The founder of Hinge is a different Justin (Justin McLeod)
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The founder of Hinge is a different Justin (Justin McLeod)Only started listening to How To Fail recently and I think she needs to explain the concept better to her guests. Both Margaret Atwood and Bernie Sanders chose quite tenuous examples of their failures, like not getting picked for a sports team or something. And when Elizabeth said, 'Oh and how did that affect you and make you feel more determined?' they said 'oh it didn't , I was fine, it's just the earliest example of failing that I could think of'. Like they were being a bit too literal and not understanding we want EMOTION and DRAMA! 
Well that was an enjoyable read! Just caught up on both threads - have been looking for an outlet for my loathing of ED. The recent Times infertility article did my head in! So much smugness and hypocrisy.
also here for the general literary chat… as an aside, I follow Simon prosser on twitter - often get my book reccs from him. He seems to promote quite a wide array of (talented, diverse) authors
also here for the general literary chat… as an aside, I follow Simon prosser on twitter - often get my book reccs from him. He seems to promote quite a wide array of (talented, diverse) authors
I enjoyed this response to Elizabeth Day’s article on fertility privilege:
www.theguardian.com
Strongly agree with these comments too;
Emotions around infertility can be raw. Let’s talk about them with solidarity | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
It’s important to acknowledge ‘fertility privilege’, but let’s not dismiss those whose privilege has been hard won, says Guardian columnist Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
www.theguardian.com
Strongly agree with these comments too;
Does anyone have a non paywall link to the ED times article? 
Here you go:Does anyone have a non paywall link to the ED times article?
My fertility sadness — and what not to say to a childless woman
archived 19 Mar 2023 08:50:22 UTC
Thank you for the link! My word that was a slog. It’s a shame because understanding and being more empathetic to people having fertility problems is a really important topic. But she is not the best person to be writing about it. It’s all so self absorbed and wilfully ignorant (”omg how can parenting be both really hard, but also great?!”).Here you go:
My fertility sadness — and what not to say to a childless woman
archived 19 Mar 2023 08:50:22 UTCarchive.is
The tone of the whole article comes across like one of those deliberately provocative DM columns.
hey can I ask how you’re able to get the articles? I only have my one free a weekHere you go:
My fertility sadness — and what not to say to a childless woman
archived 19 Mar 2023 08:50:22 UTC
There’s a website that archives internet pages, not sure if I’ll get in trouble for posting the link here or not but: https://archive.is/hey can I ask how you’re able to get the articles? I only have my one free a week
Thank youHere you go:
My fertility sadness — and what not to say to a childless woman
archived 19 Mar 2023 08:50:22 UTC
So given her age, no one in her friendship group had any fertility problems? She doesn't know any gay couples or solo parents to be who automatically face fertility challenges? She didn't make any online friends through the numerous infertility boards and groups available?
I'm so bored of anyone droning on as if they're the only person in the world with an issue, in a 'poor me, no one NO ONE understands what I'm going through' tone, when there are loads of people going through the same stuff.
She's missed what could have been a really interesting article talking about what it's like to live in a constant state of hope. 10 years is a long time to keep having treatment, and there are very few people who keep going that long - most people run out of money, gametes or just conclude it's not going to happen and move on (with sadness).
I don't think she has had 10 years of constant treatment. She had issues with her first husband and then their relationship ended. She was single for a few years and then got re-married to current husband. There is also the privilege of being able to afford private fertility treatment.
I did find her description of her miscarriage in her how to fail book was very honest and I could relate to my experience which is not something many people are open about.
I did find her description of her miscarriage in her how to fail book was very honest and I could relate to my experience which is not something many people are open about.
She seems a bit self obsessed to be desperate to be a mum? To be fair though I would have said that about Pandora and she seems to love kids and keep popping them out
I've been following the debate around ED's fertility privilege article with interest. I have every sympathy for her with regards to her struggles to conceive, and i understand how painful it is to live in a culture that glorifies, indeed almost deifies motherhood when one is having issues with fertility. However - as many posters have already pointed out - if she wants to talk about the concept of being mindful when posting about motherhood and children, she has to recognise and accept that she must be mindful when posting her own successes and blessings, as they may cause similar pain.
I have long been aware that sharing certain aspects of my life may cause pain to others. I have therefore made the choice not to post anything about my life at all. The potential pain it may cause isn't worth it for me. But if I did decide to share certain things about my own life, I would understand that I had no right to judge what others post about theirs. Even as someone who doesn't post about my own life, I still don't have the right to judge what others post about theirs. We are not entitled to judge others against our own arbitrary moral standards (especially if our standards are contradictory/hypocritical). We can only live by our own values. When we do, it becomes easier to abstain from passing judgement on what others choose to do.
I have long been aware that sharing certain aspects of my life may cause pain to others. I have therefore made the choice not to post anything about my life at all. The potential pain it may cause isn't worth it for me. But if I did decide to share certain things about my own life, I would understand that I had no right to judge what others post about theirs. Even as someone who doesn't post about my own life, I still don't have the right to judge what others post about theirs. We are not entitled to judge others against our own arbitrary moral standards (especially if our standards are contradictory/hypocritical). We can only live by our own values. When we do, it becomes easier to abstain from passing judgement on what others choose to do.
Do the literary luvvies we discuss here have to be female?
If not can we talk about Stig Abell, for whom I have a strong antipathy, without even really understanding who he is or what he does. Insta showed me an ad the other day for an article he’d written about not having a single friend and I thought I can well believe that.
Does anyone get what he does and is anyone else as irked by him as me?
If not can we talk about Stig Abell, for whom I have a strong antipathy, without even really understanding who he is or what he does. Insta showed me an ad the other day for an article he’d written about not having a single friend and I thought I can well believe that.
Does anyone get what he does and is anyone else as irked by him as me?
I didn't know anything about him really, but he was saying much the same about no friends on Saturday Live yesterday and it irritated me too. People don't have to have loads of friends, but he seemed to be closed off to the idea of it. I would find that irritating in a partner - I wouldn't want to be their main source of things in life, otherwise you end up simply carrying the mental load and managing grown adults (men, usually).
That is weird. I would go mad if I didn’t have my friends who I see sans husband. And so would he!
Male LLs normally inhabit Sunday Times and Telegraph columns talking pretentious self involved rubbish- male narcissism mixed with the inherent entitlement of the more privileged man is a brutal combination Their actual books tend to have more substance as their audience is smaller, which is why I pleadddd the smarter of the female ones to write something decent
Their actual books tend to have more substance as their audience is smaller, which is why I pleadddd the smarter of the female ones to write something decent Yeah that’s interesting… I wonder how much of it is within the female LL’s control though? And whether (depressingly but also likely…) the men are more likely to get commissioned on something with more substance while the women have to stay in the realm of friendships, women’s issues etc.Male LLs normally inhabit Sunday Times and Telegraph columns talking pretentious self involved rubbish- male narcissism mixed with the inherent entitlement of the more privileged man is a brutal combination
Granta know objectively good writing. The authors they have chosen, at least this year, aren’t in the LL jerk circle - Stephen King provides a cover endorsement for Eleanor Catton’s latest book. No Marian Keyes to be seen!
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