Toddler advice thread #5

[smellsofbiscuits]

Hi all, appreciate potty training has been covered many times before but asking for help. My eldest was potty trained during lockdown and it was so easy because we were at home anyway.

I delayed potty training as I thought I would be unemployed for the last quarter of this year. That's not happening anymore plus my youngest is moving to a new care setting. I've decided to start potty training in the next week or so as he's three in about a month.

Any tips for starting? My husband thinks we should wait as he hasn't exhibited any of the signs that my eldest did. I'm worried that the nursery he's accessing for funded hours won't take him unless potty trained, which I appreciate isn't the best reason to start.

I just feel like I've let my youngest down and potentially missed the boat with toilet training

 

[Jellybean093]

Hi all, appreciate potty training has been covered many times before but asking for help. My eldest was potty trained during lockdown and it was so easy because we were at home anyway.

I delayed potty training as I thought I would be unemployed for the last quarter of this year. That's not happening anymore plus my youngest is moving to a new care setting. I've decided to start potty training in the next week or so as he's three in about a month.

Any tips for starting? My husband thinks we should wait as he hasn't exhibited any of the signs that my eldest did. I'm worried that the nursery he's accessing for funded hours won't take him unless potty trained, which I appreciate isn't the best reason to start.

I just feel like I've let my youngest down and potentially missed the boat with toilet training

Unless they have stated he needs to be potty trained, they will still change nappies. My sons preschool did anyway when he was in nappies

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

Unless they have stated he needs to be potty trained, they will still change nappies. My sons preschool did anyway when he was in nappies

Thanks, I've emailed them to clarify. It's a nursery attached to a school and I just assumed they wouldn't due to this. I'm hoping they do as I'd rather he start showing signs than being rushed into things.

 

[ElektraWintour]

@swimming sorry if I’ve missed this but can you co sleep at all? My daughter has woken up at 5am a couple of times, her usual wake up is 7/7:30 so I know she’s not ready to get up yet. She’s in a double bed so I get into her bed and she’ll go back to sleep.

@smellsofbiscuits the ‘oh crap’ potty training book worked for us. My daughter didn’t show any signs she was ready and the book also said they don’t have to be showing signs and she seemed to get it following that method.

 

[Jellybean093]

Thanks, I've emailed them to clarify. It's a nursery attached to a school and I just assumed they wouldn't due to this. I'm hoping they do as I'd rather he start showing signs than being rushed into things.

Ah! Ok. School nursery might be different. I’m not much help

 

[LilyRose1234]

Yeah so the other night id quite literally had enough and I felt sick with tiredness so he was in the bath at 5.30pm and in bed for 6. He still woke up crying mummy 2/3 times between midnight and 3am and then was still up for the day around 4.
I spoke to the HV just for reassurance because I’ve got depression (that’s stemmed from PND) and I’m just struggling so much with the total burnout and she said it’s a phase and he will go back to his night time sleep soon.

As someone else has said, could you bring him into bed with you? Mine will usually wake somewhere between 2-4 crying for me, so I bring her in with me and then pretend to be asleep so she doesn’t think it’s morning time. She’s always been a bad sleeper so it’s pretty normal for her, but no doubt frustrating if he’s only just started doing it! It I tried to get her back in her own bed she’d just cry and cry so she just comes in and I try not to talk to her or anything to indicate it’s still night time!

 

[swimming]

As someone else has said, could you bring him into bed with you? Mine will usually wake somewhere between 2-4 crying for me, so I bring her in with me and then pretend to be asleep so she doesn’t think it’s morning time. She’s always been a bad sleeper so it’s pretty normal for her, but no doubt frustrating if he’s only just started doing it! It I tried to get her back in her own bed she’d just cry and cry so she just comes in and I try not to talk to her or anything to indicate it’s still night time!

Thanks for this comment, and you @ElektraWintour … so yes co sleeping is something we do. And I love it (when he sleeps). But this bloody phase of 4am wake ups very quickly turns in him getting up for a drink of water, then a biscuit, then he wants another drink, then he wants to get up. It’s constant I’m telling ya. Like, he is pure awake there’s no sorting it. Even if I lay there ignoring it he’s still getting down from the bed getting water, or asking for stuff. Again, this is all new and wasn’t happening a few weeks ago. I’m simply praying with all I’ve got it’s short lived because I’m suffering

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi all, appreciate potty training has been covered many times before but asking for help. My eldest was potty trained during lockdown and it was so easy because we were at home anyway.

