Tiffany Thinks #18

[oceanbaby]

And I think many of us here wish she would just do a long break from YT and take care of her mental and physical health instead of trying to keep to a schedule but she seems hell bent on doing that for whatever reason. I also think the way she left things in her goodbye video prompted many of the emotions. Basically no one would be updating anyone and they were left wondering if she even made it out of surgery. Sure she can just disappear and that's her right but when you get 100K subscribers caring about you and worrying so much they can't even sleep I would expect some comments for sure.

But maybe Tiffany feels recording helps her mental health. We all know that it can sometimes be hard to really break down to those closest to us. To tell them your deepest fears, often because you don't want to upset them further. But there is another side to it as well. Sometimes it just feels good to unload knowing people are listening, but also keeping some distance as well. I think this is also in keeping with Tiffany's personality. A bit of a safe comfort zone.

I also want to point out that people on here keep saying her followers complain about not getting updates. That is not what I see. I visit Tiffany's youtube page often to leave comments of support, and I find the vast amount of her followers have not complained about her not giving updates. Most say things like - don't apologize, take care of yourself, and we're here when you're ready. Considering the tremendous amount of comments she receives, there's a very small percentage that complain, thankfully.

 

[Saydee]

But maybe Tiffany feels recording helps her mental health. We all know that it can sometimes be hard to really break down to those closest to us. To tell them your deepest fears, often because you don't want to upset them further. But there is another side to it as well. Sometimes it just feels good to unload knowing people are listening, but also keeping some distance as well. I think this is also in keeping with Tiffany's personality. A bit of a safe comfort zone.

I also want to point out that people on here keep saying her followers complain about not getting updates. That is not what I see. I visit Tiffany's youtube page often to leave comments of support, and I find the vast amount of her followers have not complained about her not giving updates. Most say things like - don't apologize, take care of yourself, and we're here when you're ready. Considering the tremendous amount of comments she receives, there's a very small percentage that complain, thankfully.

Miaowwwwwww You could have quoted me

 

[suzeq]

There’s a lot of mithering on here about lack of updates and how she’s been vague throughout the whole diagnosis and process and how she hasn’t shared exactly what surgery or exactly what organs etc etc. I fail to see how that is anyone’s business and with such a life changing surgery it may well take her time to process it both before and after. She certainly doesn’t owe anyone outside her family anything, but yes, I do see complaints of her not sharing enough here. A lot a lot a lot.

ETA IF she ever wanted to share in-depth personal information like that, I doubt in the weeks post surgery would be the time as she adjusts herself. And also she’s under no obligation to. She owes nobody absolutely nothing. She has a very serious cancer ffs. Think of the toll that takes emotionally and physically!

I think most here don't feel "entitled" to an itemised list of organs removed or updates that let followers know she made it through surgery. But that doesn't preclude the likelihood that we're going to have an opinion about her choices. When you publish your life online, you expose yourself to critiques and feedback, that's the tradeoff to earning an income from your viewers and going public. Hell, even movie stars or politicians who are just doing their job that just happens to be a medium consumed by the public have their personal lives exposed and opined upon.

Tiffany actually willingly uses her personal life to attract a paying audience. She puts it out there herself, videos it for dramatic effect and encourages comments from strangers in her comments section.

This isn't a light topic, and the mental and physical trauma must be huge, so if T needs time and chooses to not update but rather process her journey then that is also fair enough

Again, she chooses to film and publicise her cancer journey. Of course anyone interested may have additional questions or grow frustrated by her opacity. She can refuse to answer, delete questions, decide on her own terms, but we are also allowed to have an opinion about that. That's called a cult or being brainwashed when we are required to leave our own skills of deliberation and opinions at the door and blindly support her.

 

[Saydee]

I think most here don't feel "entitled" to an itemised list of organs removed or updates that let followers know she made it through surgery. But that doesn't preclude the likelihood that we're going to have an opinion about her choices. When you publish your life online, you expose yourself to critiques and feedback, that's the tradeoff to earning an income from your viewers and going public. Hell, even movie stars or politicians who are just doing their job that just happens to be a medium consumed by the public have their personal lives exposed and opined upon.

Tiffany actually willingly uses her personal life to attract a paying audience. She puts it out there herself, videos it for dramatic effect and encourages comments from strangers in her comments section.



