Toddler advice thread #3

[al255]

Ready to throw my son out the window with his eating just now! He’s always been a good eater but in the past few weeks his eating speed has slowed right down to the point it’s now taking him over an hour to eat a meal. And it’s not like we give him huge portions, lunch yesterday was a ham sandwich, some mango chunks, a satsuma and a yogurt. He will sit with food in his mouth for ages and not even chew it. But it’s not like he’s not hungry or doesn’t like it, he’s not spitting it out and saying he doesn’t want it. If we have an hour and a half spare he’ll eat his full meal, but that’s obviously not an option.

Took him 50 minutes this morning to eat a slice of toast, a few strawberries and a few mouthfuls of boiled egg. In the end I took it away from him and he started crying saying he was hungry?! Really don’t know what to do

I feel your pain- mini A refused her tea at nursery last night and wouldn’t eat a banana. So she got home, had left over spag bol, 2 packs of raisins, cereal and a bag of crisps! There was NO way she was going to bed hungry as we’d have been up at 4am

she is the fussiest eater, it’s dreadful. She won’t eat anything new and some weeks it feels like rinse and repeat with the meals she eats. It winds me up! People say to me she will eat when she’s hungry and last night just proved she wouldn’t eat it even if she was starving, starving her isn’t the right thing to do either! But it’s frustrating!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Ready to throw my son out the window with his eating just now! He’s always been a good eater but in the past few weeks his eating speed has slowed right down to the point it’s now taking him over an hour to eat a meal. And it’s not like we give him huge portions, lunch yesterday was a ham sandwich, some mango chunks, a satsuma and a yogurt. He will sit with food in his mouth for ages and not even chew it. But it’s not like he’s not hungry or doesn’t like it, he’s not spitting it out and saying he doesn’t want it. If we have an hour and a half spare he’ll eat his full meal, but that’s obviously not an option.

Took him 50 minutes this morning to eat a slice of toast, a few strawberries and a few mouthfuls of boiled egg. In the end I took it away from him and he started crying saying he was hungry?! Really don’t know what to do

I know it’s hard work but pls don’t force him or make him eat it if he doesn’t want to. My parents used to make me sit at the table allll night if I didn’t eat my food and then say I’ll get it back for breakfast. I used to cry every meal time and get really anxious about food and meal times. I’ll never forget what they were like. They used to shout at me and it was really horrible. Once I was crying so much cos I didn’t like what they’d given me and my mum threw a glass of water in my face to get me to stop

I’m not sure what you can do but As long as he is eating something !? Does he tell you what he likes and doesn’t likes ?

 

[WhatABore]

Ready to throw my son out the window with his eating just now! He’s always been a good eater but in the past few weeks his eating speed has slowed right down to the point it’s now taking him over an hour to eat a meal. And it’s not like we give him huge portions, lunch yesterday was a ham sandwich, some mango chunks, a satsuma and a yogurt. He will sit with food in his mouth for ages and not even chew it. But it’s not like he’s not hungry or doesn’t like it, he’s not spitting it out and saying he doesn’t want it. If we have an hour and a half spare he’ll eat his full meal, but that’s obviously not an option.

Took him 50 minutes this morning to eat a slice of toast, a few strawberries and a few mouthfuls of boiled egg. In the end I took it away from him and he started crying saying he was hungry?! Really don’t know what to do

I don't have much advice but my 4yo is exactly the same. Always has been.

She either has a bowl of cereal or 2 slices of toast for breakfast and it takes her around 50 minutes every morning.
Takes her around an hour for dinner/lunch too.

I know it's difficult but try not to show your frustration or make it into a thing. It'll create issues around food and eating and make it so much worse

 

[sodit]

Ready to throw my son out the window with his eating just now! He’s always been a good eater but in the past few weeks his eating speed has slowed right down to the point it’s now taking him over an hour to eat a meal. And it’s not like we give him huge portions, lunch yesterday was a ham sandwich, some mango chunks, a satsuma and a yogurt. He will sit with food in his mouth for ages and not even chew it. But it’s not like he’s not hungry or doesn’t like it, he’s not spitting it out and saying he doesn’t want it. If we have an hour and a half spare he’ll eat his full meal, but that’s obviously not an option.

Took him 50 minutes this morning to eat a slice of toast, a few strawberries and a few mouthfuls of boiled egg. In the end I took it away from him and he started crying saying he was hungry?! Really don’t know what to do

Not sure how old he is, but could he be teething? Mine always eats like a snail when they’re on the way.

Thanks for the pox vax tips everyone. Will keep it a casual/visiting grandparents kinda weekend.

 

[and nothing happens]

I know it’s hard work but pls don’t force him or make him eat it if he doesn’t want to. My parents used to make me sit at the table allll night if I didn’t eat my food and then say I’ll get it back for breakfast. I used to cry every meal time and get really anxious about food and meal times. I’ll never forget what they were like. They used to shout at me and it was really horrible. Once I was crying so much cos I didn’t like what they’d given me and my mum threw a glass of water in my face to get me to stop

I’m not sure what you can do but As long as he is eating something !? Does he tell you what he likes and doesn’t likes ?

