The Sloppies Nominations (Jack Monroe)

[People-huv-tae-know]

This was Switchstreetz' Sloppies template from last year. Do we want to stick with the same categories? Let's use this thread to finalise categories and remind each other of all the nominations we could use per category. Once that info is finalised I will create another thread with a voting system or something....


The Sloppies are an online "awards ceremony" held on the Jack Monroe threads, a look back at the last 12 months of the threads and recognise the chaos, lies and slop we have endured together. Without further delay, let's get nominations underway, don't forget your tinned fish party bags!

This year's ten categories are:

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance”

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”
-im being naughty and breaking impartiality to nominate the dryer fluff and tin can candle lighters in this category, because to this day I still get the shudders when it pops into my head

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year”

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length

9. (As yet untitled - open to suggestions) award for 'favourite' cabal recreation of a Jack Monroe Recipe

10. The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year”

Nominations will run from now until 16th December just stick the category number and your nomination in this thread - the only rule is that it must have happened from Dec 1st 2021 onwards.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

3. GEORGIA CHURCH SUPPERS

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

If anyone knows a good website host/provider (I don't know) that I can use to create a webpage with voting capabilities, please let me know. Otherwise I will create an analog version.

 

[kachoochoo]

omg, thank you for putting this together and good luck

giving the people the to do list to choose from

Spoiler: jack's coming soons

£15 a week lunches
£20 shops as a whole
3 recipes per week in 2022
9 half-written manuscripts
15 minute meals
24 tweet thread of proving the trolls wrong
35 recipes from a £20 shop, pick your fave
2000 words for print glossy GQ awards
a few announcements
adding to twitter thread of plants as they bloom
advent calendar
aged chicken thigh bone stock
alcohol free versions of recipes
another walk in a restricted mod area
apple and pear crumble with brown sugar
austerity book
base system going in next book
BBC show guest on dr rupy's iplayer show
best value vegetables for squig
big press photo shoots
big work
black bean brownies recipe
black bean recipes from poll
black pudding pastitsio
BLM video monetization donation
blog a simple recipe
blog about energy companies' profits and nationalising stuff
blog of heatwave foods
blog post excited about for ages
bollocking rishi sunak
book on culinary history
book signing in Belfast
books for slow cooker appeal

books for the rural coffee caravan confirmed never arrived 17.2.22 by rcc twitter

