Toddler advice thread #5

[Wishwash]

Hello!
I hope this question is ok, I realise this thread is more geared towards toddlers.
I'm having a problem with my 4 year old lashing out and hitting other children at school (he started this September). He is young being born first week of August so only just turned 4 when he started This is new for him, he went through 3 years of nursery with nothing like this. The school have had me in and feel like it's definitely related to being frustrated (eg being excluded from a game) or not being listened to but, like me, they were keen to bring it up and let me know so we can support him and I guess try to nip it in the bud.

Does anyone have any useful tips or resources related to this? We've always practiced "kind hands" at home and school use this terminology so we're continuing with this. Stopping play and addressing it when it happens and trying to keep our cool. He has never been much of a hitter but there has been odd occasions recently where he's lashed out at his younger sibling or dad. I just am not sure if at 4 he is old enough for sanctions such as taking toys/TV away or not allowing him to do or attend things. But maybe he is?

I'm really hoping it's a phase and a bit of a kick back to starting school (there's been some bed wetting after being dry for ages and he looks so shattered all the time, and very emotional) but I feel sad for him and not sure how to handle it. As a child I would have been yelled at and probs had a smack with a slipper and obviously this is not how I parent my child - I just don't know how to navigate this it all came as a huge surprise. My poor little guy.
---

Hello!
I hope this question is ok, I realise this thread is more geared towards toddlers.
I'm having a problem with my 4 year old lashing out and hitting other children at school (he started this September). He is young being born first week of August so only just turned 4 when he started This is new for him, he went through 3 years of nursery with nothing like this. The school have had me in and feel like it's definitely related to being frustrated (eg being excluded from a game) or not being listened to but, like me, they were keen to bring it up and let me know so we can support him and I guess try to nip it in the bud.

Does anyone have any useful tips or resources related to this? We've always practiced "kind hands" at home and school use this terminology so we're continuing with this. Stopping play and addressing it when it happens and trying to keep our cool. He has never been much of a hitter but there has been odd occasions recently where he's lashed out at his younger sibling or dad. I just am not sure if at 4 he is old enough for sanctions such as taking toys/TV away or not allowing him to do or attend things. But maybe he is?

Sorry all - I can't work out to edit but just wanted to add that hitting isn't occuring every day there seems to be 3 or 4 events since beginning of term based on what his teacher has told me, 1 of which was a true accident (bumped into a girl in the playground but she was very upset)

 

[Longtimesnooper]

Looking for opinions. So my daughter has caught yet another cough from nursery with a bit of a sniffle. On Monday morning she coughed so much she was sick (mainly looked like mucus but hadn't eaten that day yet),kept her off nursery for the recommended 48hrs but really she was her normal self not long after she was sick. Wednesday back to nursery, but she was sick again at night from coughing, I was bad this time kept her off the Thursday but didn't say she was sick & she went back Friday, again she was fine all day. Last night she was sick three times from coughing, I actually ended up phoning 111 just cos of the bloody cough. Was told it sounded like a respiratory viral thing & it'll be the mucus going down her throat when sleeping that's making her cough & vomit. Again there's been nothing wrong with her since apart from the cough now & again.
What my question is, even though yes she has been sick in the night from coughing there isn't much else wrong with her, would you still send her to her activities & nursery the next day? Her dads like we should just take her cos its not a sickness bug, it's her cough but I'm not sure I fully agree with that. What's your thoughts?

 

[WhatABore]

Looking for opinions. So my daughter has caught yet another cough from nursery with a bit of a sniffle. On Monday morning she coughed so much she was sick (mainly looked like mucus but hadn't eaten that day yet),kept her off nursery for the recommended 48hrs but really she was her normal self not long after she was sick. Wednesday back to nursery, but she was sick again at night from coughing, I was bad this time kept her off the Thursday but didn't say she was sick & she went back Friday, again she was fine all day. Last night she was sick three times from coughing, I actually ended up phoning 111 just cos of the bloody cough. Was told it sounded like a respiratory viral thing & it'll be the mucus going down her throat when sleeping that's making her cough & vomit. Again there's been nothing wrong with her since apart from the cough now & again.
What my question is, even though yes she has been sick in the night from coughing there isn't much else wrong with her, would you still send her to her activities & nursery the next day? Her dads like we should just take her cos its not a sickness bug, it's her cough but I'm not sure I fully agree with that. What's your thoughts?