Oh gosh that all sounds just awful, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I am conscious that I don’t want it to become a “thing” for him as it may be a passing stage, so I’m trying to keep my cool with him although it is so frustrating! He will eat most of what I put in front of him, it’s just the snails pace that he goes at that’s cracking me up lol. I suppose you’re right in that at least he’s still eating something. Hoping it’s yet another temporary phase that toddlers love to hit you with lol.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

My daughters had an allergic reaction to the erythmyocin so now she’s been prescribed another 7 days on kerflex. Luckily it was a mild reaction with a little splotchy rash.

She also eats so slowly but it’s because she gets up and down and plays with her toys. She’s extremely fussy anyway but won’t eat if the food goes cold. I’ve given up

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Oh gosh that all sounds just awful, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I am conscious that I don’t want it to become a “thing” for him as it may be a passing stage, so I’m trying to keep my cool with him although it is so frustrating! He will eat most of what I put in front of him, it’s just the snails pace that he goes at that’s cracking me up lol. I suppose you’re right in that at least he’s still eating something. Hoping it’s yet another temporary phase that toddlers love to hit you with lol.

How long has he been doing it. Hopefully it is a phase. Does he go to nursery have they said he does similar ? Sometimes mine doesn’t always want to eat what I’ve made for tea and I hate to see it go to waste but if he won’t eat he won’t eat. What portion sizes do you give. Mine is a lot better with a small one

 

[and nothing happens]

How long has he been doing it. Hopefully it is a phase. Does he go to nursery have they said he does similar ? Sometimes mine doesn’t always want to eat what I’ve made for tea and I hate to see it go to waste but if he won’t eat he won’t eat. What portion sizes do you give. Mine is a lot better with a small one

It’s only been the past few weeks or so, he’s the same at my Mum’s and nursery have commented on it too. He had covid in October followed by chicken pox a few weeks later and he’s just getting over some viral thing so it’s maybe just all that affecting his appetite, I hope it’s just a temporary thing

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

It’s only been the past few weeks or so, he’s the same at my Mum’s and nursery have commented on it too. He had covid in October followed by chicken pox a few weeks later and he’s just getting over some viral thing so it’s maybe just all that affecting his appetite, I hope it’s just a temporary thing

Aww sounds like he’s had it all going on. I’d say that could be a factor. Maybe doesn’t have much appetite after he’s been unwell. Poor lamb. I’m sure he’ll eat when he’s ready! I’d just keep offering him small amounts little & often and hopefully he’ll start again. For tea mine had cheese spread on toast, yoghurt , two diff fruits and a biscuit. Jacket potato for lunch at nursery.

 

[Okgolightly]

Yes, mine had it when she was about 18months- 2 years, it’s harrowing when they go through it but I don’t think they remember anything. I burst into tears one night as she ran at me hitting me because she was so scared - she obviously thought I was a baddie in her dream, she seemed awake but she obviously wasn’t. I think night terrors are different to nightmares because night terrors are kind of worse for you as a parent as the children don’t seem to remember anything the next day.

Thank you, this has made me feel a bit better! I’ve been really anxious about her remembering it being scared over it; she’s currently asleep next to me in bed because I’m worried it will happen again!

 

[HoneyBee29]

Anyone any tips on handling the toddler tantrums? She either throws herself on the floor crying or goes all limp like a noodle so you can’t even grab her under the arms to lift her or anything, it gives me anxiety when we are out in public cause I feel like everyone’s staring at me thinking I don’t know how to control my child I also feel myself getting annoyed and frustrated with her and I feel like the worse mum.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Oh god my little boy has got a rash on his bum , legs and feet!!!! I’m never gonna sleep tonight. It looks like a heat rash but I’m not sure

 

[Jellybean093]

Anyone any tips on handling the toddler tantrums? She either throws herself on the floor crying or goes all limp like a noodle so you can’t even grab her under the arms to lift her or anything, it gives me anxiety when we are out in public cause I feel like everyone’s staring at me thinking I don’t know how to control my child I also feel myself getting annoyed and frustrated with her and I feel like the worse mum.

I don’t know if I’ve blanked it out, but I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with major tantrums outside the house. Have you tried giving her a cuddle? I know that’s probably the last thing you want to do when they are getting on your last nerve x

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Anyone any tips on handling the toddler tantrums? She either throws herself on the floor crying or goes all limp like a noodle so you can’t even grab her under the arms to lift her or anything, it gives me anxiety when we are out in public cause I feel like everyone’s staring at me thinking I don’t know how to control my child I also feel myself getting annoyed and frustrated with her and I feel like the worse mum.