Brand New System for desk - wallpaper
bright blue think tank updates
brioche balls
brioche, mincemeat and camembert wreath
broccoli, creamy cannellini beans and fish
broccoli breakfast pasta
budget shopping article
Camp Kitchen from the shed
cannelini bacon and pork belly pie
carrot cake baked oats
chestnut fudge thing
chicken livers
chicken nuggets with black pudding crumb
chocolate and prune oats
Christmas condiment
Christmas leftovers caesar salad - nov 2022
cinnamon granola recipe
coconut oil etc mouthwash quantities
coffee scrub
column for the Breakdown
comic filter security
comparison of 2021 £20 shop to 2022 £20 shop
compiling list of independent food banks
Conditions of Bungalow Bubbling lessons
cooking for one book
cost of living crisis recipes in one category
crispy fish recipe
curating regular book recommendations
David Walliams book reviews
dauphinoise pie
dealing with paying taxes
deep pinky purple mascarpone ice cream
denim shirt embroidery commissions
depressipes
detailed blog on nutrition
devilled eggs recipe - completed it, mate
diabetic recipes
dig out microwave and kettle recipes
DM to Yel
drawing nigella's garden
dyeing all clothes black
easy care for cutlery
email household management book to agent
ethical on a budget
explain daily usage of pythagoras theorem something to do with rishi sunak
festive pop tarts
festive vegan loaf peeling pie
filing accounts
flannel blog
flapjack recipe
folding fitted sheets in seconds
food truck of joy
fulfilling all patreon commitments 2022 edition
gailymail
giant caramelised banana and chocolate pancake
goat kleftiko
gold rush xmas presents
great resources by trans + non binary writers
greek cook book
greens, eggs and ham
half-written budget xmas recipes
handing over her platform to poc
haybox and thermos cooking
healthy on a bootstrap
hecking big decluttering
helping disability and mental health writers
history of York road market
homemade hand sanitiser
homemade cleaning items
homemade dog biscuits
huge depop or Ebay sale
human dreamies
hummus price increase reason
hybrid cassoulet
ideas for pumpkin flesh
inbox zero by bedtime every day
intermittent fasting anger essay
jackfruit version of something
James Bond conspiracy theory
jubilee trifle recipes
kidney bean, black bean and coconut soup
Klingon gagh recipe
knit blanket
kolokythokeftedes recipe
kombucha whisky
leftover cranberry sauce recipe
lemon curd and mixed berry porridge
lever arch files of fan mail
life hacks book
line by line spring budget takedown
links to small businesses
list of slow cooker recipes
lockdown larder 2.0 resumption threatened
lockdown list of services
make turnips not taste like turnips
maple syrup story
mashed potato secret
meal planners on website
militant boiled eggs
mince pie doughnuts
mincemeat recipe
mole
monopoly for charity with martin lewis
more cabbage
more to say on british social attitudes
moving house
mushroom drying completed 2018
mushroom butter
New Thing
newspaper campaign the bleeping express
no- and low-fuel cooking (kinda) the bromelain in canned pineapple is denatured
no waste cook book (on twitter for world earth day)
nutrition degree
onion chopping song
open the space squig box
Other Plans for cabbage
ouchy mouth recipes
painstakingly costed menu for week under £20
pastry recipe
patreon update
peasants pudding recipe
picture of tree postcards
pistachio milk
pointing out real plants
pork and lentil bolognese
postcards, postcards, postcards
poverty memoir
puttanesca soup
quick pickling
radish recipes
recipe roundup on Instagram
recipes for small people
red ephemera soup recipe
redoing dinner to get better light
report for work and pensions committee
repotting spider plants from a friend
reshooting beach pottery in daylight
rooting out Amazon from website

running around in heels with a Tall Man GQ awards 2020. no evidence of running or dancing, but Marcus is tall. she didn't even personally hand him the award.

running order for xmas dinner
salt and vinegar sardines and spaghetti
sardine tin print
sausage and kale slop
Secret Ingredient - possibly banana skin
secret stock ingredient potato water
selling books on website again
send squig mandarin carrot recipe
sending maple syrup tin to fan
serious work
serving libel papers to fox/daubney/anderson
set up mastodon
setting her teenage musings to music
sexy kitchen makeover reason
shopping trolley viewed Sept 2021, unclear if gift
sideboard photos reason
sleep hygiene routine
slow cooker bubble bath
slow cooker recipes, maybe for depher
slow cooker xmas dinner - before xmas 2021
some kind of timetable for SB in lockdown
something about how money buys time
something else Jack'll remember sometime
soup for bed recipe
spite recipe
split peas and cooking bacon
squigs pick eyeshadow looks
super secret shopping trip hack
supper nanny
support cabal for bullied media types
swamp thing
sweet and sour soup
sweet potato caramel
t shirts with offensive slogan actually done within 3 hours 1.2.22
t shirt profits to trussell trust updates
teemill profits
thread about moving house
thrifty shades of beige
Thursday thunder clap
tiktok
tin juice cordial recipe
tomato soup water content - done
train video for squig
transcribing and blogging non binary talk
transcribing government bollocking
translation of a Greek Cypriot cookbook
unorthodox cheese sauce - done
unorthodox courgette squishing
Up To Something
uses for juice from del monte tins
various cornflakes chicken recipes
vegan char sui buns
vegan cheese list

vegan crackling deep-fried rice paper apparently, admitted April 2022. this was among the original items on this list, first posited in late 2019, preceding these threads

vegan diabetic creme egg (maybe)
vegan haggis
vegan pastitsio in collab with Linda
vegan paella with artichokes
vegan pie glaze
vegan version of upside down pineapple chicken
Vimes Boots Price Index - due mid February 2022
visit Poland
weekly routine
write about diva pdf experience
write about sobriety
writing a thing about tories and 30p meals
zero waste curry falafels