My 5 year old is sick constantly when she has a cold.
Last month she ended up being off for over a week because coughing caused her to be sick, especially in the morning when it was just a cold.
One morning we got to the school gate and she was sick outside from coughing so we turned around and came home.
I spoke to school about it because I said it is literally just from coughing but I don't want her to keep missing school because 90% of the time, she isn't sick again the rest of the day unless she starts running round.
They agreed that it was fine to send her in as long as we were sure it was just from coughing. In future I wont even mention it, I'l just send her in.
Obviously if there was any chance it was a bug or something, I wouldn't.

 

[Longtimesnooper]

I'm a bit of a stickler for the rules so i guess that's what makes me think we should be keeping her off for the 48 hours but there really is nothing wrong with her during the day apart from a cough which she always seems to have nowadays . She's got her nursery Christmas party this week & I'd hate for her to miss it for practically no reason. Her dad's just put some books under the head of her bed to elevate it a bit, see if that helps tonight

 

[Jellybean093]

Looking for opinions. So my daughter has caught yet another cough from nursery with a bit of a sniffle. On Monday morning she coughed so much she was sick (mainly looked like mucus but hadn't eaten that day yet),kept her off nursery for the recommended 48hrs but really she was her normal self not long after she was sick. Wednesday back to nursery, but she was sick again at night from coughing, I was bad this time kept her off the Thursday but didn't say she was sick & she went back Friday, again she was fine all day. Last night she was sick three times from coughing, I actually ended up phoning 111 just cos of the bloody cough. Was told it sounded like a respiratory viral thing & it'll be the mucus going down her throat when sleeping that's making her cough & vomit. Again there's been nothing wrong with her since apart from the cough now & again.
What my question is, even though yes she has been sick in the night from coughing there isn't much else wrong with her, would you still send her to her activities & nursery the next day? Her dads like we should just take her cos its not a sickness bug, it's her cough but I'm not sure I fully agree with that. What's your thoughts?

Went through this with my 7 year old a couple of weeks ago. He came out in a rash on his face (viral ) so I kept him off school. He was sick the first night he was off because of the coughing, but I spoke to the school and said he’s not got a bug, his cough made him sick and they said it was fine to bring him in

 

[Jellycat369]

Looking for opinions. So my daughter has caught yet another cough from nursery with a bit of a sniffle. On Monday morning she coughed so much she was sick (mainly looked like mucus but hadn't eaten that day yet),kept her off nursery for the recommended 48hrs but really she was her normal self not long after she was sick. Wednesday back to nursery, but she was sick again at night from coughing, I was bad this time kept her off the Thursday but didn't say she was sick & she went back Friday, again she was fine all day. Last night she was sick three times from coughing, I actually ended up phoning 111 just cos of the bloody cough. Was told it sounded like a respiratory viral thing & it'll be the mucus going down her throat when sleeping that's making her cough & vomit. Again there's been nothing wrong with her since apart from the cough now & again.
What my question is, even though yes she has been sick in the night from coughing there isn't much else wrong with her, would you still send her to her activities & nursery the next day? Her dads like we should just take her cos its not a sickness bug, it's her cough but I'm not sure I fully agree with that. What's your thoughts?

There are so many viruses going around this year. I'd be tempted to send her in if she's well in herself but if she coughs and is sick at nursery then they'll enforce the 48hr thing regardless. Might be worthwhile taking her to a gp first, just in case. At least they'll be able to provide some reassurance and you might be able to get a written confirmation from them to give to the nursery so she's covered if she's sick there.

 

[Longtimesnooper]

Thanks guys! Honestly, I knew she would catch things when she started nursery but I didn't realise how much! I think a three week stretch is the longest she's gone without a day off. Its strange, cos her cough doesn't sound any different from the usual one she picks up so was surprised at how sick its made her. She wasn't sick last night despite a coughing fit at 5.30am so hopefully this is it almost ending .