Again, she chooses to film and publicise her cancer journey. Of course anyone interested may have additional questions or grow frustrated by her opacity. She can refuse to answer, delete questions, decide on her own terms, but we are also allowed to have an opinion about that. That's called a cult or being brainwashed when we are required to leave our own skills of deliberation and opinions at the door and blindly support her.

Suzeq well done for speaking about what you see and what you feel. Its brave to do.

Yes many are feeling sorry for T because she cried on video, while just 2 weeks ago they felt duped because she was walking down a corridor or said she got no notice given for her surgery.

Don't anyone feel bad for how you feel.

 

[oceanbaby]

I think most here don't feel "entitled" to an itemised list of organs removed or updates that let followers know she made it through surgery.

But in fairness she was highly criticized, even mocked, by many on here for not giving a list and for not being more forthcoming and also for not updating her followers. Thus is makes it seem like those people feel entitled to that info. As if it should be happening.

 

[Turaj]

But in fairness she was highly criticized, even mocked, by many on here for not giving a list and for not being more forthcoming and also for not updating her followers. Thus is makes it seem like those people feel entitled to that info. As if it should be happening.

I think coming back to the TT fam after surgery and admitting the extent of the cancer in the colon was not easy....made much more difficult by sharing earlier on about the choice of the W and W led by Matt in the car. Clearly Tiffany, her family (both real and virtual) and the doctors now know that was a mistake. She is expecting to get questions about that...I don't know if she has on TTYT but we have talked about it here. Her TT fam for the most part for a long time wanted her to get the surgery but despite that she did not. Now she is back to the same group more or less indicating the W and W was a failure and may have resulted in an even more complex surgery. They could have done scans at the time of this choice and did not see all of this.? I guess it was not there? .I don't know what happened at that time. I have said before I think the lead surgeon was okay with W and W because based on his conversations with his patient and her questions he knew she did not fully understand at that time...while he might have wanted to do it back in August he has a professional duty to make sure his patient is not blindsided after surgery. I guess he did his job.

 

[suzeq]

But in fairness she was highly criticized, even mocked, by many on here for not giving a list and for not being more forthcoming and also for not updating her followers.

You have to admit that it IS a rather huge omission in sharing her cancer experience, from a person who claims that "I tell you guys everything", not to mention the name of the surgery or why the WW program that vexed so many of us was employed.

I see it as justified opinions, not entitled, if people feel she could have had someone provide a brief update. You even see here the concern evoked for the Krocks when no after surgery update was provided. I think it's just natural to be worried and want reassurance. It's just the word "entitled" we're quibbling over is all. I'll agree to disagree on that.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I think she actually does owe her followers a full & frank explanation about surgery etc
Maybe not right now, while she’s recovering, but in a few weeks or months. This situation isn’t going to magically go away over night - she’s going to be recovering and rehabbing etc for MONTHS - she cant just gloss over everything and pretend its not happening. She has THOUSANDS of followers who are heavily emotionally and financially invested in her, she owes them the truth. Her life has changed completely and that’s far to huge to ignore or give half truths about.

 

[EllaEm87]

And I think many of us here wish she would just do a long break from YT and take care of her mental and physical health instead of trying to keep to a schedule but she seems hell bent on doing that for whatever reason. I also think the way she left things in her goodbye video prompted many of the emotions. Basically no one would be updating anyone and they were left wondering if she even made it out of surgery. Sure she can just disappear and that's her right but when you get 100K subscribers caring about you and worrying so much they can't even sleep I would expect some comments for sure.

But she said there would be no updates so I’m not sure why people got so mad that her sister didn’t say anything. Her sister isn’t making YT videos, Tiff is. And I saw those comments being made here, not on her pages. And if they are so worried they can’t even sleep then I’m sorry but the issue lies with them. Tiff shares her cancer journey yes, but she shares only what she wants to share. The fact she doesn’t share enough for some people is a them problem, not a her problem.

I think she actually does owe her followers a full & frank explanation about surgery etc
Maybe not right now, while she’s recovering, but in a few weeks or months. This situation isn’t going to magically go away over night - she’s going to be recovering and rehabbing etc for MONTHS - she cant just gloss over everything and pretend its not happening. She has THOUSANDS of followers who are heavily emotionally and financially invested in her, she owes them the truth. Her life has changed completely and that’s far to huge to ignore or give half truths about.

