Toddler advice thread

[Fairypop]

How am I only just finding this thread???!?!?!?

My daughter is 2.5, she has been potty trained for wees since January and has been dry during the day ever since. However with a poos she just won't go on the toilet at all and has started either holding it in for days or having constant accidents as she wont tell me she needs to go other than saying "my bum hurts", so I would quickly put her on the toilet and she kicks off crying!! I am at a loss, she was constipated because of it and has been given laxatives in case it happens again

any tips?!

My daughter loved watching Princess Polly’s Potty on YouTube while she was on the toilet/potty, also loved the “Poo goes home to Poo Land” app. No guarantees but it seemed to encourage her, she was always a little more reluctant with poos which I think is pretty normal. She will get there in the end (although I know how unhelpful it feels hearing that now!), keep encouraging as much as you can, bribe if necessary!

 

[honey&lemon]

guys I need help I’m at my wits end. our 3 year old has the worst fear of the bath.

My husband used to wind her up she’d go down the plug hole if she didn’t get out (didn’t go down well when I suggested this may be the cause) but basically she’s gone from loving the bath to hating it.

its been 4 months and the only way we get her washed is with her standing in the bath, holding onto him while I wash her, she pretty much screams and cries the whole time.

We’ve tried getting in with her, a shower instead of a bath, getting in the shower with me, new bath toys, singing songs and just generally trying to distract her and make it fun but nothing is working

it’s so distressing for all of us and I dread it now. I hate seeing her so upset and even though her speech is great she can’t explain to me why she’s so upset. I’ve explained that she’s safe and nothing bad is going to happen but I really don’t know what else to do I thought it would’ve passed by now

 

[BettyCrockerr]

guys I need help I’m at my wits end. our 3 year old has the worst fear of the bath.

My husband used to wind her up she’d go down the plug hole if she didn’t get out (didn’t go down well when I suggested this may be the cause) but basically she’s gone from loving the bath to hating it.

its been 4 months and the only way we get her washed is with her standing in the bath, holding onto him while I wash her, she pretty much screams and cries the whole time.

We’ve tried getting in with her, a shower instead of a bath, getting in the shower with me, new bath toys, singing songs and just generally trying to distract her and make it fun but nothing is working

it’s so distressing for all of us and I dread it now. I hate seeing her so upset and even though her speech is great she can’t explain to me why she’s so upset. I’ve explained that she’s safe and nothing bad is going to happen but I really don’t know what else to do I thought it would’ve passed by now

Have you tried stuff like doing a bath in the semi dark, and putting glow sticks and things in the water so it’s all lit up and looks cool? I saw that on Instagram once. Or there are bath “pens” that are some sort of washable ink/soap that you can use to draw/write on the bath and it’s safe to use on skin and it rinses off. Could you limit the amount you bath her? Will she shower if you take her to a swimming pool for example?

 

[GlennCoco]

Have you tried taking her swimming since? We had this issue with our little one so I took her swimming and it took me the entire hour to get her to even go in!! But then once she was in she wouldn't get out and bathtime hasn't been an issue since

 

[honey&lemon]

I’ve never taken her swimming. We were due to go on a course but then covid started and we never booked again. Now I feel like it’d be her worst fear ever like a giant bath she loved being in paddling pools last year so going to try that in the warmer weather but that could be a while yet

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I’ve never taken her swimming. We were due to go on a course but then covid started and we never booked again. Now I feel like it’d be her worst fear ever like a giant bath she loved being in paddling pools last year so going to try that in the warmer weather but that could be a while yet

You should go swimming with her. Don’t wait until summer. Make it fun, do not make any comparison to it being like a bath - don’t mention bath at all!!! Get her a fun swimming costume and some cool arm bands etc and some floats to take in and see how she gets on. I’d really recommend trying it, swimming is such a great thing for kids to do anyway and it may help with the bath thing

 

[honey&lemon]

You should go swimming with her. Don’t wait until summer. Make it fun, do not make any comparison to it being like a bath - don’t mention bath at all!!! Get her a fun swimming costume and some cool arm bands etc and some floats to take in and see how she gets on. I’d really recommend trying it, swimming is such a great thing for kids to do anyway and it may help with the bath thing

oohh I really want to but you know when you’re just scared of making a bad situation worse lol she has a costume so I’ll get some arm bands and start mentioning going swimming to get her excited. Good idea keeping it totally separate and not even comparing to a bath. She still loves water play and loves washing up etc. So maybe this will just be the missing piece she needs

Thanks for the advice x

 

[BettyCrockerr]

oohh I really want to but you know when you’re just scared of making a bad situation worse lol she has a costume so I’ll get some arm bands and start mentioning going swimming to get her excited. Good idea keeping it totally separate and not even comparing to a bath. She still loves water play and loves washing up etc. So maybe this will just be the missing piece she needs

Thanks for the advice x

I think you just need to bite the bullet. Just say to her “ohhhh guess what, tomorrow we are doing something really exiting!!” And then really hype it up, get her excited and just do it. And if she doesn’t like it, show her it’s ok - it’s safe, just go easy. See if your local pool has a separate baby pool or mum & children sessions so it’s a bit more age appropriate.

