TTC #3

[JLXRD]

CD 33 (first cycle off the pill) and I think I am officially in my first 2WW! 1 DPO today (at least I think so! Hoping my temp keeps rising )

2 weeks feels so long though after 26 days of OPKs multiple times a day I’m glad to have a while before I need to pee on any more sticks!

 

[fishsticks]

Hello! My husband and I are on our first month of trying for a baby and I've been looking for somewhere to talk about it rather than with people I know! (I don't want anyone knowing really in case it doesn't happen for any reason.)

I forgot about this little place and it looks so full of positivity and love and most importantly support.

If I'm honest I'm terrified. I'm worried in case it happens the first month and I'm worried in case it doesn't! Did anyone else feel like this?

I've bought pregnancy tests, but I've not bought ovulation tests and I didn't want myself to become too consumed at first. Flo predicts my ovulation to be around 27th of this month, but now I'm wondering if I should've bought the ovulation tests. Did anyone else do this in the first few months of trying? Thanks!

 

[Celeste]

I’m going to make a conscious effort to lose some weight this month so hopefully that will help.

I've been trying to be in a calorie deficit most of the time now for nearly 2 months and have lost half a stone; not much to some but through consistent, sustainable changes this seems to be really working for me. It can't do any harm to try to be as healthy as possible.

I posted on here last week thinking I could be pregnant. I am pregnant but I don’t think it’s going to stick I’m having the worst stomach pains . I’ve had a miscarriage before and the pains are exactly the same. I thought about calling Epu but I had such a terrible experience the last time I was there. I haven’t told anyone not even my oh because he’s been working away.

So sorry, I really hope it turns out for the best and am sorry you had a bad experience with the EPU. I second the advice above to speak to your GP instead.

 

[fishsticks]

Thanks everyone for your kind messages. @fishsticks your message in particular has helped me so much to feel less alone.

I know some of you are just trying to help me have hope, and were it just the CB weeks, I may still have some - but even my FRERs which were blaring positives this time last week have faded to almost nothing. My symptoms are gone. My temp is dropping. I sadly do think it’s over for this pregnancy. It would hurt more to cling onto hope when all the signs are telling me not to.

I’ve cried for hours today. I’m beside myself, but I am prepared for what is coming and for that I feel grateful xx

Spoiler: TW: loss and emotions

I'm so glad it's helped you. I felt so alone, I felt guilty, I overthought and scruitnised myself to the nth degree I googled so many different things trying to figure out what I had done wrong. Was it caffeine? Or did I eat cold meat. Maybe I shouldn't have ran that day or maybe I shouldn't have driven to the shops. Maybe I forgot to drink enough or take my vitamins. Or was it that I wore tight leggings once. My mind was a black hole of shit. The answer is unfortunately no one will ever know what happened, but I felt like I needed to know.

Stop the Googling and take a break to process all of this. I took myself off in the van, down to the beach where noone else was and I sat playing Animal Crossing in absolute tears. In fact, I think I spent all of that weekend crying. I think if I didn't take that time to sit and cry, to process,I wouldn't be in the hopeful place I am now.

The one thing I learnt is that you definitely know your own body. I knew I was pregnant, then I knew I just wasn't. It's difficult to understand until it happens to you. I guess it wasn't my time to be a mummy and it's so hard accepting that fact, but it's about trying to find some hope again. I hope I develop all the symptoms again. I know what to look out for, I know how things can go right and I know how they can go bad. I know the signs now.

My main advice would be to see your GP regardless. Heaven forbid it happens again to either of us, the drs have a record then. It hurts to see it in black and white on your records, but at least if investigation was required the support is there to prove you can go forward with that.

Please please don't feel like you need to rush into trying again. As soon as I stopped bleeding I was back on my husband like a dog in heat bcus I so desperately wanted to be pregnant again. Your body, no matter how far along you are, goes through a traumatic process and you need to allow it time to heal. My body's way of telling me that was a super long cycle and now I'm back into my normal cycle days, etc. Take your time, look after yourself and listen to your body.

Hope you're not feeling anything physically too bad. I know emotionally it is draining. xxxxx

 

[JLXRD]

Yeah I did! Was very bizarre at first! Then I had fears I'd drowned the swimmies hmmm I was only putting in to the 3 line I think! Maybe I didn't drown them enough.

The cup sounds like a good idea if I'm honest. I alwaaaaays try to fall asleep and not move but *tmi* I hate waking up in the middle of the night bcus my thighs feels sticky and wet. So this is definitely a solution.

Not sure how attractive my husbands going to find me, but who cares.

My husbands twin brother (evil twin I'll add) is getting married in Feb and I'm just so hoping I'm pregnant before then so I can escape early or not go at all...!

