Unpopular Opinions #13

Moanyoldwoman · Jan 9, 2022

bubbadabut said:
I am in favour of gender selection. It used to really rile me how some people (usually always women who had a boy and a girl) would guilt-shame me for having a preference over what sex my 4th child would be, when I already had 3 of the same sex. In the end, my 4th was of the opposite sex, but I would definitely have had gender selection afterwards if not. I pay for all my kids myself, I don't even get Child Benefit, and it wasn't just me who yearned for a child of the opposite sex - it was my husband and children as well, so I would have had no problem paying to ensure our family was made complete. If the science makes it doable and you have the means to do it, bring it on.

I think having a gender preference is a completely normal feeling, especially when you already have multiple children of the same sex. It's just people's reactions to it that makes it feel like a dirty little taboo secret. Unpopular opinion

I agree. I had gender disappointment and was made to feel like a cunt. I had my two girls close together and they were both of the sex I didn’t want. I didn’t love them any less as I was overjoyed and filled with love with them but when I was pregnant I was disappointed to not getting what I wanted. I was not into girls at all and wanted boys ever since I wanted children. Funnily enough im so glad I got what I got and if I had another I would want another girl lol I have no desire now to have a son. So I’m now of the view that you get what you are supposed to get.

monga said:
If it was the 70's it might have been different but we're talking 10 yrs ago , those things were as emotive then as they are now .

So someone can’t grow or become a better person in ten years? I’m not saying she has or hasn’t, I don’t know her, but judging someone by their actions ten years earlier is a bit much in my unpopular opinion. It was an opinion. A single minded rude offensive opinion. Emotive yes. But who doesn’t get emotive about everything anyone says these days? I could get emotive about a lot on Twitter for example or this forum but for my own mental health I scroll on. Not everyone has the same views and it’s something to accept.

monga · Jan 9, 2022

Moanyoldwoman said:
I agree. I had gender disappointment and was made to feel like a cunt. I had my two girls close together and they were both of the sex I didn’t want. I didn’t love them any less as I was overjoyed and filled with love with them but when I was pregnant I was disappointed to not getting what I wanted. I was not into girls at all and wanted boys ever since I wanted children. Funnily enough im so glad I got what I got and if I had another I would want another girl lol I have no desire now to have a son. So I’m now of the view that you get what you are supposed to get.

So someone can’t grow or become a better person in ten years? I’m not saying she has or hasn’t, I don’t know her, but judging someone by their actions ten years earlier is a bit much in my unpopular opinion. It was an opinion. A single minded rude offensive opinion. Emotive yes. But who doesn’t get emotive about everything anyone says these days? I could get emotive about a lot on Twitter for example or this forum but for my own mental health I scroll on. Not everyone has the same views and it’s something to accept.

We may not have to accept it but I don't think it's good to dismiss things either ,like you say we don't know her so can't say if she's changed in that short time.

Melian · Jan 10, 2022

bubbadabut said:
I am in favour of gender selection. It used to really rile me how some people (usually always women who had a boy and a girl) would guilt-shame me for having a preference over what sex my 4th child would be, when I already had 3 of the same sex. In the end, my 4th was of the opposite sex, but I would definitely have had gender selection afterwards if not. I pay for all my kids myself, I don't even get Child Benefit, and it wasn't just me who yearned for a child of the opposite sex - it was my husband and children as well, so I would have had no problem paying to ensure our family was made complete. If the science makes it doable and you have the means to do it, bring it on.

I think having a gender preference is a completely normal feeling, especially when you already have multiple children of the same sex. It's just people's reactions to it that makes it feel like a dirty little taboo secret. Unpopular opinion

Shouldn't you be grateful you can have children? So many women would just love to have a child.

rosemarina · Jan 10, 2022

Oh come on now! Women are allowed to express complex feelings about having children without having to be grateful because other women are infertile. I never want to eat aubergine again if I can help it, but I guess I should instead remember that “there are kids starving in Africa!?!”