I delayed potty training as I thought I would be unemployed for the last quarter of this year. That's not happening anymore plus my youngest is moving to a new care setting. I've decided to start potty training in the next week or so as he's three in about a month.

Any tips for starting? My husband thinks we should wait as he hasn't exhibited any of the signs that my eldest did. I'm worried that the nursery he's accessing for funded hours won't take him unless potty trained, which I appreciate isn't the best reason to start.

I just feel like I've let my youngest down and potentially missed the boat with toilet training

You haven’t let him down at all. What age is he?
I would just go straight in at the next weekend, and maybe see if you or OH can be off the Monday and Tuesday at least. Explain it’s time to start using the toilet and just go from there. I promise it will come. PT always feels so overwhelming, but it all slots in to place for you.

 

[Kit123]

Okay, I might get absolutely slated on here for this suggestion and it might not be your thing anyway.
However, when my daughter wakes up ridiculously early I put the Tele on and she ends up falling back to sleep sometimes. If not it just gives me some extra snoozing time.

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

@ElektraWintour Can I ask what the method is in Oh Crap!? I've previously used the Gentle Parent Guide to Potty Training that recommends at least three days at home with no nappies. Is Oh Crap! much different to that.

Just being cheap and don't want to buy another parenting book However will get a copy if the method is very different.
---

You haven’t let him down at all. What age is he?
I would just go straight in at the next weekend, and maybe see if you or OH can be off the Monday and Tuesday at least. Explain it’s time to start using the toilet and just go from there. I promise it will come. PT always feels so overwhelming, but it all slots in to place for you.

He's three next month. I had planned to start next weekend but Mr B is away all day Sunday. My eldest has a birthday party to go to so I would need to take my youngest out. And I don't think I'm brave enough to take him out nappy less on day two

I do feel like he was showing signs of being ready a month or two but life was too busy. Then it feels like I'll always have an excuse. We have family staying next weekend. Then something else will come up the following week, if that makes sense? So I think I just need to take a good run at it, regardless of what our plans are.

Fortunately my workdays are Wednesday-Friday so I can start on a Saturday and hopefully make some headway. But perhaps not this weekend

Thanks for reading and offering advice x

 

[LilyRose1234]

Thanks for this comment, and you @ElektraWintour … so yes co sleeping is something we do. And I love it (when he sleeps). But this bloody phase of 4am wake ups very quickly turns in him getting up for a drink of water, then a biscuit, then he wants another drink, then he wants to get up. It’s constant I’m telling ya. Like, he is pure awake there’s no sorting it. Even if I lay there ignoring it he’s still getting down from the bed getting water, or asking for stuff. Again, this is all new and wasn’t happening a few weeks ago. I’m simply praying with all I’ve got it’s short lived because I’m suffering

In that case I really hope it’s just a phase and it’s over for you soon!

 

[Definitelyme]

@ElektraWintour Can I ask what the method is in Oh Crap!? I've previously used the Gentle Parent Guide to Potty Training that recommends at least three days at home with no nappies. Is Oh Crap! much different to that.

Just being cheap and don't want to buy another parenting book However will get a copy if the method is very different.
---


He's three next month. I had planned to start next weekend but Mr B is away all day Sunday. My eldest has a birthday party to go to so I would need to take my youngest out. And I don't think I'm brave enough to take him out nappy less on day two

I do feel like he was showing signs of being ready a month or two but life was too busy. Then it feels like I'll always have an excuse. We have family staying next weekend. Then something else will come up the following week, if that makes sense? So I think I just need to take a good run at it, regardless of what our plans are.

Fortunately my workdays are Wednesday-Friday so I can start on a Saturday and hopefully make some headway. But perhaps not this weekend

Thanks for reading and offering advice x

I know you didn’t ask me, but I’ve read Oh Crap as well. Basically it says that you teach them in blocks which take as long as they take, no prescribed time. So first block is naked from the waist down, and once they have cracked that, then you start with their bottoms on. But I just use it as a guide, and make it my own. So what it says in almost all those books works great to stay at home if you’ve no other kids. I’ve 4, so can’t stay at home for days on end as we have school runs etc. so you just work it to fit yourself.

 

[Hushpuppy]

Thanks for the suggestions re the oranges ladies @watermelon sugar @Definitelyme @Jellybean093 sorry I don't often have time for tattle these days... I'm too busy trying to get darn stains out of clothing hope you're all well

 

[ejej123]

I know this is a very niche question but has anyone had to deal with having a naughty pet around a toddler? (We have a cat that is very bitey!!). Not sure what the hell to do!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I know this is a very niche question but has anyone had to deal with having a naughty pet around a toddler? (We have a cat that is very bitey!!). Not sure what the hell to do!