She owes nobody anything. It’s that simple. She told everyone she had surgery, it was never a secret. She’s now sharing her experience, in her own time.

 

[ginnyw]

I'm of the opinion that she doesn't owe anybody anything BUT it would be considerate of her to update her followers a bit more than she previously has been doing. When she feels up to it.

 

[EllaEm87]

I'm of the opinion that she doesn't owe anybody anything BUT it would be considerate of her to update her followers a bit more than she previously has been doing. When she feels up to it.

So you want it on your terms not hers. If she felt up to it before now, perhaps she would have? Maybe she hasn’t felt up to it? See what I’m saying? That’s you wanting something from her that she may not feel ready to give, which is exactly my point.

 

[Turaj]

But she said there would be no updates so I’m not sure why people got so mad that her sister didn’t say anything. Her sister isn’t making YT videos, Tiff is. And I saw those comments being made here, not on her pages. And if they are so worried they can’t even sleep then I’m sorry but the issue lies with them. Tiff shares her cancer journey yes, but she shares only what she wants to share. The fact she doesn’t share enough for some people is a them problem, not a her problem.


She owes nobody anything. It’s that simple. She told everyone she had surgery, it was never a secret. She’s now sharing her experience, in her own time.

I have to agree with "she owes nobody anything" is it simple. If the TT or TL followers don't like the content or find it enough etc. then just don't look. Especially on TT YT none of them have to subscribe, like, buy merch or send stuff to the PO box. It is all a choice not mandatory. If someone is charging for a service online or in person then there is a contract of sorts for each side to deliver..but this is all social media and Tiffany has not entered into any agreement to deliver anything other than in her mind she has some schedule for videos. If she charged to see the videos okay maybe different. If she is making money off people that really thrive on this stuff as said it is THEIR problem. I just can't see videos like these last two and expect any more.

 

[PuzzlesAndWine]

Many of us do not understand it but this girl really needs to do it.

I've been coming to the same conclusion since this last video where she picked up the camera right away.

I also want to point out that people on here keep saying her followers complain about not getting updates. That is not what I see. I visit Tiffany's youtube page often to leave comments of support, and I find the vast amount of her followers have not complained about her not giving updates. Most say things like - don't apologize, take care of yourself, and we're here when you're ready. Considering the tremendous amount of comments she receives, there's a very small percentage that complain, thankfully.

I've seen many and I've also seen the worst ones disappear, those comments don't stick around very long. It's true most are as you say, well wishes and encouragement but the others are there, or were, and they aren't all hateful, they are like: An update would be nice, Can you PLEASE have someone update we are worried sick...along those lines. She has a FB fan page and they removed people and comments because they didn't post only encouraging things, if someone states they are very concerned and want an update others say be patient, give her time, she just had surgery. I don't see any of that as complaining, I see it as concern.

But she said there would be no updates so I’m not sure why people got so mad that her sister didn’t say anything. Her sister isn’t making YT videos, Tiff is. And I saw those comments being made here, not on her pages. And if they are so worried they can’t even sleep then I’m sorry but the issue lies with them. Tiff shares her cancer journey yes, but she shares only what she wants to share. The fact she doesn’t share enough for some people is a them problem, not a her problem.

I'm pretty sure I was one of them. I said it was crappy of her not to update all those people worried about her. And I think it was. And I don't disagree that it's a "them" problem and not her problem. If you are losing sleep over someone's YT update then yes, maybe step back. My reasoning for saying what I did was that she claimed to care about them and loves them alot, created this big online family, got them invested in this year long journey and then just disappear and say nobody will be updating you, goodbye. It's not a crime but in my opinion it wasn't very "loving" or considerate.

 

[Turaj]

So you want it on your terms not hers. If she felt up to it before now, perhaps she would have? Maybe she hasn’t felt up to it? See what I’m saying? That’s you wanting something from her that she may not feel ready to give, which is exactly my point.

she was quite clear about the depression upon returning home...the days of crying and not even reaching out to those really close in her life..

 

[EmyUrban]

I apologize, I don’t know how to quote direct statements from your post that I wanted to respond to.. I’ll learn eventually! So I copied and pasted some of what you said and responded to them.

‘No matter what you’re going through at some point you need to answer or you’re gonna lose your loved ones/ friends/job, everything …’ - she did answer and she did it on her own time.. she knew what she did wasn’t the best way to go about it as she apologized in her video.