It’s really frustrating when they throw hissy fits
over seemingly nothing. We all have days where we’re pushed a little too far and don’t handle things the best way we could. I think if she’s throwing herself on the floor I’d adopt the approach of pretending to leave and saying “okay bye, mummy’s going now” you don’t even have to move anywhere it usually makes them stop and wonder wtf you think you’re doing… one thing that I found with mine is that she seemed to absolutely relish if she could sense I was getting frustrated with her so try not to let her get the better of you. Often completely different energy diffuses the situation.

At home though I’d just ignore her (to my husband’s annoyance - ge used to pander to her instead… the outcome was never different to ignoring her either ) - I’d literally step over her to go about my business and let her crack on til she’d stop.

 

[Meg78]

Anyone any tips on handling the toddler tantrums? She either throws herself on the floor crying or goes all limp like a noodle so you can’t even grab her under the arms to lift her or anything, it gives me anxiety when we are out in public cause I feel like everyone’s staring at me thinking I don’t know how to control my child I also feel myself getting annoyed and frustrated with her and I feel like the worse mum.

Best thing I ever read is: children are born knowing only one thing…. that we will show them what love is

So if we show them cruelty, or violence, or indifference to their suffering, they will think that that’s love

But likewise if we show them kindness, and empathy, and acceptance during their darkest moments, they will think that that’s love instead

A tantrum needs rebranding to the word overwhelmed, it’s basically a toddler panic attack that something wasn’t as expected or they felt something they’re not used to, it’s hard to not feel pressured by society to shush them and make them compliant in public because we feel the weight of judgement from others, but tell me, if you had a panic attack in public, how would you want your loved ones to react? Would you want your partner to walk away and say he’s leaving you, or would you rather a big bear hug and moving somewhere quieter until you feel safe again?

Show your child what love is in these moments in spite of your own uncomfortableness, because at the end of the day they won’t remember that their parents were embarrassed, they’ll only remember how you made them feel, and their coping techniques will start to mirror yours over time, and they’ll start to self regulate. It’s hard but absolutely worth it

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Mine has hand foot and mouth

 

[Megatron1298]

Best thing I ever read is: children are born knowing only one thing…. that we will show them what love is

So if we show them cruelty, or violence, or indifference to their suffering, they will think that that’s love

But likewise if we show them kindness, and empathy, and acceptance during their darkest moments, they will think that that’s love instead

A tantrum needs rebranding to the word overwhelmed, it’s basically a toddler panic attack that something wasn’t as expected or they felt something they’re not used to, it’s hard to not feel pressured by society to shush them and make them compliant in public because we feel the weight of judgement from others, but tell me, if you had a panic attack in public, how would you want your loved ones to react? Would you want your partner to walk away and say he’s leaving you, or would you rather a big bear hug and moving somewhere quieter until you feel safe again?

Show your child what love is in these moments in spite of your own uncomfortableness, because at the end of the day they won’t remember that their parents were embarrassed, they’ll only remember how you made them feel, and their coping techniques will start to mirror yours over time, and they’ll start to self regulate. It’s hard but absolutely worth it

So wise this is such a good way of putting it! @HoneyBee29 I am experiencing the same at the moment it’s so hard! The limp drop kills me, I just sit with him at home but if we are out it’s normally a hoist up and outta the shops asap

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Anyone any tips on handling the toddler tantrums? She either throws herself on the floor crying or goes all limp like a noodle so you can’t even grab her under the arms to lift her or anything, it gives me anxiety when we are out in public cause I feel like everyone’s staring at me thinking I don’t know how to control my child I also feel myself getting annoyed and frustrated with her and I feel like the worse mum.

I found this on the NCT website:

Toddler tantrums: the facts and how to cope | NCT

Toddler tantrums can stress the calmest parent. Whether your child’s got the terrible twos, bedtime blues or the dreaded public tantrum, here’s how to cope.

www.nct.org.uk

You will need a few different tricks up your sleeve - as one approach wont work all the time. see if you can spot a pattern of when she does it too - I noticed after nursery my daughter used to really stomp and cry, but it turned out that she wasn’t eating enough at nursery and seemingly me picking her up reminded her of that! She needed a bit of food between there and our house on the way home, so I would always take some snacks with me to feed her as I was getting her in her pushchair on pick up and that was really a case of prevention being better than cure…

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I actually can’t remember a time we went a full month without being unwell!!!!. It’s so draining !!! I’m really sad he’s missing out on his last week at Christmas. It’s their pre school nativity today and he was meant to be a reindeer. He’s missing Christmas jumper day, Christmas dinner and the party on Friday . He would have enjoyed the lot

 

[Okgolightly]

I actually can’t remember a time we went a full month without being unwell!!!!. It’s so draining !!! I’m really sad he’s missing out on his last week at Christmas. It’s their pre school nativity today and he was meant to be a reindeer. He’s missing Christmas jumper day, Christmas dinner and the party on Friday . He would have enjoyed the lot

I really feel for you and your poor little boy hopefully he will get it out of the way to be able to joy Christmas itself. Remember to take some time for you, too, if you can x