Lol yes. I have 2 parrots, one adores her and the other hated her with a passion

The only thing that worked with us was positive reinforcement with the bird when she was around, getting her to feed him, lots of praise and treats when she was around etc. He still isn't a fan of her but doesn't try to mess around with her. Not sure how that would work with a cat but it helped him see her as not a threat, he is VERY food driven though.

 

[ElektraWintour]

My dog is a rescue so she isn’t particularly fond of our daughter. She’s never done anything to her (the dog that is) but we do the same! Try and build up a bond by our toddler giving her treats.

 

[Megatron1298]

@ElektraWintour and @Definitelyme im skim reading oh crap! Now and writing down the important tips. Did you follow this for night training too? As I thought that was hormonal and couldn’t be trained per say.

@smellsofbiscuits i found a version with a trial of scribd. I’m skim reading it as this author waffles on a lot and I am finding some of her points a bit much. But the general gist seems doable.

We are going to start on Friday with my nearly 3.5 year old

 

[ElektraWintour]

@ElektraWintour and @Definitelyme im skim reading oh crap! Now and writing down the important tips. Did you follow this for night training too? As I thought that was hormonal and couldn’t be trained per say.

@smellsofbiscuits i found a version with a trial of scribd. I’m skim reading it as this author waffles on a lot and I am finding some of her points a bit much. But the general gist seems doable.

We are going to start on Friday with my nearly 3.5 year old

No I didn’t night train for exactly that reason. I waited for my daughter to be consistently dry at night. I think it was just under a year after potty training.

 

[Definitelyme]

@ElektraWintour and @Definitelyme im skim reading oh crap! Now and writing down the important tips. Did you follow this for night training too? As I thought that was hormonal and couldn’t be trained per say.

@smellsofbiscuits i found a version with a trial of scribd. I’m skim reading it as this author waffles on a lot and I am finding some of her points a bit much. But the general gist seems doable.

We are going to start on Friday with my nearly 3.5 year old

Nope, never used it for night time. I just let that come when it comes.

 

[Longtimesnooper]

Just found this thread & thought I'd look for opinions.
My three year old started her free hours at nursery three weeks ago, she's doing five afternoons. At the time we applied she seemed to be dropping her nap (depending when she got up) & I was pregnant with our second so thought afternoons would be easier to manage. However she started napping regularly again, doesn't seem to matter what time she gets up & often seems to have a "crash' of energy at points during the day. She's also had terrible hayfever this year. Everytime we pick her up from nursery they say "she was tired again today, was a bit emotional, there were a few tears", nothing positive. Her dad picked her up yesterday & he said he felt interrogated about her tiredness (she was up early & had a nap in the morning but still said she was tired)& they kept asking if we gave her piriton that morning, we told them we give her piriton if her hayfever was bad but that's usually before her bed when it's worse. Her dad dropped her off this afternoon & said she might need to sleep, she was up at 7 but was in good spirits most the morning & the teacher just gave a chuckle. A few hours later we get a phone call saying she was coughing, her nose was running & she said she wasn't feeling well. OH went & got her & she came bounding in, perky as anything. Her dad then told me that the teacher said "oh you seem better now. You must just be tired & finding it all a bit overwhelming." She had asked to go to the quiet room for a sleep but there wasn't anyone to sit with her." This has really upset & angered me a bit that she couldn't have a sleep, am I being dramatic? I understand she was coughing & had a runny nose but what toddler doesn't. She had a sleep when she got home had a few coughs but nothing major, then her nose started running but once that cleared she was fine, it was her allergies, I actually think it's something at nursery she is allergic to.
I'm dropping her off tomorrow & I don't know if I should say something, I don't do confrontation but I feel likes she's an inconvenience to them but she surely isn't the only one that gets tired especially since they have ones in all day. We're already picking her up earlier than we want cos she's finding it a struggle to last longer than three hours. She had never been to nursery before,she was looked after at home & even at her stay & plays she went to she would be shattered after. We say for every hour of play she needs half an hour lounge to recover.
I feel a bit silly but I'm going to phone the health visitor to see if they think her tiredness is unusual for her age, I keep winding myself up that there might be something medically wrong with her like low iron or something. I'm also thinking seeing about changing her to the morning sessions but I know they are usually busier (which i think might overwhelm her) & might not have space & to be honest I still think she will get tired & moany at points. She is such a wee character I hate to think the staff are just seeing this whingy, tired child. Sorry for the ramble, I've said on other threads I feel like tattle us an outlet for me & my thoughts