‘I’ve been in a low place/in depression a few times in my life and I’ve not answered some friends and still to these days I feel guilty.’ And do you know what, even on her worst days when she cannot get out of the bed cannot sleep cannot eat and cannot stop thinking about killing herself she manages to call her job because she knows people are waiting for her !!!’

These quotes of yours I feel like you’re comparing again and I do not think you should compare anyones pain or difficult experiences. This was my point in my post you responded to. Just because your friend can manage to call her job on her ‘worst days’ doesn’t mean it’s fair to compare t to your friend. 2 people can go through difficult, identical experiences and get through them differently. Just because your friend has suicidal thoughts, but manages to contact people, no matter how difficult that is for your friend, it’s not right to compare t to your friend. We don’t have a clue as to what t is going through or feeling. Some could say ‘I could contact my friends and family’ but how do you know that if you’ve never had stage 3 cancer and just had PE surgery?

Yep, you’re right.. I jumped to assumptions when I wrote that many of us thought she didn’t receive good news. I apologize.. that was wrong of me.

‘But you know, no matter if you’re depressed, very low, in fear, shocked, in pain mourning or anything, when you have a job and can’t come you call the boss, don’t you ?’

I don’t agree with your statement here. And also what you wrote here
Sorry to say but it’s a job and we are the « clients » we deserve to know if the shop is closed for how long and if it’s written « bikes for sale » we want to be able to buy bikes if the shop is open. If the business owner has lost her wife unexpectedly he still manages to write « closed » on the door of the shop. If he doesn’t, clients are gonna be angry and if he never comes back he will lose the job. She has responsibility with her job.
She has responsibility with her friends / loved ones. That is why she was sorry for leaving people in the dark. I still feel guilty for leaving some friends in the dark , years after. My bipolar friend feels GUILTY when she is thinking about a plan to end her life while her loved ones are going crazy on her phone’

She doesn’t have a boss and she can post whenever she likes. I read comments on here that people were annoyed that she spent so much time vlogging and she should take a break. When she takes a break, people now want an update, when she gives an update, the update is not enough for people. She can’t seem to please anyone. I keep repeating myself. honestly with an empathetic lens, I think your opinion would change. You keep comparing t to your friend living with bipolar and now a shop owner who can put up a sign informing his clients his shop is ‘closed’ because of his wife’s death. It’s honestly not right. I’m sorry for your friend. I live with a neurodiversity a 6 diagnosed mental illnesses. I don’t use my mental illnesses in comparison to t in her last video. ‘Oh I have 6 mental illnesses.. but I would contact my friends and family’ how would I know that if I’ve never had t’s experiences? Yes, I’ve had suicidal ideations after I was sexually assaulted and I couldn’t get out of bed nor eat. In those years, I lost many friends and I secluded myself completely.. I was angry at life. I can relate to her not wanting to contact anyone, but I will never fully understand as I am not t, and again.. we all deal with things differently.

I don’t know how to quote directly either sorry!

« she knew what she did wasn’t the best way to go about it as she apologized in her video »
Absolutely and I congratulate her for doing it, it was the right thing to do.

I kind of agree there is no need to compare sufferings and I would like to insist on the fact that I do have empathy for her, it might be a cultural thing because French don’t express so openly their feelings/ are much less expansive/demonstrative I don’t know how to explain but for example I’ve known a French boss who had an American employee, and when she was satisfied with his work she used to say « not bad! » and the American felt it was not good enough but actually in French « not bad » means « great job congrats » haha … so maybe that is why you think I am not quite empathetic but look at my posts’ history you’ll never find something mean about Tiffany. I have empathy and I don’t think leaving people in the dark/ no update is an unforgivable crime. I absolutely could have done the same thing in her situation, I’ve done it in the past so you are right I don’t know. She is not a selfish person because of that and I don’t judge her person BUT I judge the behavior (hiding/leaving/killing herself like in my friend’s example) which is a selfish one and that can never be a solution . My point is that you can be both ANGRY and LOVING/ empathetic . But leaving without a word is a basic lack of respect and I would never understand people getting angry at those who want updates …