Pinkii · Jan 10, 2022

bananabutter said:
The expectation of trigger warnings around pregnancy announcements

I’m very sorry if you cannot conceive naturally, you have my every sympathy it must be difficult but you cannot expect everyone else to censor sharing their news to family members and friends online or expressing their joy on what is such a massive moment in life.

It’s arrogant in my opinion. Do we hide alcohol away in Tesco’s because alcoholics exist? Do we take the calories off food packets in case of those with eating disorders? No. Recognise that something is a sore subject for you and take steps to deal with it instead of expecting the whole world to accommodate you.

Wish I could Heart this more than once.

As soon as i see an influencer thread and they are pregnant you just know there will be people who will Be taking out their issues out on that thread.

God forbid if an influencer says they concieved quickly, you’ll have 10 people saying, it doesn’t work like that.. we’ve been trying for years.. I’m very sorry they are having issues and wouldn’t wish it on anyone but people can concieve quickly, also people have a right to be happy or moan about being parents.

Someone elses happiness doesn’t take away from you.

i’ve had ALOT of shitty things happen in my life where i’ve just wondered what i have done in my previous life to deserve to go through all this, but one good thing i’ve had is being able to concieve quickly and have 2 gorgeous healthy babies and I won’t be made to feel
Bad about that.

wordzalad · Jan 10, 2022

I’ve seen a lot of people say prisons should be abolished and i disagree. Maybe for first time, non violent crimes there should be options like house arrest or reform centres but for rapist, paedos, murderers, abusers…they should be in a prison

Brigitjonesbuttcheek · Jan 10, 2022

rosemarina said:
Oh come on now! Women are allowed to express complex feelings about having children without having to be grateful because other women are infertile. I never want to eat aubergine again if I can help it, but I guess I should instead remember that “there are kids starving in Africa!?!”

I agree, i hate that attitude of you can't he upset about something because someone is worse off that you. Other people being worse off doesn't make it any easier to deal with your own hurt/disappointment/issues.

I read a quote that was like - if you lose a leg you're allowed to be as upset as you feel, someone else losing two does not take anything away from your situation.

But, with gender disappointment, it's such a superficial thing to most people. Having a girl or a boy doesn't guarantee a bond, interests or personality. Of course you're allowed to feel unhappy that you didn't get the gender you wanted, but at the end of the day you get what you get. And sometimes it might help to get a bit of perspective and realise that you have a healthy child who's an individual not defined by their sex. There are much worse things than not getting the sex you wanted.

mcfeez · Jan 10, 2022

wordzalad said:
I’ve seen a lot of people say prisons should be abolished and i disagree. Maybe for first time, non violent crimes there should be options like house arrest or reform centres but for rapist, paedos, murderers, abusers…they should be in a prison

Many people with strong opinions on prisons could be US based. Their prison system is crazily corrupt; privately owned prisons which the state have essentially promised minimum occupancies of. It incentivises putting people away - most of the time this is around the sort of things you've named i.e. minor drug offences etc should not get prison time but of course rape, murder there should absolutely be hefty sentences.

mRsKbRoOkS · Jan 10, 2022

UPO - coffee is awful. It’s another one where I believe people only drink it to be pretentious. Going to places like Costa and Starbucks for the gram! It taste like shit, fair enough drink it to stay awake, but I struggle to be believe anyone actually like the stuff! We are British have a cuppa Tea and biscuit or fuck off

Edited to add - I feel the same way about the gin trend

Begborrowsteal · Jan 10, 2022

Melian said:
Shouldn't you be grateful you can have children? So many women would just love to have a child.

Their plight doesn't negate other womens feelings.

Brigitjonesbuttcheek · Jan 10, 2022

Pinkii said:
Wish I could Heart this more than once.

As soon as i see an influencer thread and they are pregnant you just know there will be people who will Be taking out their issues out on that thread.

God forbid if an influencer says they concieved quickly, you’ll have 10 people saying, it doesn’t work like that.. we’ve been trying for years.. I’m very sorry they are having issues and wouldn’t wish it on anyone but people can concieve quickly, also people have a right to be happy or moan about being parents.

