We have an ikea kura bed which we used as a floor bed with a frame (like below) and now at 6 he uses it as his “bunk bed”. When we introduced it at 20 months that was his move to his bedroom, before that we had 100% cosleptNever actually thought of this! Thank you! Will show my hubby and might give it a go
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No I don’t agree with it really. When I say cry it out I literally stepped away from the door I was still upstairs and 2 steps away and didn’t leave him for longer than 2 mins. He got so upset .. there’s no way they are going to go asleep when they’re that upset. I’ve heard good things about floor beds too. We’re thinking of getting one. Co sleeping is hard work I feel like I don’t always get a good nights sleep but In his own room i was up about 4 times a night trying to get him back down for long periods of time. I have a physical job so I need sleep to functionNever actually thought of this! Thank you! Will show my hubby and might give it a go
I know what you mean! Some of my friends/family said I should just let him cry it out etc but I don't have it in me to do that! Just doesn't sit right with me letting him cry himself to sleep!
Chances are, it isn’t a learned behaviour but a genuine display of emotion. It isn’t anything you are doing wrong.
As adults, we’re conditioned to see anger as a ‘bad’ thing, and to think we should always keep our cool and be civil. Little people don’t have the brain development for that. They’re also going through huge developmental changes that quite often will trigger outbursts out of frustration, tiredness, stress or upset. Anger scares us as parents because these small people get really angry really quickly.
Redirecting anger is the way we chose to deal with it. A pillow to hit or grab, or shout into. Daniel Tiger’s “when you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a big breath and count to four” for slightly older wee ones. Absolutely no hitting or violence directed at other people or that would result in removal from the situation - “I can see you are frustrated but you do not hit mummy”. Being present and giving them the vocabulary to name their emotions helped us a lot - “I can see you are frustrated”, “I’m sorry you’re feeling so stressed”, “It isn’t nice to feel overwhelmed.” Plenty of cuddles afterwards - we all know what that come down from a meltdown feels like!
At the end of the day, anger is just as valid an emotion as being happy or being sad. Try not to see it as something you are struggling with, but as your son learning to express himself and the full range of human emotions - he’s learning! In return, a calm approach from you is also teaching him how to deal with someone else’s anger when he encounters it amongst his peers, and also reinforcing how to interact kindly with others.
that is very helpful, thank you!
I think this is so perfectly put, and love it. I struggle to remember this at times, and the reminder is always welcome so thank you
Has everybody had a 2 year review for their toddlers?
We saw our health visitor a grand total of once during lockdown and never had any interaction since. Just been invited for a 2 year review but I’m at work and I can’t be bothered waiting in on my day off for them to be honest as it’s our day together and we go out and do fun things so I’m going to cancel it. Am I actually missing anything? I have no concerns about my little one
We saw our health visitor a grand total of once during lockdown and never had any interaction since. Just been invited for a 2 year review but I’m at work and I can’t be bothered waiting in on my day off for them to be honest as it’s our day together and we go out and do fun things so I’m going to cancel it. Am I actually missing anything? I have no concerns about my little one
I had mine but it was last January (although that was in a lockdown). They look at gross motor skills, fine motor skills, speech, they usually ask mine to do puzzles/blocks to see how they interact with materials given, they chat about eating, sleeping and potty training. I think they weigh and measure too but my then 2yo point blank refused to get on the scales so we didn’t bother.Has everybody had a 2 year review for their toddlers?
We saw our health visitor a grand total of once during lockdown and never had any interaction since. Just been invited for a 2 year review but I’m at work and I can’t be bothered waiting in on my day off for them to be honest as it’s our day together and we go out and do fun things so I’m going to cancel it. Am I actually missing anything? I have no concerns about my little one
If you can’t make it I would just say no thanks. If you’ve no concerns it’s just a tick box exercise.
Mine was on my due date in December. He was 2 in the September. To be honest, it was such a waste of time. It was so much better with my daughter (12) and my son (6) I was looking forward to it, and showing the HV what he could do, but she didn’t really do much. Asked me a couple of questions, I told her he was under review for his ears, she didn’t mention speech therapy, and we were out after not even 10 minutesHas everybody had a 2 year review for their toddlers?
