This Mama Life #26 Sinbad’s off to sea sea sea but what about poor old me me me?

[Letsgetlost]

Seems glaringly obvious now that her parents don’t use Instagram…that photo of the kids and her parents, her mums eyes are SHUT. Sure the old wifey would be over the moon to have such a half hearted crap photo plastered on the internet for thousands to see.

On a serious note, that story made me feel ill. However, she’s very manipulative so I do feel that she is fully aware of how these stories make her look. I have no doubt she is banking on her pals and or family contacting Captain Birdseye worried about her mental state therefore blackmailing him into leaving the navy. Appreciate I sound harsh but everything she does is calculated.

 

[Onthehop]

So she left today because her parents are going away?

 

[hd1234]

If they moved to the Middle East would she have help with the children like a live in nanny so she wouldnt have to spend any time with the kids apart from when they were asleep or send them off to boarding school and then ship them off to her parents during any holidays

 

[Lilybobtail]

Maybe it's just me but surely her parents could come to her to help from time to time seems like they don't work and I'm not suggesting they parent the kids but surely for the time she was at Scotland they could have flown down
She's "working" while there and they have the kids...seems like they all put those 2 kids last!

 

[IAlreadyDespiseYou]

Maybe it's just me but surely her parents could come to her to help from time to time seems like they don't work and I'm not suggesting they parent the kids but surely for the time she was at Scotland they could have flown down
She's "working" while there and they have the kids...seems like they all put those 2 kids last!

I suspect they don’t want to because staying with her would be hell.
Also, she wants to go “home”, she doesn’t want to be where she actually lives.

 

[JulieScoobyDoo]

I don’t understand why her parents have never been to the house. Why would you not want to see where your child and grandchildren live? It’s not like they don’t travel be size they clearly do

 

[Popper]

Gagging because you are going home? Wow. Why’s she sharing this on the internet? Literally saying she hates her whole life and wants to relive her childhood.

 

[GiggleBee]

I don’t understand why her parents have never been to the house. Why would you not want to see where your child and grandchildren live? It’s not like they don’t travel be size they clearly do

Her mum and brother have been down. Would you want to though? I bet she puts the 'woe is me' act when they try to leave. We know she dumps the kids on guests too, she constantly does it to 'aunt' Nat.

 

[DeloresBawbag]

I hope she’s ok. Being in her head must be really hard.

I wonder why she’s so obsessed with Aberdeen? She moved a lot and lived in other places, so it’s not like a visceral tug to her roots. It seems to be very specific to where her parents are?

And how can she align wanting to live abroad, but not coping living in England cos it’s not Aberdeen? I mean, moving to Dubai is very much NOT Aberdeen?

Can you imagine Rob in civvie street, working long hours and away sometimes? Would hit her like a cold kipper across the chops. The chilling realisation that the problem wasn’t the navy, it was him not being there every day to do the tough stuff. Which happens all the time in non navy jobs!

If she finds him being away so horrific, why has she not engaged support? Loads of parents do it alone, all the time, not just for a few weeks or months at a time. Could she not find it in herself to rise to the occasion and learn how they cope? This martyred I DO SO MUCH and I NEVER MOAN is ridiculous.

 

[Veronica]

She should just move to Aberdeen.. Robs never there anyway so would make no difference to the kids, least they'd have the stability of the grandparents. Rob can just visit when he can.... He can't leave the Navy when he's so close to the end, the financial implications are clearly what is driving his decision to stay and its what he's sacrificed his working life for.... He will always put the Navy first. The kids and Sarah are safer in Aberdeen

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I don’t understand why her parents have never been to the house. Why would you not want to see where your child and grandchildren live? It’s not like they don’t travel be size they clearly do

Sarah probably hasnt given them the option; she likes being able to escape from her life and run away to Aberdeen
---

She should just move to Aberdeen.. Robs never there anyway so would make no difference to the kids, least they'd have the stability of the grandparents. Rob can just visit when he can.... He can't leave the Navy when he's so close to the end, the financial implications are clearly what is driving his decision to stay and its what he's sacrificed his working life for.... He will always put the Navy first. The kids and Sarah are safer in Aberdeen

I don’t think the money/pension is Rob’s motivation- he is clearly someone who just enjoys his job, he joined the navy at 16/17 - it’s been his entire adult life and he’s fully indoctrinated in it, the navy is his life; sarah & the kids are in second place.