So tmi but actually the sticky thing kind of sold using the cup to me after the first time and I was like.. oh.. this is actually a lot more comfortable

I do feel a bit bad for my husband but I’m just glad we conceived this month as I can just say it to him that all the lube syringes and silicone cups and general science lab DTD sessions were worth it

Although we did say now if this pregnancy doesn’t work out I’m going to feel like we have to do all the same things again in order to conceive. Hopefully we don’t need to

 

[grumpycat]

What are everyone’s thoughts on testing early? AF is due on Sunday and I have a clear blue 6 days early test which is burning a hole in the back of my mind

I didn’t like to - just incase my period still came and it turned out to be a chemical, personally I’d rather have not known. But that’s just me!

 

[calmyourritas]

CD14 and still no smiley faces on my OPKs. I convince myself everytime that a flashy smiley will come up and it’s just that annoying bloody circle. Previously had my peak by now so I don’t know what’s going on

hope you’re all okay! 🤍

 

[Honeybeetea]

5dpo today and just feel like I know I’m not going to be pregnant this month. The way I have both previous cycles.

Do you guys get this? I’m only on cycle 3 ttc but I just keep having the feeling it’s not going to happen for us. I don’t know if I’m just not allowing myself hope because I don’t want to feel the disappointment, but then I also have a weird worry about pessimism affecting my chances due to stress or something.

Anyone else have a continuous sense of doom? Did anyone have it but go on to conceive? I know I’m not psychic haha, but also I just don’t feel it’s normal to be this pessimistic

I know this feeling all too well I think it’s just my defence mechanism to (try) and avoid the disappointment. Some days I feel so hopeful and then others it just feels so far away
Not been on here in a while as I naively thought if I didn’t think so much about it it might happen…turns out it doesn’t work like that

Sending love, hope and strength to anyone that needs it this month🤍

 

[Honeybeetea]

Ahh yes I am honestly awful for symptom spotting! My google search history the past few months is like ‘feeling hot 10dpo’ ‘feeling cold 10dpo’ and of course there is always someone who did have that thing!

I’ve literally just searched “earache 5dpo” and had to have a word with myself! I know it’s far too early for symptoms but I can’t stop myself

 

[Sunshinegal]

@Sunshinegal i don’t have any words to make you feel better but just know that your feelings are valid and you are not alone

Thankyou
This is the one place I know I can say I feel and I will be understood, and not judged or told what to do or feel x

It was a few years but I needed 4 operations to deal with severe endometriosis so that delayed things massively x

Well it sounds like you have really been through it.
You deserve that amazing news.
Stories like yours are what I want to hear, I am truly so happy for you.

I'm going to try to cheer you up.

There's nothing wrong with either my husband or myself, we started trying in 2013 (I was 34, so time wasn't on my side). All my - much younger - friends had babies in 2015... but....nothing!! In 2016 we went to a clinic for IVF, we were told they don't do anything in December and to come back in January. We went on holiday to visit family (they're really religious and prayed for me, or, we both relaxed in the sunshine ) I got home and had a smear test:

1 I was bleeding quite randomly and was terrified I had cancer, so that was a mental block
2 the nurse is really ham-fisted and just jabbed at my lady bits for AGES!! .

Hubby suggested we have sex that night, I literally couldn't face it, so we dtd the following night. Honestly, we probably did it 2-3 times that cycle because I'd given up hope and was waiting for the IVF.

PREGNANT 37, on the verge of IVF and definitely not trying hard.
After having my kid, I've now discovered that the random bleeding is from uterine polyps, I've had 2 operations to remove them and I'm once again in the 3rd year of trying. We really don't want to do IVF and drive ourselves crazy when we have a wonderful child, but secretly, it's driving me crazy that's why I'm here

So, apart from being pregnant and recovering from having my vag stitched up, I've basically been playing this almost hopeless game, in silence, since 2013. I can understand why you're not on here all the time and I can totally understand your pain, everyone's pain, that was me. It's really hard to believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I really hope for you that there is

You have had such a journey and your pregnancy with your first sounds like a miracle, the exact thing that is great to hear
I really hope that happens for you again.

Your last couple of sentences have made me tearful. In a good way. They may be words on a screen but I can feel the warmth, kindness and understanding reading them.
Thankyou so much x

 

[eff29]

Hello, I didn't think I'd be back so soon but here I am.

TW for the below.

So last Friday I got my first positive followed by a digital positive on Saturday. We were elated, obviously. I had ridiculously sore boobs, nausea and mild cramping but nothing major.

Yesterday I just knew something wasn't right. Had a very very small amount of blood in CM,but the cramping intensified. This morning took a test and it came back negative and now I'm bleeding.