Someone elses happiness doesn’t take away from you.

i’ve had ALOT of shitty things happen in my life where i’ve just wondered what i have done in my previous life to deserve to go through all this, but one good thing i’ve had is being able to concieve quickly and have 2 gorgeous healthy babies and I won’t be made to feel
Bad about that.

I think a lot of people it for attention and on the internet, it probably isn't even true.

There was a thing on FB that said, if your baby was named after your cravings what would they be called. So just a bit if light hearted fun.
People were putting stuff like, I just wanted to be able to hold anything down, my baby was born in heaven, I couldn't have a baby.

Like not the time or the place. Stop trying to bring everyone down. People like that must be so depressing to be around.

Merpedy · Jan 10, 2022

wordzalad said:
I’ve seen a lot of people say prisons should be abolished and i disagree. Maybe for first time, non violent crimes there should be options like house arrest or reform centres but for rapist, paedos, murderers, abusers…they should be in a prison

I really really don’t understand why some people think that prisons are just free food and TV. The fact that tabloids like the Daily Mail can paddle such shit and get away with it… oof

Though honestly, a lot of the dislike around the Daily Mail and equivalents also seems very performative

Phil Anne Throw Pee · Jan 10, 2022

Gender selection is vile IMVHO but I respect people's honesty on here.

Begborrowsteal · Jan 10, 2022

Merpedy said:
I really really don’t understand why some people think that prisons are just free food and TV. The fact that tabloids like the Daily Mail can paddle such shit and get away with it… oof

Though honestly, a lot of the dislike around the Daily Mail and equivalents also seems very performative

I knew a few guys who went to prison and they all said it was an easy ride. One or two preferred prison to their outside life and kept returning, which is actually really sad.

Merpedy · Jan 10, 2022

Begborrowsteal said:
I knew a few guys who went to prison and they all said it was an easy ride. One or two preferred prison to their outside life and kept returning, which is actually really sad.

Easy ride for what reasons though?

From what I have read, prison sounds like a 'comfort zone' for a lot of people because it provides structure to their lives*. Actual rehabilitation (I think that's the term?) into society doesn't sound very successful or an actual aim
* plus getting a job with a prison sentence may not be as easy, and we depend on money for everything

VC10 · Jan 10, 2022

Most people are entitled and selfish and hypocritical.
Not all, but the majority....and a lot of them hide it behind all this ' #bekind ' shit online, and ' I've made charity donations' on d/debit etc.

mcfeez · Jan 10, 2022

People who post about donating to charity or talk about it out loud a lot make me cringe. When they ask very obvious questions that could easily be googled like what they should do with their old stuff, how to donate to a charity etc.

ggukxo · Jan 10, 2022

Begborrowsteal said:
I knew a few guys who went to prison and they all said it was an easy ride. One or two preferred prison to their outside life and kept returning, which is actually really sad.

I’ve heard the complete opposite. Prisons are absolutely horrible and the majority of prison guards are on a power trip. They purposely don’t give you warm clothes in winter, cancel visits etc just to make your life difficult.
I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially people who are in there when they’re innocent. I think a lot of the public don’t realise that the police plant/fake evidence to close their cases and get the win. Absolutely disgusting

HoGi · Jan 10, 2022

ggukxo said:
I’ve heard the complete opposite. Prisons are absolutely horrible and the majority of prison guards are on a power trip. They purposely don’t give you warm clothes in winter, cancel visits etc just to make your life difficult.
I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially people who are in there when they’re innocent. I think a lot of the public don’t realise that the police plant/fake evidence to close their cases and get the win. Absolutely disgusting

I read a bit of a stretch, which was written by a former prisoner (in for fraud) and that was quiet eye opening for me. Especially about some of the basic human rights that require 10 forms that then just get ignored.

ETA and a lot of inmates don't have the literacy skills to complete the forms in the first place.

Merpedy · Jan 10, 2022

HoGi said:
I read a bit of a stretch, which was written by a former prisoner (in for fraud) and that was quiet eye opening for me. Especially about some of the basic human rights that require 10 forms that then just get ignored.

ETA and a lot of inmates don't have the literacy skills to complete the forms in the first place.

The Secret Life of Prisons podcast is really good also

Unpopular Opinions #13

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