have you tried getting a small, cheap paddling pool and giving her a bath in that in the house? You can get those Small ones and if you did it so it was just deep enough for her to sit in with legs covered, you could used a jug of warm water to do a quick rinse/soap/hair wash etc

 

[honey&lemon]

I think you just need to bite the bullet. Just say to her “ohhhh guess what, tomorrow we are doing something really exiting!!” And then really hype it up, get her excited and just do it. And if she doesn’t like it, show her it’s ok - it’s safe, just go easy. See if your local pool has a separate baby pool or mum & children sessions so it’s a bit more age appropriate.

have you tried getting a small, cheap paddling pool and giving her a bath in that in the house? You can get those Small ones and if you did it so it was just deep enough for her to sit in with legs covered, you could used a jug of warm water to do a quick rinse/soap/hair wash etc

Lol yep! We brought the paddling pool in at one point and tried that but she still freaked out. I only ever fill the bath up a tiny amount now because she refuses to sit down, so just wash and rinse with a jug.

tried more water/less water/ no water in the bath and nothing helped. Swimming is definitely the next option!

 

[Fairypop]

guys I need help I’m at my wits end. our 3 year old has the worst fear of the bath.

My husband used to wind her up she’d go down the plug hole if she didn’t get out (didn’t go down well when I suggested this may be the cause) but basically she’s gone from loving the bath to hating it.

its been 4 months and the only way we get her washed is with her standing in the bath, holding onto him while I wash her, she pretty much screams and cries the whole time.

We’ve tried getting in with her, a shower instead of a bath, getting in the shower with me, new bath toys, singing songs and just generally trying to distract her and make it fun but nothing is working

it’s so distressing for all of us and I dread it now. I hate seeing her so upset and even though her speech is great she can’t explain to me why she’s so upset. I’ve explained that she’s safe and nothing bad is going to happen but I really don’t know what else to do I thought it would’ve passed by now

I would also give swimming a go! And get as many fun things for the bath as possible, my kids have bath bombs, light up bath toys, bath drops, glitter bubble bath, bath foam.
I’ve heard of other parents bathing their kids in a box in the bath (like a big plastic storage type box) when they’ve had issues being scared of the plug hole. I realise that isn’t ideal long term but might be worth a go!

 

[WhatABore]

Lol yep! We brought the paddling pool in at one point and tried that but she still freaked out. I only ever fill the bath up a tiny amount now because she refuses to sit down, so just wash and rinse with a jug.

tried more water/less water/ no water in the bath and nothing helped. Swimming is definitely the next option!

I got my daughter some kids bath bombs with a toy inside.
Just another suggestion that may make her excited to get it. To put that in with her to wait and find out what toy she's got

 

[GlennCoco]

I think you've said that you've bought all the bath toys etc to try and make it exciting but have you let then pick out their own bath toy? We tried that with ours and she got really excited about picking out her own "Bloopi" from Argos. She then carried it all the way home and played with it all day She still didn't enjoy bath time but it wasn't as bad as it had been as we made it all about the Bloopi having fun and swimming etc. Our little one just stood in the bath and kind of joined in. She wouldn't sit down but it definitely helped bring down the atmosphere if that makes sense?

 

[hannah1799]

I would suggest going to lush and choosing some bath bombs! My nearly 4 year old loves it and gets so excited watching it fizz. She can drop it in the water herself and then she would probably be more inclined to want to go in and it might be a good distraction from whatever is upsetting her. It’s very common for them to go through phases like this though

 

[al255]

Good morning all.

My 2.5 year old has been teething since Tuesday.. molars! She’s slept rubbish all week, (as have i!), and she’s hardly eating anything. She was up all last night screaming and unhappy literally every hour. I had to pin her down at one point to get calpol into her as she had a temp and she won’t take it from anything. We’ve both had all of 3 hours sleep and exhausted!! She was up at half 5 too unhappy and wouldn’t go back to sleep. She’s had some frosted shreddies this morning, but I’m just worried if she doesn’t eat 3 meals today she will be up again tonight. She had some chips for tea yesterday and some soup at 3ish, didn’t want any lunch. Any advice? I’m just worried cos it’s gone on for longer than usual, she’s already got 1 2nd molar through its just the rest of them.. normally it’s a few nights of being up cos of pain etc, just struggling, I’m a single mum and juggling this on my own too! She won’t even entertain soft foods like ice cream (her fave), or yoghurt etc

Her dad has been NO help this week, she’s going to his soon but I feel awful leaving her cos he will just get stressed out with her if she’s up every hour at night but then my friend said I need to get some rest as I’ve had a week of barely any sleep and being at work! sorry rant! Just fed up and exhausted and want my child back to her usual self x

 

[watermelon sugar]

@al255 oh my little boy has been the exact same! He got sent home from nursery on Thursday with a high temperature and was crying, ever since he got home he’s had his hand in his mouth! He’s been sleeping rubbish also, constantly fidgeting and tossing and turning in his sleep. Hes also been waking up super early, woke up at 4.30 morning but managed to get him back to sleep until 5.45, every other morning it’s been 5.20/30! He’s been off his food too and won’t eat all his meals. I just offer him more snacks really and nice cold milk to soothe his mouth so I know he’s getting the fats. This is by far the worst teething we’ve had and it’s only been a few days!!