 

[PillowsofFluff]

We went through a stage where my daughter coughed herself sick every time she got a bad cold.. I still sent her in, as I was confident it was caused by the phlegm and not a sick bug. Obviously if I had any doubts I would keep her off, but sometimes it's obvious when a coughing fit is the only thing that sparks it off.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Entering the sickness chat. Between the 4 year old and 10 month old we’ve not had one day of someone not being ill since October half term. 4 year old had scarlet fever and finished 10 days penicillin a week ago. She still has strep tongue and is so fatigued. She’s so tired she’s not coping and having meltdowns. I took her back to the gp on Thursday last week they just said it will take time for her to recover and she has a post “viral” wheeze as she has a cough similar to asthma now. How long do I leave it before taking her back. As it’s strep it really worries me. She was so ill with it last year and needed three lots of antibiotics to clear it.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Solidarity. Don't think we've had a week free of some bug since she started nursery is August sickness one was the worst, parenting a vomiting toddler while you also vomit is like an extreme sport

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Solidarity. Don't think we've had a week free of some bug since she started nursery is August sickness one was the worst, parenting a vomiting toddler while you also vomit is like an extreme sport

Haven’t had this yet, probably be Christmas Day the way my luck is did the toddler at least hold your hair back

 

[WhatABore]

Solidarity. Don't think we've had a week free of some bug since she started nursery is August sickness one was the worst, parenting a vomiting toddler while you also vomit is like an extreme sport

We have been so lucky that my nearly 6 and 2 year old have never had a vomiting bug.

Going to jinx it now, I'm sure

 

[Jellybean093]

Entering the sickness chat. Between the 4 year old and 10 month old we’ve not had one day of someone not being ill since October half term. 4 year old had scarlet fever and finished 10 days penicillin a week ago. She still has strep tongue and is so fatigued. She’s so tired she’s not coping and having meltdowns. I took her back to the gp on Thursday last week they just said it will take time for her to recover and she has a post “viral” wheeze as she has a cough similar to asthma now. How long do I leave it before taking her back. As it’s strep it really worries me. She was so ill with it last year and needed three lots of antibiotics to clear it.

Same here since the October half term. It’s constant. And now me & Mr B are ill and every single child is coughing

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Same here since the October half term. It’s constant. And now me & Mr B are ill and every single child is coughing

It really is parenting on hard mode ‍ how has it affected your older children being at school? Mine starts next year and if it’s another year of this she’s going to miss a lot!

 

[Jellybean093]

It really is parenting on hard mode ‍ how has it affected your older children being at school? Mine starts next year and if it’s another year of this she’s going to miss a lot!

To be fair, my eldest never had time off in primary. She only had 2 weeks off when her adenoids were removed. The second is ok, probably has had a couple of days off each year, and number 3 who started school nursery in September seems to be doing ok. He hasn’t missed any school yet, I don’t think. I honestly think they just get used to it. Although you do get the same kids that are *always* ill some way or another

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

To be fair, my eldest never had time off in primary. She only had 2 weeks off when her adenoids were removed. The second is ok, probably has had a couple of days off each year, and number 3 who started school nursery in September seems to be doing ok. He hasn’t missed any school yet, I don’t think. I honestly think they just get used to it. Although you do get the same kids that are *always* ill some way or another

That was me I loved a sick note. Anything to get away from the teachers coffee breath

 

[Longtimesnooper]

I really want to ask what the other children's attendance is like or if mine has been off the most. Her nursery did a stay & play so I went in with her, it was the start of a bad cough (as one of the teachers liked to point "oh that cough again" cow!) & I thought some other children would be coughing to but no! Plenty snotty noses but only mine hacking up a lung . Shes always wanting to cuddle the baby & kiss her but ends up spluttering all over her, I said to my MIL can you try get toddler to cover her mouth when she's coughing near baby & she said baby will just get it anyway. Oh well, let's make sure she bloody does then eh!
I think once she's had her Christmas party, I'll just quarantine her until Christmas in the hope she's well for it. I don't even want to take her anywhere during the holidays in the hope she might actually be well for a period of time!


Mod edit remember to link new thread

Toddler Advice Thread #6 Christmas is coming, as are the illnesses

New thread - I don’t think there was any thread titles, but it seems fitting as full on winter illnesses are doing the rounds! Does everyone feel personally victimised by their toddlers, or just me?

tattle.life