 

[ForgettyBetty]

9 = Tedros Ghebreyesus award

1: I nominate Jack's chubby lil thighs

 

[Bugger13]

5. The shrunken head boiler suit
9. Geetbo’s 3 tin tender.
10. Tom of the ‘dire’ roasties

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

9 = Tedros Ghebreyesus award

1: I nominate Jack's chubby lil thighs

Is that Latin for giant grifter?

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Is that Latin for giant grifter?

DG of the World Health Organisation lol

 

[Clarends]

Least Due Diligence Award, for bookers and journalists who didn't read the room.

Something like that

 

[Lazarus]

2) HH2

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance” - Those awards in Scotland where she couldn't be arsed dressing up

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor” - flying to Dublin for an interview

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos” - Hunger Hurts 2

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”
- shampoo in the washing machine/tinned pineapple to cook fish

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year” - cartoon Jack in the easter jumper

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie” - BIG DAVE FIRED A CANNON AND THE NEIGHBOURS DIDNT LIKE IT

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by [SIZE=15px]@kachoochoo[/SIZE] for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length - The People's Pudding alternative Jubilee trifle that she costed unfairly and never gave the recipe, only bothering to make it far too late to be useful to anyone.

 

[Falkor]

10. The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year” - Old Harold - I feel he deserves the nomination both for escaping and for providing us with a good six months of entertainment.

 

[Amanda Lin]

1. Stealing Pringle lids on a plane
2. The ubiquitous Tiffany earrings
3. Georgia church suppers
4. Oven tins in bed
5. Shrunken head in a boiler suit
6. Rinsed hoops 2.0
7. Georgia Church Suppers (double nominee!)
8. VBI (mere work of moments)
9. Three tin tender by Geetbo
10. Hide the pain Harold

 

[Phillipa78]

1. The book festival (Hastings?) Where she brought her "security" and regaled the great unwashed with pov tales whilst wearing her designer suede jacket. Shame we didn't get audio of that one.
4. The £50 fuel voucher one. Duh!
8. I vote grifty kitchen. In 2022 we were treated to endless final deadlines.

Oh and...
3. The 30p Lee and Lozza chaos. I think we'll see the beautiful fallout from this in 2023 when her deadline for filing legal action expires and she can't continue to make idle and veiled threats. What happened to the money Jacko?!

 

[LadyGarden]

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance” The appearance where they were taking live online questions and the woman reading them looked shocked onscreen - can't remember where that was!

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos” Georgia Church Suppers

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice” Cancelling direct debits and 'paying what you can afford' instead

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year” Shrunken Head Boilersuit

9. (As yet untitled - open to suggestions) award for 'favourite' cabal recreation of a Jack Monroe Recipe <--- title suggestion: The Slopalong Award

 

[Clarends]

Least Due Diligence Award, for bookers and journalists who didn't read the room.

Something like that

Trussell trust always excels itself, But Catherine Cookson working class hero award from Hastings book festival is gold.

 

[SmolWarrior]

Thank you dear heart @People-huv-tae-know for organising. It's really exciting that there will be a Sloppies after all! Here are my nominations for the consideration of the Canal Academy:

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance”

The lies told during the Q&A in Edinburgh and host lady’s sharp intake of breath when seeing the questions

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”

The 100+ brand new packing boxes for the heckin’ great move.

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”

Roast potatoes meltdown and subsequent flounce from twitter

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”

Cancel your direct debits for your energy bills – what’s the worst that could happen?