You do deserve a rest though. I’d speak to her Dad and be very stern and warn him beforehand and tell him how she’s been so he is prepared. I hope you manage to get some rest x

 

[al255]

@al255 oh my little boy has been the exact same! He got sent home from nursery on Thursday with a high temperature and was crying, ever since he got home he’s had his hand in his mouth! He’s been sleeping rubbish also, constantly fidgeting and tossing and turning in his sleep. Hes also been waking up super early, woke up at 4.30 morning but managed to get him back to sleep until 5.45, every other morning it’s been 5.20/30! He’s been off his food too and won’t eat all his meals. I just offer him more snacks really and nice cold milk to soothe his mouth so I know he’s getting the fats. This is by far the worst teething we’ve had and it’s only been a few days!!

You do deserve a rest though. I’d speak to her Dad and be very stern and warn him beforehand and tell him how she’s been so he is prepared. I hope you manage to get some rest x

Owwwww I’m sorry your little boy is going though this again. I hope he’s ok soon I broke down last night, I felt like THE worst mum in the world, I literally used force to pin her down so she couldn’t wriggle her arms out to grab the calpol sringe out of my hands cos i couldn’t just leave her with a temp. What can you do! I just cried and led next to her and just stroked her head I want to take all her pain away but sadly can’t.

Also meant to be going out for bottomless brunch for my birthday today (it was on Monday) but I feel like complete mum guilt urghh

 

[hol20x]

Good morning all.

My 2.5 year old has been teething since Tuesday.. molars! She’s slept rubbish all week, (as have i!), and she’s hardly eating anything. She was up all last night screaming and unhappy literally every hour. I had to pin her down at one point to get calpol into her as she had a temp and she won’t take it from anything. We’ve both had all of 3 hours sleep and exhausted!! She was up at half 5 too unhappy and wouldn’t go back to sleep. She’s had some frosted shreddies this morning, but I’m just worried if she doesn’t eat 3 meals today she will be up again tonight. She had some chips for tea yesterday and some soup at 3ish, didn’t want any lunch. Any advice? I’m just worried cos it’s gone on for longer than usual, she’s already got 1 2nd molar through its just the rest of them.. normally it’s a few nights of being up cos of pain etc, just struggling, I’m a single mum and juggling this on my own too! She won’t even entertain soft foods like ice cream (her fave), or yoghurt etc

Her dad has been NO help this week, she’s going to his soon but I feel awful leaving her cos he will just get stressed out with her if she’s up every hour at night but then my friend said I need to get some rest as I’ve had a week of barely any sleep and being at work! sorry rant! Just fed up and exhausted and want my child back to her usual self x

You can get Anbesol liquid or gel from the chemist, it numbs the area where you’re having pain. I’ve used the adult version on myself and it definitely helps! Might help to get her to sleep x

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

Defo second anbesol, it’s brilliant. I use it myself if I ever get an ulcer

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Owwwww I’m sorry your little boy is going though this again. I hope he’s ok soon I broke down last night, I felt like THE worst mum in the world, I literally used force to pin her down so she couldn’t wriggle her arms out to grab the calpol sringe out of my hands cos i couldn’t just leave her with a temp. What can you do! I just cried and led next to her and just stroked her head I want to take all her pain away but sadly can’t.

Also meant to be going out for bottomless brunch for my birthday today (it was on Monday) but I feel like complete mum guilt urghh

You’re not the worst mum ever you sound like a brilliant mum! My little boy who turned 3 two weeks ago used to be a nightmare with calpol I had to pin him down as well and wait for a shout so I could shoot calpol down him quick but one day he let me do it and now he’s fine. Hopefully yours will be too. I don’t really have any advice on teething … and I would have a word with her dad and tell him what she’s been like so he can expect it ? Xx

 

[al255]

Thanks all, I’ve just dropped her off at her Dads and she was SCREAMING and crying, wouldn’t let me go and saying she didn’t want to go when you’re unwell all you want is your mummy but sadly I need a break and a good sleep! She will be fine once she’s settled down

I’m defo going to get some of that liquid it was on my radar but sadly just forgot about it. It’ll be Tuesday now though as bank hol nowhere it open in my little town. Thanks all for the advice and I’m glad it’s not just me who has to resort to drastic measures to give my toddler calpol

I also text her dad a long “what to do” paragraph with doses for calpol etc so he has it wrote down as I’ve given her ibuprofen this morning so he knows. (It’s also changed for calpol since she’s turned 2) .. Really hope she sleeps well tonight, poor soul needs it, only positive is she sleeps really well at his house at night so fingers crossed x