I'm absolutely devastated and can't stop crying. I know it was very early, but it's still heartbreaking. We've decided we're going to try again straight away, but not track ovulation or anything. Don't want to get my hopes up again. What will be will be I guess! (even though I hate that saying!!)

Hope everyone is doing okay x

So sorry. It doesn't matter how far along you were, you have still had a loss. I had a MC end of May, so in same boat/situation as you. Happy to talk if you want as I know how lonely it can feel. Take care x

 

[JLXRD]

CD 10 and I have a flashy face on my CB digital it took until CD 19 last cycle so hoping this means things are regulating however I did get the flashy face for 13 days before peak last time so still could be a while yet

It’s weird but cos last cycle felt so long, the idea that I might just ovulate in 3 days and then be in another 2WW seems so quick to me! I’m not ready for the anxiety of another 2WW

 

[Mel17]

I caved and took another test. Asda cheapy one not sure if the strength it’s a one you can take 4 days before AF though and mine is due in 4 days, and of course a BFN I need to stop testing I just torture myself every month and look for lines that aren’t there. I know I’m only going on to cycle 5 now but I keep reading people who have fallen so soon after miscarriage and it’s starting to get to me I know it could be a lot worse I just needed to share my feelings x

 

[Pastabeilbys]

does anyone feel like they have a massive spotlight on their head and a flashing sign saying ‘struggling to concieve’..i get anxiety at the thought of people seeing me that i’ve not seen for a while, i get so depressed at each AF, and even just seeing the ‘pregnancy’ forum title on here winds me up i feel such a cow. It really does mess with your head and its such a shame as in every other aspect of my life im normally chilled, kind to others etc! I cant stand perri edwards now, and its not even her fault its the envy monster inside me. I had a miscarriage in december and we have been trying since and i promised myself i would just chill and enjoy the freedom but i am petrified i am losing time - i am 32. Is there anyone here the same age or older? I am driving my husband insane

 

[Lola UK]

I know this is ridiculous but my partners friend has just had a baby girl and named her one of my favourite names and now I feel sad the name is gone I know you can use the same names but literally they are like best friends and it’s a pretty unusual name…

wahhhhh

 

[Louk]

It’s so frustrating isn’t it when you DTD at what you think are the right times & it still doesn’t work.

I’ve a question regarding your partners, how are they finding the process? Mine told me today he’s finding it stressful which is leading to DTD issues. Now I literally tell him as little as possible re testing cus I know it’s stresses him but he’s not stupid. I’d never jump on this much otherwise I guess I just wondering if anyone else is the same and any way to relax about it.

Yup, my hubby has freaked out. The first time we had unprotected sex he actually went "oh shit, what have I done???" but it's so hard when you have to and neither of you wants to do it, then you get in a massive fight over who goes on top then you still have to do it but now you're both knackered and furious

 

[MrsLucas]

Hey guys I have posted on here before been trying for quite a few months now. I think I maybe pregnant I’m a week late but just so scared to test. I have 2 girls already and was exactly the same when pregnant with my youngest. My previous pregnancies I have had early symptoms of extreme exhaustion, nausea, headache and hunger but nothing like that yet. I have however been getting the worse stomach cramps so quite concerned I keep expecting my period to turn up that’s why I’m so nervous to take a test.

 

[Louk]

This is probs very TMI, but does anyone pay attention to their cervix position/texture when checking for CM? I reckon I'm 8dpo and it seems higher than usual and softer.. I am definitely clutching at straws here so don't judge hahah!!

I don't know what you're clutching at Fishsticks, but it certainly ain't straws I wouldn't know my cervix if it slapped me! I'm not going up there, and I doubt my poundshop vibrator could reach either I seriously hope it's a good thing in your case . Jeez, and I thought a cup was a bit risqué

 

[Lola UK]

That is exciting!!!

me right now

 

[bepobee]

Hi everyone. Been stalking this thread for a while but only just joined the site.
My partner and I have decided to start trying this month. I came off the pill last August after being on it for about 10 years, because I wanted to get to know my cycle in preparation for when we were ready. Since then we've not been particularly careful and

Spoiler: TW pregnancy loss

we did find out I was pregnant in April but sadly I starting bleeding a couple of days after. It was a horrible rollercoaster few days.

Now I'm excited to try properly but worried the same thing will happen again. I'm also the kind of person to obsess over something so I know I'll be looking out for every possible sign...
I think we're just going to try to be "relaxed" about it at first. I've been tracking my BBT and think I am lucky to have quite a "normal" and regular cycle. But I'm a major worrier and just have a feeling that this is going to be a difficult journey for us.
Not sure the point of this post - maybe just to get some of my thoughts down in writing.
Sending good luck to everyone else. Thanks for reading.