 

[Veronica]

Sarah probably hasnt given them the option; she likes being able to escape from her life and run away to Aberdeen

Her mum and brother came didn't they? I don't know why she doesn't pay for her mum to fly down to do childcare, surely it's cheaper than fuel there and back.. I get why they don't all fly as its super expensive, but just 1 person should be viable. I do think her parents love the kids and do enjoy having them.

 

[Lilyofthevalley80]

Having visitors required providing food and being present. It also requires organisation and prioritising visitors’ needs over your own/Instagram. These are all things that Sarah struggles with

She does not want to be one of the adults in the room but revert back totally to a parent and child relationship, mentally and physically, where she is looked after and only hast to put her own needs/wants first. She had to provide basic childcare etc to her own children when at a home but she can completely derogate that at her parents’ house and revert back to a time and lifestyle she feels she was most happy but really it is where her emotional development stalled.

Her primary relationships are with her parents. Not with her husband and children so of course she feels happiest with her parents as she gets little to no emotional enjoyment or comfort from being with her own family as that means she is physically separated from her parents. In fact, she finds it very stressful and upsetting.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Her mum and brother came didn't they? I don't know why she doesn't pay for her mum to fly down to do childcare, surely it's cheaper than fuel there and back.. I get why they don't all fly as its super expensive, but just 1 person should be viable. I do think her parents love the kids and do enjoy having them.

Her parents are wealthy, they could easily afford to flu down

 

[rainbowunicorn9]

Her behaviour is getting more and more concerning, I really hope for the kids sake someone steps in and does something soon. It won’t be long until Isla is at a really difficult age with having to deal with her own emotions going through puberty etc and being a teenage girl is hard, let alone with a mother like Sarah. I’m sure most people have aspects of their life they don’t like or would like to change or arn’t perfect or the way you pictured but you just have to get on with it, suck it up and deal with the cards you were dealt. The children should come before any sort of wish she has for her own life
---
I wonder where isla and Lachlan call home or class as home? It must be so confusing with Sarah calling so many places home apart from the one place that actually is her current home.

 

[Veronica]

Her parents are wealthy, they could easily afford to flu down

I kind of meant as there doing her a favour, she could offer to pay.. But u would think they'd save the kids the ridiculous journey

 

[Pissedoffwithinfluencers]

Imagine staying at Sarah’s house as a guest .. you’d get up in the night for a pee and she’d be randomly moving a sideboard up the stairs or painting a banister at 3am because .. haha .. funny sorry .. Jesus weep

 

[Lilyofthevalley80]

It is sad. Sarah had so many maladaptive behaviours. She seem to have such poor emotional regulation and can’t self soothe. So she uses addictions to social media/distractors such as fantasising about different lives styles, places to live/food controls as distractions because she is really in a lot of emotional pain. Addictions, distractive behaviours etc are really ways of coping with pain and abandonment and attempts to regulate a disregulated nervous system.

The problem is that there are children involved her. One of their primary care giver cannot provide them with the care and support they need. The other one is absent for long periods. The other adults surrounding them do seem to love them but they can’t prioritise the children’s needs above those of their mother. Their primary focus is on keeping her “happy” so far as they can. There is a huge amount of co-dependency

 

[GiggleBee]

When does it get to the point that the school step in? Someone from the school must watch her stories and have concerns?

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

Would not let her drive my children 5 miles... Let alone hundreds of miles down the country. She could freak out and slam them all into the central reservation at any point... I know someone that has done this before, very sad and awful injuries. She is being affected by her eating disorder with the wrenching. Cannot handle her life and this whole situation is awful. Someone needs to step in at this point, get them home safely and the kids back into school, order a fridge and sort some sort of plan. They are probably safer left at grandparents in Aberdeen at this point if no one can chaperone them and sort something for Sarah, doesn't she have private medical cover?! She should use it.