Lots of countries (if not most) don't want Ukraine to win, but they also don't want Ukraine to lose. A stalemate bogging things down probably does suit them.
This wouldn't entirely surprise me, though there's going to be some divergence on what they want, what they need, and what they end up with.
What we're seeing happen though is surely the combination of those as determined by what various governments decided were their least-worst option for action or assistance, tempered by how confident they felt in that game of chicken (who's going to run out of what, first) and trying to avoid Russia pointing any fingers directly at them instead of just the more general 'west'.
Interesting remark from NATO about joining, a reminder of (as I understand it) one of the conditions.
The war can only end with a negotiated settlement but that in itself covers a huge range of possibilities - that said, use of the word 'win' does to me suggest the intended result is for the entirety of Ukraine to be Ukrainian.