The Tim Tracker #81 All in all it was a Fantastic Day to Lose 2k Followers

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Galorious

Awww Buddy now we've taught you to HATE needles, eat all this beige shit n sugar so you can be sure to have a future full of needles when you inevitably develop type 2 diabetes. Fucking award winning parents!

Blessyourheart said:
Why do they own a rake ?
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For Jenn's eyebrows.
 
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Love_the_kitz

Blessyourheart said:
Did anyone notice the garage has been cleaned & organized? Can’t believe they didn’t film it.
All of those strollers! WTF? Why do they own a rake ?
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The company who cleaned their garage probably did not want to be on a vlog.

Van pulls up
Dude 1: "Oh shit."
Dude 2: "What?"
Dude 1: "I know this house, it belongs to one of those lazy Disney vloggers. They're probably going to want to film and monetize the work we do. "
Dude 2: "Shit. I'm not going to be on one of those. Just tell them no. "
Dude 1: "Gonna have to be No."


What I don't understand is why they just had them reinstall those weak wire shelves again. Why not invest in a proper cabinet system?
 
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Quasimodo

What was the point of Dim unnecessarily letting the baby snake bite him and taking forever to just release it? To make up for his micropenis? Out of desperation? To get attention from his whackadoodle wife who asked if he was bleeding?
 
Reactions: 14

mjm9


Pic courtesy of @DisNuts

I’ve been on vacay, so I don’t know the context and location of this picture.

If it is the kitchen, does that step stool replace that “accident ready to happen” white platform step ladder that we here have been saying for the longest time “J$ is too tall for”?

 
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M

Moonpie_Mickey

LOL. Not sure why my T-shirt was in the sleepwear section. Maybe it’s because it’s PJs? So after 7 months of having Lynn they are still on the Alphabet?
 
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R

rageblackouts

I guess we probably should cut her a little slack - it was probably tough to keep up on trivial things like Beanie Babies and Y2K as a teen while also focusing on getting started with your jukebox sandblasting career.
 
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Quasimodo

Ginn sounds so gullible and clueless when she's talking about Lyn's credentials. She says Lyn is "certified" (in... what, exactly? Bullshitting?) She claims Lyn has experience teaching "kindergarten, 1st, 2nd". Weird, I don't recall seeing that on her resume...

I seriously hope Lyn doesn't expect a letter of recommendation from the Slackers if she ever moves on to a legit job.

"Lynnie was the BESTEST! She changed my child's diapies, haha. We would totally hire her again. No but really we'd really like to have her back, I've had to be a mother for a week and I'm going to have a meltdown (did you know cheese melts?) which I plan on filming in the style of The Blair Witch Project, which I just learned was a movie this past weekend, haha."
 
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2020planner

Spot on, except you forgot one - or many - thing(s)

"Lynnie was the BESTEST! She changed my child's diapies! haha! We would totally hire her again! No but really we'd really like to have her back! I've had to be a mother for a week! and I'm going to have a meltdown! (did you know cheese melts!?) Which I plan on filming in the style of The Blair Witch Project! Which I just learned was a movie this past weekend! haha!"
 
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B

Bierman

I look so bad....Iwant to redo the lighting in the entire house-Jenn
"lighting isn't your problem, and won't make you look better "- Me
 
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Quasimodo

Oh shoot, you're right! I can't believe I forgot those!
 
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V

VloggerCritic

Quasimodo said:
She says Lyn is "certified" (in... what, exactly? Bullshitting?)
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I checked nobody with her last name has a teaching certificate/license in the state of Florida. No professional licenses under her full name closest is a Ruth with a real estate license that expired in 1998.
 
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TawdryT

The undercurrent of Jenn threatening months of Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome Slooooooooooooogs.

I, I don't know if I can do it.
 
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Quasimodo

she's beauty and she's grace



Shhh Lynn with 2 N's, they have to milk this for all it's worth!!! You're only a good parent if you show up to CVS for your kid's vaccination with a pile of stuffed animals, books, and an ice pack, and then let him stuff his face with cake pops and cookies and pretzels and oh!my!gosh! even an overpriced CAR WASH!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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2020planner

I know how we talk on here, but man, the first-hand knowledge and / or imaginations of some of these stans!

Just out of this exchange alone, we learn -

1. the Trackers WOULD NOT WANT to put J. in daycare
2. when J. is fully vaccinated, he WILL start swim lessons
3. J. meets up with kid friends at the park and neighborhood kids too
4. J. goes to parks, events, ships, museums, etc. - DAILY!
5. the Trackers will be traveling to Japan and France soon!
6. the Trackers have mentioned a neighborhood friend and meetups
7. the Trackers go to park / playground ALL THE TIME
8. J. has cousins and adult family members he sees REGULARLY


 
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Y

YoNosé

What’s with Tim trying to be heavily present on Instagram now? It’s so weird. Also, that Twitter post that Jenn made about the cookies is weird too!
 
Reactions: 13
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