Was this in North Devon somewhere? I only ask because there was one of those dedication/adoption sign things with the blub about the person at a zoo I went to and it seemed really oddly worded. Almost like it wasn't done favourably. Maybe you're not alone in your public expression of dislike though .

Not North Devon (there must be more monsters around than I thought!) - Kent. She was horrid though, and a larger lady, always popping across the road to the shop to replenish her drawer of goodies (never shared). We tortured youths used to fantasise about putting a Mars Bar on a string in front of the busy traffic and luring her out… As it was, we had a group outing to the zoo and had our photo taken with the hippos….

 

[Kate1970]

I work in a supermarket and if anyone is the slightest bit shirty with me when they ask if we have more stock out the back, I walk in the warehouse, scroll on my phone for bit, then come back out and tell them we don't have it. If even I know for a fact we do.

That's so bad...but so good

In one job, there was a woman I hated. Anyway, she was leaving and on her last day, I peeled her name off her pigeon hole and threw it in the bin. It was very satisfying.

Brutal

 

[pinkmug]

My coworker was getting on my nerves so I came in early once day and I switched my chair with his. Mine's back support part was dodgy and couldn't be adjusted. I'm enjoying my lumbar support now.

 

[maharini]

This reminds me of a story I heard on the radio about a guy who bought a new hat and left it on the coat rack at work. His colleagues bought one much smaller and one much bigger hat, identical, and swapped them round each week. The bloke was going bonkers and his colleagues eventually had the reward of him going to his doctor to tell him/her that his head was shrinking and growing over the weekend.

 

[mochibean]

My husband pissed me off so I changed the settings on his phone to Arabic. When I texted him he panicked like hell cos I told him he had to go to the police because ISIS had infiltrated his phone and were trying to radicalised him. The daft get believed every word he was sweating lol. Took me bleeping ages to get the settings back to English lol

This made me laugh so much. Brilliant!