We saw our health visitor a grand total of once during lockdown and never had any interaction since. Just been invited for a 2 year review but I’m at work and I can’t be bothered waiting in on my day off for them to be honest as it’s our day together and we go out and do fun things so I’m going to cancel it. Am I actually missing anything? I have no concerns about my little one
I had mine for my son and it was a waste of time all about a tick box sheet which bothers me anyway as I don’t think all children should be compared to a tick box as they learn/develop at their own pace. Think my appointment was over in 10mins if you have no concerns that’s the main thingHas everybody had a 2 year review for their toddlers?
We saw our health visitor a grand total of once during lockdown and never had any interaction since. Just been invited for a 2 year review but I’m at work and I can’t be bothered waiting in on my day off for them to be honest as it’s our day together and we go out and do fun things so I’m going to cancel it. Am I actually missing anything? I have no concerns about my little one
We never got a 2 year reviewHas everybody had a 2 year review for their toddlers?
We saw our health visitor a grand total of once during lockdown and never had any interaction since. Just been invited for a 2 year review but I’m at work and I can’t be bothered waiting in on my day off for them to be honest as it’s our day together and we go out and do fun things so I’m going to cancel it. Am I actually missing anything? I have no concerns about my little one
Was before Covid too so that wasn't a reason
Aw, thank you. I wish I was as well put together when it’s actually happening! Anger was, and is, the bit I struggle with most, it used to so upset me when they were smaller and it was always in public too! DH is captain cool, calm and collected with it (I think years of being in the army has worked some kind of magic
). But I try and think that I’ve had plenty of “ungracious” moments in my adult life, and if someone was ignoring me, telling me to just calm down or shouting at me back, it probably wouldn’t have helped or ended well.(Secretly mentally prepping myself for the teenage anger we have lined up to start in the house in the next few years…)
Oh gosh this is the exact same in our house! My husband is Mr Chilled, so laid back, and I am very quick to anger which has unfortunately passed on to the kidsAw, thank you. I wish I was as well put together when it’s actually happening! Anger was, and is, the bit I struggle with most, it used to so upset me when they were smaller and it was always in public too! DH is captain cool, calm and collected with it (I think years of being in the army has worked some kind of magic
(Secretly mentally prepping myself for the teenage anger we have lined up to start in the house in the next few years…)
my husband often mumbles “I dread when she (my eldest, very like me in all ways) is a teenager” 
My daughter is the double of me. She scowls just like me tooOh gosh this is the exact same in our house! My husband is Mr Chilled, so laid back, and I am very quick to anger which has unfortunately passed on to the kids
I’ve got a photo of us both scowling and it’s so alike Her Dad says how she’s a nightmare at times and it’s cos she’s half mine I’m gunna have it when she’s a teenager. I’m dreading it already! But I have to admit the temper tantrums are very few and far between since I started “gentle parenting”.. my dad was always a shouter and could never really reason with us and thought shouting made it better etc, I always used to say shouting makes it worse. And it does! I try and not raise my voice but just be stern with what I say. Seems to work. Obviously every child is different so what works for us might not work for anyone else very well.So just wondering, how much do you get out with your toddler. For instance- in my case it’s just myself & my daughter who is 2. She goes to nursery Monday&Tuesdays and Wednesday and Thursday she’s at home with me. I always feel like I have to be out and about with her, at toddler groups etc.. and she enjoys them. Fridays she goes to a family members as I work (to save nursery fees too).. atleast once a month we go to the zoo (annual pass). I split the weekend with her Dad, so on the day we might go to the park or on the swings, or go for a walk in the woods etc. She has lots of toys and plays with them too at home so she’s never really bored.
I try and have one morning where we chill and just do nothing.. I feel like I do too much with her though compared to other mums on my Facebook. I just feel guilty when we are inside not doing a great deal and she’s stuck in front of the tv. The reason for my post is I’ve just gotten over covid and we’ve been pretty much housebound and she’s not been as bored as I thought she would be
How much do you do outside/groups with your toddler?
