Living with debilitating anxiety, I feel like almost everything scares me at this point... which I’ve never actually said before... If I had to use a blanket term to explain many of my fears though, I guess it revolves around death.
It doesn’t matter if it’s my own, my family’s, my partners, the fact that it’s the end of it all haunts me everyday.
Like this world has existed for millions of years before me, sure, but the fact that time just goes on? It terrifies me. I can’t really articulate it so I hope some others understand where I’m coming from. Like I’m dead and my family pass away and that’s just... it?... the eternal aspect of that just messes with me.
I asked my partner what he thought of it and he said along the lines of “well I don’t really mind, I have my life here, with my family and career and I love it.. when the time comes it just happens”
During this, I’m like “well that’s fine and dandy but what about the after. Those hundreds, thousands of years later, you’re just unaware?? But he told me he didn’t mind because everyone that surrounds him, are also only here for a certain amount of time.
I don’t know, this is a very long winded way to say that my greatest fear in life is not only death, but the extremely long period that follows it. The endless period of nothing. That’s absolutely terrifying.
Edits: please know my heart reacts are for support. I really do understand these fears and I truly wish you all the best when it comes to these.
About pets dying, omg I get it. I always told myself I’d never get a pet as I never wanted to become attached to one. I’d become really depressed and my partner and I thought having a pet would be an amazing confidence boost to me! And he is. My beautiful cat is almost 2 and he’s the absolute light of my life. But I still get terrified every day over losing him. If he’s ever sleeping beside me I always have to wrap my arm around him to ensure he’s breathing fine.
On the subject of Parkinson’s, I also relate. My grandfather had it and he was one of my best friends. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to put into words my feelings on that situation.
I honestly don't know how I'd be able to carry on if anything happened to my child.