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year”

Potato head boiler suit facetune selfie

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”

Upside down ‘fish pie’, 7 years in the making

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”

I have two nominations for outrageous:

All of HH2 and;

‘I have two friends in ICU’

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length

#TROLLCLAIMS

9. (As yet untitled - open to suggestions) award for 'favourite' cabal recreation of a Jack Monroe Recipe

The Slopalong award as a title?

Nomination: the pickin balls recipe by @binkbonk, for the hilarious video and the terrifying ‘boulevarrrrd’ at the end.

10. The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year”

Sir Tom of ‘it looks dire’ fame.

And I propose a special achievement award to @hooplifehero for Grift and Griftability!

 

[jenny2603]

Here are my nominations:

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance”: Edinburgh as much for the stunned reaction of the interviewer when she saw the questions from the public as anything else.

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”: A trip to Dordrecht that proved to be such an ordeal for Harold HE LEFT!

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”: Burger Boy and the steamy six hour sex romp. (If this doesn't win I shall embark on post Sloppies hooliganism of a kind that will sicken all true fans of the game)

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”: Cancel your fuel direct debits and just pay what you can afford.


5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year” Wee head, big body jumpsuit of horror.

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”: The SPITE fish pie that weirdly failed to derail Jamie Oliver's new show on account of being horrible (Top tip, Jacks if you want to upstage Oliver, you need to learn to cook, just saying)

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”: Sneaking Georgia Church Suppers in here because although technically a chaos, it was born from the fib that Jack has any interest in Eastern European cooking at all.

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length

The Voracious Bottom Inspector (sorry, might have got the name wrong, also not sure of spelling)


9. (As yet untitled - open to suggestions) award for 'favourite' cabal recreation of a Jack Monroe Recipe
Poor @Geetbo and the three tin tender of terror.

10. The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year” As Iqbal has been quiet (rather too quiet- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, JACK???) I shall nominate Sir Tom (DIRE).

 

[Geetbo]

I'm BUSY but have to do this!

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance”
Edinburgh Q&A chaos.

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”
Tiffany earrings

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”
Georgia Church Suppers (and if this doesn't win I'll be doing a Kanye. WARNED.)

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”
-im being naughty and breaking impartiality to nominate the dryer fluff and tin can candle lighters in this category, because to this day I still get the shudders when it pops into my head
Advising Lorraine viewers to use shampoo instead of detergent in the washing machine.

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year”
The shrunken head and flowery jumpsuit abomination.

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”
The pear brick.

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”
The bollocks about living in two rooms of the crappy bungalow in order to prepare for the impending move.

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length
VBI

9. (As yet untitled - open to suggestions) award for 'favourite' cabal recreation of a Jack Monroe Recipe
I'm going to come back to this one as I need to relive the slops.

On reading the thread I had forgotten about @binkbonk 's glorious pickin balls video. Has to be that.

10. The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year”
Burger Boy.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I only came in halfway through the year so missed the Harold chaos and other greatest hits, but here goes...

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance”
Going a bit rogue here and nominating the recent Cardiff housing conference cancellation - she should never have even been offered the slot.

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”
Going to Dublin for a completely unnecessary uninvited trip with only £20 in the bank (allegedly)

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”
Potatogate

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”
Telling people to cancel their direct debits for energy payments

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year”
Shrunken head flowery jumpsuit, and all Frau iterations thereof

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”
That gopping fish "pie". I've puked up better dinners

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”
I'm torn between "The dog isn't allowed upstairs" and "I'm now sleeping on the sofa forever to practice being in a one bed flat"

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length
The Vibrating Bumhole Incinerator

9. (As yet untitled - open to suggestions) award for 'favourite' cabal recreation of a Jack Monroe Recipe
Geetbo's three tin tender, with an honourable mention for all us Fraus who participated in the slopalong

10. The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year”
Tom of the Potatoes