About the business part agree to disagree I guess she is the boss but she has clients, even worst to me, she basically raised a cult . If the village priest does not come to mass one morning, all the faithful look for him, and if they are not informed of anything, they will surely knock on his door. That doesn't make them monsters, quite the contrary and you should find empathy for them too. Maybe it's a cultural problem too, because in France it’s the opposite when we know someone is sick and we don't ask for news, it's really quite rude actually whereas you (UK,US, Australia ? I am not sure) value more your needs of space/privacy/boundaries maybe ? In New York if you touch/hit someone accidentally in the street it’s basically like a crime and you have to apologize profusely. In Paris if you touch someone accidentally nobody cares most of the time and no sorry is needed except if the person falls or is old and disabled … very shocking for American and Japanese I guess …

But I do agree with you that it seems she can’t do right no matter what. That’s unavoidable when you have a huge following I guess…

ICU footages are quite unexpected but I find her very brave for doing so. I personally would find much more easy to speak about surgery in details than filming myself in ICU so I kind of admire her for that but I am (like some of you) endlessly perplexed by the fact that she can film herself in ICU raw and vulnerable but can barely explain her treatment plan or the surgery . It’s kind of a paradox and mystery to me…

I do guarantee you that even if I don’t express it very well and even if I sound dry and cold I definitely have empathy for what she is going through… Just saying that if she wants to leave she has to say it, if she wants to continue she has to give updates about her cancer journey, that’s it and no matter the situation, otherwise in my opinion people have the right to voice their concerns …

 

[Turaj]

A very encouraging update from Jessica Krock on her instagram. No details but I think the message indicates things went well and doctors are encouraged. Great to see her.

 

[LeonorG]

I think it may have been nervous/anxious laughter. The brain can react in strange ways.

Yes I and my dad have an urge to laugh at funerals. We can simultaneously cry and laugh too. It's some kind of a defense mechanism.

 

[ScrattyRatty]

Krocks have an update on their Insta

 

[jenh526]

I think coming back to the TT fam after surgery and admitting the extent of the cancer in the colon was not easy....made much more difficult by sharing earlier on about the choice of the W and W led by Matt in the car. Clearly Tiffany, her family (both real and virtual) and the doctors now know that was a mistake. She is expecting to get questions about that...I don't know if she has on TTYT but we have talked about it here. Her TT fam for the most part for a long time wanted her to get the surgery but despite that she did not. Now she is back to the same group more or less indicating the W and W was a failure and may have resulted in an even more complex surgery. They could have done scans at the time of this choice and did not see all of this.? I guess it was not there? .I don't know what happened at that time. I have said before I think the lead surgeon was okay with W and W because based on his conversations with his patient and her questions he knew she did not fully understand at that time...while he might have wanted to do it back in August he has a professional duty to make sure his patient is not blindsided after surgery. I guess he did his job.

She is still sticking with “just following doctor’s advice” regarding WW

 

[LeonorG]

I think most here don't feel "entitled" to an itemised list of organs removed or updates that let followers know she made it through surgery. But that doesn't preclude the likelihood that we're going to have an opinion about her choices. When you publish your life online, you expose yourself to critiques and feedback, that's the tradeoff to earning an income from your viewers and going public. Hell, even movie stars or politicians who are just doing their job that just happens to be a medium consumed by the public have their personal lives exposed and opined upon.

Tiffany actually willingly uses her personal life to attract a paying audience. She puts it out there herself, videos it for dramatic effect and encourages comments from strangers in her comments section.



Again, she chooses to film and publicise her cancer journey. Of course anyone interested may have additional questions or grow frustrated by her opacity. She can refuse to answer, delete questions, decide on her own terms, but we are also allowed to have an opinion about that. That's called a cult or being brainwashed when we are required to leave our own skills of deliberation and opinions at the door and blindly support her.

You always say it so eloquently, exactly what I'm thinking but you relay it so much better. Like @EmyUrban said, there is a certain responsibility towards her viewers - her clients. And Tiffany knows it as she herself treats it as a job. She gets paid for it after all, she has a business account, merch, sponsorships. She promotes her channel and encourages viewers to subscribe and she relies on viewership for the business to operate. It is a brand (her cancer and her life) and she is a businesswoman. She uses catchy thumbnails and titles, she dramatises her content, edits and films a way to make it more interesting for viewers. All premeditated and planned. She is good at it. Yes there are moments which we view as "raw" but that is also posted for her viewers, her clients. And we can feel great empathy for her (and I do a lot a lot) and at the same time be aware of the fact that it is part of a business.