I try and have one morning where we chill and just do nothing.. I feel like I do too much with her though compared to other mums on my Facebook. I just feel guilty when we are inside not doing a great deal and she’s stuck in front of the tv. The reason for my post is I’ve just gotten over covid and we’ve been pretty much housebound and she’s not been as bored as I thought she would be
How much do you do outside/groups with your toddler?
Kids, especially at her age, learn so much through play. And although they're just "playing" it's actually supper beneficial to them.So just wondering, how much do you get out with your toddler. For instance- in my case it’s just myself & my daughter who is 2. She goes to nursery Monday&Tuesdays and Wednesday and Thursday she’s at home with me. I always feel like I have to be out and about with her, at toddler groups etc.. and she enjoys them. Fridays she goes to a family members as I work (to save nursery fees too).. atleast once a month we go to the zoo (annual pass). I split the weekend with her Dad, so on the day we might go to the park or on the swings, or go for a walk in the woods etc. She has lots of toys and plays with them too at home so she’s never really bored.
I try and have one morning where we chill and just do nothing.. I feel like I do too much with her though compared to other mums on my Facebook. I just feel guilty when we are inside not doing a great deal and she’s stuck in front of the tv. The reason for my post is I’ve just gotten over covid and we’ve been pretty much housebound and she’s not been as bored as I thought she would be
How much do you do outside/groups with your toddler?
The more they're left to play by themselves and not entertained, the more they tend to learn
We don't go out that often, apart from for a walk or something just to get some fresh air and they're very happy to just be playing inside
Lockdown taught me they didn't need to be out doing things all the time and were actually more content just inside playing
Thank you, reassuring! I just get mum guilt if she’s “stuck inside”, but saying that we go on holiday next week so I’m wanting a few chill days too! It got to the point were she did Mon&Tues nursery, wednesday toddler sense, thursday farm school and Friday she would be outside most of the day with family if weather was nice! I got to a point were I thought can’t do this anymore I’m as tired as she isKids, especially at her age, learn so much through play. And although they're just "playing" it's actually supper beneficial to them.
The more they're left to play by themselves and not entertained, the more they tend to learn
We don't go out that often, apart from for a walk or something just to get some fresh air and they're very happy to just be playing inside
Lockdown taught me they didn't need to be out doing things all the time and were actually more content just inside playing
!!I totally get the guilt with staying at home. My son was 2 in October and I often feel like I need to have the whole day planned outside (also my partner works from home so I don't like to be under his feet the whole time, even though he doesn't mind). I end up spending a fortune on lunches etc so I am definitely going to bear in mind that it's ok to do things at home too.
My daughter loves being outside. Even when it’s snowing or lashing it down she wants to be out. I agree - if we go even to the zoo I get us an ice cream and a fridge magnet all adds up
Recently planned a few overnight trips in the coming weeks... but I must admit I've got a bit of brain fog!!
One of the trips away is going to Alton Towers/Cbeebies Land with my 17mo. It's going to be out first 'big day out away from home' like this (thanks Covid).
What on earth do I pack during the day? Minds gone totally blank! and I'm worried incase I'm going to miss something and it's like 3 hours away from home.
We're going into the park 1 day, stay over that night and back to the park the next day. Have booked breakfast and tea (dinner for you southerners) out.
One of the trips away is going to Alton Towers/Cbeebies Land with my 17mo. It's going to be out first 'big day out away from home' like this (thanks Covid).
What on earth do I pack during the day? Minds gone totally blank! and I'm worried incase I'm going to miss something and it's like 3 hours away from home.
We're going into the park 1 day, stay over that night and back to the park the next day. Have booked breakfast and tea (dinner for you southerners) out.
Nappies
Wipes
Bottle (milk)
Water cup
Clothes for day 1 and 2, a couple of spare pair of outfits
Snacks
Breakfast if he’s fussy
If you do forget something, I’m sure there’s a shops around
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